Avocado's Hypothesis

Haley. bi. i mostly just reblog random stuff. fight me @ any time, i'm always down

[100kinkmeme]

Hey so can y'all maybe keep your fics on LJ instead of posting them on ao3 because a lot of people go on ao3 to just read normal bellarke fics and don't need to be triggered by incest and rape prompts that are being filled out here.

I hate to break it to you, but I’m not actually the boss of anyone. Similarly, you are not actually the boss of anyone. What adults choose to post on AO3 is at their own discretion. But don’t worry, the beautiful thing about AO3 is that everything is neatly labeled and clearly tagged so you needn’t worry about accidentally stumbling into a fic which squicks you.

And to my writers, I do urge you to respect people’s desire to easily avoid fic they know would upset them by clearly labeling and properly tagging your fic if you choose to post it; our fandom will fucking self destruct if we start having high (potential) squick factor fics cropping up all willy nilly, unlabeled and tricksy. And I’d care some what less about that except I’m the one at whose blame is going to be laid.

And I would like to say, to those of you have decided that the Kink Meme is little more than a breeding ground for sexual deviants. Yes, hello, thank you for forcing me to turn off anon. On an (admittedly rushed) search of the ~100 filled prompts (way to go, perverts) only ~15 of them rate trigger warnings and that includes the 6 consensual, of age Daddy! or Mommy!kink fics because I know for some twee and precious flowers people that is squicky. But frankly I shouldn’t really have included them because even if they were real people (which they aren’t) everyone in them is a consenting adult. Is there stuff on the Kink Meme which might upset people? Yeah there is, but a great deal more of it is Abby getting lucky with everyone like the mega space babe she is, and one time Clarke and Harper took a bath (personal favorite).

Why yes I am sensitive and defensive about this, how could you tell?

[bob-morley]

First of all what year is this that y'all still use the word squick (????) secondly this isn’t whatever that is this is going to a place that most of us go to (the Bellamy/Clarke tag on ao3!!) to get away, and that we treat as a safe space, only to see like incest fic (a personal trigger of mine!!) or rape fic or like whatever other bullshit y'all are circle jerking to like? Keep it on your kinkmeme page! Because unfortunately we can’t filter “nasty ass fanfiction written by middle aged women” on ao3, sure as fuck wish I could though!

[raincityruckus]

nb: Sorry to shift this sideways to my personal blog but this really doesn’t need to be cluttering up the Kink Meme tumblr, you understand. 

To your tags “ #ANYWAY#I think I asked nicely the first time lmfao ”. You absolutely did ask nicely which I’m appreciative of. However, being thankful that someone chose not to accuse me of molesting a child I lived with (my inbox has been wild) is a surreal place to be in my life. 

I use squick for a couple of reasons, the first of which being that I’m nearly 30 and have been active in the fanfiction community since the 7th grade so I’ve always called it a squick. The other, more salient, reason is that a squick is not a trigger. I’m firmly of the mind that fandom in general uses trigger with little regard for the actual significance for people who are triggered by things. Not offended or grossed out but genuinely triggered. While I’m sure that there are absolutely fics which have genuinely triggered people and I of course can’t speak to anyone’s personal experience, the vast majority of people who say fic is triggering them are not, in fact, suffering from a resurgence of deeply harmful psychological trauma which significantly affects their ability to lead “normal” lives. They just don’t like it. Being upset by something isn’t the same as being triggered by it. 

To that end if you are making AO3 your “safe space” and expect that you will not be confronted by content that you find offensive you are acting in error. As was pointed out the last time I tried to run a Kink Meme for this fandom, AO3′s mission statement from conception has been to host fanfiction without morality policing or censorship with some very few exceptions (personal attacks and plagiarism being two such exceptions). AO3 and quite frankly fanfiction in general shouldn’t be where you look to find a safe space; There are too many people looking for too many disparate things. 

If you want safe space within the Bellarke shipdom or fandom in general I heartily encourage you to create that. Back in the day (#fandomgrandma) personally run fanfiction archives were all the rage. I’m sure that the (free) source code for those, complete with forums, is still floating around on the internet. If my experience in the Bellarke shipdom has taught me anything it’s that you will absolutely get a bite if you decide to host a The 100 or even just Bellarke archive with morality rules. If you’d like to see what those kinds of private archives can look like: Pomme De Sang was my stomping grounds for a while. Yeah, I made some questionable choices in high school but the PdS archive and forum are a pretty standard example. 

It’s gonna be a long day isn’t it?

