Mars Crab is real and I love him. @bennygoblin - Tumblr Blog

moon's haunted

theres no difference between exercise and black magic both of them hurt your body at first and drain you of energy but the more you dabble in it the more powerful you become

urulokid

this is the most inspiring thing i have ever read

dontlistentothemmoose

reblog to reclaim your power

couch to 5k necromancy

wizard-council-bureaucrat

You are not supposed to tell people this

jayscarraway

everyone who menstruates should get 5000 dollars per period just for living through it i think

maxknightley

When I played Roller Coaster Tycoon as a kid, I would often pore through the guest list looking for the most miserable people in the park. Then, since I didn't want them to bring down my park rating, I would pick them up and drop them in a water feature - a dead guest can't be an unhappy guest, after all.

In retrospect, I think child me was on the cusp of a powerful realization about economics, politics... possibly even theology. Depression, anxiety, and anger can be fatal, after all.

ask and you shall receive.

gayvampyr

helloitsbees

How did you give yourself an EAR INFECTION eating pussy

im just gonna screenshot from a text i sent my friends after the doctors visit

helloitsbees

you can’t fucking do this to me

pointless-achievements

Achievement Unlocked:

A Noble Sacrifice

Never has there been a more righteous and honorable way to get an ear infection.

artistformerlyknownasbutttrumpet

i just started listening to hozier (ik, like over a decade late, whatever), but bruh. some of y'all did this dude so dirty. everything i've ever seen of him on here has been like "uwu magical forest man" and so my black ass goes into it expecting white boy indie music, but instead i get this radical leftist irish guy straight up singing the blues, like?? (singing the blues/having a lot of blatantly black musical influences, BUT crediting his influences in the process, which is a an important distinction)

like y'all. has anyone told tiktok what kind of music this man actually makes? bc some of them might be shooketh to find out their precious forest man is actually telling them to dismantle the oppressive institution of colonialism while actively paying homage to artists of color

well, that and also to eat pussy, but same thing tbh

homunculus-argument

"But won't children be confused by all the LGBT-"

Yesterday I saw a mother with a baby carriage, being followed by a girl of about 4-6 years old on a bicycle. The kid started ringing her bike bell like RING RING RING RING RING RING RING, and the mother turned to look behind them to see whether they were being followed by a cyclist who desperately needs to pass them for the sake of everyone's safety.

And the little girl - who just rang the goddamn bell herself 5 seconds ago - also turned to look.

Kids are confused by everything at all times. They don't know jack shit. About anything.

jumpingjacktrash

i remember being like 8 or 9 and being told that my dad’s ex-wife was no longer diane and we were to address her as daniel now. my reaction: “ok.”

me and my brother later had a small discussion about whether that could happen randomly (conclusion: no, he probably had to file papers or something) and whether daniel should now be referred to as dad’s ex-husband (conclusion: yes but only to see the face he’ll make) but at no point did we find it like... alarming? the world is big and weird. we were used to it.

finding out a sorta-relative could just change genders off camera, as it were, was a whole lot less head-splodey than finding out there were no squirrels in australia!

scattered-to-the-winds

There’s no what

ashfae

"Won't they be confused by all the--" So what if they are? Life is often confusing. That's part of how we learn. Part of the job of an adult is to help confused kids learn and understand things. There's no obligation to protect the kids from the confusing things. Quite the reverse.

In my experience anyone using this BS excuse isn't worried about a child's potential confusion, but their own, which they don't want to admit to having.

indieninja92

theres no squirrels in australia???

poppitron360

I was more confused about the concept of escalators as a kid than the idea that my grandad had a new husband

just-being-all-bi-myself

okay but ARE there squirrels in australia or not????

starborncritter

there’s not! never saw any until i went to europe for the first time

hyperpotamianarch

I don't know why it's so surprising. There's no squirrels where I live either, and I'm in the same general continental continuity as Europe. Australia has unique flora and fauna.