Things I Do Which Aren't Work

Yes, my eyes are blue. No, I'm not a lizard. Has opinions.

[flowers-in-book]

The older I get, the stayer I home.

[rannulfr]

Home based.

[twinkhole-destroyer]

I need to press his bruises like it’s his gspot

[twinkhole-destroyer]

I’m gonna think about killing myself

[happybunnykat]

[1five1two]

Tomi Ungerer. 1931-2019.

[secretgarden]

[charlesoberonn]

[anglerfl3sh]

I love post like "you all are against rich people until they're a fictional character" because it's completely true. I am against rich people until it's a fictional character. I don't think liking Scrooge McDuck makes someone a class traitor

[brightlotusmoon]

[ouroborosorder]

my friends and I have created a game we call Quipposting, where you play quiplash but you roll a wheel full of character archetypes, and whatever it lands on, you all answer as if you are like, a wizard or cowboy. This legitimately makes quiplash go from a fun enough game to an S+ tier absolute unabashed banger

[ouroborosorder]

the best characters are Mafia Goon, Cyberpunk Hacker, Castle Guard, Sewer Rat, 16th Century Peasant, and Alien Poorly Pretending to be Human

[clamberingcat]

OP we desperately need examples

[ouroborosorder]

these are all from mafia goonposting but I think it’s my absolute favorite one of all time so I have a lot of pictures from it. Turn on some jazz and wait until people start talking in the accent and you’ll make Magic

[norwoods-dni]

[freegiftjones]

one time i was making potato soup and i needed broth for it but i was out of broth. but in my dog food cabinet there was a carton of chicken broth that i had bought for my dog. now the box did say HUMAN GRADE and the ingredients were just bog standard chicken broth. it did say something about joint health for dogs on there. but the ingredients were normal. i even compared the ingredients list to some normal person broth and they were the same. so i did put dog broth in that soup and it did taste completely normal. but i did use the dog broth.

[chicknparm]

[aya--bb]

genuinely I'm so sick of people wanting all fiction to be ethical. can we all just get a little gross with it. the point of fiction is that it's not real. we can be unethical in fiction; same goes with being perverted with fiction, being unrealistic with fiction, and being grotesque with fiction. not all fiction has to be ethical, not every character has to be ethical, and that's okay. can we stop with the puritanism. be gross. be unrealistic. be whatever. if I don't like it it's not my business as long as we're all clear that its fictional.

[notemily]

via ered.bsky.social, the only kinds of unethical fiction:

people in the replies are going "what about books glorifying unethical things" and "what if it's propaganda" and you, my friends, are who this comic was made for

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

[effinbirds]

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

It's a lot healthier to go for a daily walk than to sign up for a gym membership you won't be using because you hate that kind of exercise. It's a lot healthier to eat a frozen meal than to skip a meal because you were too tired to cook something healthy. It's a lot healthier to take a quick shower than to procrastinate an elaborate routine for days. Don't aim so high that you won't be hitting anything!

[creamypancakebatter]

this is actually really helpful and affirming thanks

[breelandwalker]

[1969chevycamaro]

*in tears* Thanks kitty, I needed this...

[t00thpasteface]

me before i get my paycheck: i'm so excited to spend this on essentials and save the rest wisely

me as soon as that direct deposit hits: you know i've always wanted to learn the theremin

[volcanows]

my friends keep trying to look in the mirror but i dont have mirrors in my car so i fixed it

[argumate]

huh my classical education is so poor I didn't realise that Syracuse is actually in Sicily, how embarrassing! Carthage being in Tunisia makes sense, and Antioch in Turkey near Syria, Tyre in Lebanon, Caesarea in Judea, no idea where I thought Syracuse was supposed to be, it was just free floating around the Mediterranean somewhere.

[complex-variable]

my classical education is so poor I thought Carthage was that stuff in your knees and nose.

[argumate]

*nodding* sharks are mostly Carthaginian apparently

[savouryduck]

*experiencing joint pain* hm, Carthage must be destroyed

[adamsmasher]

WE WERE ON JEOPARDY!!!!!!!!!!

[rouge-the-bat]

thank you for coming to my this #mythis

[homunculus-argument]

A free-range group therapy called "get herded, idiot", where you and everyone in your group is set loose to run around on an open field while a highly trained shepherd dog tries to keep you all in one group. I am not sure what benefit this would have for anyone involved.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

This would fix everyone involved including the dog

[plotbunnyfarm]

there is value in letting everyone (dog ncluded) run around until they get tired.