Girls deserve better.

Feminist without a specific label, but radical leaning. Porn-critical, kink-critical, Marxist-Leninist, trans-inclusive. Still learning and exploring my ideologies further, so these labels may change as I gather more information. Happy to learn from others who want to discuss in good faith!

[betterwurld]

Intro/About Me

This blog was intended to be mostly an account I used to explore ideas, but I've been using a bit more actively, so here's a post I'll pin. Call me Pia. I am in my 30s. I am a bisexual woman in a queer relationship. Anyone who's hostile will be immediately blocked. I don't mind views being challenged, but I won't tolerate violence, harassment and vitriol. I am very invested in feminist action and education right now. As my description says, I am radical-leaning. Here is a more detailed list of my current stances on issues (may change as I learn more about things!)

I do not subscribe specifically to any branch of feminism exclusively, but I align most with Marxist feminism, while also taking a lot from radical feminism ideology. Because I don't subscribe rigidly to any specific feminist label, I will likely not align perfectly with your specific views, even if we share similar labels. I am OK with that, so I hope you can be too. Let's learn from each other and share ideas, not send death threats.

I am trans-inclusive of both trans women and trans men, but acknowledge that all people, including trans men and women, have the potential to engage in behavior that is dangerous and misogynistic to AFAB bodies based on the way society teaches us to view and treat said bodies. I do not believe this behavior is inherent nor permanent to any human being, regardless of birth sex; I think it's something that is a result of socialization, that needs to be unpacked and addressed, similar to any other type of prejudice that is learned through societal upbringings.

I subscribe to sex-based oppression as a major facet of my feminist viewpoint, and do not view acknowledging sex-based oppression as incompatible with the existence or rights of trans individuals.

I am a gender abolitionist, in that my ideal future is one where gender does not exist at all. In my ideal future, sex is only relevant in medical settings where relevant, but not socially or legally relevant in any way. In this ideal future of mine, gender or sex would have no bearing on society's expectations of us as individuals; from clothing choices, to employment, to stereotypes of behaviors. I understand that we are still a VERY long ways out from a world like this, but this is the world I am fighting for.

My biggest area of focus currently is on cultural grooming via superstructure (porn, media, fandom culture, etc.), as this is a topic I am very versed in and have a deep personal history with. I am a victim of various forms of CSA and exploitation as a result of my exposure and subsequent addiction to lolicon pornography as a very young child. I believe media/the arts are some of the most powerful tools we have to influence the world around us; and obviously this is something many agree with, seeing as how desperately obviously bad actors defend their right to contribute anything they want to the cultural zeitgeist through it. Thus, I think it is our responsibility as a culture to be mindful of what harmful ideologies we allow to flourish in our media, especially mainstream media.

I am porn-critical and kink-critical, but not exactly fully anti-either. I do not think the concept of erotica is inherently harmful. That is, I don't necessarily take issue with consensual sexual depictions of adults. The issues I see with porn boil down to: 1) the human trafficking and exploitation present in the sex industry as a result of capitalistic systems, 2) the fetishization of sexual violence and degradation, LARGELY aimed at women and children and 3) the ease of access very young children have to extreme, violent, degrading pornography, that shapes and educates their sexual behavior as they enter puberty. Thus, my activism is focused largely at addressing these issues specifically.

Outside of my feminism interests, I am a huge fan of many types of media in general--anime, video games, movies, TV, etc. I will, at times, engage with media that contains themes I don't agree with, but aim to do so with minimal contribution to their financial gain (mostly via piracy.) I do not judge people for consuming "problematic" media, I judge them for what they defend, and what they take away from that media. The exception I have to this is if you go out of your way to consume explicit, pornographic depictions of minors, rape or incest--DNI with me at all if you consume pornography with these themes, there is no justification for this.

Will expand later as needed. Thanks!

[cassia-longina]

PSA: don't blame yourself for feeling aroused by pornography and misogynistic kinks. First of all, the fact that you consciously dislike it already means you don't want it — everyone who tells you otherwise thinks like a rapist. And also we live in a society oversaturated with images of female sexual degradation — it would be more surprising if you actually weren't influenced by it in one way or another. Where are you even supposed to get an idea that it doesn't have to be that way? Even fem"dom" is hardly about women being dominant over men. You are not to blame for not developing a healthy sexuality in a world that desperately doesn't want you to. This can be fixed, but with a deliberate effort and power of will, because it requires going against the current.

[no-i-can-not-shut-up]

Always remember that it’s very easy to condition sexual arousal, and it is never your fault for being groomed! Even if you sought it out, even if you used to like it. Whatever reason, it was never your fault.

