Aspiring Writer

Hi, I'm August, I'm a writer of fiction hoping to be traditionally or self-published one day!

[bitchautism]

the online identity and gimmick-ifying of autism is so odd. I'm diagnosed with autism and yet I barely identify with any stuff I see about it anymore. It feels like autism is being rebranded as the Silly Guy Disorder that gives you smart and beautiful hyperspecific interests. it's not that I mind silly jokes or being lighthearted about being autistic- but when the entire social movement is based around marketing us this way, I just can't help but feel isolated from it. it feels like I'm not the right kind of autistic. I'm not marketable and digestible to common audiences, and therefore I am discarded by the movement in the name of progress and acceptance. it feels foul.

[skeletomez]

choosing a genre is too difficult I will now be writing a romantasy set in a sci fi universe with a horror villain, a coming of age plot structure, comedic characters, a mystery subplot, and random historical tangent in the middle

[augustedevane]

Every so often I get insecure about the fact that most of my main characters are queer men. And I'm a queer woman (albeit, in the same way a square is a rectangle, but a woman nonetheless). Like is there something wrong with me?? Have I not decentered men enough?? Have I not done enough moral introspection?? Have I not purged myself of internalized misogyny?? I'm just going to be contributing to the big trend of most popular queer books being mlm, so is my writing even worth anything?? ughhh

[augustedevane]

I guess what my real question is is: do I, as a queer female writer, have a moral obligation to write stories that center queer women, or at the very least do not center men?

[annabelle--cane]

tragedy protagonist categories:

yknow what yeah I think that's just about how anyone would react in this situation. fair enough.

alright this isn't how just Anyone would behave in this situation but I'm humble enough to admit that there have been times in my life when I was doing badly enough that I'd probably also fumble it like this

babygirl what the hell are you even doing

[alunaloverworld]

[cheaphalloweencostume]

i think it goes without saying but is still worth noting, my beef with booktok literature is 100% about the quality. i LOVE housewives reading weird porn. i wish they would do it more

[modernbluem]

no i will not be dancing on tiktok to promote myself as an author i write books i prefer quiet, controlled isolation and frankly this world seems to have lost the plot

[wildgeese98]

Trying to write sex scenes is so aggravating because honestly describing sex is pretty boring. It's mostly just people putting bits of themselves on or inside other people's bits so you run into a lot of "they walked to another room" type problems where you can get caught up in just describing where everyone's limbs and shit are. What really makes smut interesting and hot, in my opinion at least, is sensory description but that's also hard because you'll be sitting there trying to find a new way to say "they were feeling sexual pleasure and it felt pretty good". Then you also have to figure out how to write dialogue that doesn't sound completely ridiculous and hackneyed. Really makes you want to just write "they boned down real good and it was totally hot trust me, it was definitely the kind of thing you'd want to jerk your shit to," and have done with it.

[crystaloregarden]

[augustedevane]

Every so often I get insecure about the fact that most of my main characters are queer men. And I'm a queer woman (albeit, in the same way a square is a rectangle, but a woman nonetheless). Like is there something wrong with me?? Have I not decentered men enough?? Have I not done enough moral introspection?? Have I not purged myself of internalized misogyny?? I'm just going to be contributing to the big trend of most popular queer books being mlm, so is my writing even worth anything?? ughhh

[augustedevane]

I guess what my real question is is: do I, as a queer female writer, have a moral obligation to write stories that center queer women, or at the very least do not center men?

[lan1fer]

I know the fear of writing stories that perpetuate an unjust world well (I, too, am on the 'moralizing everything' website, after all). I need to remind myself from time to time that my stories are neither activism nor defining me as a person. They are a narrative that manifests from my position and my emotions, but importantly, they are neither presciptive nor does my position inherently come with a moral value. It's actions that can be judged, not feelings, and literature is all about exploring feelings in a cathartic way.

Writing mlm as a woman often isn't actually about men, it's about a fantasy in which the downsides of the patriarchy that women experience do not bind the protagonists. There is a video essay by bazazilio called the borrowed bodies of BL/yaoi that dives into a lot of the questions here. It has it's blindspots, most notably that it assumes a heterosexual position of the reader/writer. Still, most of her arguments hold up for all women in a heteronormative and patriarchal world, and the comments supply different viewpoints that add a lot of value to the discussion Dinara starts.

These fantasies are not just 'childish escapism', they are a way to cope with the reality of our world while having fun. That, too, accounts for something.