[bob-morley]

omg i’m deadass so fucking tired of old people 

[raincityruckus]

This just in: 30 is now Old. No one tell the Bellamy stans how old Bob Morley is.

edit to add: 

Actually, fuck you. I’m really over this fandom being so moralizing and self important. I worked really hard on being clear and articulate and non-confrontational about something which is a really sensitive subject for me. In case you were wondering, yeah I’m still raw about last time and the things people have been saying to and about me in my inbox or on GG run the gambit from exhausting to legitimately terrible.  

I treated your concern with respect and actually addressed it because I know that it’s important to you and it’s shared by other people. I don’t want to blow off your experience and the parts of it which are troubling that I play a role in just because I disagree with where you’re coming from. So I tried to be helpful, I gave resources and a good fucking idea. It’s this off hand dismissal of anything that might complicate a narrow, clinical world view which makes me so sick of this fandom. 

You try to run something nice and you get shit.

You know what the worst part is? I’m very annoyed and yet still sitting here being genuinely and notably grateful that a) you’re not a former friend who has decided to go for the throat and b) you’re not accusing me of being a rapist. I honestly can’t even tell if fandom’s gotten worse of if I’m just a lot more tired. 

Fuck it, I’m going to the beach. 

[avocadoshypothesis]

All of this 100%

Also: @bob-morley I don’t think that this is so much a matter of who’s “old” and who isn’t, as opposed to who has experience in fandom.

People who are experienced in fandom already know what squicks are and triggers are, and they already know that it’s perfectly fine to have either and to not want to read/see things because of them. Seriously! Not everything is for everyone! And that’s fine!

They also know that Ao3 is a website that is literally founded on the principles of allowing any and all types of fiction to be posted and respected. They have actual real life lawyers to protect said fanfictions and the people who post them. So by all means, send them an angry letter, sign a petition, become a lawyer and boycott the website all together: do what you want, I don’t care. They’ll laugh in your face, and that’s assuming that you even get a response in the first place.

(I do want to add: there’s no shame in not being experienced in fandom!! We all start somewhere. The real problem is when we pretend that we know everything about the culture that we’re immersing ourselves in. It’s a problem when we bust in here like we own the place, then start telling people who have been doing this for years and literally built the culture that we now get to enjoy and share: “you’re doing this wrong and you’re a piece of shit person because I said so.”)

You are far from the first person to decide that “my own personal ideals are the highest of the high, and everyone else needs to leave so that way I can enforce my safe space” and you will absolutely not be the last.

However, if you were experienced in fandom, you would know just how dangerous this mentality is. You would know that all it takes is for one thing to be compromised (ei: no rape/incest fics) and then everything comes tumbling down.

“But Avocado! Aren’t you jumping to conclusions?? Surely we can just take out the bad things without getting rid of the good things like LGBT+ rep and freedom of expression??”

Unfortunately, my sweet little sugar plum, people have tried this time and time again. And guess what? It’s failed. Time. And. Time. Again. One thing gives and before you know it you have a website where you’re only allowed to post PG fanfics with M/F pairings and no premarital sex or violence or drugs or literally anything like that and no I’m not exaggerating. It has happened. Time. And. Time. Again.

“So what are we to do?? There are so many horrible horrible things out there and by golly, I shouldn’t have to read them!!”

Well, here’s the real kicker: you totally don’t have to read anything you don’t want to! I KNOW. SHOCKING. BRAND NEW INFORMATION. I highly suggest that you make use of Ao3′s extensive tagging system, which is fully decked out with Rape/Non-Con warnings, Explicit Warnings, Violence Warnings, and honest to god so so many tags that it’s almost like you could tag absolutely anything and everything on that damn website.

Oh wait-- YOU TOTALLY CAN.

“But Avocado!! What if there’s a fanfic that isn’t tagged properly???”

Well, my precious baby dew drop, you could always politely ask the author to properly tag their content. But after that? You’re just going to have to close the fic and stop reading it. I know. It’s an impossible task, but when you’re left unsupervised on the internet you’re going to have to be your own advocate. Don’t read what you’re not comfortable reading. It’s that easy. You’re allowed to stop reading at any time too! I promise. It’s totally allowed.

“BUT AVOCADO!!! WHAT IF THEY’RE WRITING EXPLICIT INFORMATION IN THE DESCRIPTION???? WHAT IF THEY USED BAD WORDS AND THE VERY SHORT DESCRIPTION WAS ENOUGH TO MAKE ME EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE TO THE POINT THAT I FELT COMPELLED TO SEND ANGRY MESSAGES TO PEOPLE ONLINE?????”

You may not like this, darling sweet pea honey pie, but if you are that easily affected by content (and there’s no shame in that!! Genuinely, having squicks/triggers is nothing to be ashamed of and you do not have to live your life as if you don’t have them) then Ao3 probably isn’t the website for you. And I know that sucks to hear, considering that it’s arguably the biggest and best website for fanfiction, but it is not created to be a safe space. It’s just not. So if that’s what you need, then you might need to look in other places.

