IDontKnowWhatSpaceIs

Random Alien that crash landed into to nowhere and later discovered the computer and social media >White Rose Week 2019 Banner Maker

[akiruo02]

Akiruo's Ko-fi Commissions

Ko-fi Commissions Open! Click to see Akiruo's commission menu.

I set up Ko-fi commissions. Now you guys can commission me through Ko-fi :D

[elumish]

I honestly think Gen-Z and younger simply does not understand how recent widespread smartphone adoption is.

I am not that old, and I didn't have a smartphone until probably late high school. For most of my life, many if not most people were not walking around with a magic internet machine in their pocket that they pulled out and used constantly for everything.

[sandumilfshous]

reblog if you remember having to ration your text messages and accidentally opening the internet on your phone was the end of the world

[hiru3152]

Ruby Rose lost to....... jaune arc [AUcomic]

WARNING: VERY LONG--

this is just the AU where everything messed up.

[beardedmrbean]

[theman]

I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF

[tattooedzombigirl]

This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.

[secondlina]

Reblogging because it’s a damn potato and I want to encourage people to assume potatoes are magical.

[memehumor]

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, I make memes on company time.

[avecesfui-deactivated20200518]

[mysteriousharmony]

Where’s the third and fourth horseman?

[kai-ni]

My time has come

[unfortunately-slut]

One more, and they will be complete

[lethal-liability]

Does this count?

[leeveemealone]

FOUND THE FOURTH HORSEMAN

[basementeye-s]

They’ve all been collected. Now we have the warriors strong enough to take down capitalism

[zacsoyama]

get 🥺 men 🥺 flowers 🥺

[dispatchesfromtheclasswar]

[biglawbear]

Good for this person. This is exactly what you do. Screw the job.

I had a job that made me work an all nighter, 30 hours straight, over Thanksgiving. I resigned that Monday and it was one of the most satisfying decisions I’ve ever made.

[running-in-the-dark]

Part 3:

[invaderxan]

Please pay attention to all the manipulation tactics this boss uses, because they’re pulling out every trick in the book.

“I’m not your boss, I’m your friend”

“Other people will be hurt by this and it’s your fault and I’m going to tell them all that”

Mocking language

Jobs are important too

“Be a team player”

“We’re your family too”

Talking as if this is a thing you must do

“We all make sacrifices”

Undermining your authority

“You caused all of this, really”

Accusing you of being “unprofessional”

“Look at the money you cost us”

“Just laugh it off and come back to work”

This is like a 101 course in how employers use guilt trips to coerce you into putting up with their bullshit. This is precisely why you should never trust those employers who insist that they’re “like a family.” They are not. It’s just a ruse so that your boss can neg you into putting your job ahead of your actual life.

[benepla-deactivated20200506]

[systlin]

Sometimes you see a post and just realize there’s some Wild Shit going on in a community you never knew existed

[unicorncryptid]

[carebear-onion-lizard]

Attached for original context

[the-anime-void]

Finally, I understand

[supreme-leader-stoat]

THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT. THIS WAS THE ORIGINAL POST.

[meepmoopmaap]

this is the second time this has crossed my dash and both times I was ready to accept that this was un-ironic, like fuck it let’s go to registry and see what’s up. Do I believe in past lives? Not really, but damn this is interesting lemme play around

[reikacchan]

don't give up

[mornington-the-crescent]

[hobgobknowsbest]

makes me just think of this poem by Caitlin Seida

[spazzdhn]

[frogkenny]

I FOUND IT GUYS I SPENT HALF AN HOUR LOOKING FOR THIS VIDEO AND ITS HERE

[tristikov]

Always reblog peent.

[videodromefag]

*before clicking play*: IS THIS WHAT i THINK IT IS???

*clicks play*: IT ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

[rgr-pop]

omg!! omg

[ladimcbeth]

Forever reblog.

[thegreenwolf]

Heaven let your eent shine down.

[turing-tested]

is this orange or yellow.

[turing-tested]

its yellow you are all wrong i have decided just now

[dogonitblog]

hey op, what does this say?

[turing-tested]

nice try but i’m not colorblind it says 71

[khazel-t]

[clearcutcasualty]

Am I tripping?

Is that not 71?

[rankeluck]

You’re slightly colorblind, that is 74 and the color of the car is orange.

