poopy uwu

|asstree| |she/her/them| |artist kinda| |dark ass sense of humor| |really fuckin stupid|

[k009]

[thefreshprinceofevangelion]

this gets funnier every year 

[itstooch]

The year is 2042. Your daughter is awkwardly silent as she eats her dinner. “Something wrong sweetie?” She sighs and puts down her fork. “I was digging really deep in AO3 last night…Why didn’t you finish that coffee shop au?” It happened. Your past has come back to haunt you. Nay, it never truly left.

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

U CANNOT OUTRUN UR CRIME

[leafquake23-deactivated20191022]

OKAY BUT WAIT. This has happened to me. Recently. Because I am old and I have things out there from previous fandoms with previous pseuds and one day my teenager begins a rant at me about people never finishing any WIPs on the pit of voles (which he does not call the pit of voles because he has No Knowledge of such a thing but yet he still reads on which I didn’t think anyone did any longer) and he points out an example to me of something I WROTE AND LEFT WIPing for ages and he has NO IDEA #1 that his mom wrote this and #2 How much it still haunts me to this day that it will. sit. there. for. eternity. because I am too lazy to pull it down.

[sadieb798]

oh my god

[azriona]

#why didn’t you finish cleaning your room?#IDK MOM WHY DIDN’T YOU FINISH THE RON/DRACO MERMAID AU? 

( @mrv3000 )

[theklynnsmith]

[cryptid-stimming]

x

[hopeysl-deactivated20201028]

Ah but to be a waterdrop with googly eyes

[sonneillonv-deactivated20220218]

This is how slimes and oozes should be animated

[kabaks]

[octopustronaut]

There’s an update 😊

[kabaks]

[dankmemeuniversity]

[cabeswater-and-camaros]

hozier’s accidental rant on his instagram story about badgers being “black and grey pig creatures who come out and night and would absolutely break the leg of ya” and how badgers are “hobbit motherfuckers.” is the highlight of my week

[nocontextveggies]

[cappucino-commie]

#the clap of their asscheeks is gonna alert jericho

You can't just hide that in the tags omg

[kaeceylany-deactivated20140331]

[kndall-deactivated20150220]

when shots are fired but you have a good comeback

[paragonpostcards]

did he just airbend?

[deadlifting-demigod-deactivated]

His teammate suddenly collapses in pure awe

[b-ak3d]

yooo

[aangarchy]

Pretty sure that’s the avatar

[sokkable]

fick he cool

[heartamantium]

when you forget to read the tags on a fanfic:

[loymain]

“friends to lovers, cuddles, established relationship,”

“vore,”

[guruofawesomeness-blog]

I just wheezed so hard I have a headache now so thanks for that

[yangs-vibrating-arm]

i snorted so badly fuck

[sizvideos]

[perissologist]

THIS TURNED OUT SO MUCH BETTER THAN EXPECTED

[lord-palmerston]

you missed the best bit

[kromioved]

CURSED EMOJI MASTERPOST

i noticed these things are REALLY hard to find on the internet, so i decided to make it a little easier. if i’m missing any, feel free to add on! please.

[meow-moment]

May i add:

[teathattast]

[chaoticautie]

me: *saying "WHAT?" seven times to someone giving me coherent face-to-face verbal directions*

also me: *hears a faint noise and randomly lifts head like a deer* hey did u guys hear that??? wtf how could you not hear it-

[nexya]

I love how humans have literally not changed throughout history like the graffiti from Pompeii has people from hundreds of years ago writing stuff like “Marcus is gay” “I fucked a girl here” “Julius your mum wishes she was with me” and leonardo da vinci’s assistants drew dicks in their notebooks just for the banter and mozart created a piece called “kiss my ass” so when people wish for ‘today’s generation’ to be like ‘how people used to’ then we’re already there buddy we’ve always been

[charlesoberonn]

The Hagia Sophia has inscriptions that were considered sacred for centuries until they were deciphered in the 70s to be Nordic runes saying “Halfdan wrote this”

[terminallydepraved]

my old english prof told us that theres a cave in Scandinavia where a viking gratified some runes like 14 feet up on the wall and when they finally reached it all it translated into was “this is very high”

[loremerchant]

Ancient Shitposting

Now on the History Channel

[self-critical-automaton]

‘People have literally just always been people’ is genuinely my favorite fact about the world

[skaletal-deactivated20190721]

“Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book.” - Marcus Tullius Cicero, 106 BC - 43 BC

[super-star-destroyer]

Common dog names have literally not changed in 3,000 years.

