shagun

bless this mess

[au-reveur]

An interesting sign of character growth is when you get a different house on your pottermore quiz than the one from your middle school days

[au-reveur]

cracked up at this tag ngl

[mousidy]

I'm seeing a lot of people saying agab language should be used in medical contexts, and let me be clear:

"amab" and "afab" are not euphemisms for "male" and "female." not even a doctor should be using "afab" as shorthand for "has a vulva, uterus, high estrogen levels, low testosterone levels, etc," because HRT EXISTS! gender affirming surgeries exist! intersex people exist! you can be afab and change, remove, or not even have been born with any of the above features!!

you cannot use "amab" and "afab" as a shorthand for "has this or that set of features!"

it's not about using progressive language, it's about accurately accounting for people who exist outside the sex binary. those of us who do are under-studied, and the medical system is poorly equipped to handle us, often lumping us in with our agabs and failing to account for how our bodies actually work. this is a PROBLEM that cannot be papered over by finding new euphemisms for "male" and "female"

the BINARY is the problem, not the language

[mousidy]

just today I went to urgent care for acute genital pain, and a nurse asked me my assigned sex at birth in an attempt to ask what kind of genitalia I had. I answered by instead telling her the relevant body part where the pain was, and she took that as a response. had I actually answered with my agab, would she just have presumed I hadn't had bottom surgery? why not just ask about the actual body part instead??

[clockedtomb]

I worked as a health system administrator whose job was to reduce barriers to care for trans people and literally this.

We had a web system where people were basically automatically triaged for certain conditions and when I was hired there was a question for UTI symptoms that asked are you a man or a woman, routing women to same-day nurse practitioner appointments (because they usually had uncomplicated UTIs) and men to physicians (because they usually had STIs, and if they DID have UTIs they were more medically complex) but this meant that trans people were getting sorted wrong. A committee of me, a doctor, one or two nurses, and another administrator sat down and talked through what that sorting logic actually needed to do, what the risks were of sorting wrong, and what language would be acceptable.

We did not need to know their gender, their sex assigned at birth, their transition history, any of that. What we needed to know is how long their urethra is, because a short urethra means the likeliest situation is an uncomplicated UTI where the top priority is getting antibiotics into them as fast as possible to prevent kidney involvement, and a long urethra means the likeliest situation (in our clinical population) is an STI, but if it IS a UTI kidney involvement may already be a factor, so either way they need a doctor. The language we came up with was "do you have a penis?"

We were worried that people would be offended by this question but we could not think of a better approach so we decided to just try "do you have a penis?" and see if anyone complained. They did not.

[wanderingcoasties]

“The LEGO Movie was my favorite movie of 2014, but it strikes me that the main character was male, because I feel like in our current culture, he HAD to be. The whole point of Emmett is that he’s the most boring average person in the world. It’s impossible to imagine a female character playing that role, because according to our pop culture, if she’s female she’s already SOMEthing, because she’s not male. The baseline is male. The average person is male. You can see this all over but it’s weirdly prevalent in children’s entertainment. Why are almost all of the muppets dudes, except for Miss Piggy, who’s a parody of femininity? Why do all of the Despicable Me minions, genderless blobs, have boy names? I love the story (which I read on Wikipedia) that when the director of The Brave Little Toaster cast a woman to play the toaster, one of the guys on the crew was so mad he stormed out of the room. Because he thought the toaster was a man. A TOASTER. The character is a toaster. I try to think about that when writing new characters— is there anything inherently gendered about what this character is doing? Or is it a toaster?”

— Bojack Horseman creator Raphael Bob-Waksberg commenting on how weird gendered defaults in entertainment are, and why we should think twice about them. Excerpted from this longer original post. (via 360degreesasthecrowflies)

[fforsythiaaa]

Once when I was in undergrad, someone described something as “problematic” in class and our professor was like, “That’s cool, but ‘problematic’ doesn’t really mean anything. It means that the thing you’re describing has a problem, and in and of itself that’s not bad. Art, especially, should always have problems, or else it’s not interesting and not art, either. It sounds like you’re trying to say that this is bad, but you don’t want to say ‘bad.’ Is that right?”

So from then on whenever one of us called something problematic, he would make us talk it out until we could name the “bad” thing we were hinting at. In this particular class, 7/10 it was some type of oppression, and the remainder was like, “I’m uncomfortable because this is very new/confusing/pushing boundaries that made me feel safe.”