[clearcutcasualty]

[world-heritage-posts]

world heritage post

[cranberrybogmummy]

It’s orange

[yumiiiiiii]

it’s literally 71

[jessbeinme15]

Bestie it’s 74

[yumiiiiiii]

[jessbeinme15]

[spacepaprika]

Y’all it clearly fucking says 21

[galvantual-moved-deactivated202]

where are you getting that from?

[rudolphsboyfriend]

Babes it’s 81 what r yall seeing

[vang0bus]

its 74 bestie you might be colorblind

[royal-random-the-yogurt-queen]

That 81 person can see shrimp colors

[astraltrickster]

I took exactly the same image, increased the saturation, and shifted it to a part of the spectrum most people can see better.

For all your no-YOU-have-the-weird-color-vision argument-solving needs.

Also, the car is orange.

[rubykgrant]

[vaultoffaggotry]

Posting this in case anyone is color blind and doesn’t know it lmao

[adamsmasher]

@cartoondog

[kiyomides]

I am one happy artist for being asked to draw this

[phantomrose96]

Cant have fucking shit in Detroit

[phantomrose96]

[phantomrose96]

Cant have shit

[phantomrose96]

Okay so door saga

The only way into my building is through the front door which locks itself when closed. There's a back entrance but it's deadbolted from the inside. This means the only people who can get into the building are me, my cat sitter with the spare keys, and the people living in the other two units.

The door to MY unit now... has no doorknob. Impossible to get in.

There is a shared BACK hallway that leads to the shared basement/back entrance. My back door into this hall is always deadbolted. EXCEPT, fortuitously, right now, since neighbor (Molly) in unit 2 had heard Patches meowing when alone and offered to spend some time with her, so I had the cat sitter unlock the bolt.

This, LUCKILY, means there is A Way into my unit. But it requires getting into the building, then going THROUGH my neighbors' unit into the back hall, then up to my unit.

Cat sitter is effectively locked out from Patches, and won't be able to get in if not fixed by the next day.

Text neighbor about predicament. They're willing to look at my door bUT (it's Christmas) they're not home and not getting home until the next day.

Next day, text for an update but hear nothing. (Neighbors aren't attached to their phones much). Communicate with catsitter saying "okay if I don't hear back from neighbors, maybe you go over and I contact a locksmith who you can let in?" (since cat sitter has the keys to the building)

Catsitter is very not keen on the idea

Patches is unaware she's a prisoner.

Hear back from neighbors. Say they should be home around 5pm.

Okay... Good Enough... (Patches graze-feeds so Luckily she hasn't missed any meals but we're going on 24 hours of house arrest Patches).

6pm comes. 7pm comes. 7:40pm I text asking for an update. Nothing.

8:30pm I'm figuring out what friends I can call to break into my own house. Text neighbor again and notice this text doesn't go through.

Text neighbor's partner being like "hey sorry, can't seem to reach Molly--". Get a text back "Sorry this is Molly on David's phone! My phone died." Family Christmas plans ran late but they're on their way back and will be home soon. Thank goodness.

9pm-ish, they get back, give Patches attention and top up her food. I get a text "David fixed your door!" Woo!

Friday 5pm I finally get home

Lugging my suitcase up three flights of stairs while I hear Patches meowing like a dying Victorian child

Shoes off coat off suitcase down fish out keys unlock door grab doorknob

...Doorknob falls off

Falls off right into my hands

Staring at doorknob. Staring at door. Patches meowing. Shove doorknob against door like an idiot and no it does not go back on.

Fucking

Go down flight of stairs, knock on Molly and David's door. David is luckily home. "My doorknob fell off again can I go home"

David lets me in. I scoot past their dogs and apparently I startled the more nervous one since she apparently tried to nip at me but I didn't even notice because I'm like my cat.

Get in through the back hall.

Patches comes bounding over.

My cat.

Doesn't even know she was a prisoner.

Doesn't even know what a doorknob is.

Later that night receive a text from neighbor apologizing for the dog and I'm like "I Did Not Even Notice."

Any attempt to leave my house now is perilous until I fix the doorknob.

Can't even leave my door cracked open because I know Patches is gonna shove her stupid little face through it and become the opposite of a prisoner.

I wanna go buy a reeces peanut butter cup but by god it's not worth the risk

I'm gonna try to fix the doorknob

Or... buy? a new doorknob?

On Amazon searching "doorknob".

Merry Christmas

[phantomrose96]

You are completely right because I have now investigated the knob and can confirm the screw holding the knob to bar was loose. I have tightened the screw and it SEEMS fixed but I’m very Fool Me Once on this since my neighbor also thought they’d fixed it.

