snazzy.

hi

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

gaining followers pretty fast and that should not be happening i think. tumblr have some restraint. youre embarassing us

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

tumblr please. we have guests. control urself

[oneheadtoanother]

[queer-as-city-folk]

"He did it in broad daylight" as opposed to male daylight?

[queer-as-city-folk]

This feels like it's an unoriginal joke honestly

[advanced-passenger-train]

He did it in bloke daylight

[queer-as-city-folk]

That's the way I should have written this bad joke, thank you

[chucktaylorupset]

They won't even let you do things in broad daylight anymore. Because of bloke

[sandersstudies]

Great news everyone. There was a kitten wandering in the drive thru at work and my inner warrior cats kid tried to be a hero and capture him.

I have now suffered multiple puncture wounds and have to go to the emergency room.

[sandersstudies]

Me: I shall become his mother and gain his trust

Me talking to an animal control officer five minutes later: he is a nasty horrid little boy and I am bleeding heavily

[sandersstudies]

Animal control officer on the phone: So he’s in your car with you?

Me: Um. It’s his car now and he’s very mad at me.

[sandersstudies]

Second animal control officer: oh you captured him and got him in your car? He’s friendly?

Me, my right hand completely wrapped in paper towels: wouldn’t say that

[sandersstudies]

Urgent Care Nurse: Wow it’s strange he managed to get you so many times.

Me: I uh. Did not let go.

[borgesperovago]

You vibe as someone prone to toxic relationships

[sandersstudies]

People on tumblr will just say anything huh.

[borgesperovago]

Oh cmon, "he hurt me a lot cause i couldn't let go" absolutely has double interpretation.

[sandersstudies]

Me, holding a cat (of unknown gender) as it repeatedly digs its little teeth deep into my flesh: Is this… too… yuri?

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

This website is free

[naamahdarling]

We pay in other ways.

[tiktaalic]

Can I speak my truth. I don’t think Brienne is even a little gay. I think she’s a kinsey zero who false positives on everyone’s radar. I think if you dropped brienne into new age 2024 she would get treated as a lesbian in her day to day life but whenever a woman liked her she’d be like. Ummmmmmm I’m really sorry but I don’t. Feel like that. I think she’d give lesbianism the good old college try bc of the direness of her male love life and come down firmly on the side of not attracted to women. I think she is quintessential pnw woman who you think is a slam dunk homerun lesbian based on everything about her who drops the word husband on you. I think she gets clocked on sight and mentions a partner named Jaime which makes people go. Okay. Partner i know that game. Jamie easily the name of a lesbian. Easily. And then she drops the he pronouns and you go. Well. Could still be a weird lesbian. And then Jaime is a business major in a frat with generational wealth. And HE is the kinsey five in the relationship.

[lesbostomping]

some award winning thoughts from the tags

[my-darling-boy]

If you were the handsome blonde flag bearer in yellow at the Battle of Prestonpans Jacobites Rising of 1745 I’m sorry if I knew you and didn’t recognise you if that’s why you kept staring at me, I didn’t want to wave during the battle and look like a fool

[my-darling-boy]

THIS WAS A REENACTMENT

[shittynewyorkercartooncaptions]

[professorsparklepants]

op change your url

[ruinedchildhood]

[utopians]

life becomes so beautiful when you start cooking rice in liquids other than water

[utopians]

put that basmati rice in the cooker with coconut cream and chicken stock and an entire onion that you've diced and sauteed with garlic until transparent. and some salt and pepper. Trust me

[youaremyeverlovin]

[effemimaniac]

"Uncle Benadryl's one minute rice" one minute what? awake? left to live?

[hubblegleeflower]

New Tumblr is now such that I cannot just go to the post with the recipe but must reblog the gatorade and uncle benadryl if I ever hope to make rice with coconut cream.

[sroloc--elbisivni]

a fun fact i can post now: the glasgow subway ticket machines have had a little sticker added to them that says they don't accept the new king charles bank notes and if you have those you have to go to the counter to use them. i assume the keyword here is new and this is because the image-recognition of the cash machine can't for whatever reason be quickly updated to accept novel currency as legitimate. but frankly it's more fun to imagine the machines have refused to accept the transfer of power and are just straight up committing treason on purpose.

[mandywondering]

[pigswithwings]

If you don't feel interested in romance, don't often have crushes, or dislike the idea of romance in general, I have news for you: Rare Sierra Nevada Red Fox Spotted In Southern Sierra Area For First Time In Nearly A Century

[mapsontheweb]

The world by the presence or absence of ants in the wild

[a-book-of-creatures]

Myrmecocracy keeps winning

[facts-i-just-made-up]

Wait then why the hell is it called ANTarctica??

[a-book-of-creatures]

Named in preparation of the upcoming invasion no doubt.

[facts-i-just-made-up]

[enki2]

[rslashrats]

[simonalkenmayer]

The little directional nose and skinny legs get me. What a horrifying little charmer. I like him well.

[gumi-megpoidd]

Waow taht is a creachur

[thatqueerchoirkid]

that is one of the most animals

[wolfwoodbignaturals]

well that certainly is a Thing

[crying-piglin]

Well, It's That

[demonic-mnemonic]

If I saw one of these in a sci-fi or fantasy movie I would just accept them as a made up part of the fantasy without question. The possibility of them being a real thing would never even enter my head

[roach-works]

good news! it's real and it's a black and rufous elephant shrew and it's god's gift to your dashboard

[galahadwilder]

So I just made a joke that "more women should poison their husbands" to my cool boss and then immediately found out that he got divorced because he was poisoned by his ex-wife

[galahadwilder]

I'm apologizing profusely and he's like "oh it's fine it was funny" and then he offhandedly mentions that his next girlfriend tried to poison him also

[jasontoddsguns]

Yeah this is going to break containment babe.

[galahadwilder]

[himynameisemail]

[men-iss-vess-ull-deactivated202]

so called "free thinkers" when there's a bug on the ceiling