Azyrin

I don't really do much. They/Them pwhl side blog @allez-victoire

[awakefor48hours]

Every once in a while, I wish the friendship meter from the Sims was real so that way when people tell me "I used Chat-GPT" they can visually see just how much respect I just lost for them in that moment.

[cannibalchicken]

[icedoatmilkmatcha-deactivated20]

also

[yeahokayillreblogthat]

Yeah okay Ill reblog that!

[aggressivelybicaptainamerica]

Not a scholar at first, but the guy who wrote Jaws hated that people used it to justify hating sharks so much he dedicated the rest of his life to shark research and advocacy.

[ruffboi-mags]

The woman who popularized gender reveals wishes she hadn't, afaik.

[fall1ngfeather]

(afaik- the woman who popularized gender reveals did so because she had a long history of miscarriages. The reveal was a celebration of the fact that one of her pregnancies had gotten far enough that there WAS a physical sex to reveal. It was never intended to be like... *gestures at modern gender reveals* all that. That same kid later came out as trans and yes, the family had a second gender reveal for that lol.)

[4c-aperture]

(x)

[thismachinefucksguitars]

There is another

[no-one-offical]

‎ ‎

[silverhawk]

ugh this picture of a snake peeking around a doorway is my fave this snake just looks so nice 

[medievalsquire]

the stablemaster knows every horse in the city by name but still only refers to me as "boy"

[sugar-pink-poison]

average person explodes 3 times a year" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person explodes 0 times per year. Explosions Doof, who lives in lab & explodes over 10,000 times each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[flightsofwonder]

being an adult is just saying to yourself “this is the weekend i’ll clean my [x]” and then proceeding to not do that because it’s the weekend and you deserve to relax, goddamnit

[flightsofwonder]

why does this have 85K notes

[randomslasher]

because we reblogged it instead of cleaning our [x]

[draconym]

[draconym]

great work everyone hit the bathhouse

[skeletonsiro]

in our copy of hana-bi the subtitles never leave the screen until something else is said

[hickeywiththegoodhair]

dude’s fucking TORN about whether or not to buy a beret

[intothestacks]

Me: *talking to my work buddies about my trip to Brazil this summer to visit family*

Work Buddy: So, where in Brazil are you from, exactly?

Me: From the southeast. My state cradles the states of Rio and São Paulo. It's the mining state, so much so that the name of the state literally means "Lots of Mines".

Work Buddies: *laugh*

Me: If you look at a map of Brazil with the states, it's the one that looks like a witch with a hooked nose. Like, that's how we're taught to recognize it on a map in elementary school.

Work Buddy: *looks up a map of Brazil on her phone* Oh my god, it really does.

People always think I'm joking about the shape of my state. Then they see a map and go "Oh." lol

[headspace-hotel]

She's even got little nose hairs.

[lightningbuster]

It’s funny how sacabambaspis is like the funniest looking animal in every hypothetical except for that one picture that makes me feel like I’m about to be killed

[lakesbian]

[mysteriouslyseeing]

[figure-strawberry]

these are the og images

now, both are inaccurate representations of the animal as these are outdated pictures, if you want to see an accurate version see image below

now I don't wanna ruin your vision of the fish but this is for science

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Fun fact about me is that I'm stupid.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

When I was a child (maybe six years old?) I asked my parents what thoughts were, and they told me "they're the pictures in your head". I agreed like this explained things, but unknown to all of us, I have aphantasia, and since I never had pictures in my head I secretly concluded that I was incapable of thought. The way people talked about thinking made it sound really important, so I went for literal years carefully guarding this secret and when people told me to think about what I was doing etc. I'd stay quiet and pretend I was capable of thinking. I didn't want anyone to find out I couldn't think.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

When I was about eight, my mother's horse ate sand and got colic and she was up all night with him. The next day, I was told that he went to live on a nice farm.

