benevolence

he/they. if i liked your post, it’s probably languishing in a queue somewhere.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring

[krystal-prisms]

Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

So after extensive interrogation I have an update:

my mom is in fact aware that dandelions exist. she temporarily forgot the name and there was some miscommunication.

the truth is actually weirder

she’s aware dandelions look like this

she is familiar with this flower. she knows the name of this flower. she declines to believe, however, that these are also dandelions

she does not believe these are the same plant. I tried to explain, and she thought I was either misinformed or lying. so I asked her what exactly did she think the yellow ones were called?

she answered, with complete confidence: Daffodils.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

gosh I enjoy this website

[authoratmidnight]

For comparison, this is a daffodil

[quietlygrousing]

See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i don’t think so? i’m southern and buttercups are what we call these things (much tinier)

[maejacrezz007]

Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???

[fractiousrvt]

This is an Easter Lily. It is an actual lily and therefore deadly to cats.

[blood-trip-god2]

They’re marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!

[delphinidin4]

This is a marigold:

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u

[jmtorres]

“buttercups” is a name applied to MANY flowers. in my part of the south it was this one:

imo there’s correct identifications of dandelions, daffodils, easter lilies and marigolds in this thread, but buttercups are simply impossible to agree on and the only solution is for everyone to post pictures of their local buttercups

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

*squints* is that a motherfucking EVENING PRIMROSE?!??

[demon-and-human]

Hello I would like to add to the confusion:

That purple fella is a Morning Glory as told by my mothers (texan)

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

⬆️ morning glory

[mikkeneko]

#great work everyone hit the flowers - @janedrewfinally

[totallynotgayforyou]

[petrichordiam]

@solipseismic thank u for the insight 🫡

[thethirdromana]

The worst types of cookbook:

The Ottolenghi - it is vital that you use 1g of this very expensive ingredient. It comes from a 500g bag with a one-week shelf life.

The time machine - 15-minute recipe! First, leave to marinate overnight...

The dishwasher - one-pot recipe! Now decant your ingredients and wipe out your pot. And again. And again. And again.

The optimist - cook the onions until caramelised (2 minutes).

The kindergarten teacher - get one nommable little tree of broccoli and bosh that into boiling water. Delish!

The brand names only - ingredients: Ritz crackers, Philadelphia cheese, Cool Whip, orange Jell-o...

The 1950s palate - use one (1) clove of garlic and a small pinch of chili flakes (omit if preferred).

The why bother with a cookbook - to make beans on toast, gently heat a tin of beans and put on top of freshly buttered toast.

[wizardshark]

99% of queer discourse stops right before they define the true difference between bisexual and pansexual!

[saspitite]

FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME

BISEXUALS GROW FROM THE GROUND

PANSEXUALS GROW FROM THE CEILING

[elizapad]

Happy Pride, cave dwellers 🦇

[smallpotatoes-dandelions]

I don't know how to articulate this well, but I really fucking hate the way a lot of thin writers write fat characters. Like how men write women "breasting boobily" there is something so dehumanizing about how fat characters are often written. "He waddled", "he lumbered", the writer of the book I'm reading always mentions this characters "fleshy hand" when he does something with his hand. Like, we already know that he's fat. There is no need to describe everything he does as "doing it fatly".

[sulkybender-retired04042026]

*fishes this absolute treasure from the tags*

[majestictortoise]

outsiders and boring normal people and fandom newbies always think that buckwild kinky porn fanfiction is the strangest fandom hobby but they are wrong.

the strangest fandom hobby is plotty fanfiction, the kind that requires research, because engaging in this hobby makes no goddamned sense.

it doesn’t even give anybody masturbation material, which is at least a logical and admirable goal that contributes to the betterment of society, or at least society’s solitary orgasms.

in other news i hope the cia spyware monitoring my internet usage understands that i’m googling information about smuggling drugs in thailand because i want the details to be right in a single paragraph in a 10,000 word story about a gay mafia guys.

[majestictortoise]

this post has been making the rounds again and i just want to state for the record that it is a fucking delight to read in the tags all the random things people research for their fanfic and art. fandom, i love you. i love you with your flood maps and medical procedures and tentacle biology and historical fashion and traditional handcrafts and conlangs and urban geography and literally everything else. i am completely sincere about this. the enthusiasm with which people embrace detailed, deep, and often obscure research, just because they want to get it right, because they want to create something rich and interesting, it makes me feel better about the world. i adore it.