Especially with the rise of girls being exposed to the internet at increasingly younger ages, we need to try and break the cycle for those girls.

You cannot help others if you have not helped yourself! Practice self love and self forgiveness. Be kind to your past self!

[iwanttolisten]

Tumblr has been slowly conditioned to accept lolicon and dismiss the people outraged by it due to adult consumers posting about it publicly with other adult consumers and paving the way for popular users to come out as lolicons, doing the "no I don't want to fuck the child, I want to be the child" bit (typical MTF inversion of male sexuality disguised as transmisogynized "i just want to play as a little girl i never got to be" nonsense), and laughing and jeering and downplaying the people horrified and upset at seeing it as hysterical puritans (usually coincidentally the ones who are horrified by it are women and children themselves)

[iwanttolisten]

You will find lolicon criticizers left and right saying the culture is full of actual groomers and young girls interacting with adult men and this content was used to condition them, but they managed to bury these people so much that to outsiders they are like bugs hiding underneath a rock. Sure it maybe used for such purposes but most consumers don't actually want to hurt real kids, right?

Accepting incest, encouraging more users to get into incest and making it the cool new thing was also a gateway into this, now we have people trying to chip away at the idea that incest in real life is morally wrong as well

[betterwurld]

I want to share a book on this topic that I think there's a lot of value reading.

Confessions of a Frigid Man by Japanese philosopher Masahiro Morioka

The link above contains the full book's text made available by the author himself.

I want to be clear that I do not think the author is particularly a good person; while he manages to acknowledge the harm the phenomenon has caused, he still perpetuates a lot of pro-lolicon apologia (i.e. "some women like it too!!11!111 not all men!!111!11). A lot of entitlement and "everyone's a LITTLE pedophilic inside amirite fellas?!" However, I think this novel is FASCINATING as it's written by a man, who has self-identified as a lolicon at some point, who is a part of the culture that produces this material, and openly acknowledges the harm.

Some quotes that I think are relevant:

From Chapter 4: Delving into the Psychology of Men with “Lolita Complexes”

... [One type] of lolicon men is those who feel sexually attracted to young girls but do not actually engage in sexual relations with them. This category includes men who collect photographs of young girls and videos of “idol bands.” Among such men, there are presumably those who are satisfied with consuming only images, those who refrain from engaging in sexual relations with young girls through rational self-control, and those who simply have not yet considered having sexual relations with an actual young girl. The chance that these men will at some point become criminals is of course not zero. There may indeed be this kind of “reserve corps” of sex criminals. ... They cannot be called criminals, but it is because of them that the “loliconification” of society as a whole continues to progress. Such people may indeed be unimaginably numerous. They include the majority of men who like “idols” [“aidoru” in Japanese; cute young girls, mostly singers or actresses, who appear in various popular media including music, film and television]. I would not deny having belonged to this category myself. [...] Research has been carried out concerning the psychology of people who commit sex crimes involving children, but up to now almost nothing has been said about this more general form of lolicon. I want to make this my objective here. With this end in mind, I will also discuss the psychology of criminals when necessary, as there is a great deal of overlap between what goes on in the minds of both of these types of lolicon men. I would like to note at the start that lolicon has been explained as being the result of immature men who cannot have romantic relationships with full grown women seeking to use young girls who are weak and obedient as sexual outlets. There are almost certainly some men who molest or sexually abuse young girls for this reason. This pattern may be especially prevalent in pedophiles who molest young girls who have just started elementary school. At the same time, however, this does not seem an adequate explanation of the attraction to girls in junior high school or the upper years of elementary school. The teachers and school board employees arrested for buying sex from schoolgirls, for example, are often men who occupy a position of high social status and have families. These men bought sex with young girls while at the same time engaging in sexual relationships with adult women; they cannot be described as immature men who approach young girls because they cannot have a relationship with a full-grown woman. [...] These men presumably sought out young girls because they were looking for something they could not find in adult women. We must try to clarify what this something is. [...] A girl getting her first period means she is capable of becoming pregnant. Her body is now able to take semen from a man, combine it with an egg, and conceive a child. Presumably this is what lolicon men are fixated on. Now I will attempt to enter the deepest levels of lolicon desires. Please read the following as nothing more than a single hypothesis aimed at better understanding lolicon. I think that what is hidden in the deepest level of the minds of lolicon men like me is a desire to be the first to insert their semen into a young girl who has now become capable of ovulation and make her pregnant by combining her egg with their sperm. So whose child would be born if this happened? Let us think about it one more time. What do I see in the young girl in front of me? The answer is already clear. In the young girl’s body in front of me I see nothing other than an image of myself. In the body I am looking at, I see an image of “another me” that would have become a cute young girl if by some quirk of fate I had gone the other way at the point of bifurcation during puberty.