Once we stopped calling things “problematic” and stopping at that, class got way more interesting and... we all had to say, like, “that’s racist” or “that’s misogynistic” or “ew capitalism gross” out loud, which a lot of us had never done in a classroom before. Or we had to be like, “Uhhh... I’m not sure what’s so bad?” and confront our own beliefs and that was maybe even more useful.

Anyway. Whenever I see the word problematic, I can’t help but think of this professor being like, “Good starting point, now let’s get specific.” I think when we have to commit to saying “that’s ___” it requires a lot more careful thought about the truth and impact and complexities of whatever we’re claiming. Sometimes there really is some bullshit afoot, and also sometimes it’s art, and it should be full of problems, because that’s what art is.

[frogdisco2021]

If Kata.ang was a concept that the creators were confident in then they wouldn't have to nuke and retcon the canonical very close friendship of Katara and Zuko, but they do because they fear the interpersonal chemistry of these characters so much that they have to pretend like they weren't canonically very close to each other and shared a deep emotional bond.

Like people will ask why Zutara has to be romantic when platonic relationships are just as significant and yeah, you're right, I would be less pissed if they had let Katara and Zuko remain the best friends that they are by the end of the series, the problem is that they don't even let Katara and Zuko stay friends, because it's pretty undeniable which of them was the better friend to Katara and had a more mutualistic and choice-based relationship with her.

If romantic Kata.ang could survive being juxtaposed by platonic Zutara (the friendship they had in the show that they then ruined and acted like didn't exist in the comics and movie) then they wouldn't need to keep them ten feet apart at all times and pretend like they never had a significant emotional bond in the post-series materials.

If Katara having Zuko as her best friend or very close friend creates too much tension and confusion because people might continue to get the vibe that they're in love with each other, maybe there's a reason people keep coming to that conclusion. It's not necessarily that Katara and Zuko have better romantic chemistry than Katara and A.ang do, it's that Katara and Zuko have better platonic chemistry than Katara and A.ang do, and platonic chemistry is what romantic chemistry is built off of.

The fact that Katara and A.ang are friends for longer is not a replacement for chemistry between them. Fundamentally, they became friends because Katara feels a sense of duty and obligation to nurture and raise him so that he can become a fully realized Avatar and end the war, and Aan.g formed an attachment to Katara as the first person he saw when he woke up from the ice like a duckling imprinting on the first living being it sees and idolized her for being in a caretaker role over him. I don't hate their friendship, I think it actually had a lot of room to drive the positive development of both characters, just not in ways that would have ended up with them together romantically. Maybe I'll make a post on that and how I'd fix ATLA in my own image idk.

Zuko and Katara are friends entirely by choice. Zuko worked to earn back her trust and friendship, not because he needed her friendship but because he wanted it, and Katara forgave him not because she had a sense of duty or obligation to him but because she wanted to. It doesn't matter that they were friends for less time because Zuko shows more respect for Katara's agency, gives her darker emotions the significance they deserve, and shows her more emotional support in 8 episodes than Aa.ng does in 3 seasons.

[frogdisco2021]

The people who are most obsessed with strict adherence to canon when it comes to shipping are also the same people who tend to completely disregard the canon dynamics of the characters as they are shown to us, in favor of their own opinions on how the characters would interact and what their hypothetical relationships would be like. Which is weird for people who are so obsessed with canon but then deny actual canon events and make up their own when the show's endgame pairs are criticized for being badly written.

Claim: Katara and Zuko would constantly be at each other's throats and fighting.

Canon: When Katara is mad at Zuko, he lets her be mad at him and doesn't argue back or escalate. He lets her insult him and tell him he looks terrible (as someone who is very insecure about his appearance for obvious reasons), lets her tell him he's terrible at firebending, and in general demonstrates that he's a very safe person to be mad at.

She is the only person he does not raise his voice at or snap at when saying or doing something that irritates him. He raises his voice or snaps at Aan.g, Sokka, and even Toph in one instance for lesser offenses than the times Katara deliberately picks on him. She threatens to murder him and his reaction is just :D -> :c from when he first sees her in his doorway to when he realizes she's mad at him. After she forgives him, we do not see them argue.

The one time they could be said to "argue" it's incredibly brief, impersonal, and resolved immediately upon the misunderstanding being cleared up, literally like two lines of dialogue.

"What's wrong with you?! You could've hurt Aa.ng!"

"What's wrong with me?! What's wrong with all of you?! You're sitting around having beach parties when Sozin's Comet is only three days away!"

(Also note to the "she wants to kill him crowd" that he gave her the exact reason she needed to follow through on the threat to kill him, i.e. "Give me one reason to think you might hurt A.ang...." but all she does is scold him for risking hurting their precious baby boy mutual friend and demands an explanation.)

