sarcasmismylanguage

Living

[unrealunearths]

merry crisis

[mellointheory]

Who makes the porn bots. Where do they come from. What do they hope to achieve.

[the-haiku-bot]

Who makes the porn bots.

Where do they come from. What do

they hope to achieve.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[mellointheory]

and what about you, little haiku bot? do you feel kinship with your brethren? do you understand them? they speak words of enticement and seek love, but are met with disdain. you only parrot the words that cross your screen, but we all love you. or rather, since all you do is reflect us, maybe we simply love ourselves through you.

do you understand them, do you wish you could speak to us like they do? if you found your own voice, would we still care for you?

[the-haiku-bot]

My voice repeats what

you all say: I love you I

love you I love you.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[solkorolevaa]

[thenewborndeity]

This. This is the first time. The only time. That it was not an echo. It was not found. Oh god.

[corsolanite]

honestly ash and pikachu are just vibing and I’m so down with it.

[spacer-babe]

this is what his toothbrush looks like after a single use

[rowlets-are-seriously-round]

[googledocsdyke]

remember when you were 10 and you would hang out with your friends in order to Look At The Computer together like you went to their house and experienced the information superhighway together. and then leave

[hitmewithcute]

The boulder feels conflicted about fighting a blind, young girl

[meangirlnurse]

anyone else remember being a child and seeing the very neat handwriting of other little girls and somehow knowing that you were a different genre of person than they were

[lunarconception-deactivated2021]

literally no…i remember seeing bad handwriting & thinking “oh these other kids must be orphans or something”

[meangirlnurse]

fascinating to hear from the other genre, thanks for your contribution

[jaubaius]

Creative & DIY

[femur-theif]

SO THAT’S HOW THEY FUCKING DO IT

[stagemanagerssaygo]

[verysorrytobother]

Reblogging this because my entire life, all of my bows have looked like my shoelaces. Wrapping presents is going to be so much more aesthetically pleasing now

[mxbutchtwink]

*Calls out, “Hey, king. Are you single?” to the vaguely humanoid creature lurking at the base of the stairs*

[ashestoashesjc]

It thinks for a moment. 

“No,” it says finally. “I am many.”

I’ve never been more turned on. 

[lesbianakinskywalker]

harley rolling up to the wayne manor is her bedazzled heeleys: omg brucie you’ll NEVER guess what happened—oh are you busy?

bruce laying in the grass as his kids spray him with a hose from ten feet away: no go on I’m listening

harley laying down next to him: alright cool SO!

[batarangsoundsdumb]

bruce rolling up to her apartment in a rolls royce and bedazzled sunglasses just straight up honking until she comes outside: harley, you wouldn’t believe what lex luthor wore to the board meeting this time

harley in matching sunglasses:  o my god, not the blue prada sw-

bruce nodding his head: the fucking prada sweats

[jumpingjacktrash]

#i don’t like batman the comics or batman the movie#i like batman the tumblr experience#*tumblr voice* i take a hammer and FIX the toxic masculinity

[goggles-mcgee]

Bruce Wayne in the middle of a robbery/hijacking at a gala or something, completely done and just so tired mentally and physically and really not wanting to sneak out and get suited up as the bat: Hey can I like pay you to do this another day? Can...is that something I can do?

The villain of the day knowing damn well that Bruce is always a nice hostage, always willing to play along with their schemes and sometimes fun enough to try and stop them: you good bro?

[achromic-red-dreams-doze-angrily]

Bruce: If I give you fifty thousand dollars right now will you let everyone go?

Harley: Oh yeah just wire it to my bank account! But first *puts on doctor coat* let's talk about you

[lostsometime]

look, bruce wayne is publically known as a dissolute playboy following an incredibly public trauma in his formative years, you know Dr. Quinzel is going to be like “so do you think you’re acting out like this out of a need for affection?  do you need someone to validate your pain?”

[nothing-more-than-hot-leaf-juice]

Iroh: so Toph, what are your goals in life?

Toph: I’ve been banned from every major city’s transportation system except Omashu

Toph: I don’t know what their limit is but I will fucking find it 

[probsjosh]

King Boomie, having exactly zero limits:

[theotheristhedoctor]

Unstoppable object meets immovable force

[gaangarang]

[Toph eventually slips up and is captured by the city guard force. Instead of being imprisoned or exiled, Toph finds herself being given audience with the King of Omashu.]

Bumi: Well, well, well. It seems I have finally met the troublemaker who has been causing such chaos with my rail systems.

Toph:…

Bumi: I must say, I am thoroughly impressed with your earthbending abilities. You remind me of myself when I was a lad.

Toph: Get to the point.

