this blog is all over the place

29, finnish, bi, she/they disaster of a human being 100% disaster bi

[a-stray-thief]

Post outing, during Shane’s first season with Ottawa, he meets up with Rose. The Centaurs have a game in New York and Rose has a Colbert appearance. The press immediately speculates why Ilya didn’t come with them. After all, he and Shane are married now. The more trashy outlets speculate about Shane and Rose rekindling their romance while the more serious ones (lol) write about tension between Rose and Ilya and Ilya being jealous and A Close Friend bemoans how poor Shane is in the middle of his husband and his best friend not getting along. 

Fast forward a couple of months, the Centaurs are playing LA. Shane is sitting out the road trip due to a minor injury. Ilya meets up with Rose at a small restaurant to avoid the press, but they get caught by paparazzi. And they get absolutely swarmed. Usually, Rose can handle a few paps going after her, but this time there are so many, they block the way from the restaurant’s door to where her car is parked. Rose was just caught leaving a party hand in hand with another actor a week ago and the paps are after her like crazy and because she and Ilya were meeting on the dl she didn’t bring security. Turns out, she didn’t need to. The paparazzi are in their faces, yelling at Rose about her possible relationship with her actor or whether she’s hooking up with her ex-boyfriend’s husband now, shoving them around and flashing their cameras. Unfortunately for the paparazzi, none of them have a lot of experience with professional hockey players. Hockey players who can fight and are good in a scrum. So Ilya drags up his I’m gonna drop my gloves and punch out your teeth persona and yells at them loud enough that at least two of the paps drop their cameras. Even these hardened vultures don’t know what to do in the face of Russian hockey player fury. Ilya doesn’t punch any of them, but he doesn’t have to. Just wraps an arm around Rose and clears a path for her with the other, his broad shoulders and the murderous expression on his face equally well suited to get them back to Rose’s car. The clip goes viral, especially because it catches Rose’s absolutely vindicated expression when Ilya basically glares the last photographer out of his way, and says, just audible for the camera, “next time we go out, we bring hockey sticks and just sweep them out of the way like ugly overgrown pucks.”

Later that night, Rose posts a clip of her and Ilya on the ice, shooting pucks with the caption 💪 practice.

[ilya-sweetheart]

Peak David Hollander behavior

[jewelcoatfish]

yeah i think ilya loves seeing shane’s childhood bedroom so damn much he comes to yuna and david’s sometimes and just spend time snooping there. and of course no one has any problems with it, they welcome him in fact. one time ilya was sitting on shane’s bed looking at a framed photo of shane and his parents on his bedside table when david walked in and sat next to him and started talking about the day the photo was taken. he ended it with “the first few months after shane left for montreal, sometimes i’d see yuna sitting right here, holding the picture or one of shane’s shirt and she was crying.” and ilya understood, he missed shane like a limb too even when he’s only two hours away, so he nodded.

and david continued. “it’s just like that, isn’t it, we know he’s not far, we know we can call him and text him, but only seeing him once every few weeks never feels like enough.” and yeah, okay, david was talking to him specifically now, and so he muttered a tiny “i miss him.” under his breath and david wrapped an arm around his shoulder and said “that’s the basis of love, then.”

[shanyushahollander]

‘rachel reid totally forgot what she wrote in HR and randomly made ilya want to come out and set up a contrived conflict in TLG for no reason!’ wow look at what i found written on the pages of HR:

[fleabagsversion]

When people point out that all of Shane’s fears come true in TLG, they don’t mention how his fear of losing Ilya also almost comes true. There is a reason why he doesn’t let Ilya drive his sports cars or let him smoke anymore in TLG. Literally one of Shane’s biggest fears is losing Ilya (be it Ilya breaking up with him or Ilya dying). The fact that Shane almost loses Ilya in a fucking plane crash is so important, because it changes Shane’s perspective on their plan entirely and he realises that staying in the closet isn’t sustainable anymore. This is why he immediately proposes to Ilya after.

[darlingofdots]

I love Wyatt Hayes and I love that the no 1 thing we know about him is that he's a nice fucking guy. He's friendly, he's outgoing, he's helpful! He's just so freaking nice. He decides to befriend Ryan, he decides to befriend Ilya, he does NOT take no for an answer. You WILL be his friend. I love him so much.

[aeligsido]

(please suspend your disbelief for the following post)

Shane hits free agency. There's no news about where he's going, if a team signed him up, or anything. Absolute silence from him and his team. People are either starting to panic thinking he's going to retire (at 30???? Shane Hollander????? Retiring?????), or that no team wants to sign him. It's chaos.

Then Shane's official account retweets a mini-documentary from a small local news station of Ottawa.

It starts with the reporter explaining that by going through their archives, they found out an old documentary from twenty years ago that they made with a class of local elementary students, and they thought it would be fun and nice to do a before/after, what did they become follow-up.

At first it alternates between footage of the first documentary, showing the students, etc, and then they switch to a bunch of adults talking in groups and eating at a buffet. You can easily recognize some of the grown-up children. Some of them not at all.

