Collecting Bones for the Death God's Throne

Hey, I'm Bones and my name on AO3 is BonesOfBirdWings. I'm a skeleton and gay for Renn.

[glumshoe]

hey do you guys know about the uncomfortably horny BDSM song cut from Disney’s Aladdin

[argumate]

no but I wanna

[glumshoe]

it’s called “Humiliate The Boy” and it’s just line after line of Jafar making it Weird™️

including the very real lyrics “oh, we’ll emasculate him slowly/all the better to enjoy/how delicious to humiliate the boy”

Disney why

Disney I can’t kinkshame fast enough to keep up with this shit

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

after learning Ursula’s character design was based on a (truly splendid) drag queen, I just sort of got lazy with assuming she would always be the most salacious disney villain. 

but apparently Jafar is a dom with a thing for twinks & humiliation play so what do i know

[glumshoe]

I don’t think I’d call Ursula especially salacious–she makes jokes implying that men only want sex, and she moves like a theatre major at the grocery store with their friends, but I wouldn’t describe her as horny.

I guess Frollo has a whole song about how horny he is, and both Gaston and Jafar also have “marry the heroine but in an evil way” as motives. 

[smokyquartz323]

Ursula is comfortable in her sexuality. Frollo is horny on main but trying to deny it. Gaston and, apparently, Jafar are horny period, with Gaston being mysoginistc and Jafar having a humiliation kink

[virgil-is-a-cutie]

Oh dear

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

ok someone do an alignment chart

[bemusedlybespectacled]

I made an alignment chart because I needed something to occupy my time. no one but frollo is on the “conflicted” bar because no other disney villain is anything but 100% comfortable with their sexuality and that’s that about that. gaston is evilly sexy, not evilly horny, because the only person gaston is horny for is gaston.

also, did we NOT already know jafar was kinky? was the slave girl outfit and hypnokink not a huge giveaway?

[crispydumbass]

I love tumblr coz where else would I read a serious analysis of Disney villains in terms of them being sexy/kinky/horny while listening to a very disturbing kinky Jafar song

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

someone replace “but conflicted” with “but a creep” and add scar and hades

[wee-tiny]

[pixie-mage]

Perfect

[counterpunches]

#the real reason i’ll stay forever on this godforsaken website#truly groundbreaking analysis just like this  @fiddleabout

[megan-renee]

obsessed

[superarthurl]

Wow this is awesome it sounds good

[coaltar-of-the-deepers]

oh, to sax into the tube

[galythia]

Donations for Black Lives Matter

For every $5 you donate to an effective BLM cause*, I will write you a MINIMUM 1k fic**. That means that if you donate $150, I will write you a 30k fic. There is no word count limit, so donate away!

If you want me to write something that is NOT in a fandom I’m in, I WILL STILL WRITE IT. But it will be $8 per 1k due to the extra learning curve. I’ll even write for your OCs!

For those who can only donate less than $5, I will write drabbles for you at $1/100 words (or $1/50 words if it’s in a fandom/ship I’m not in).

I am happy to break your total word count into separate works, each with their own specifications. See under the cut for my list of fandoms (feel free to bring your fandom to me and ask me if I know it; I might have just forgotten to list it).

Vetted and proven funds to consider:

ACLU

The Bail Project

Keep reading

[sounddesignerjeans-deactivated2]

Visit Original Link

Easily the best audio post I’ve ever made

[zagreus]

Visit Original Link

[zagreus]

