sherna

shane hollander defense attorney

[jasmiiine]

ok but not at how bts members continue to stan taylor !!

[taylorswift]

LOVE THEM SO MUCH 💘🥰😭💗🙏

[medrawawi]

stay-at-home dad ilya 🙇 (and shane at work)

[oshell-on-ice]

I think at some point Ilya’s therapist gets concerned by what seems to be a codependent and anxious attachment btw Ilya and Shane. When Shane the Doer hears about it, For the sake of his husband’s mental health’s improvement and the preservation of a healthy marriage, he convinces Ilya to try installing boundaries and do activities separately. It lasts a week before Ilya comes home sobbing from a video game session with Troy communicating that if they keep this boundary thing up he’ll need to switch his meds’ dosage because he’s miserable. Shane jumps from the couch he’s been sitting on for 40minutes because he was supposed to eat diner with rose but he kept wanting to make jokes and look at ilya to see him laugh but he wasn’t there and it SUCKED OMG and Shane starts sobbing too because if they keep this up he will have to get on his own meds and let’s never do this again I hate it when I can’t smell you near me

[aftaylorglow]

why do some people still misspell rozanov? wdym you write “roSanov” ??? even if you only watched the show and didn’t read the books, his last name is literally plastered on his jersey. literally the first thing said in the entire show is his name 😭 and it’s followed by a scene showing his and shane’s jerseys with their last names in focus. and in fics, how do you keep the S in text when the relationship tag with his name is literally right there?

[eemolu]

the idea that hollander "tamed" rozanov is really funny to shane because like. ilya finds it hot and is always going along with it, yes of course my husband is so sexy why do you think i moved to this boring fucking city. for dick. meanwhile shane knows the truth which is that ilya tamed himself. he herded shane like a sheepdog until he was exactly in the right position for ilya to flop down at his feet and say i love you, i am a one man guy, sleep with other people if you want but you are it for me, so shane is always there like ??? ilya. what are you talking about. i was literally prepared to be a secret slot on your roster for the rest of time without even admitting that i was gay until you decided to have me over make me lunch and say my name while you come like a love confession and ilya goes lyubmiyy. shut up. i was untamable you tamed the untamable and so shane has to be like yes, baby, i worked so hard, i used all my tricks but he's rolling his eyes because ilya wants to be a wolf shane coaxed inside to sleep on the hearth but instead he's a cat who snuck through the window and fell in love with his prey. self domesticated. and this is just one of the many perfect games they play

[itsbatkingcazzle]

Fans often say things like "siblings core," "they look like siblings," "they act like siblings" to make sure people don't ship two people. So it'd be funny for fans to go crazy over Luca Haas and Hollanov interactions and start labelling them fathers and son. And Luca is just seething with rage because—even though he's trying to change this—he still has the biggest crush on them and he kinda, deep down, still wants to be their controversially young bf. Like, they're supposed to be daddy not dad?!? Why is he immediately seen as their son?!? He's fucking hot?!? People could ship them?!? wtf?!? this is SO sick and fucking twisted?!?

[aftaylorglow]

luca haas, welcome to the jungkook school of being the youngest and crushing on your leader-type, older coworker and getting called father-and-son for it.

[caralikesgay]

hard launch this, soft launch that...has anyone written hollanov going full gaslighting with their coming out? just straight up going "we've been together for years? why are you acting like this is news?"

double points if they don't even plan to do it. they decide to soft launch via no longer actively hiding their relationship, just slowly acting more like a couple around other people. they're both at some event and ilya finds shane and just wraps his arm across his shoulders, which maybe that could just be ilya being ilya, but then shane just leans into it? like this is fine and normal? and when someone questions it shane panics and is just like "why wouldn't i? he's my boyfriend" and whoever they're talking to is like "what? since when?" and ilya is immediately onboard with this game "since 2017."

they just keep doubling down "you don't remember me sneaking out to go visit him every time we played in boston? you were all chirping me about it."