[sapphicswft-deactivated20171203]

Note: If you tell anti Karamel abuse survivors that they arent “allowed” to call Karamel abusive you are invalidating their experiences with abuse and that is disgusting and wrong

[shamelessbisexuality]

I’m sorry, but the canon does not support it.You can find it uncomfortable, can say that it reminds you of your experiences, but that does not change the canon of the story. Your one opinion does not make it so. 

Note: there are also abuse survivors who do not think it’s abuse. 

You know, maybe I should have rephrased it more as, you shouldn’t act as if your interpretation of it as abuse is factual or supported by canon. Because I don’t think there’s anything necessarily wrong with thinking it’s abusive. What I find wrong is when people act as if it’s canon or as if anyone who supports it is supporting abuse.

[sapphicswft-deactivated20171203]

To say. It is not. Objectively. Abuse. Is. Invalidating. Other. People’s. Experiences. With. Abuse. 

I have experienced emotional abuse that directly parallels Karamel and for someone like you, who knows nothing about me or my experiences to tell me that Karamel is “objectively” not abuse tells me that you’d also say that my experience was “objectively” not abuse and sorry, but you don’t get to make that call. 

Don’t police people’s individual experiences for a ship??? Like???

And I’m not going to get into the second part of that discourse but all I know is I don’t keep people close to me who justify Mon El’s actions towards Kara as healthy and normal behavior. Enough said.

Also, you literally just said you hate when people say it’s factually abusive and yet are saying canon factually doesn’t support it? Um. 

[shamelessbisexuality]

But it is objectively not abuse. It is canonically not abuse.

As for your own experience, I said nothing about it. In fact, I literally said, and I quote, “You can find it uncomfortable, can say that it reminds you of your experiences, but that does not change the canon of the story”. To clarify, I had a parental figure that was emotionally abusive to me. Because of this, I would likely really dislike watching a show with a man that looked and behaved similarly to him and perhaps raised his voice to a younger girl, made her cry, etc. However, I also know that my experience is not EXACTLY the same as a characters. I might not like said character because I associate him with my experience, but it paralleling your experience in some manner does not make it exactly the same??? Because our experiences are NEVER exactly the same.

And as for you saying that I’m invalidating your experiences, I’m sorry, but that’s an emotionally and personally charged claim that has no evidence to back it up and is a fallacy. You’re saying I’m invalidating your experiences by pointing out that the ship does not display warning signs of abuse, but all I am doing is stating fact based on canon. I don’t know anything about your personal experience. You’re extending what I say about a fictional relationship to yourself. I did not say a thing about your own experience.

The fact is that I could go and list all of the signs of emotional abuse and they would not fit Karamel. That is not opinion. That is what canon has shown us and what the warning signs are, as a whole, for emotional abuse. 

You having a personal stake in it definitely means something, but you can’t act as if you’re a mouthpiece for all abuse victims either. Even people who are a part of a marginalized group or a group of victims can be wrong about the story. 

If one abuse victim says that it’s minimizing abuse to call Karamel abusive (and I actually did see a post like this… though I’d be damned to find it. But, although I don’t have experience with romantic abuse, I still am an abuse victim myself) and another says that it’s wrong to say it’s objectively not abuse, what then? Does a black hole form because we’ve got ourselves this unsolvable paradox because we can’t disagree with anyone who has a personal stake in it?

I’m sorry, but no.

edit: Furthermore, there are better words to use, like toxic or unhealthy, for example. 

[tyronndy]

Imagine having your head so far up your ship’s ass that you can’t see that you’re contradicting yourself. You don’t get to tell someone that their interpretation of a relationship based on their own personal experiences is wrong. This is the exact same fucking thing that I’m seeing from Octagon apologists in T100 fandom. YOU👏🏻DO👏🏻NOT👏🏻GET👏🏻TO 👏🏻TELL👏🏻ABUSE👏🏻SURVIVORS👏🏻THAT👏🏻THEIR👏🏻INTERPRETATION👏🏻OF👏🏻A👏🏻CHARACTER👏🏻THAT👏🏻TRIGGERS👏🏻THEM👏🏻IS👏🏻WRONG. Period. End of discussion.

And P.S.: most abusive relationships/characters are not explicitly stated as so in canon. Octagon is not explicitly stated as abusive, but she is. She literally has a pattern of being verbally/physically abusive to every POC she’s gotten close to. I stopped watching Supergirl because they dropped the black man as the love interest just so they could introduce a crusty white guy. Because GOD FORBID the black man be the white heroine’s love interest 🙄 anyways, yeah I’ve stopped watching that show, but based on what I’ve seen from actual karamel shippers and anti-karamel people on my dash, mon-el is a toxic POS.