[ash-soka]

so not nearly as old but, this is a 12th century stave church in lom, norway (one of less than 40 left in the world)

it’s hard to see, but in the top left corner of this photo where the light comes in from the window, there’s a runic inscription

these photos show it more clearly, it’s easier to see in person. so of course one of the people i was travelling with asked what it said, and we were told it basically translates to:

“on this day, I climbed to this point, in the corner of the church”

people really have always been people

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

the truest ADHD ally of our time was my professor who during a field exam handed me a newt and told me to hold it and I was like “what do you want me to do with this” thinking it was for the test and he shrugged and said “it’s just to keep ya busy”

[lemoneychicken]

one time in math class the kid next to me basically said that ppl with adhd wouldnt be able to pass the class because theyre idiots. i didnt want to get involved so i just kinda shrunk into my seat.

my teacher immidiately went to the students desk, looked him dead in the eyes and said “i have adhd.” 

he then proceeded to very shortly lecture about how people with adhd are not idiots, and students with it will still be able to succeed in his class.

[mllemusketeer]

Mentors with ADHD are the best, they get how your brain works and usually the two of you get up to the same type of shit so they’re great at showing you how to dig yourself out of it too

[unclefather]

*opens a new incognito tab to ask a really dumb question that i don’t want in my search history*

[unclefather]

“is stuart little a real person” 

[puthy]

Dom bottom:

[elreyputo]

Her pussy lips fat

[gingersofficial]

[quinintheclouds]

Y'all have,,, NO idea how much I want a pizza rn. It is taking all of my willpower to save my money and not order one this instant to celebrate getting stuff done today

[quinintheclouds]

late-stage capitalism is i want pizza but congress won’t buy me one

wait I haven’t tried

I’m gonna call my congressman and see

[quinintheclouds]

Hmm… Ted Cruz isn’t answering. Still a coward, I see,

[quinintheclouds]

I’m gonna ask my governor now and tell him Cruz said it was out of his jurisdiction so he’ll feel all important. dude sued the city and is richer than god he can afford a pizza

[quinintheclouds]

HDGJDFHGJ SOMEONE PICKED UP,,, this is how it went:

Me: Hello, I would like to request an audience with Governor Abbott

Secretary: I’m sorry. I can relay a message and have him get back to you in a call or email.

Me: Okay, thanks! Due to some recent changes and current economic disparity in Texas, I’ve calculated that Gov. Abbott makes enough a year to buy over 10,000 pizzas, for example. As a display of his claims to make efforts towards rebuilding the middle class, all I ask is that he buy me one single pizza. 

Secretary: *incredulous laugh/scoff noise*

Me: That’s less than 0.0001% of his salary, not even taking his enormous wealth into consideration, and will affect my voting decision next election cycle. My paypal is https://www.paypal.me/quinintheclouds 

Secretary: …I’ll let him know.

Secretary: *Hangs up*

[quinintheclouds]

None of them bought me a pizza. Guess you could say they crust my dreams :((

[quinintheclouds]

pLOT TWIST THE SECRETARY SENT ME $15 FOR MAKING HER LAUGH AND CAUSE SHE HATES WORKING THERE,,, THE SUBJECT LINE SAID POLITICAL PIZZA

[crowleyisourking]

I scrolled away but had to come back and reblog.

[southbreak]

This is amazing

[hasnoname1982]

As a person who freaks out about talking to my own family members, I am in awe of the fact that you actually did this

[quinintheclouds]

me too, but consider: I was really hungry

[hellllrazor]

“Hmm… Ted Cruz isn’t answering. Still a coward, I see,” is the most powerful thing I’ve ever read.

[ass-tree]

JEJSJSHHSHJSJSH

[sinnerbird]

im going to start a thread of pokemon drawn to the sizes of the things theyre based on

here, i’ll start 

[sinnerbird]

also this thread is open to anyone

[sinnerbird]

[very-salty-popcorn]

A very small boi enters

[5radchan]

@alpha-bread

[alpha-bread]

!!!!! This is Zangoose she’s pointy and I love her

[pettyartist]

I chose the littlest ones cause the BIG ones were always tadpoles and the little ones were always poliwogs.

[kuro--sawa]

A pocket sized boy

[charlesoberonn]