I was in my thirties before I thought back to the situation and realised that Zamada had died.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I was literally too stupid to punish as a child. I have a lot of very clear memories of being sent to sit in a corner or told to stay in a class at recess and my opinion of the situation was 'I guess this is my role in whatever the current school activity is'. It wasn't until I was in high school that I realised that I'd spent so much time in reception and year 1 in time out or detention. Did not even register that that was happening at the time.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I used to have a very strong fear of snakes and when I was a little kid I was, for some reason, under the impression that the snakes had some kind of secret conspiracy where they wanted to kill me. We had frequent power outages (I'm unsure if it was the area's infrastructure or if my parents just couldn't keep up with the electricity bills) and every time the power went out at night I'd jump up on a chair or table or something and refuse to come down until I had light, because I believed that snakes had bitten through the power cables and were swarming across the floor in the dark ready to bite me while I couldn't see them.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I thought that Jesus was just a guy who obtained magical powers by being born on Christmas Day and decided to use his powers to help people. Like a superhero. I didn't know anything about superheroes at the time so when I later learned about Superman and Batman and stuff I was like "oh, like Jesus Christ!"

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

My great grandmother was also born on Christmas day and I could never understand why she either didn't have magic powers, or did but kept lying to me about it.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#read this whole post out to my girlfriend and she went 'these are all different people right'

Okay listen,

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#showed this post to my mom when it was just the first two updates#and then again after the “yes I have autism” update#she read through the whole thing and then scrolled through it twice#growing increasingly confused until she asked me “this is all the same person????”

Everyone's loved ones are so confused by my individuality

[elsiebrayisgay]

"activity is good for EDS patients, i know people with EDS who are ballerinas and figure skaters"

great i'll just go back in time to being 4 years old and be a very active child who was not averse to the pain i already suffered and make sure to push myself to develop strong muscles early enough to avoid the later consequences of my illness & then as a sick person i ought to be a lot more to your liking :^)

[medievaljournalist]

so you know that cursed sword that slowly drives whoever wields it mad & causes mysterious illnesses? you guessed it: scabbard was absolutely loaded with black mold

[retrocgads]

America Online, Inc.

USA 1995

[foone]

fun fact: around this time (1995), I figured out that they would send me free disks when I filled these out. so I saved up my allowance and got address labels made, so every month when I got my PC Magazine I'd slap the address labels on each of these postcardy things, for AOL, Compuserv, Prodigy, etc. Then they'd mail me their demo disks, which I promptly erased and reused for my own floppy purposes

fun fact: prior to figuring out this scheme, I'd tear out the postcards and eat them

[fu-boss]

Real life Road Runner

[sahonithereadwolf]

Looney Tunes is real and happening outside.

[dancing-crow]

good lord its feet really do spin around in a circle when going fast

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Went to Aldi today and there were three checkout counters open and all of them were staffed with people with identical body types and identical nose rings and identical short beards and identical manbuns

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

When I got in line there was one counter open and the line was huge so they opened a couple more while I waited so it was like copies of The Checkout Guy just kept coming out of the stockroom to duplicate his efforts

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

There was also an old woman in there, maybe 80 or 90 years old, and her phone went off and it was the Crazy Frog ringtone. Not the original ringtone. The song version.

[andrewrnease]

In order to have multiple checkout lanes open at the same time, Aldi must resort to illegal humab cloning.

[theyellowbrickroad]

i had the best human interaction of all time last night. i was sitting at a bar eating an appetizer and this guy comes up to order a drink and stares at my food and comments how good it looks. when i am drunk i use the word bitch like it is a comma, i plug it into any space in a sentence possible. so naturally the first thing i say to this stranger is, “go ahead and take one, bitch.”

he looks SO shocked and taken aback and goes “what did you just say? how do you know my name?” so i sit there for a moment trying to figure out what the fuck he is talking about, and then go, “…. bitch?” and he looks so relieved and tells me his name is mitch.

i cannot stop thinking about this. oh my god. imagine going into a bar and someone you know for a fact youve never met approaches you and says “go ahead and take one, mitch.” im cracking the fuck up. he looked like he thought this was the fucking truman show