I’m sick of seeing characters get excused for being disgusting just because they’re pretty and white. And please, don’t even try to respond with the same tired argument you gave to the original poster here. You contradicted yourself and invalidated your own argument already so as far as I’m concerned, we’re done here.

[avocadoshypothesis]

No offense spider, but you’re kind of a bitch

[tyronndy]

None taken. Why would I be offended by someone calling me a bitch for defending abuse survivors? 🤔

[avocadoshypothesis]

Oh yeah, I’m sure that’s exactly what you were doing. I’m sure that there’s a whole giant list of real life abuse survivors who are so thrilled that you, spiderdoctor-67, were there to rescue them. I’m sure that now, after your astounding and beautifully put retort, they will be able to sleep at night! Yes! Surely that is exactly what’s going on here! You’re not just harassing someone who likes a ship that you don’t like! Nooooo, you’re defending abuse survivors.

How could anyone stand against you when you have such a noble and valiant cause? How could anyone claim that your intentions are anything but pure and selfless when you’re defending abuse survivors.

Who else do you use as a mask to spread your petty, self entitled, hypocritical agenda? LGBT+ members? POC? Homeless veterans? Disabled puppies?? Who else do you use as a prop to hold up in your arguments, when genuinely? Your discourse and agenda does nothing to help anyone in real life.

And I’m sure you know that.

So please, keep telling me about how your tumblr crusade is helping real life people. Because from my perspective (and I can guarantee you that I’m not alone on this) you’re just a sad, self inflated, bully.

[tyronndy]

Ummm wowza. You do realize tumblr accounts are run by actual real life people and I have actual friends on here who actually HAVE thanked me personally for defending them. Anyways. You’re a disgusting human being and you’re contradicting yourself lmao. “Oh you think you’re making a difference by stating your opinion on social media but you’re wrong lol but I’m going to tell you you’re wrong even tho I just said stating things on social media platforms is useless”. Also, I’m bisexual so blow me on the “using LGBT+ as a shield” front.

[trashy-greyjoy]

*insert longest yikes in history*

[avocadoshypothesis]

#that is honestly the grossest messiest fucking post I've ever read...#wowowowowow#like this avocado hoe is really attacking real issues and people over fucking what?#a differing opinion regarding television#honestly#some people on tumblr shouldn't be allowed to speak#but keep slaying babe#ash that avocado right on up#spread that shit on some toast#and eat it for breakfast#girl bye

Oh you mean like what they were doing to belomiklark up there? Attacking real people over “fucking what? a differing opinion regarding television”

Huh. Funny.

Wanna know something even funnier? You went and looked up “how to tell if an avocado is rotten”, screen-shotted that thing, then responded to a post that doesn’t involve you, all in a hilariously pathetic attempt to “drag” me. Goddamn. Wow. I’m gonna go cry now because I’m a rotten avocado. Obviously people are always what their username is (and honestly, I’m not even remotely surprised that both of you missed that my name is clearly a play on Avogadro’s Hypothesis. That’s asking far too much of the both of you. Keep it to the avocados, sweetheart)

I’m also not surprised that spiderdoctor up there completely disregarded the point of my message, then blocked me after “dragging me” so that way it’ll seem like my heart was so crushed by their incredibly eloquent and heart wrenching statement that I was rendered entirely unable to respond. That combined with a gif of someone rubbing a middle finger in someone else’s face?? Oh god, how will I carry on??

But lastly, before you climb back on your high horse, respond with another pointless “drag”, then block me before I can respond like your friend did up there, I want to make this very clear: what you are condoning is nothing short of bullying. And you need to treat that like the legitimate issue that it is, instead of blindly pretending that you aren’t taking part in it. Neither of you are doing anything good with your “discourse” and you are not helping anyone by attacking people with different opinions.

What I’m doing? Not a matter of opinion. I don’t give two shits about what you or spiderdoctor or belomiklark ships. I do, however, care about who thinks it’s okay to treat other human beings like they’re garbage.

Oh, and spiderdoctor? I’m bi too. It’s right there on my blog. Not even hard to find.

Now go right ahead: call me hypocritical, call me a bitch, call me “gross” or “disgusting”, then block me. That’s your only move, right?

[freshprincesubs]

and this is why the original Aunt Viv slayed.

[drferox]

[breadedsinner]

@caramelcheese

[northern-proper]

One of the hardest things you will ever have to do my dear is grieve the loss of a person who is still alive.