Yes, there is a lack of wider queer and wlw romance, and in my unfiltered bullshit opinion, there is also a dire lack of good romance within the part that does exist. I am attracted to women, but I have never read a wlw story that made me feel the sort of deep longing and burning desire some bl or even straight romance has let me experience. I can only speculate on why that is—it's an important question after all—but it's not because I failed at decentering men. If I had to guess, I'd say I'm either looking in the wrong places, or that untagling how the patriarchy has messed with us and finding a way of delivering catharsis through wlw fiction is a lot harder than simply writing a mlm plot with women protagonists.

I'm again coming back to stress that there is no moral obligation on any individual to write wlw or other non-mlm queer romance. The mlm oversaturation is a symptom, not a cause. Not writing that juicy mlm story that's occupying your brain isn't making the world a better place. Exploring how to write those stories that are missing from the shelves is important work in the world that we live in, but it needs to be a work of passion first and foremost. Without intrinsic motivation, that's just a setup for a personal torment nexus, and making it relevant despite that is even more difficult. I'm sure there are people doing exactly this kind of work because they want to. The world is vast and the book market is capitalist. Supporting them through exposure, serious discussion and financial means is one way of making the world a better place. Searching for them and making an effort to broaden your horizon beyond what's directly available to you is another.

Guilt is a poor advisor. Decisions made when self-esteem is low are seldom the right ones. Self-care is equally, if not more important than fighting for a better world. "If you can not love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else." If that self-care comes in the form of mlm romance, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Because I like it is reason enough to write.

[luna-azzurra]

Quick Tips for Writing Addiction and Recovery

✧ Relapse doesn't mean failure. Recovery isn't linear. Your character can be doing great and then have a bad day/week/month. It's part of the process, not the end of it.

✧ Cravings don't just disappear. Years into recovery and something can still trigger that want. It gets easier but it doesn't fully go away for everyone.

✧ The substance isn't the whole problem. Your character's probably self-medicating something, trauma, mental illness, unbearable circumstances. Taking away the substance doesn't fix what's underneath.

✧ Withdrawal is hell. Not just "feeling bad", it's physical torture. Shaking, sweating, nausea, pain, sometimes actual danger depending on the substance. Your character isn't just sad, they're ILL.

✧ Sobriety is boring at first. All your coping mechanisms, social circles, and ways to have fun involved the substance. Now what? Your character has to rebuild everything.

✧ People treat you differently. Some are supportive. Some are judgmental. Some ask invasive questions. Some don't trust you anymore. The stigma is real and it sucks.

✧ Triggers are everywhere. Certain places, people, smells, times of day, emotions. Your character's constantly navigating a minefield of things that make them want to use.

✧ You lost time. Months or years where you weren't really present. Relationships damaged. Opportunities missed. There's grief for the person you could have been.

✧ Recovery is active work. Meetings, therapy, building new habits, sitting with uncomfortable feelings. It's not passive. Your character's putting in effort every single day.

✧ You're not the same person after. Recovery changes you. You can't go back to who you were before addiction, only forward to who you're becoming. That's scary and hopeful at the same time.

[augustedevane]

Every so often I get insecure about the fact that most of my main characters are queer men. And I'm a queer woman (albeit, in the same way a square is a rectangle, but a woman nonetheless). Like is there something wrong with me?? Have I not decentered men enough?? Have I not done enough moral introspection?? Have I not purged myself of internalized misogyny?? I'm just going to be contributing to the big trend of most popular queer books being mlm, so is my writing even worth anything?? ughhh

[augustedevane]

I guess what my real question is is: do I, as a queer female writer, have a moral obligation to write stories that center queer women, or at the very least do not center men?

[augustedevane]

Every so often I get insecure about the fact that most of my main characters are queer men. And I'm a queer woman (albeit, in the same way a square is a rectangle, but a woman nonetheless). Like is there something wrong with me?? Have I not decentered men enough?? Have I not done enough moral introspection?? Have I not purged myself of internalized misogyny?? I'm just going to be contributing to the big trend of most popular queer books being mlm, so is my writing even worth anything?? ughhh

[augustedevane]

Nobody understands Irene Adler like I do. Perhaps not even Sir Arthur Conan Doyle himself.

[augustedevane]

I wish I could extricate this longing from myself, excise it like a tumor, amputate it like a diseased limb, before it infects the rest of me.

[augustedevane]

My maybe-unpopular opinion is that I like love triangles, but with the huge caveat that all three characters involved HAVE to be fully developed and realized. You can't just throw in a third person for the spice like a straight couple trying a threesome to fix their failing relationship. Make me root for everyone!! Make me conflicted over who I want to end up together!! Make it heartbreaking!!!

[nondelphic]

“you should write every day” bestie i’m trying to live every day. write?? i barely eat enough fruit.

[augustedevane]

One of my short stories is published!

It's in an online literary magazine called The Hooghly Review.

I'd really appreciate it if you gave it a read :)