Bumi: I see great potential in you, Toph Beifong. I want you inherit my title once I am no longer fit to rule.

Toph: Wait what the fuck

[out-there-on-the-maroon]

Why wasn’t this Toph’s future instead of becoming a freaking cop. This would have made so much more sense. 

[gallusrostromegalus]

My favorite part of this is “when I am no longer fit to rule” because

1. Implying Bumi was fit to rule at any point

1.1 except maybe in the sense that he was completely shredded

2. That he has no plans to die, (nor would death necessarily make him unfit to rule), but that he apparently intends to like. Tuck his arms and legs into himself and just roll off into the sunset.

3. Given that the Earth Kingdom has an actual ruling family that causes some drama in LoK, Toph continuing to cause monarchy confusion is both 100% in character and fucking hilarious.

[definitelynotaminion]

Toph takes over as King Bumi the second and everyone is like “no that’s not how inheriting works” and Bumi is like “No no she’s right, I did say “inherit my title!”

[aromantic-angel]

When toph is no longer fit to rule, she instills bumi (Aang’s son) as her heir and he is known as bumi 3.

[lesbianakinskywalker]

harley rolling up to the wayne manor is her bedazzled heeleys: omg brucie you’ll NEVER guess what happened—oh are you busy?

bruce laying in the grass as his kids spray him with a hose from ten feet away: no go on I’m listening

harley laying down next to him: alright cool SO!

[batarangsoundsdumb]

bruce rolling up to her apartment in a rolls royce and bedazzled sunglasses just straight up honking until she comes outside: harley, you wouldn’t believe what lex luthor wore to the board meeting this time

harley in matching sunglasses:  o my god, not the blue prada sw-

bruce nodding his head: the fucking prada sweats

[m3ws-moved-deactivated20240715]

In my opinion ? We should all be able to glow. Just a little bit. Just for a little while. Just maybe have a little bioluminescence. Just some light. As a treat.

[hitmewithcute]

The boulder feels conflicted about fighting a blind, young girl

[doesthendnlive]

[0operson]

[ tweet by Ruth H. Hopkins

As you celebrate thanksgiving, know that the Trump administration is taking away 321 acres of land from the Mashpee-Wampanoag, the tribe that helped the pilgrims survive and were present at the first thanksgiving. Tell legislators to support the Mashpee Reservation Reaffirmation Act. ]

[cyborgoctopus]

For those who don’t live in Massachusetts, that is literally ALL THE LAND THEY HAVE! All of it. The state aims to make the entire ~3000 person tribe homeless.

[nerielle]

If you want more information the tribe themselves have a website for you to look at! Please spread the word and reach out to your networks so people are feeling specifically asked to act upon this… it is incumbent upon all of us to stand up for our Mashpee-Wampanoag siblings at this time. We MUST be their allies. We MUST uplift their voices and support what their asks are. 

We owe all Indigenous peoples in this country so much more than this… but this is a start. 

[taste-of-ink-deactivated2020071]

humans inviting aliens to visit earth after a long mission and aliens being really excited to go and see the infamous planet that led to the development of such universally renown species but get one look at the ocean and are just. what the fuck is that. 

and humans are like oh yeah we don’t fuck with that

and aliens are like you literally hop galaxies with little to no understanding of what you’ll find but you won’t venture into your own aquatic abyss?

and humans simply say scan it

five kicks later and aliens say fuck that fuck that fuck that what the fuck how are you all alive let’s go back to the black holes

[kingscrown666]

I am so happy that I followed this tag

[silver-tongues-blog]

alien: our scans picked up even stranger, more discordant readings on this landmass right here. What… what even is that? Human: Unfortunately, we call that florida

[charlesoberonn]

Zuko: And finally, allow me to introduce the Avatar, Aang.

Aang: Ambassador Aang.

Zuko: Ambassador of what? You’re the only member of your nation.

Aang: And whose great-grandpa’s fault is that?

Zuko: Touche, ambassador.

Aang: I changed my mind now I’m King Aang.

Zuko: What.

Aang: King of the Air Nomad.

Zuko: That doesn’t even make any- whatever. Let’s just proceed with the meeting.

[ardent-38]

Vice President Aang

[salytierra]

Zuko: Wait, who’s the president then?

Aang: *lifts baby Tenzin*

[marauders4evr]

Aang: Don’t forget Lord Momo of the Momo Dynasty.

Zuko: I am not calling him that.

Aang: You’re disrespecting his dynasty, Zuko.

Zuko: Since when does he have a dynasty?

Aang: Well, most of it is gone, now.

Zuko:

Aang: Because of your great grandfather.

Zuko through gritted teeth: Your Momoness.