My father’s advice #1 (via northern-proper)

[itsagifnotagif]

Dogs are too pure honestly

[sapphicswft-deactivated20171203]

Note: If you tell anti Karamel abuse survivors that they arent “allowed” to call Karamel abusive you are invalidating their experiences with abuse and that is disgusting and wrong

[shamelessbisexuality]

I’m sorry, but the canon does not support it.You can find it uncomfortable, can say that it reminds you of your experiences, but that does not change the canon of the story. Your one opinion does not make it so. 

Note: there are also abuse survivors who do not think it’s abuse. 

You know, maybe I should have rephrased it more as, you shouldn’t act as if your interpretation of it as abuse is factual or supported by canon. Because I don’t think there’s anything necessarily wrong with thinking it’s abusive. What I find wrong is when people act as if it’s canon or as if anyone who supports it is supporting abuse.

[sapphicswft-deactivated20171203]

To say. It is not. Objectively. Abuse. Is. Invalidating. Other. People’s. Experiences. With. Abuse. 

I have experienced emotional abuse that directly parallels Karamel and for someone like you, who knows nothing about me or my experiences to tell me that Karamel is “objectively” not abuse tells me that you’d also say that my experience was “objectively” not abuse and sorry, but you don’t get to make that call. 

Don’t police people’s individual experiences for a ship??? Like???

And I’m not going to get into the second part of that discourse but all I know is I don’t keep people close to me who justify Mon El’s actions towards Kara as healthy and normal behavior. Enough said.

Also, you literally just said you hate when people say it’s factually abusive and yet are saying canon factually doesn’t support it? Um. 

[shamelessbisexuality]

But it is objectively not abuse. It is canonically not abuse.

As for your own experience, I said nothing about it. In fact, I literally said, and I quote, “You can find it uncomfortable, can say that it reminds you of your experiences, but that does not change the canon of the story”. To clarify, I had a parental figure that was emotionally abusive to me. Because of this, I would likely really dislike watching a show with a man that looked and behaved similarly to him and perhaps raised his voice to a younger girl, made her cry, etc. However, I also know that my experience is not EXACTLY the same as a characters. I might not like said character because I associate him with my experience, but it paralleling your experience in some manner does not make it exactly the same??? Because our experiences are NEVER exactly the same.

And as for you saying that I’m invalidating your experiences, I’m sorry, but that’s an emotionally and personally charged claim that has no evidence to back it up and is a fallacy. You’re saying I’m invalidating your experiences by pointing out that the ship does not display warning signs of abuse, but all I am doing is stating fact based on canon. I don’t know anything about your personal experience. You’re extending what I say about a fictional relationship to yourself. I did not say a thing about your own experience.

The fact is that I could go and list all of the signs of emotional abuse and they would not fit Karamel. That is not opinion. That is what canon has shown us and what the warning signs are, as a whole, for emotional abuse. 

You having a personal stake in it definitely means something, but you can’t act as if you’re a mouthpiece for all abuse victims either. Even people who are a part of a marginalized group or a group of victims can be wrong about the story. 

If one abuse victim says that it’s minimizing abuse to call Karamel abusive (and I actually did see a post like this… though I’d be damned to find it. But, although I don’t have experience with romantic abuse, I still am an abuse victim myself) and another says that it’s wrong to say it’s objectively not abuse, what then? Does a black hole form because we’ve got ourselves this unsolvable paradox because we can’t disagree with anyone who has a personal stake in it?

I’m sorry, but no.

edit: Furthermore, there are better words to use, like toxic or unhealthy, for example. 

[tyronndy]

Imagine having your head so far up your ship’s ass that you can’t see that you’re contradicting yourself. You don’t get to tell someone that their interpretation of a relationship based on their own personal experiences is wrong. This is the exact same fucking thing that I’m seeing from Octagon apologists in T100 fandom. YOU👏🏻DO👏🏻NOT👏🏻GET👏🏻TO 👏🏻TELL👏🏻ABUSE👏🏻SURVIVORS👏🏻THAT👏🏻THEIR👏🏻INTERPRETATION👏🏻OF👏🏻A👏🏻CHARACTER👏🏻THAT👏🏻TRIGGERS👏🏻THEM👏🏻IS👏🏻WRONG. Period. End of discussion.

And P.S.: most abusive relationships/characters are not explicitly stated as so in canon. Octagon is not explicitly stated as abusive, but she is. She literally has a pattern of being verbally/physically abusive to every POC she’s gotten close to. I stopped watching Supergirl because they dropped the black man as the love interest just so they could introduce a crusty white guy. Because GOD FORBID the black man be the white heroine’s love interest 🙄 anyways, yeah I’ve stopped watching that show, but based on what I’ve seen from actual karamel shippers and anti-karamel people on my dash, mon-el is a toxic POS.

