"AND I'M...*giggles* I don't know!"

just a tired millennial pretending i know what i'm doing

[nochurnal]

scribbles but upgraded

lucifer "i'll make him worse" morningstar vs "He's MY king" alastor

[gattodemone]

WHY NOT!?😂🫵🏻

#Alastor #luciferhazbinhotel #hazbinhotel #radioapple #appleradio

[primarybufferpanel]

I love a highly specific pet advert

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Gomez and Morticia Addams got divorced. I woke up mortified and with a sense of inexplicable dread.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

[penrosesun]

[weaselle]

you literally don’t need any other plot and i would watch the movie

[random-chaos-thoughts]

Every 'normal' adult is fussing around Pugsley and Wednesday because "poor children that must be so hard for you to see mom and dad break up like this"

But the kid are absolutely unfazed, arguing that "it's alright they will be together again soon". The normie are so sad for the "children clinging to vain hopes" until Morticia and Gomez get married again two weeks after the divorce.

In the meantime Mama and Uncle Fester fight about which one of them will go to whose custody.

They pretend to argue in court and at meeting with lawyers over the splitting of the properties but that's mostly Gomez insisting to leave more and more thing to his wife in an angry voice.

At home they decided not to talk to each other so Lurch has to (begrudgingly) transmit messages from one to the other, even when they are sat on either side of the table.

That works (more or less) then Morticia says one word in french and Gomez run to cover her with kisses until Morticia remind him that they are spliting (that's the only moment he seems to regret the whole thing)

[yeomanstuff]

This. All of this.

[6qubed]

Wednesday offers to help with split custody of Pugsley. her suggestion involved a big table saw

[swimmingblue]

They fight over who gets to hire the expensive big-firm lawyer and who gets to hire the up-and-coming rookie divorce lawyer. It's a whole Thing.

[ladyartemisia28]

The up and coming lawyer is Thing?

[aethersea]

Thing wins the case

[amultitudeofyellowrodents]

it's actually started because Thing just passed the bar exam and no one will hire Thing

[muttmutttgoose]

Thing is dressed as elle woods

[aahsokaatano]

Hey I think I finally found the most broken Tumblr ad. It took me longer to scroll past this than the original "do you love the color of the sky" post.

Do you love the color of the beige, vaguely Christian Tumblr ad

[bryanchuckbrennan]

When I tell you I snorted!

legolas:

gimli:

aragorn:

gandalf:

[anais-ninja-bitch]

BLEASE

Gollum

[english-history-trip]

Eomer:

Boromir:

Elrond:

[english-history-trip]

[lioness--hart]

This post is like getting pelted with marshmallows shot out of a tennis ball launcher

[abashurd]

[lemonbellflower]

im sorry @fvriva but your tags were too good to leave them there

[pippinoftheshire]

LMFAO

[cisarovna]

[archaeo-geek]

I’ve read that Agatha said she loved being married to an archaeologist because the older she got, the more interesting he found her. And I think that is one of the best quotes about love that I have ever heard.

[dirtyriver]

[explorerrowan]

[homunculus-argument]

Random old finnish folklore I recall reading: The reason you have to close someone's eyes after they die, or cover their eyes with a cloth if you can't, is because the spirit of the newly passed is still in the body and even though it can't move the eyes anymore, it can still see. You must avoid making eye contact with the dead body, because the soul of the newly dead is scared to go alone, and is looking for someone to come with them. If you lock eyes with the corpse, you will be the next to die.

[audriuska12]

...So is the second corpse still hazardous, then, or are they fine since they have the first one for company?

[homunculus-argument]

I must confess I don't really know about the more exact details of the undead buddy system.

[guerrillatech]

[segamascott]

like to charge reblog to cast obviously

[guttertongue]

Silksong : Bloodborne. Doodles from today's stream. I think Hornet would heckin' love trick weapons.

[theprofessional-amateur]

For no reason here is a library story

[theprofessional-amateur]

There will be millions of actions like this over the coming years. An important thing to remember is that for them to work (anywhere, not just libraries) is people absolutely can’t announce that this is what they are doing.

Not seeing constant acts of resistance doesn’t mean it isn’t happening all around you all the time. Some very effective methods require silence and secrecy.

Something to keep in mind.

[stinson-png-deactivated20210103]

“Girls want a Superman, but they walk past a Clark Kent every day”

You fuckin CLOWNS think you’re a CLARK KENT? Not on my fuckin watch. You dumb, headass motherfuckers are barely a Guy Gardner and you think you’re a CLARK KENT? The amount of disrespect is unreal.

[bairnsidhe]

Listen here, wannabes: My boi Clark is 240 lbs of PURE KANSAS BEEF trained from a young age by Ma Kent to Love and Respect women as the Intelligent, Independent beings they are.  He is shy rambling about tractors and casually moving the copy machine when my pen falls behind it and he would NEVER demand I be sexually or romantically interested just because he’s nice.

Y’all ain’t Clark Kent.

[chaosinacoffeecup]

I have never hit the reblog button so damn fast.

[therobotmonster]

“barely a Guy Gardner” is the sickest comics related burn I’ve heard to date. 

[stardustfanfare-archived]

the tragedy of tumblr is you will inevitably meet people who you should be having a sleepover with. you should be rolling around on their floor and rummaging through their fridge and watching shitty movies with. you should be shopping with should be going out to a cafe with should be wandering through the aquarium with. people who you should be experiencing quotidian joys with... and you cannot! because they live one million miles away

[bringmethepeculiar]

Thinking about humans and aliens. Too hard.