Then they go for the final question they asked the kids twenty years ago: what do you want to be when you'll be older? They show first the kid's answer, and then the adult they later becomes explains what they do now.

There were, of course, a lot of doctors (turns out med school really wasn't for me!), actresses (my parents tried to put me in a theater group and it was a disaster. never again.), various "a mom" and "a dad" (most of them did become parents), firefighters (I didn't make it but I did end up in a fire once), also a very strong "I'll be Prime Minister of Canada" (I work in politic now. I'll make it one day, just you wait!).

And then we cut to ten years old Shane Hollander. Very serious, very blunt, very sure of himself. "I'll be a hockey player."

There's a small laugh from behind the camera. " A hockey player?"

"Yeah. I'll be the best hockey player in the world and I'll get a lot of Cups and beat a lot of records."

"Would you be playing for Ottawa then?" the reporter asks.

Shane grimaces a bit. "I mean I love them but they're bad." Then he seems to think on it. "But since I'll be the best I can go play for them and make them win Cups too." He grins, now, earnest.

Hard cut to now thirty years old Shane Hollander, leaning back against a table, in jeans and an Ottawa Centaurs hoodie. The 81 on the sleeves reveals it's a Rozanov edition.

"Well I recently got married. We just came back from our honeymoon, actually." Then, he grins. "I'm a professional hockey player."

The reporter — the same one from twenty years ago — laughs. "What about the rest of your prediction?"

"Well, I'm one of the best current active players right now. My husband would say he's the best, stats would probably be mixed about it—" There's more laughter from behind the camera. "And until the end of the current season, I was a Montreal Voyageur."

"Until the end of the season?"

"Well," Shane says with a casual shrug, "our values didn't align anymore. And there was another place I wanted to be. I said it the first time, right? I need to bring some Cups to Ottawa."

Now, it's a gasp from the reporter. "So...?"

"As of two days ago, I'm officially an Ottawa Centaurs." Shane is smiling, and it's simple and fond and so terribly happy. "I'm very excited to play for my hometown, with this team. And, also, with my husband. I think it'll be very fun."

"And to get us some Cups, of course."

Shane grins, again. It's a bit smug, maybe, and there's a sparkle in his eyes. "Of course. I did promise it, didn't I? I respect my promises."

... Anyway that's how Shane officially announces he signed with Ottawa.

[barbie-verse]

heated rivalry twitterverse (74/?) it's my birthday so have one of my fave tropes - WAG Ilya

[holiday-melancholy]

katniss and her cheese buns 😭

(my art! 💞)

[butimaficwriter]

before dick and kisses

after dick and kisses

from 😾 to 🙂: an ilya rozanov guide to keeping your shane happy

[kaijuerotica]

after dick no kisses

[handsywoman]

ilya rozanov's personal squishy

[zootycoon-archive]

i got these knockoff boots online and instead of the brand name on the tag they have the name of an apparently nonexistent martin scorsese movie??? what the fuck

[loseremo]

[syzygy-yzygy]

THE ORIGINAL? ON MY DASH

[this-too-too-sullied-flesh]

this post led to a series of events that had martin scorsese himself reacting to his alleged movie goncharov and it has less than 400k notes almost 3 years later?

[the-composite-doll]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[ivviannaa]

mycentaurs are NOT groaning at hollanov's pda or telling them to get a room or feeling even a morsel of discomfort when they kiss in the locker room. they are enablers and romantics. one of the first things we see when troy comes out and says he's dating harris is bood telling him to give harris a good luck kiss, and i wholeheartedly believe they're all the same way with shane and ilya. they're at a barbecue and it's why do you need another chair?? just sit on his lap you're married?? if they aren't bickering at practice, everyone turns into amateur marriage counselors and forces them to kiss and make up. the rookies call them their mom and dad (with bood as a third parent and being daddy, of course). they could start describing their sex life in detail and at least 3/4 of the room would be nodding their head and asking follow up questions. that locker room is shameless and supportive

[shinyhill]

[randomitemdrop]

Item: thousand-year-old drinking game

[just-screaming-into-a-void]

@probablybadrpgideas weird dice Wednesday nomination

[mutinsfromthemoon]

the intern is doing a funny montage video with a bunch of questions for the centaurs and they ask shane “what do you consider to be a perfect day?” and shane answers “any day i spend with ilya is a perfect day” and the intern’s like “but you spend every day with him” and shane just deadpans “yeah? it’s been perfect since i married him” and they ask “even when you guys lose?” and shane goes “if i lose, i still go home to ilya”. and then they ask the same question to ilya and he answers “a perfect day is when i spend every single hour with shane” and the intern says “shane answered the same way” and ilya’s like “really?” and the intern tells him “he said that every day has been perfect since you guys got married” and ilya gets a little emotional and asks softly “he said that?” and the intern nods and ilya just gets up and leaves to go find his husband because he needs to give him a big sloppy kiss immediately.

[thatonekimgirl]

Shane and Ilya slowly inching closer and closer throughout S1. (insp)

[medrawawi]