Claim: A.ang would be the mediator in their relationship and constantly defusing their fights

Canon: The only time anything like this happens, it is Zuko who defuses an argument between Katara and A.ang. Or, in the case of The Southern Raiders, there is an argument between Katara and A.ang and also Sokka, and Zuko takes Katara's side over both of them, stands up for her, and defends her right to seek closure and justice.

If anyone is the arbiter in anyone's relationship, the only canon evidence we can pull from is that Zuko would be the one most likely mediating fights between Katara and A.ang, and standing up for Katara when needed.

In fact, Aa.ng yells at Katara for things not her fault multiple times when they are friends and never apologizes for it. You know who never does that though and is an expert apologizer? I'll give you a hint; it's not Momo.

Claim: Katara hated him / They have a love-hate relationship / They're frenemies

Canon: Are we being for real right now? Did you stop watching after The Western Air Temple? Before she even officially forgives him, who is it that she opens up about her trauma to? Who does she feel safe reliving the worst day of her life with? Who does she cry in front of and who comforts her and tells her that her mother was a brave woman? I'll give you a hint; it's not Momo. And it's not A.ang either. It's Zuko.

She leaps into his arms to hug him at the end of the episode. She sees him block A.ang from sitting next to her and says nothing. After forgiving him, her jabs at him go from mean-spirited to cute friendly teasing. She takes out (what she thinks are) his goddamn baby pictures to show everyone cause she thinks he's so cute. She's the one who encourages him to get in on the group hug (and he does because he low-key will do anything Katara says). She comforts him before he goes to apologize to his Uncle. She doesn't hesitate to go with him to fight Azula. She takes his advice when it's given.

Katara likes Zuko, Katara likes Zuko a lot.

And Zuko likes Katara so much that he acts like a wet dog on Katara's doorstep waiting outside her tent all night for her to wake up because he cares about her feelings so much. Zuko likes Katara so much that if given the choice, he'd trade his own life for hers.

All of this is canon.

[frogdisco2021]

Zuko is canonically a sappy hopeless romantic who enjoys romance stories like Love Amongst The Dragons, we know this because his problem wasn't that his mom would take them to see a gushy romance play but that they did it badly. You don't care about something getting butchered unless you like that thing.

He has trouble expressing himself but tries to make thoughtful gestures and give little gifts to people he cares about to show affection.

Early on when Iroh and he are living in a cave and he's going through one of his Robbing People With Swords phases he steals a fancy tea set for Iroh in a misguided attempt at showing affection.

In another misguided attempt at affection he gives the Earth Kingdom boy his knife.

After struggling the entire night to bond with Jin because he's socially inept he does his cute little gesture of lighting the lanterns and risking outing himself as a firebender because he wants to make her happy. And then gives her a coupon for a free cup of tea when she clearly wants to kiss him, because he's clueless.

We see this style of showing affection come out with Mai as well except she sneers at it and shuts him down and hurts his feelings about it. He is the kind of sappy bastard whose first instinct on seeing something pretty is "I'm going to give this to my girlfriend :)" but it seems like this is supposed to be showing us that he and Mai aren't a good fit. He tries being sweet and vulnerable and makes little gestures, like seeing a beautiful perfectly intact conch shell and trying to give it to her, and she verbally rolls her eyes at him and hurts his feelings about it.

Later on when he's with the gaang and starting to feel safe being his true self, he's showing them affection in his typical way by making and serving everyone tea (and on a more subtextual level I think this is a way to demonstrate humility to them, since he comes from royalty he's trying to show that he sees them as equals).

He does other kind gestures to show his new affection for them in the forms of leading a prison break with Sokka and taking Katara on a trauma closure (but murder not NOT on the table if she wants) mission and waiting outside her tent all night like a wet dog on her doorstep.

Dude is a piner and a yearner. And you know what, you know who would LOVE IT if Zuko found that seashell and gave it to her and wouldn't turn up her nose at it? A certain waterbender who he acts more in love with than his canon gf.

[goat-fanatic]

bonding

[codeblueberry]

i swear whitaker is santos’ personal kindness filter

[artofnightfall]

I'm gonna do some wild theorizing that's mostly pure conjecture based on my shitty, less-than-basic understanding of Japanese, but Kafka's name has been on my mind for a while and I need someone with an actual understanding of the Japanese language to correct me here because I think I'm going insane.

We know Kafka is a reference to the Metamorphosis, obviously, but from what I've gathered from the wiki, Hibino seems to be just a regular surname, with just normal nature-related Kanji.