I’m sick of seeing characters get excused for being disgusting just because they’re pretty and white. And please, don’t even try to respond with the same tired argument you gave to the original poster here. You contradicted yourself and invalidated your own argument already so as far as I’m concerned, we’re done here.

[avocadoshypothesis]

No offense spider, but you’re kind of a bitch

[tyronndy]

None taken. Why would I be offended by someone calling me a bitch for defending abuse survivors? 🤔

[avocadoshypothesis]

Oh yeah, I’m sure that’s exactly what you were doing. I’m sure that there’s a whole giant list of real life abuse survivors who are so thrilled that you, spiderdoctor-67, were there to rescue them. I’m sure that now, after your astounding and beautifully put retort, they will be able to sleep at night! Yes! Surely that is exactly what’s going on here! You’re not just harassing someone who likes a ship that you don’t like! Nooooo, you’re defending abuse survivors.

How could anyone stand against you when you have such a noble and valiant cause? How could anyone claim that your intentions are anything but pure and selfless when you’re defending abuse survivors.

Who else do you use as a mask to spread your petty, self entitled, hypocritical agenda? LGBT+ members? POC? Homeless veterans? Disabled puppies?? Who else do you use as a prop to hold up in your arguments, when genuinely? Your discourse and agenda does nothing to help anyone in real life.

And I’m sure you know that.

So please, keep telling me about how your tumblr crusade is helping real life people. Because from my perspective (and I can guarantee you that I’m not alone on this) you’re just a sad, self inflated, bully.

[sapphicswft-deactivated20171203]

Note: If you tell anti Karamel abuse survivors that they arent “allowed” to call Karamel abusive you are invalidating their experiences with abuse and that is disgusting and wrong

[shamelessbisexuality]

I’m sorry, but the canon does not support it.You can find it uncomfortable, can say that it reminds you of your experiences, but that does not change the canon of the story. Your one opinion does not make it so. 

Note: there are also abuse survivors who do not think it’s abuse. 

You know, maybe I should have rephrased it more as, you shouldn’t act as if your interpretation of it as abuse is factual or supported by canon. Because I don’t think there’s anything necessarily wrong with thinking it’s abusive. What I find wrong is when people act as if it’s canon or as if anyone who supports it is supporting abuse.

[sapphicswft-deactivated20171203]

To say. It is not. Objectively. Abuse. Is. Invalidating. Other. People’s. Experiences. With. Abuse. 

I have experienced emotional abuse that directly parallels Karamel and for someone like you, who knows nothing about me or my experiences to tell me that Karamel is “objectively” not abuse tells me that you’d also say that my experience was “objectively” not abuse and sorry, but you don’t get to make that call. 

Don’t police people’s individual experiences for a ship??? Like???

And I’m not going to get into the second part of that discourse but all I know is I don’t keep people close to me who justify Mon El’s actions towards Kara as healthy and normal behavior. Enough said.

Also, you literally just said you hate when people say it’s factually abusive and yet are saying canon factually doesn’t support it? Um. 

[shamelessbisexuality]

But it is objectively not abuse. It is canonically not abuse.

As for your own experience, I said nothing about it. In fact, I literally said, and I quote, “You can find it uncomfortable, can say that it reminds you of your experiences, but that does not change the canon of the story”. To clarify, I had a parental figure that was emotionally abusive to me. Because of this, I would likely really dislike watching a show with a man that looked and behaved similarly to him and perhaps raised his voice to a younger girl, made her cry, etc. However, I also know that my experience is not EXACTLY the same as a characters. I might not like said character because I associate him with my experience, but it paralleling your experience in some manner does not make it exactly the same??? Because our experiences are NEVER exactly the same.

And as for you saying that I’m invalidating your experiences, I’m sorry, but that’s an emotionally and personally charged claim that has no evidence to back it up and is a fallacy. You’re saying I’m invalidating your experiences by pointing out that the ship does not display warning signs of abuse, but all I am doing is stating fact based on canon. I don’t know anything about your personal experience. You’re extending what I say about a fictional relationship to yourself. I did not say a thing about your own experience.

The fact is that I could go and list all of the signs of emotional abuse and they would not fit Karamel. That is not opinion. That is what canon has shown us and what the warning signs are, as a whole, for emotional abuse. 

You having a personal stake in it definitely means something, but you can’t act as if you’re a mouthpiece for all abuse victims either. Even people who are a part of a marginalized group or a group of victims can be wrong about the story. 

If one abuse victim says that it’s minimizing abuse to call Karamel abusive (and I actually did see a post like this… though I’d be damned to find it. But, although I don’t have experience with romantic abuse, I still am an abuse victim myself) and another says that it’s wrong to say it’s objectively not abuse, what then? Does a black hole form because we’ve got ourselves this unsolvable paradox because we can’t disagree with anyone who has a personal stake in it?