If this is the case, then my desire to have the young girl I am looking at give birth to my child is actually a desire to have “another me,” in the form of the young girl, give birth to my child. I want a child created by the synthesis of my sperm and the egg of another me. This would indeed be nothing other than my own rebirth; a new me born without the intervention of anyone else other than me.

This was heavily snipped together and I highly recommend reading this whole chapter, if not the whole book, because he goes in depth discussing the impact of socialization, men's self hatred of their own bodies, womb envy, etc. If you can stomach the pedophilia apologia, it's really a fascinating read.

[betterwurld]

I think it's fascinating how:

most people are able to accept that depictions of disordered eating behavior, bodychecking and fatshaming popularized in media in the 2000s directly contributed to millions of young girls eating disorders

most people are able to accept that the extremely edited images of women we see in ads and media directly contribute to young girls' sense of self worth

most people are able to accept that "jokes" made at the expense of minority groups (racial, sexuality, etc.) directly contribute to the dehumanization and hatred of that group

... among MANY more examples...

... but they are not able to apply this same logic to anything pornographic whatsoever.

When we platform hate, when we platform bigotry, when we platform harmful ideas in ANY WAY, it contributes to the harm of the group that it's directed towards.

... Except in porn. Somehow.

Nobody has ever given me a reasonable reason as to why porn is magically excluded from what we already know affects real life. And what's also interesting about that to me, is that meanwhile, most people are able to accept that:

behavioral addictions ARE a thing and are tied to dopamine hit addictions (as seen in things like gambling addiction and shopping addiction, as well as recent talks of social media addictions)

these behavioral addictions can be behavior-altering and life-ruining

So magically, porn is not ONLY excluded from having any material affect on the way minority groups are viewed in society (while EVERY OTHER TYPE OF MEDIA does have impact, somehow). But it is ALSO magically excluded from dopamine-induced behavioral addictions… despite orgasm being one of the biggest dopamine hits a person can give themselves.

This is the thing that always gets me the most frustrated. When you try to discuss issues like this, people fall back onto "omg anti-sex Christian!!" when, as an atheist myself, from a logical point of view, I don't see why porn and orgasms are magically exempt from affecting people the same way their appropriate counterparts do.

Oh also, as an added bonus: wild to watch "anti-capitalist" leftists act as if there isn't a BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY with VESTED interest in getting you to believe that porn is magically excluded from these issues. Yes! Keep consuming! Daddy Big Porn needs his third yacht!

[carbonemissionshater]

Feminists, for decades: hey these beauty standards for women being thin and childlike seem pretty pedophilic

The general public: ok Tinfoil hat

The general public, upon learning so many of our institutions and media outlets and fashion were controlled by rich pedophiles: 0: this is alarming and novel information

[certifiedmanbeater]

Never understood the loli defenders' logic being "It's not a real person," "it's fictional," "it's a drawing." In order for you to draw a "lolicon," you took that inspo from SOMEWHERE, and we all know where you took it and based it on. So what exactly are you even defending?

[hyperlexichypatia]

I like how you assume artists have no imagination.

[swisssjeez]

Very funny response. As if fantasizing sexually (what you call imagining) about children is totally cool and kosher 💀

[iwanttolisten]

they are imagining a new type of person out of their minds that just coincidentally happens to look and act like a human child, woah, the amazing inner universes of these lolicons conjuring wondrous things...

[betterwurld]

The new argument a lot of them are using is that lolis are "objects," and that you can't hurt "objects." So it's an "object" that they sexualize... that just so happens to resemble human prepubescent girls.

Almost like... they're sexually objectifying prepubescent girls............. hmm........................

[certifiedmanbeater]

Never understood the loli defenders' logic being "It's not a real person," "it's fictional," "it's a drawing." In order for you to draw a "lolicon," you took that inspo from SOMEWHERE, and we all know where you took it and based it on. So what exactly are you even defending?

[hyperlexichypatia]

I like how you assume artists have no imagination.

[swisssjeez]

Very funny response. As if fantasizing sexually (what you call imagining) about children is totally cool and kosher 💀

[lobotomy-lady]

reminder that several loli/shota artists have been caught tracing photos of actual children for their drawings, both benign pictures taken by parents for social media & actual csam

[virtualcremefem]

that kind of art is a gateway to CSAM

majority of indulgers are actual pedophiles who would abuse children if they could

that kind of art has been used to groom children

people into that type of "art" have been found to own CSAM

only a microscopic amount of indulgers just draw/consume the "art" without being full pedos and without finding the gateway

i mean it should be obvious, if you like that kind of stuff, not sorry, but it definitely says a lot about you as a person!

