You don't need pants

or a description

[accelerationist-king-piccolo]

[rimonoroni]

Day 180 since Craig moved in. he clearly thinks he’s dating one of us but we can’t figure out who. it’s possible one of us is lying about it for some reason but so far our efforts at inquisition has led nowhere. we would kick him out but he’s been doing the dishes for us. we’ve decided that for the sanity of the polycule we’ll keep up the charade. if all of us continue to be flirty with him, he’ll project his attraction onto whoever the hell he thinks is into him. this house of cards is delicate but necessary

[noknowshame]

why is religious Christmas imagery all so joyful and pleasant? where is the inherent horror of the birth of Christ? A mother is handed her newborn child, wailing and innocent. Her hands come away sticky. Red. Simply by giving her son life she has already killed him. He is doomed from the beginning. Her love will not save him from suffering. Because the thing cradled in her arms is not a baby, it is a sacrifice: born amongst the other bleating animals whose blood will one day be spilled in the name of what demands it. the night is silent with anticipation. Mary, did you know? That your womb was also a grave?

[noknowshame]

[browniefox]

[brightlotusmoon]

[theonewhopoops]

[beardedmrbean]

[calware]

PSA

avoid conforming to traditional gender norms by avoiding this common palette:

try using these palettes instead!!

[calware]

[araccoonthatlikesmurder]

Not to be mean but they’re right. None of these would ever fit together

[lizluvscupcakes]

They’re DISGUSTING, op. I’m sorry, it’s better you hear it here than have your grandma say she likes your clothes.

[calware]

i actually disagree! not to bring back a certain children's hospital and say "it's literally color theory" unironically, but... it's literally color theory. both of these color palettes are virtually complimentary and look pretty nice together

youve got reds, greens, and blues:

and purples, blues, yellows, and oranges:

(you'll have to click on the images to see the full thing, i don't want to put them one after the other and make this post even longer than it already is. sorry for the low resolution im doing this on my phone)

of course there's variation in the values and saturation, but imo that's a bit of a given ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[calware]

wait actually fuck this post. what the hell is going on between you two

[nerves-nebula]

not to re-rail a post that OP himself intentionally derailed but I wanted to try out the palettes. The first one is made with the Girl Colors with no changes made to the values/saturation.

i think its ok. 

The second one I tweaked the saturation and values a to my liking. Both are very low effort but as you can see I kinda got into the second one. Anyway I really like orange/purple/yellow as a color scheme so I had fun with this 

[nekoglycerin]

hey op i hope u dont mind but i made some boys and girls in these colors ^v^

[calware]

wait omg it would be so cool if there was a different character for each color and they were all in one friend group together, i would LOVE to read a story about that

[maybetheyregiants]

omg someone should make a Kickstarter for this!!!!!

[polyphonetic]

it's interesting that there are twelve of them! you could like, based them all off of the zodiac. you know, tiger, rat, rabbit, dragon, etc

[calware]

[joeyclaire]

HUH

[calware]

[heehoothefool]

This post took so .any left turns we got back on track and turned left again anyways Homestuck on the dash again good morning everybody

[krystal-prisms]

Terrible post everyone, hit the showers

[villainessbian]

There's everything in that post. Colours I can't see because I'm colour-blind. Homestuck jokes. Casual transphobia. A children's hospital. That's history

[leviathangirlclaw]

This post is like trying to do an olympic sprint through a fucking minefield

[calware]

it's not even a year old yet??

[transgenderpussycat]

what about not gendering fucking colours

[calware]

IT'S SATIRE

[calware]

I'M THE OP

[powercoreact-deactivated2024100]

You were being serious

[calware]

you're right. when i made this post about how we should implement a new pointlessly gendered system for society based off of homestuck aliens, i was in fact being 100% serious. thank you for your helpful insight ❤️

[crxmes]

[obfuscatingintelligence]

if you set off a rube goldberg type death trap to kill someone, if it's a long enough machine, it ceases to become your fault if somebody dies at the end. that's how I've gotten away with it all these years, and why I'm still going to heaven.

[robotgirlfoxears-deactivated202]

— capitalists

[sneakyfeets]

Me, plunking Stinky Bastard Man’s carrier on the counter: hi he’s here for shots and a nail trim and he’ll need to be sedated

Nurse: Are you sure? We can try-

Me: he needs to be sedated

Nurse: Well, it’ll take longer-

Me: he needs to be sedated, he will try to rip your face off

Nurse: Well we’ll try without first and we’ll let you know if we need to sedate

Me, watching her carry him away: you will need to sedate him

Nurse, coming back 10 minutes later clutching her hand: so, we will need to sedate him

Me:

[sneakyfeets]

A man with 3 caution stickers on his med file

[sneakyfeets]

Since this post blew up and people have asked for this villain’s record, here are some of Stinky Bastard Man’s more heinous crimes:

Screamed so loudly with such unbridled fury the one time he wasn’t sedated at the vet that he caused a little girl in the waiting room to burst into tears

Ripped an escape hole in the patio screen door in a single night

Snuck into the garage overnight where he managed to pull down his massive food bag from the top shelves, ripped it open and ate so much he couldn’t/wouldn’t move when we found him in the morning  

Learned how to open the laundry cabinet to sleep on the clean towels

Learned how to open doors, thus allowing the dog to follow in after who then eats from the trash

Bats off anything on our windowsills that gets in the way of his sitting. Current succulent casualty count: 4

Thankfully cannot open the bedroom door due to rusty mechanisms, but managed to slip in one night when it wasn’t fully closed. Jumped down from my windowsill squarely onto my stomach, leaving me to bolt awake screaming from the blow and convinced I was under attack

Tricked me into loving him forever anyway

[the-haiku-bot]

Ripped an escape hole

in the patio screen door

in a single night

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[thedorkdionysia]

oh my god he’s THIS Stinky Bastard Man!!!!

[anais-ninja-bitch]

[bebe-benzenheimer]

the stinky bastard man, the stinky bastard myth, the stinky bastard legend

[twistedpictures1-deactivated202]

hey you should ask your doctor about MAOIs. my SSRIs weren’t working so we tried those (i’m on nardil) and it did wonders for my mental health. just saying as a suggestion because based on the fact that you put the fucking onceler on my dashboard in 2022 the meds you take right now don’t work

WHAT

[giltspark]

[a-real-horse]

[spider-artdump]

[fagcrisis]

ideologically i disagree with outside cats but i cannot deny the allure of being able to just meet a little guy anytime anywhere

[lakevida]

can you imagine being dealt this hand

[lakevida]

[fortooate]

they can't possibly know if it like has a bag of almonds down in a trench somewhere when theyre not looking

[lakevida]

[madhyanas]

cannot stress enough the importance of having a bucket in your house. a big plastic bucket. helps with housework. helps with morale. get yourself a bucket today

[clusterduck28]

[tophatofdoom]

I am afraid to say this is a post that would have done numbers in like 2013 for other reasons

[explosionshark]

Tbh if you’re a teenager who is marginalized and feels rejected by society the coolest thing you can do for yourself is get really into metal bc it’s a subculture that’s proud of being outside of the mainstream, it’s got a HUGE breadth of diversity in style, the uniform is black t-shirts with gross designs which look good on everyone AND the experience of going to your first show (or just sitting in your room w the music up loud) and headbanging til your neck is sore is SO life affirming

[explosionshark]

[catgirlforeskin]

[pearlwingdraws]

My brother’s take on tonight’s events

[shoku-and-awe]

South Carolina followers: free green beans on I-95!

[sylren13]