Jos olen juopunut ja raitis? @ananaskuuluupizzaan - Tumblr Blog

what is with popular kids and never returning your fucking pens

Okay so when I was delivering pizzas I developed a system for this because it was a real hassle not getting my pen back on credit card orders.

Keep the cap.

That’s it. It’s that simple. I had this whole thing where I’d covertly pop the cap as I was pulling the pen from my pocket so when I offered it they pulled the pen out from the cap, but that isn’t necessary. The point is just to keep the cap somehow.

Why? Every time I kept the cap, after they were done using it, they would instinctively go to put the cap back on, and the realization that they didn’t have one would break them out of the routine of putting a pen away and remind them that it isn’t their pen. The guy standing there holding a pen cap gets the pen.

Worked every time.

neutral7

prokopetz

When modern media wants a group of baddies to look badass, it’ll often borrow design elements from Nazi uniforms. It’s not hard to understand why; the Nazis famously had their uniforms designed by professional fashion designers, including runway mogul Hugo Boss, and it worked wonderfully in terms of giving Nazi troops a stylish and intimidating public image.

What’s less well known, however, is how ridiculously terrible those uniforms were for any purpose other than looking smart.

Let me give you an example: suspenders. Back in the 1930s, the modern tactical harness hadn’t yet been developed. Instead, soldiers would wear a sturdy pair of leather suspenders in order to help distribute the weight of their ammo belts (which could be substantial - bullets aren’t light!). Hitler didn’t care for that - he thought it would make his troops look like farmers. Instead, he commissioned his uniform designers to come up with a complicated system of internal suspenders that could be worn under the uniform jacket, with metal hooks projecting from special holes near the jacket’s waistline. The idea was that the ammo belt would rest on the hooks, thus allowing it to be supported without disrupting the jacket’s clean lines.

The problem? The system’s designers, being accustomed to crafting for the runway, had completely overlooked that soldiers sometimes need to move quickly. At any pace quicker than a brisk walk, the ammo belt would bounce off of the hooks and slide down the wearer’s torso, often tripping him in the process. Worse, news of the issue didn’t filter back to the high command until the uniforms had already been widely distributed, so it was impossible to fix in an economical fashion. The Nazi troops eventually resorted to wearing external suspenders over the internal suspenders in order to keep their ammo belts in place, thus entirely defeating the purpose.

Then there are the cold-weather jackets, made infamous by the Nazis’ disastrous Winter Campaign against Russia in 1941-1942. At the time, the standard cold-weather jacket in use by most armies consisted of heavy quilted fabric stuffed with torn-up cotton. Hitler didn’t like that at all; in his opinion, it made it look like his troops were wearing blankets. So he had each soldier issued an individually tailored winter jacket made of suit-grade fabric and lined with fur (sourced from civilian clothing seized from death camp inmates, because of course it was).

You can probably guess where this is going. Predictably to anyone who’s not a Nazi fashion designer, the fine fabric of the jackets wasn’t tightly woven enough to stop the wind. The fur, meanwhile, harboured lice and fleas, stank abominably when wet, and was impossible to launder in the field. They’d managed to issue their troops dry clean only winter apparel, in a campaign that would send them far from their supply lines. That the weather ended up killing more Nazis than the Russian army should thus come as no surprise.

And these aren’t outliers. Virtually every element of the Nazi uniform made up for its smart styling by being ridiculously impractical. The officers often had it worst of all; their uniforms were expertly tailored to make their builds look trim and powerful, at the cost of being stuffy, uncomfortable, and difficult to move around it. Indeed, some officers’ uniforms were so smartly tailored that they couldn’t sit down without taking their pants off. Yeah, let that image roll around in your head for a moment or two.

The upshot is that whenever I see baddies in a movie or a TV show with clearly Nazi-inspired uniforms, my first thought is less “whoa, badass!” and more “these men are about to be murdered by their own trousers”.

jewish-privilege

There is some deeply undignified part of my soul that is taking deep and abiding comfort in this.

the-bright-path-deactivated2021

Lesbian!

cherishedfem

norma is her real name, and she was absolutely bisexual or a lesbian. she had affairs with several female actresses as well as her famous affair with her acting coach. there were actresses who wouldn't work with her because she was almost intimidatingly forward in her affections for women and it made them uncomfortable. here are some photos of her with women she had affairs with, and a couple that i think really capture the joy and beauty that woman possessed. i love you norma jeane!!

tiktoks-for-dead-pope

annagetsthefabulousbabes

It's not that I wouldn't follow a dog into the woods to go on an adventure it's just that I think this is the sort of trail that leads to being on a true crime podcast.

aphrobites

you know what if i die i die i’m FOLLOWING THE DOG THROUGH THE PLANT ARCHWAY

wind-on-the-panes-deactivated20

Ha, our family did that. The hotel we were staying at the beach village for vacations had a dog - meaning, the dog lived there and was called for, but was free. And once we decided all to wander around the dunes and bush trails, and the dog guided is through, even showing us holes in fences we could get through.

The lesson is: local free-roaming dogs know the way, they're intelligent, and they won't guide you to danger.