[betterwurld]

I want to add that while the biggest audience demographic is adult male pedophiles, the second biggest audience demographic is young girls, often ages 10-16. I know this because unfortunately, I used to be one of them. I was roped in when I was 10 myself.

I know from firsthand experience that the lolicon community is full of adult men and young girls interacting inappropriately over shared interest in pedophilic porn. This is not a rare thing; it's happening all over social media daily. It's happening on TikTok, here on Tumblr, on Bluesky, on Twitter. I do not seek out this content and have not since I was a child, but my proximity to the anime space has their profiles come up in my feed every once in a while, and I will just say there is no shortage of 13 year old girls proudly "identifying" as a "real life loli" or "lolicon" on social media.

My "interest" in this material led to me being groomed into taking CSAM of myself, being coerced into phone sex with a 30 year old at 12, and eventually into me being assaulted at an anime convention. I do not say this to victim-blame myself, but rather to highlight the way the material affected my brain; at the time, I considered those experiences "desirable." Because they were me re-enacting the material I was obsessively consuming every day.

Obviously as an adult I have grown to understand the severity of the situation and regularly speak out against it. But people refuse to understand, meanwhile more and more kids are being groomed and exploited the exact same way I was in these communities every day.

[majchic]

[virtualcremefem]

and "women should starve actually"

[hestiasroom]

It’s very intentional that all of the conversations around male loneliness and the vilification of toxic masculinity leave out the fact that women are reacting to the violent misogyny that came just before this cultural moment. This didn’t come out of nowhere, and the men are not hapless victims. Talk about why this sentiment was sooooo relatable to so many women. Talk about the rape. Talk about the rampant porn consumption. Then you’ll have the full story. But they never will because the goal is to make women look crazy for having enough self-respect to reject male violence.

[magnetictapedatastorage]

and the moment never truly ended, it just became more fragmented into forums and chatrooms, then discords and podcasts, the online equivalent of male locker rooms, after a brief stint in front of everybody in the form of cable TV.

they never stopped being misogynist freaks, its the format of media that changed. you no longer (usually) see a rack of 50 magazines with 45 of them aimed at men and 38 of those containing pinups in every single full-page ad, instead you see an individual tailored feed (or dashboard) that makes it less and less clear what anyone else is seeing.

[live-love-laugh-lesbian]

Some of you genuinely think a woman can be so privilleged that she stops being oppressed on the basis of being a woman, and that a man can be so oppressed he can stop having access to male privilege. And that's not how it works.

It's especially scary from those of you who insist loudly on being intersectional liberal socialists etc because I'm forced to worry about what else you think works that way.

[swisssjeez]

No. The entire point is that there is no exception. There is not a woman on this earth that is exempt from misogyny. If the richest, most powerful person in the world was a woman, she would still experience misogyny.

[evenlesssentimentaltranslator]

Rich women still get raped and poor men still rape so hell no way am I entertaining takes like that.

[pinkpilledradfem]

"STOP PURITY CULTURE!" guys don't care about purity culture's negative effects.

When have you seen one speaking about women who are killed in some countries because her hymen wasn't intact and she's therefore "not a virgin" ? (EVEN THOUGH IT BREAKS DURING REGULAR ACTIVITIES?).

When have you seen one speak about FGM that takes place because female genitalia is "dirty". This procedure leads to infections, PTSD, recurring health issues and even death. It is often performed on extremely young girls.

When have you seen one talk about how menstrual blood is seen as 'Impure' by certain cultures, leading to young girls being isolated from her family? About how blood from violence and murder are seen as purer than menstrual blood?

When have you seen them speak about the young women who get killed for 'honour' because of rumours that she was dating someone, which immediately shows her to be a "whore" who must be brutally murdered in order to preserve her family's social standing?

Once in a blue moon maybe, but they're constantly going on about how they should be entitled to their kinks that degrade women and feed into misogynistic culture. They're always yelling about how they should be allowed to watch violent adult material without being questioned. The videos in question often containing trafficked women being assaulted in sickening ways.

These men benefit from upholding actual purity culture, their idea of "purity culture" is basic human decency. Of course they want to do away with the extremely minimal safeguards in place to protect women.

[babypenguinbird]

@/ ariannakyanne on tiktok

[kiefbowl]

I think deffo on my top 10 things I want to teach women as a feminist is that men are OPPORTUNISTIC. all this run around about evil and nature and whatever and at the end of the day it's OPPORTUNITY. their privilege presents OPPORTUNITY and they take it. takes just one rape to become a rapist

[betterwurld]

My least favorite type of person on the internet right now are the types of people who insist that because "they read," they can't actually be media illiterate or anti-intellectual.