I’m sorry, but no.

edit: Furthermore, there are better words to use, like toxic or unhealthy, for example. 

[tyronndy]

Imagine having your head so far up your ship’s ass that you can’t see that you’re contradicting yourself. You don’t get to tell someone that their interpretation of a relationship based on their own personal experiences is wrong. This is the exact same fucking thing that I’m seeing from Octagon apologists in T100 fandom. YOU👏🏻DO👏🏻NOT👏🏻GET👏🏻TO 👏🏻TELL👏🏻ABUSE👏🏻SURVIVORS👏🏻THAT👏🏻THEIR👏🏻INTERPRETATION👏🏻OF👏🏻A👏🏻CHARACTER👏🏻THAT👏🏻TRIGGERS👏🏻THEM👏🏻IS👏🏻WRONG. Period. End of discussion.

And P.S.: most abusive relationships/characters are not explicitly stated as so in canon. Octagon is not explicitly stated as abusive, but she is. She literally has a pattern of being verbally/physically abusive to every POC she’s gotten close to. I stopped watching Supergirl because they dropped the black man as the love interest just so they could introduce a crusty white guy. Because GOD FORBID the black man be the white heroine’s love interest 🙄 anyways, yeah I’ve stopped watching that show, but based on what I’ve seen from actual karamel shippers and anti-karamel people on my dash, mon-el is a toxic POS.

I’m sick of seeing characters get excused for being disgusting just because they’re pretty and white. And please, don’t even try to respond with the same tired argument you gave to the original poster here. You contradicted yourself and invalidated your own argument already so as far as I’m concerned, we’re done here.

[avocadoshypothesis]

No offense spider, but you’re kind of a bitch

[mostlycatsmostly]

Raising Kittens

(via Valerija S. Vlasov)

[itstheblob]

dsfklsajflsjfdlk that’s the german word for kittens?

katzenkinder?

literally: “cat children”

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ;w;

[alanahikarichan]

ISN’T GERMAN A CUTE LANGUAGE DO YOU KNOW THE GERMAN WORD FOR BAT IT’S FLEDERMAUS FLUTTER-MOUSE HOW IS THAT NOT JUST KAWAII AS HECK

[theparadoxmachine]

My favorite is their word for bagpipes.

DUDELSACK

doodle sack

seriously

But then their word for skull is Totenkopf, as in Death’s Head. 

So German basically has two settings, kawaii and metal, and there is no in between. 

I love German.

[mostlycatsmostly]

Reblogging for the German lesson.

[ladiesorgtfo-deactivated2015082]

light bulb = “Glühbirne”, literally glow pear

also we have an obsession with pockets apparently

flashlight = “Taschenlampe”, pocket lamp

paperback = “Taschenbuch”, pocket book

tissue = “Taschentuch”, pocket cloth

also the sausage thing is kinda legit because there’s a song that contains the line “alles hat ein Ende, nur die Wurst hat zwei” meaning everyhing has an end, but sausage has two

what is German even

[fortheartofliving]

[flo-we-rs]

look at these evil lesbians destroying the sanctity of marriage

[avocadoshypothesis]

Child me: WOW WHEN IM A TEENAGER IM GONNA GO OUT WITH MY FRIENDS TO THE MALL AND PARTY AND DATE HOT PEOPLE AND BE POPULAR AND COOL

Teenage me: *hisses at sunlight*

[nataliedormier]

[lucifernous]

ARE THOSE TEARS IN DEAN’S EYES???!!!

[a-cursed-winchester]

OMFG 

[bloody-men-with-blue-eyes]

[dbtohotactors]

THIS FANDOM ALWAYS DOES THIS SO DONE

[bedroomed]

(american voice) hairy padder

[crooked-seoul-deactivated201411]

is that how we sound omfg

[bedroomed]

yes

[crooked-seoul-deactivated201411]

(british voice) ‘arry pouhta 

[huntertouching-blog]

(australian voice) hay putta

[lokiheimr-blog]

(filipino voice) hari paterr

[twofingerswhiskey]

(canadian voice) hairee pawterr

[throar]

(arab voice) heerry bootar

[hipsterinatardis]

(malfoy voice) POTTER!

[vampiregerards]

(dumbledore voice) HARRY DIDJA PUT YA NAME IN DA GOBLET OF FIYAH

[actualsaame]

[ohcarararara]

I remember my first eagle ceremony when I turned nine. The first eagle you get is always declawed, which I always thought was pretty inhumane, but it was a good way to ease into caring for the birds. My eagle (named Baldy, because I wasn’t a terribly clever child) was already quite old when I received him (he was a rescue eagle, luckily) but I did have him until I was 16. I don’t know if I was more excited about getting my drivers license that year, or my new eagle! You should have seen the party we had when I got him, too! Grilled hot dogs and fire works and lemonade…. obviously I named my beautiful new eagle Freedom. He’s too big to keep inside anymore, unfortunately, but we’ve got a pretty comfortable roost for him on our apartment’s balcony.