Imagine an alien species that evolved to be semi-aquatic watching humans (a species evolved to climb and run on land) jump eagerly into the water to swim with them. No safety equipment, no flotation devices, just a thin modesty suit and sheer glee.

And humans, by the alien’s standards, are terrible at swimming. Just…truly awful. They can’t hold their breath for long, their bones and muscles are dense, their lungs make them too buoyant, their hair creates drag, their gangly limbs are slow and clumsy, and they can’t open their eyes underwater because the water will hurt them.

And yet the human laughs and splashes with their alien friend and alien can’t help but marvel as the human seems to adapt in real time right in front of their eyes.

The human streamlines themself to glide through the water as best they can, trying their best to turn their grasping hands into paddles, their feet into flippers. The human watches and copies how the alien moves and mimics them, learns and copies them until they move almost gracefully.

Often, they break away from these learned skills and become a land mammal flailing in the water again, but something about the human willingly defying their nature, learning to be more than they are in a bid for connection with another species, makes the alien light up with something that feels an awful lot like fondness.

[memeuplift]

[alkersch]

You're giving her 2 hours of free babysitting every week! This is what it means when we say, "it takes a village".

[somecunttookmyurl]

i can tell i’m sleep deprived bc i just made myself cry about tutankhamun and i have, like, negative interest in the kid

[somecunttookmyurl]

have now made the rest of the discord cry about this little boy who had multi-coloured ducks sewn onto a tunic that he loved so much he wore it to a Very Important Event because he was EIGHT and have you SEEN my DUCKS

[somecunttookmyurl]

sorry no i’m not done i’m gonna make you all cry some more i’m bringing you down with me

there was once a little boy.

he is born disabled. his body hurts, and he can’t walk properly the way the other children do. he doesn’t understand why. he’s a little boy. but he plays with wooden boats and pulls toys on a string.

somebody makes him a tunic. they sew ducks onto it in red and green and yellow and blue. the bright colours of a child.

the little boy is eight years old, and he’s going to be king now. there’s a big ceremony about it. he doesn’t really fully understand what’s going on, because he’s eight, but he wears the tunic with the brightly coloured ducks for the occasion because he loves it. look at his ducks! aren’t they great?

he is a child. the adults around him manipulate and coax him to gain more power for themselves. he still plays with toys.

as a teenager, not yet an adult, he fathers children. they do not survive. he’s not even old enough to have full agency in his job and is still being manipulated, but he had babies and they died.

he does not make it to his twenties. at eighteen or nineteen years old he dies, and is buried. his babies, so tiny, are buried with him.

and so is his tunic with the little ducks that he loved so much he kept it long after it no longer fit.

there was once a little boy.

[somecunttookmyurl]

yeah i think that like. especially with historical figures in your mind people who were kings and queens or important nobles were adults. even if you know how old they were it doesn’t really click. it doesn’t seem real

but then you get something like a little tunic with brightly coloured ducks on it and it hits you like a fucking truck that this really was a little kid and no matter how far removed you are a little kid is still a little kid. their brains didn’t develop any quicker back then. he was just as developed/mature mentally as any 8 year old now. he had cartoonish animals on his clothes and he played with toy boats and probably terrorised the local cat population.

tutankhamun was a child and he didn’t make it to adulthood because he was unfortunate enough to be a very important child

his dad died when he was 8. he saw his own babies die when he was still just a boy himself.

but he had brightly coloured little ducks on his favourite shirt, and he kept it.

[somecunttookmyurl]

and he did not just keep the duckie shirt either

tutankhamun had a little pair of sandals with ducks on them. he had earrings decorated with ducks. he kept those, and other items of childhood clothing. some toys. keepsakes. things he loved, and treasured. he kept them all in a little wooden chest. the chest… was carved with ducks.

and that little duck chest, filled with things he kept from his childhood, was buried with him. maybe he was keeping them for the little babies who did not make it. maybe they just reminded him of good days and fun times.

but he was a little boy who thought ducks were just the best

[somecunttookmyurl]

WITH PLEASURE

(greyscale makes it hard but the duck head is on the right above the toe strap. always takes me a while to find it too)

[beggars-opera]

[libriamore]

Ok but this is how to teach history. This is how you get people to pay attention, to care. Find something small and make it personal, then zoom out to the wider context. History is best taught as a story, with people who lived their lives in ways that came together to create something remarkable that we still talk about today, but who were still just human at the end of the day. They kissed, argued, cried, and dreamed just like we do. And sometimes they really liked ducks.

[nat-20s]

i think the single most unrealistic part of superman 2025 was when it was announced that superman's kryptonian parents told him to have a harem and it was exclusively met with fear and disgust. I KNOW there would've been at least five dedicated subreddits that would have thousands being like HOW TO GET INTO SUPERMAN'S HAREM PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ONE SHOT BIG BLUE THAT'S ALL I'M ASKING

[i-guess-im-into-this-now]

And then there would be people on Tumblr who also want to be in Superman's harem, but the difference is that they would be trying to get Superman pregnant.

[daughterofscotland]

This is what I saw when I first opened this website this morning. I love this website.

Tags by @oneiriad