[power-handmaiden]

when I was in high school I had a literature teacher who had a policy of unlimited extra credit. All you had to do was read a book by a notable author (his discretion) and have a little chat with him after school to prove that you read it. No limits, no need for variety (one month I decided I really loved Kurt Vonnegut and just read everything of his I could get my hands on).

Yes, I was tearing through books constantly, and talking to this teacher at least weekly. Because even though I always loved reading as a kid, literature was always a very weak subject for me in terms of a teaching-to-standardized-test school setting (I just do awful on "what color were the curtains" type multiple choice questions. Those details don't stick in my memory THEY JUST DON'T). But that didn't matter for this class. I could just read my way out of any bad test score. I have always had fond memories of how I "fudged" my way through that class and "abused' the extra credit policy.

I was thinking about it again today, and only just now realized that he absolutely tricked me into being well-read, while my teenage self thought I was totally getting away with something. THAT MOTHERFUCKER. I hope he's doing well.

[luulapants]

Story time:

In middle school biology, we did an experiment. We were given yams, which we would sprout in cups of water. We then had to make hypotheses about how the yams would grow, based on descriptions of yam plants in our books, and make notes of our observations as they grew.

Here’s what was supposed to happen: we were supposed to see that the actual growth of the plant did not resemble our hypotheses. We were then supposed to figure out that these were, in fact, sweet potatoes.

What actually happened was that every single student in every single class lied in their notes so that their observations perfectly matched their hypotheses. See, everyone assumed the mismatch meant they had done something wrong in the process of growing the plant or that they had misunderstood the dichotomous key or the plant identification terminology. And, thanks to the wonders of a public school education, everyone assumed the wrong results would get us a failing grade. We were trying to pass. We didn’t want to get bitched out by the teacher. Curiosity, learning, science - that had nothing to do with why we were sitting in that classroom. So we all lied.

The teacher was furious. She tried to fail every student, but the administration stepped in and told her she wasn’t allowed to because a 100% fail rate is recognized as a failure of the teacher, not the class. It wasn’t even her fault, really, though her being a notorious hard-ass didn’t help. It was a failure of the entire educational system.

So whenever I see crap like Elizabeth Holmes’s blood test scam or pharmaceutical trials which are unable to be replicated or industry-funded research that reaches wildly unscientific conclusions, I just remember those fucking sweet potatoes. I remember that curiosity dies when people are just trying to give their superiors the “right” answers, so they can get the grade, get the job, get the paycheck. It’s not about truth when it’s about paying rent. There’s no scientific integrity if you can’t control for human desperation.

[d8tl55c]

!!! i have a science story like this (good ending?)

you might be aware of the gene OR6A2 which, when expressed, makes “the aldehyde part of cilantro” taste like soap. there’s another one associated with broccoli. here’s a 2008 NPR article on the subject. we were very aware of it in high school Introduction to Biotechnology bc our teacher got us little test strips with one of those specific chemicals on them, and yep,

some students said soap, some students said nope.

no penalty for either side, obviously, bc the point was to be precise about your answer because we were about to test our own DNA (AWESOME) for the presence of one of the markers that controls soaptaste.

this was going to be awesome.

we had all learned muchly about DNA structure and gel electrophoresis and things and this was the big application step: hypothesize about your family members, yourself, and learn something about your internal code!!! cool!!!!!

so, to do gel electrophoresis, you need to put the whole setup in a warm bath with this protein which snips apart the DNA in specific places. DNA is magnetic, and the strands of different lengths are dragged with magnetic fields through the gel, with longer pieces being dragged more-strongly (which translates to distance traveled in the gel).

the company who gave our school the proteins fucked them up.

everyone’s results were ruined.

the whole class, indiscriminately.

so wha happened ?

teacher was honest with us, fast: turns out the only way you can know the protein supply broke for sure on tight school time is to test it on all the students :( sorry guys. so, this was an incredible opportunity to teach us the following science concept:

you can finish your report if part of the process broke.

she had us describe exactly what we saw (sad busted gels) and carefully write in our lab notebooks what we expected and what must have gone wrong and why. there were control bands that no one saw because the snipping didn’t occur, which means … this.

and then it was over. students got points just like normal, for writing out the process thoroughly.

you gotta understand how pissed i was that i couldn’t know my results—this was the coolest shit in our schedule, using our own DNA—but now i’m realizing the sense of safety i was gifted in that class. that was a good teacher, being honest about the circumstances, thinking on her feet, and teaching us how to own a failure. that’s some life knowledge. that’s some SCIENCE.