[the19thhistory]

Ah, yes, the eagle ceremony! My Justice and I remember his quite well. (They had just come out with telepathic link transplants when I got him, which is how I know he remembers it.) Our celebration was quite modest, compared to Freedom’s—apple pie under a cloudless summer sky as we signed our Declaration of Interdependence. I still have the inked and talon-pierced document hanging on my wall.

[vashappeninstyles]

what is this 

[rinnysega]

Get out Canada

[thesanityclause]

I was so scared during my pet eagle ceremony I almost threw up. But Stonewall Jackson and I have been best friends ever since. My dad and grandfather built a really massive roost behind the house for my eagle and my sisters’ eagles. Stonewall always waits for me when I get home from class since schools are getting so over protective and strict these days and won’t allow eagles indoors. Which just goes to show how much we’re bubble wrapping kids today. Back in the day, if you couldn’t handle a few stitches because you pissed off the wrong kid’s eagle, you had to just man up and learn your lesson!

[nooby-banana]

Ooo, I never miss a chance to tell this story! I had a rather unusual first eagle ceremony. The traditional giant American flag that you wave around to summon your eagle had been severely damaged the week prior (a ceremony that had not gone according to plan, but the child only suffered minor talon wounds. The flag took the brunt of the attack).  Anyway, I couldn’t use the normal flag so we had to search ALL OVER for one suitable for eagle summoning. Unfortunately the stripes weren’t the correct shade of patriotic red so everyone was worried an eagle wouldn’t show up at all.  I had to stand in the middle of that wheat field, the wind creating amber waves out of it, shaking that flag in the air for over three hours.  Everyone was just about to give up when suddenly Patriot appeared out of nowhere!  He came to me so quickly it was like he was apologizing for being late.  And we’ve been together ever since.

[avatarjk137]

Some people think it’s excessive to have two eagles.  But what can I say, I’m a two eagles kind of guy.  Well, I can say, “You must be a terrorist to call me out over my excesses,” but I digress.  We don’t have many open fields around here, so I got Liberty by waving my flag atop a decommissioned WWII aircraft carrier.  I was kicking a couple of boxes of tea into the harbor for good measure, and there she was.  I loved her so much I repeated the process a year later and got young Colbert here.  It’s hard work, raising two eagles, but I have two shoulders, after all.  Besides, I know that the secret to happy and healthy eagles is plenty of Bud Light.

[roachpatrol]

Oh man, the eagle ceremony. I was a weird fucking kid, okay, so I was totally sure that the eagle ceremony wasn’t just going to net me my eagle and deepen the mystical bond between a citizen and their country, I thought I was going to get to turn into an eagle too. So me and my mom and my dad and my little brother are all standing in the old civil war battleground, surrounded by the ghosts of our fallen soldiers, and all and the problem here — it’s not usually a problem because I make sure to shave my beard off twice a day, three times on sundays — was that I am, actually, born on the fourth of July. So it wasn’t just one eagle that showed up, it was pretty much every big old patriotic warbird in Missouri, all flapping around confused and pissed off, their innate senses of direction completely fucked up by the way firecracker babies warp America’s natural system of ley lines. And I was six, so grabbed the flag and ran with it over my shoulders, rippling in the wind, thinking it was going to turn into wings for me and I would go be an eagle with all the other eagles. Instead I just got mobbed by a freaked-out mess of nationalistic avians who all weighed more than I did. I lost half my nose and my whole left arm and spent most of fourth grade in reconstructive surgery getting machine guns welded on to the shattered remains of my ulna. Completely missed my little brother’s eagle ceremony, which I will always regret, but it was all worth it to have met Columbia. I never did turn into an eagle on the outside, but I like to think those long hours in the hospital, feeding her rubbing alcohol and my own blood, have made me an eagle in my heart. 

[hudlion]

I usually never reblog long things, but this is worth reading, I swear.

[exitosus-tumorosus-deactivated2]

we americans are fucking sarcastic assholes i love it

[kim-jong-chill]

i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake

[mattheuphonium-blog]

fabulous 

[tockthewatchdog-deactivated2020]

i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.

[niadil]

[blogfrenzy-deactivated20170507]

water is wet

[phycodurus]

the sun is hot

[sueanoi]

leaves are green

[yinx1]

Republicans are white

[tatehorror]

When someone owes you money but you’re too shy to ask for it