Except the の particle kept signaling to me that Hibino Kafka could be read as a sentence, so I looked up what Hibi meant and if Google Translate can be trusted, it means cracks or faults. Which is really fucking interesting because where do the kaiju come from.

So, with that, Hibi no Kafka = Kafka of the faults

And if you read into it with the Metamorphosis meaning added on, "He who changes from the gaps within the earth"

Again, this is all based on one Google translate search and my shitty understanding of the Japanese language and a book I didn’t read, so I could be way off, but if that's a possible way to read it, that'd be so cool

[bayleavesfromthevine]

hoshina telling kafka not to get too attached to anyone in the defense force because anything could happen to anyone at anytime?? like sir, please practice what you preach bc you got SO attached to kafka that you failed to notice that he's a kaiju, that's all i'm saying

[falling-star-cygnus]

basically the first arc of Kaiju No.8:

Third Division Teens: Hahah, old man. What're you doin' here? Kafka Hibino, coming in hot with his genuine dad energy: Hey, you all are doing great! I'm glad you're all safe Third Division Teens, already tearing up: Shit man, alright, whatever you say

The recruits really looked at Kafka and said 'free dad' and Kafka rolled with it

[noah-wyles]

still undecided if the way robby looks at dennis like that isn't just noah wyles unwavering affection for gerran howell or he's playing him like that for a specific reason or whatever!

[renthony]

I was 12 when the first of my siblings was born, so I have very vivid memories of the way my mother was excluded from a lot of spaces because people find children annoying.

If you think "children should not be allowed in this space," you HAVE TO reckon with the fact that you are now excluding parents (and very often women specifically) who don't have access to childcare. You are isolating people who are poor, or rural, or single parents, or any number of other factors that might prevent someone from having on-demand childcare. You are cutting them off from being able to exist in public. You are denying parents and children the ability to fully participate in society.

My mom spent several years only leaving the house to buy groceries or take me to school, and even then, people would still come up to her to complain TO HER FACE about how she shouldn't bring a crying toddler to Walmart. Entitled strangers would literally try and demand that my mom leave and come back without the kids.

"Why can't your husband watch them?" Because he was at work, usually working extreme amounts of overtime so we didn't get evicted, because landlords don't like it when you stop paying rent.

"Why can't you send them to daycare?" Because that costs money.

"Why can't your teenager stay home with them and babysit?" Because I also deserved to be able to leave the house for something other than school, and taking me to the grocery store was how my mom taught me to manage a household budget, shop sales, and meal plan.

"Don't bring your kid in public if you can't CONTROL them and make them stop crying!" Kids cry when they're upset, and being dragged around a store is upsetting! Don't be an asshole! Children are human beings who are still learning how the world works, and they don't have a lot of agency. You'd cry, too.

"Spank them until they learn to stop crying!" That's just straight-up child abuse, Jesus Christ.

What the fuck was our family supposed to do? Never go to the grocery store? Starve because strangers couldn't handle a toddler existing in public?

[awkwardturtletrash]

My thing is that ignoring any queerness or possible ship, Whitaker and Robby are fucking BZIZARE. Like yeah it’s not canon gay but it is canon Weird. It’s so weird. Whitaker could even be gay and it wouldn’t really change much— other characters are shown to be equally obsessed with Robby’s approval, he has dated a resident before, and he is getting special treatment. Him being way too into Robby could seamlessly be either heterosexual or homosexual. But brother, what the fuck is wrong with Michael Robinavitch. Why are you groping a medical student first few hours you’ve met him, what the hell are you doing offering YOUR HOME, and what do you mean Mr “I Don’t Have A Best Friend” that’s he’s Your Huckleberry? Like, without any gay shit, this is so strange I can’t fathom what they’re trying to articulate narratively with these two. Noah Wyle please answer my calls I’ll leave you alone after I promise

[francisfantan]

i have an incredibly niche proposal based on EXTREMELY specific trauma that could maybe explain this. so we're all familiar with the idea of parentification of children, right? but that can take a lot of different forms. kids fill the role their parents need them to fill. whether that's economic support, emotional support, physical support, OR spiritual support. personally i was like a priest for my mom. i was like her moral compass, telling her what the best thing to do was, what was moral, what was justified. and now, as an adult, just like a kid who got parentified might attract immature people who need someone to care for them, i seem to attract lost people who don't know what's right. i think Dennis might be like that. a priestified child who attracts lost souls like michael robinavitch. no matter how weak he seems, he has that unwavering internal compass, like a moral lighthouse in stormy weather.

[mermaidrobby]

father daughter of the ED

[eisenkrahe]

I feel his pain.