⠀

i really liked shaking the micropipettes. they have this perfect weight distribution for shakey shakey shakey by the wrist.

yeah, intro biotech ruled.

[canichangemyblogname]

This June, I need Gen Z queers to understand that some people are closeted.

[canichangemyblogname]

I am saying this as a Gen Z queer, before y’all get your guns out to fucking shoot me.

But I need y’all to understand that if someone doesn’t give you their government name in a queer space, it’s not because they’re “mysterious,” and you do not have permission to take it upon yourself to figure out their “real identity” and go digging for them online like a private investigator. First, that’s creepy and a violation of privacy and reasonable boundaries. Second, some of us keep our private and professional lives very separate because we need to keep food on the fucking table and a roof over our heads, and our private life could jeopardize that.

[canichangemyblogname]

“Why won’t you tell me about your parents?” “Why can’t I know your real name?” “Where do you work?”

1.) Not all our parents would bake us a fucking cake when we come out. Some of us are closeted. Surely you understand this? You also do not need to know my parent’s names or occupations; we are both adults. I do not need nor want to mix you and my private life with my parents and my public life.

2.) Trans people do not owe you their dead name or government name

3.) I’m not telling you for the sake of job security. I am a government fucking caseworker working amidst a fucking lavender panic!

“There’s no way you’re a different person outside this; you’re still you at your core. What harm is there—”

No, I am a completely different person. A different person with a different personality and different interests and a different name and presentation. I am a completely different person because I keep this life and my public life private to avoid fracturing 90% of my interpersonal relationships and 100% of my professional ones.

“You’re not out? But you’re so confident.”

See— that’s part of the issue. Y’all assume someone is in the closet because they hate themselves or lack self-identity. Some of us know exactly who we are, but need to prioritize financial stability or else our entire life gets exponentially harder immediately.

[canichangemyblogname]

You meet queer people over the age of 40 and one of the first/earliest questions is “who knows?”

I need y’all to start bringing that energy. Because it’s not always safe for someone to be out and not everyone is safe to be out around.

There is a misnomer that “the closet” inherently means “doesn’t know they’re queer” and not “isn’t out widely and publicly.” “Outness” is often a patchwork.

[libraford]

Googled something about quick hydration and it suggested big jug of water, couple tbsp pickle juice, dash of lime juice.

Its surprisingly tasty????

[libraford]

Pleased to report that after a day of this i am not longer craving caper brine and my mouth is not dry as usual. There's some good suggestions in the notes too that I want to try.

-ancient roman posca: water, red or white wine vinegar, honey, salt, herbs (coriander, mint, thyme)

-switchel: water, ginger, vinegar, sweetener, lemon, salt

-ayran: yogurt, water, salt, mint

-Agua pepino: water, cucumbers, lime, sugar, optional mint.

[libraford]

I have been reminded of:

-shrub: vinegar, sida water, elderberry (or other berry), sugar.

[libraford]

I have now been informed of

-sekanjabin: honey, vinegar, mint, water.

[libraford]

"Wow, I wonder why this post was popular this week."

-sees the reports of the heatwave in Europe-

"... ah."

[imsobadatnicknames2]

I just think it's funny that the people who bitch the most about imperialism are among the people least directly affected by it. Yeah, people farming bananas for Chiquita or whatever are victims of economic US imperialism, but you're not farming bananas for Chiquita, you're a college-educated man currently living in a major city who self-admittedly comes from a comparatively privileged family background, and who would probably be considered racialized in the US, but not in your home country, you're not actually materially affected by imperialism in any direct way.

The job I just started is as a Spanish-English interpreter for an US-based language interpreting service company that outsources labor to other countries.