"wait, did you two drive here together?" "why would we take separate cars, we live together?" "you WHAT?"

when someone thinks they're joking they bring up the group chat with shane's parents, ilya scrolls back to a text where yuna calls him her favorite son. they bring up a video clip jackie sent of the twins saying "we love you uncle ilya!" shane brings up his thread with svetlana where she sends him russian words and phrases she thinks he should know.

they quickly enlist everyone who already knew, get them all onboard to pretend like their relationship wasn't ever top secret information. shane posts a picture of him with anya, when someone comments "that looks just like ilya rozanov's dog?" he just replies "yeah, we adopted her several months ago" and ilya replies "love our daughter ❤️"

the more people act like this is revelatory news the more they inisist that it's not. "we started a charity together!" "i moved to canada for him!" meanwhile everyone else is slowly losing their minds.

[loveridden1999]

the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad

[aftaylorglow]

truly nothing beats luca haas being on hollanov tumblr before going pro as the best headcanon in this fandom for me.

[neoki11]

🏒 » Heated rivalry fanart

[fractally]

A reason I like asshole/scary Shane is I like imagining that Ilya has no fucking clue what anyone means by that. Because Ilya's one of the only people on the planet who isn't intimidated by Shane's looks and hockey skill, since he also has both. And he's not put off by Shane's insane commuication style because he's also terminally avoidant, and also an asshole, and Slavic. And he doesn't see the full brunt of Shane's dismissiveness because Ilya Rozanov exists in the warmth of Shane's gaze

Idk there's just something so funny to me about everyone else being like, "Yeah man....that guy is scary as fuck. I once watched him watch tape for 15 minutes straight without blinking. I played on the Mets for three years and he only ever called me by my number" while Ilya is twirling his hair and doodling "Mr. Hollander ✨❤️" in his notebooks in gel pen and imagining Shane as a particularly strange and cute little animal that he can poke to see how it reacts

[argillaforma]

when they come out and everyone is confused why russia's greatest love machine ilya rozanov is fucking boring shane hollander and ilya is like no no he is perverted sex freak i am the boring one honestly i can't keep up marleau

[argillaforma]

marleau: yo, you good bro?

ilya, hair disheveled with the biggest stars in his eyes: i can’t feel my dick

[andy-dandy]

I do love the headcanon that Ilya and Cliff Marleau used to have threesomes during Ilya's Boston era. And Marleau 100% is the bro-y type that believes a threesome cannot POSSIBLY be gay if there's a girl involved and has literally zero doubts in his heart that he and his bestie buddy brother man captain Ilya are both entirely straight, despite kissing (full tongue in mouth) over the top of the girl they pulled together (ignoring her for a solid two minutes) at least once (it was multiple times).

Ilya, obviously, 100% knows that Marleau is at least a little bi, maybe a Kinsey 1 or 2? But he just sort of doesn't have the heart to break it to Marleau because he knows Marleau will have a whole crisis about it and Ilya doesn't have time for all of that rn. Also Ilya absolutely does not want to Awaken Marleau because if Marleau realizes that he likes Ilya then Ilya might have to deal with that and one extremely stressful and confusing secret affair with another hockey player is enough for him thank you!!!

This only comes up when Marleau comes out with the Ottawa guys after a Boston-Ottawa game post-TLG, and whilst drunk mentions the threesome thing and maybe the kissing thing while everyone else slowly exchanges extremely wide-eyed looks across the table.

Shane is incredibly displeased about literally all of this. It's Shane who eventually loses his patience and makes some crack about Marleau being in love with his husband (careful emphasis on his!!!! and husband!!!!) and Marleau goes. Oh yeah no we're just bros. No like. It was all super chill it doesn't count if your socks are on :)

This is when Troy bursts out laughing directly in Marleau's face.

[aftaylorglow]

i love marly headcanons sm

[1410-1221-dec2008]

[ticklefighthockey]

I still think it’s so funny that shane was assigned gay by rose landry and his reaction was WHEW! thank god someone else decided that for me. anyway I’m off to get my man I can sense that he’s making bad decisions in a club somewhere

[isolabellz]

equal opportunity thieves

[bloominflowers]

i guess i like these guys a lot 💆‍♀️