WHAT do you read? EVERYONE reads every single day. People read social media posts and comments every single day. There's a significant difference between someone who "spends their time reading" Facebook comments versus someone who's reading books. There's a significant difference between someone who "spends their time reading" shitty incest fanfiction versus someone who's reading political theory, history, or hell, even just fictional narratives that don't serve the SOLE purpose of wank material.

Reading is not in and of its self an "intellectual" activity. Otherwise the people reading the Burger King menu at lunch is just as "intellectual" as you. What makes it "intellectual" is the material its self and your ability to parse it and engage with it meaningfully. What makes reading intellectual and powerful is the ability to learn new information, to challenge your own world views, to analyze, to criticize, to engage.

And seeing as the most common thought-stopping cliche in these fanfiction spaces online is "don't like don't read," how critically engaged can these people actually be?

[full-fem-visions]

I know a feminist who believes that the trans rights movements was most likely pushed heavily by social media companies for profit and thus it's the first social and political movement to be massively artificially inflated and that honestly seems to explain so much of the problem to me

[radfemwuornos]

Similarly read a conspiracy theory that the porn industry promotes "taboo" content promoting violence and incest because there is a lack of actresses in the industry & almost all porn actresses have experienced significant sexual trauma, so by promoting these "kinks" it's bound to result in more women being willing to work in the porn industry

[limiuenloma-deactivated20250628]

that's literally why they made so many "step sister/daughter" porn, most women and children in the industry were raped by their brothers & fathers. it's not even a conspiracy theory.

[hjellacott]

"Conspiracy theory" you mean factual, obvious things?

[ablednt]

Woah you fetishize the concept of abuse that's so crazy transgressive no one's ever done that before it's not like woven into the fabric of our bigoted societies or something

[fisewalafel]

lmao look at this Bad Woman being mocked and humiliated by liberal men. thank god that i, a Morally Good Woman with Correct Opinions, will never be in her place!

[evenlesssentimentaltranslator]

But just to make sure, I’d better agree with everything liberal men say, even when they say “I really fucking love committing violence against women”

[daskerlizard-deactivated2022102]

ARTISTS. DO NOT. CONDONE. REAL LIFE. FELONIES. BY DRAWING. FICTIONAL. SITUATIONS.

[aroacekishiberohan]

Except everything people do and say does not exist in a vacuum. Every action you make has the ability to affect another person, and getting upset that your images are upsetting others, especially when those images are child porn, incest, whatever the situation, honestly doesn’t make you look much better.

Listen, an artist drawing something is a form of expression yes, but it is also a form of communication. You’re not just showing when you draw, you’re telling. And when all you draw is incest/child porn/rape/whatever, it’s very telling to those who actually perpetrate these real life crimes that what they do is looked upon with a good eye, that its normal, and accepted. 

-Existing child pornography may be used to desensitize children and normalize sexual activity in an effort by offenders to engage in sexual abuse or create new child pornography. -Child pornography can be the gateway to hands-on child sexual abuse, or may be used by sex offenders to reduce their inhibitions and prepare themselves to offend.

Just because it’s drawn does not make it free game. It’s called simulated child pornography, and while the legality of it is still a toss up in most places, the impact is the same.

And ignoring that huge, blaring picture? What really is your argument on drawing child porn. Look at what you drew, maybe imagine it with REAL children and REAL adults and please tell me any argument you might have that makes it okay other than “I can draw what I want”. Especially when an adult character and is aged down to be a child. There is no argument there at all, no “oh they look young in the original media”. You wanted to see a child in a sexual situation, plain and simple. That’s what people see. That’s what victims see. That’s what abusers see. That’s what future abusers see.

So for the love of christ just stop fucking posting it. 

[countcait]

Funny how this argument always seems to come from the same people who love to label media as bigoted propaganda with the power to mass influence people’s beliefs. Moral purity is extremely important when engaging with TV shows but not with pedo drawings and violent porn.

Literally they’re out here like:

“Positive depictions of things like domestic, violence, child grooming, and racial abuse are all inexcusable moral failings in media and anyone who engages with said media is endorsing all of the above. Unless it’s media meant to make peepee hard. So long as you’re masturbating to women getting beaten and having racial slurs spewed at them and not watching it for the plot, it’s all good. Anyone who criticizes porn is a religious conservative prude. It’s literally fascism to question why someone gets off on rape roleplay. Now it’s time for you to analyse the ways in which Bluey has subconsciously influenced you to support the military industrial complex.”