There is a Home Depot trip in my future. Or maybe an online purchase if Patches would get off my laptop

[phantomrose96]

Merry Christmas I hope I know how to install a doorknob

[phantomrose96]

Complication. Doorknob is here and I tried to install it, but because my door is older than God, the latch-majig (technical term) is offset like an inch higher than the knob. Modern doorknob has the latch LEVEL with the knob.

To swap in the new knob I'd need to cut a new knob-hole an inch higher in the door which

With what tools

That would leave an unused gaping doorknob-sized hole in my door which any robber the size of a weasel or smaller will use to rob my home. I don't need fucking Redwall in my home.

Probably bad for the integrity of the door

I don't wanna.

I think what I really want is just the knob like above tags said. Like the knob and the rectangular bar, which I can substitute in for my stripped-bare knob and rectangle bar. I WOULD do this with the new knob, but it's got two welded-on spokes poking out from the knob.

I can maybe drill two holes for the spokes in my door...?

(Squinting at shitty amazon listings trying to see if any knobs don't have the two spokes)

(I think the two spokes might be standard.)

Developing new respect for Jesus (carpenter).

In the meantime, because I'd already unscrewed a lot of things I DID take the genius action of flipping my current doorknob around.

This way the side that causes problems is on the INSIDE.

Doorknob fall of while INSIDE house significantly better than doorknob fall off while OUTSIDE.

I'm retightening all the screws.

Patches has offered no solutions.

[phantomrose96]

So it does!

Never heard the term "spindle doorknob" before so I never would have found this on my own.

They're also all labeled "vintage" which extra feels right since my door predates the Cambrian Explosion.

Crowdsourcing my door fix on Tumblr dot com! Doorknob 2.0 is ordered.

[phantomrose96]

At least 4,000 but we still got time

[proudlyunicorn]

I wish lesbians were as easy to find in real life as they are on tumblr

[proudlyunicorn]

11 FUCKING THOUSAND NOTES ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WHERE ARE YOU ALL COME DATE ME

[gleerant]

ok

[gleerant]

update: we are dating

[gleerant]

update: we are married

[proudlyunicorn]

update: we knocked up

[strugglingqueer]

This is the cutest story on the entirety of Tumblr, I swear to god!!!!!

[gleerant]

Update: had a baby together

[gleerant]

Update: he’s 1 year old today

[gleerant]

Update: he’s 2 today

[proudlyunicorn]

Update: baby number two, electric boogaloo

[proudlyunicorn]

Update: guess who became a big brother yesterday?

[gleerant]

[movemequotes]

Once a little boy went to school. One morning The teacher said: “Today we are going to make a picture.” “Good!” thought the little boy. He liked to make all kinds; Lions and tigers, Chickens and cows, Trains and boats; And he took out his box of crayons And began to draw.

But the teacher said, “Wait!” “It is not time to begin!” And she waited until everyone looked ready. “Now,” said the teacher, “We are going to make flowers.” “Good!” thought the little boy, He liked to make beautiful ones With his pink and orange and blue crayons. But the teacher said “Wait!” “And I will show you how.” And it was red, with a green stem. “There,” said the teacher, “Now you may begin.”

The little boy looked at his teacher’s flower Then he looked at his own flower. He liked his flower better than the teacher’s But he did not say this. He just turned his paper over, And made a flower like the teacher’s. It was red, with a green stem.

On another day The teacher said: “Today we are going to make something with clay.” “Good!” thought the little boy; He liked clay. He could make all kinds of things with clay: Snakes and snowmen, Elephants and mice, Cars and trucks And he began to pull and pinch His ball of clay.

But the teacher said, “Wait!” “It is not time to begin!” And she waited until everyone looked ready. “Now,” said the teacher, “We are going to make a dish.” “Good!” thought the little boy, He liked to make dishes. And he began to make some That were all shapes and sizes.

But the teacher said “Wait!” “And I will show you how.” And she showed everyone how to make One deep dish. “There,” said the teacher, “Now you may begin.”

The little boy looked at the teacher’s dish; Then he looked at his own. He liked his better than the teacher’s But he did not say this. He just rolled his clay into a big ball again And made a dish like the teacher’s. It was a deep dish.

And pretty soon The little boy learned to wait, And to watch And to make things just like the teacher. And pretty soon He didn’t make things of his own anymore.

Then it happened That the little boy and his family Moved to another house, In another city, And the little boy Had to go to another school.