To fae, perhaps, but at least you'll arrive in good terms.

one-time-i-dreamt

jellybeanium124

You’re 42???? I thought you were 22???? drop the skincare routine, honey!!!

one-time-i-dreamt

You know, people always tell me that I have the skin of somebody in their twenties :)

hiveswap

Whose skin was it before you had it?

one-time-i-dreamt

ampervadasz

Unmute !

nunyabizni

The Aussies have a thing or two to learn it would seem.

luxshine

I’ve never seen an Ostrich look SO offended in my life.

marlynnofmany

Let’s hear it for unorthodox animal handling skills!

The ostrich is either so offended that it just can’t stand it, or it’s so confused that this other ostrich thing has gone and shapeshifted on it.

sabertoothwalrus

I don’t think we appreciate how much Howl’s jacket being casually draped over his shoulders contributes to his Vibe™. Can you imagine how different his whole aesthetic would be if his Jacket was buttoned all the way up

that’s like an entirely different genre of gnc wizard

sabertoothwalrus

this version of howl would naruto run

lastvalyrian

People are always talking about making John Green say “I love cocks” when it comes to having fun with tumblr’s ability to edit everyone’s posts but that one post where that person was saying fuckers and it got repeatedly edited to fudgers and meaners was 10000% funnier

cosmic-aria

This one?:

goldturnedgray

#none of this reaches the level of one time when staff made a post about a website update #and someone deleted the whole post and instead wrote #Were Deleting This Website Sayonara You Weeaboo Shits #i think about that literally every day its been ten years #every night i think to myself Sayonara you weeaboo shits (@cryptovocel)

katco-cereal

1-800-blurambles

here u go

vermillion-tones

choclay ornage is also pretty high up there

etherealnoir

The Tea for people who didn’t watch the Megan and Harry Interview:

-Meg and Harry weren’t paid for this interview. They probably used it to promote Archwell a bit more, and to clear the air in ways they haven’t been able to.

-Kate Middleton made Meg cry during the week of her wedding, and when a story came out that Meg made KATE cry, Kate made no moves or requests to clarify the truth.

-The entire RBF was welcoming towards Meg UNTIL she toured Australia with Harry and they saw how much people liked her (a la Diana when she went with Charles) more than the rest of the family. Harry didn’t outright say that they got jealous, but he said that the past was repeating itself.

-After the Aussie tour, she announced she was pregnant and the RBF suddenly decided that her child couldn’t have a title or security detail. And she knew why but wouldn’t outright say.

-They spun it to make it seem like it was Harry and Meg’s decision because they wanted Archie to have a “normal life,” but Meg clarified that titles aren’t something they can decide on.

-Harry confirmed that he had a convo with “someone” who had concerns about what their children would look like (Meg implied they didn’t want the baby to look “too dark”). But he wouldn’t say who it was or what they said exactly. Which hints that it was a lot worse than that probably.

-They planned on moving to a commonwealth so they could be out of the UK but still work with the family. But then they took Harry’s security detail away after they moved and claimed it was because of their change in status.

-They cut Harry off financially and they only had the ability to move because of his inheritance from Di. He said that she probably knew some shit would go down.

-When Archie was born, they were told not to take photos on the stairs of the hospital like everyone else did. It was spun to make it look like they didn’t want to. But the way they were attacking her and Archie before he was even born, it might’ve been for the best.

-They have the Netflix and Spotify deals because they need to make money somehow. Before they officially left, the RBF said Meg would have to go back to acting because they couldn’t afford to take care of her.

-Harry doesn’t talk to William and Charles, but he and Meg still regularly talk to Elizabeth.

-Meg had a serious mental health crisis while living in the UK. She requested help numerous times and asked to be hospitalized for suicidal ideation, and they refused to help her.

-Harry admitted that he was “ashamed” to ask his family to help Meg, because mental health issues were just things they didn’t discuss (which Oprah, rightfully, side eyed him for)

-Harry and Megan admit that if they had more support, they probably would’ve stayed in the UK.

-They’re having a baby girl in the summer.

In conclusion, the Windsors suck, none of them are seeing heaven, and this is why William aged like sour milk.

glossylalia

What’s missing here is that Tyler Perry gave them a safe house and security to live in when they got to America.

noahnomore

shiftythrifting

I almost bought this ominous box.

kaylapocalypse-deactivated20201

“And your curse is to be what you already are” is the most threatening thing I’ve heard all week

loopygifz

nonbinary-bosmer

Chicxulub Impact, 65 Million BC

skankplisskenmoved

men took my little pony away from us girls so us teen girls are takin pro wrestling fuck yall just try n stop us

coralbluebirdtiger-deactivated2

have fun fetishizing the shit out of *real life* celebrities. it actually makes the people who sexualize the shit out of children’s cartoons seem normal.

rideitslut

did you just imply being attracted to actual real human males isn’t normal but wanting to fuck cartoon horses is

sabubu91

I need to reblog this again because it still makes me laugh

attackboss6

TEN HIT COMBO

cisarovna

archaeo-geek

I’ve read that Agatha said she loved being married to an archaeologist because the older she got, the more interesting he found her. And I think that is one of the best quotes about love that I have ever heard.