My job involves being a language interpreter on calls for emergency services, medical services insurance firms, banks, utility services, hospitality services, and others. This means I not only have to speak both languages fluently, but also be familiar enough with highly technical terms and concepts for all of these areas in both languages to be able to mentally translate them quickly (since we ideally should take no more than 5 seconds between the end of the message we heard and the beginning of our translation of it).

I get paid $4 USD an hour for it.

Would someone performing this highly technical and mentally demanding labor in the US get paid a little over half minimum wage for it? Is there perhaps some kind of systematic global inequality that allows a US-based company to save money by exploiting the labor of people like me in countries like mine at a cheaper price than they'd be able to exploit that of a US citizen?

[imsobadatnicknames2]

Also if you think about it for two seconds I think you can probably figure out why the people you most often encounter "bitching about imperialism" in a place you can see in a language you can understand are people like me rather than people farming bananas for Chiquita. Is it perhaps that the more socially and economically disadvantaged someone in Latin America is the less able they are to be able to come post on Tumblr in English?

[autistobrat]

scientists are experimenting on cross-breeding a crab and a cheetah; things could go sideways real fast

[mclennonyaoi]

when i was really little and had just learned how to write my full name . i noticed my twin brother had really messy handwriting. while mine was like … as nice as it could be for a little kid. so i wrote my name in his handwriting on a wall and i waited to see who our parents would get mad at . and they blamed him. and that was when my life of crime began

[mclennonyaoi]

all joking aside it’s really funny that like little kids do things like that sometimes . my mom would look at her phone everytime she was at a red light so i got into the habit of saying “green” once the light changed so she would know . one day i was like “i wonder if i say green while it’s red if she’ll go” and so i did . and she did . and i got yelled at real bad

[mclennonyaoi]

though looking back on it what the hell was she doing relying on like a five year old . who was a chronic shoplifter and liar . for that . i’m surprised we didn’t get into more accidents

[servingpussy]

My mom is Deaf so when I was like 5 I plugged all the drains in the bathroom with towels & toilet paper and turned the bathtub and sink on full blast before we went out to go shopping cause I knew she wouldn’t hear it and I flooded the entire house for no reason

[mclennonyaoi]

ok that is some nasty shit i can’t even believe the amount of damage that would’ve done 😭

[mclennonyaoi]

[were--ralph]

Pee in a cup and leave it outside near ants - if they avoid it's probably not diabetes, if they seem interested, you might have sugar in your pee and should get checked out

what the fuck is this 1200's medical science 101

[spacecaptainglow]

As a specimen processor who checks body fluids for a living I can confirm this is a real, vaguely accurate ancient way of checking for diabetes that dates back at least to Pliny the Elder

[were--ralph]

no i know it's real but this isn't the middle ages I can literally go to the UC or ER if i need to?? why would i resort back to this

[were--ralph]

actually nvm the American healthcare system is absolutely too expensive you're right

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

it's cheap it's easy and it's free: giving urine samples to your ants

[status-quo-hater]

This version of the progress flag legitimately looks so nice

Gilbert baker rainbow, huge intersex circle, the design is cluttered but in a good way 10/10

[ID: A version of the progress pride flag with a large purple intersex ring outlined in gold, looping through pink, blue, brown, and black chevrons on the side, which have a base of white. The horizontal stripes are: pink, red, orange, yellow, green, light blue, dark blue, and purple. End ID.]

[kira-serialfaggot]

It's happening the morphing into Ohio

[the-lumpfish-queen]

[yuriwinged]

[autistic-af]

[jam-does-audio]

Girls. That's the original image. We've come full circle. It's always just been the state of Ohio

[14-opossums-in-a-trenchcoat]

Love when people accidentally recreate the meme like with the "fuck this post and happy birthday Sonic" one

[fluorescentbrains]

this lab safety training module is sending me

[fluorescentbrains]

I feel like whoever wrote these questions was speaking from experience

[libraford]

There have been a couple times that someone who has rented out a park has seen me performing maintenance and said 'ah yes, the parks people are my personal event staff.'

Like my first year, I was cleaning a bathroom and a woman in charge told me 'if anyone asks, the bounce house wont be open until 10.'

"I actually cant stay."

"Why not?"

"Because I have 13 other parks to clean."

So my boss got an angry call about how I was rude and he's like 'well... she had 13 other parks to clean.'

People do think we're their personal staff, or that we are assigned to one single park per day. Its really annoying.