The teacher said: “Today we are going to make a picture.” “Good!” thought the little boy. And he waited for the teacher To tell what to do. But the teacher didn’t say anything. She just walked around the room.

When she came to the little boy She asked, “Don’t you want to make a picture?” “Yes,” said the little boy. “What are we going to make?” “I don’t know until you make it,” said the teacher. “How shall I make it?” asked the little boy. “Why, anyway you like,” said the teacher. “And any color?” asked the little boy. “Any color,” said the teacher. And he began to make a red flower with a green stem.

~Helen Buckley, The Little Boy

[lynati]

…

[bogleech]

I hate that I hesitated to reblog this just because I expect people to think it’s pretentious or melodramatic when it’s seriously real as fuck and I’ve witnessed it

[stellabat]

Fuck man

[ginkgocrown-old-blog]

I showed this post to my boyfriend and he tried to take his shirt off like a girl and 

uh

yeah

[castielsteenwolf]

Out of the 82k notes my post got this is by far the best comment holy shit thank u for being u

[wingscanspeak]

So i tried it both ways and uh

i mean how do you do the first one without pulling out all your hair?

[zorobro]

this made me laugh really hard….

and it made me realize that girls and boys pull their shirt off differently. /amazed

but seriously I think girls just do the cross arm thing because of HAIR like demonstrated 

[wingscanspeak]

So one year, one URL change, and a hair cut later, I decide to try again… FOR SCIENCE! 

Its not science unless you write it down so 

[30secondstocalifornia]

First method:

Well done, i guess…

Second:

I fucked up

Girls… how?

[ohshititsmama-deactivated201812]

I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW WE CAN HAVE SUCH DIFFERENT WAYS OF TAKING OFF SHIRTS AND SO MUCH DIFFICULTY DOING IT THE OTHER WAY

[iprayforangels-deactivated20220]

I FIGURED IT OUT!!!!!

It’s all in the way that girl/boys shirts are made.

Girls shirts have less armpit room then boy’s do and are generally shorter so pulling it off over your head is more practical because by lifting your arms all the way up you make enough room for the sleeves to just slip off.

Boys shirts have more room and are generally longer so it is easy to slip them off over your head.

but if you take a girls shirt off like a boys shirt you will get your arms caught because there isn’t much armpit space.

and if you take a boys shirt off like a girls shit you will still have your head in it when you’ve lifted your arms all the way up because of the shirt’s length.

It has nothing to do with us. It is entirely to do with how our shirts are made. I figured it out for you. YOU’RE WELCOME!

[prince-cake]

bless you

[wingscanspeak]

look what is back on my dash. Jesus.

[panicatthegym]

This came back but with ACTUAL SCIENCE you are the saviour of our generation

[rightplace-wrongtime]

I have no words

[zazzcrafting-deactivated2017061]

I seriously just needed this

[setbabiesonfire]

This deserves the 1 million+ notes it has.

[monitorchakas]

Literally tumblr broke from sll the science

[the-mango-ninja]

OK, there’s a lot of people who’ve seen way more stuff on here than I have, but that is NOT a normal glitched gif…

[eat-the-door-to-the-v0id-deacti]

wait wHat i got it too

[depressed-homosexual]

Y’all I can do it both ways really easily, and actually do the “girl” way more even though I wear guys shirts so idk

[suffer-my-beloved-mutuals]

WHAT WAS THE THIRD GIF? I GOT THE GLITCH? (TUMBLR LET ME SAVE THE GLITCH?)

TUMBLR WTF?

[magikmuze]

Sometimes I wonder about this website.

[world-heritage-posts]

world heritage post

[rainbow-dash-the-ultimate]

This fucking website people

[spiderrrling]

I am a(n):

⚪ Male

⚪ Female

🔘 Writer

Looking for

⚪ Boyfriend

⚪ Girlfriend

🔘 An incredibly specific word that I can’t remember

[what-even-is-thiss]

*wakes up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat*

WAIT IT’S CALLED A THROW PILLOW

[holorifle]

here is a super helpful website for this kinda thing!

the first result isn’t always the one you’re looking for but when you press enter it’ll give you a ton of words related to your query that’ll probably have what you’re wanting, or something better

here’s some examples:

[anchored-in-high-tide]

Reblog to save a writer’s sanity (the last bit that’s left)

[honeybeezgobzzzzz-deactivated20]

OneLook thesaurus is a lifesaver!