[headspace-hotel]

as yet unexplored subgenres

zombie Amish romance

normal fiction (explores alternate reality that is much more banal and ordinary than this one)

elfpunk (-punk subgenre where every piece of technology is run by many incredibly tiny elves inside)

chaotic history (all of the alternate histories at once; very little attempt to coordinate them)

badass fiction (refers to speculative fiction works with worldbuilding, plot and characterization all ultimately governed by what is most badass; subcategories include badass fantasy and badass sci-fi, though the latter is a disputed category due to the fact that space wizards who ride space dragons and other fantastical elements commonly creep in because they’re badass)

bad sci-fi, or badsci (science fiction based on terrible attitudes toward science, such as six-day-literalist creationism or flat earth)

contemporary history (historical novels inexplicably set in the present day, with either historical events and figures recast as occurring in contemporary times or past historical periods portrayed as being culturally and technologically similar to the present)

dreampunk (instead of a first chapter wherein the protagonist awakens from a dream, the entire story is just dreams)

tree romance

existential literature (an avant-garde and media-transcending subcategory wherein reviewers and booksellers blurb and discuss a book that does not actually exist, creating a unique and thought-provoking experience for the reader, especially one who commonly pre-orders new books)

self-help fantasy (self-help book dedicated to solving problems no one has)

self-help romance (you buy the book to solve your problems but instead you fall in love with the author)

recipe thriller (a recipe book whose recipes are masterfully plotted and full of chilling suspense)

contemporary epic poetry romance (contemporary romance written in the exact style and tone of Ancient Greek epics)

dinosaurpunk

[squidgnz]

The fucking moment I learned about objection.lol I had to make this iconic discord chat into a court argument

[purple-rayne-purple-rayne]

I’m crying from laughing so hard

[sounddesignerjeans-deactivated2]

imagine if Doug Dimmadome was the final boss of Fairly Oddparents. that’s Fullmetal Alchemist

[sounddesignerjeans-deactivated2]

Visit Original Link

That’s me in the corner! That’s me in the cor

ner!

Losing my re-

corner!

Trying    c o r n e r       t h a t ’ s     m

[dajo42]

Visit Original Link

http://grandenchanterfiona.tumblr.com/post/125317475373/kermit-the-frog-voice-sweet-mother-sweet

[tis-i-the-most-uncooked-fry]

I’M WHEEZING

[creekfiend]

Having seen some births now i can say that dog birth is amazing cos they just slip n slide out one after the other like a little conveyor belt. And theyre so little and unformed. And then UNGULATE BIRTHS ... are amazing for the opposite reason which is that 10mins after being born they are filing their taxes. Unless they are goats, in which case they are committing tax fraud instead

[creekfiend]

Goats are what is called a precocial species, which means that shortly after birth they are able to do many thimgs on their own, such as standing, walking, eating, and embezzlement

[devourfrombeneath]

now for ur phone. go make some strangers uneasy in public 👉👉

[lemonsharks]

@star-anise check out these modern pastoral masterpieces

[star-anise]

Sometimes you cannot face life’s challenges with dignity, but you can face them with the outraged volume of a screaming cockatoo.

[sandsvendor100]

1:35 AM. 15 April 1912. RMS Titanic. Engine Room.

[jooferslannister-deactivated202]

Seymour it’s heroic that you’re remaining in the engine room to keep the pumps and electricity running. 

[sandsvendor100]

I Am Eating The Engineers

[imposterogers]

what if the teenage mutant ninja turtles exist in the mcu but they’re just really good at staying under the radar and criminals are too embarrassed to admit they got beat up by some guys in “turtle costumes” so they blame daredevil. peter parker worked as a pizza delivery boy for a while and brought like eight pizzas to a man hole cover but thought nothing of it bc nyc

[imposterogers]

peter parker: i once was one minute late delivering pizza and the dude was like “forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza” 

clint barton: oh cool u met one of the tmnt 

literally everyone: who 

clint: am i the only one in this goddamn city who knows about the crimefighting turtles that live in the sewers 

(they all think clint is playing an elaborate prank on them, especially when he shows them a photo of four guys wearing what are ‘very obviously halloween costumes’)

[sweetiesoju]

fun fact: it’s TMNT canon that the chemical container that hit Matt Murdock across the face and gave him his Daredevil abilities is the same canister that landed on the baby turtles and mutated them, so…..y’all aren’t far off

[captainlordauditor]

i’m sorry it’s WHAT

[theyoungestwhateleydaughter-dea]

TMNT started as a Daredevil parody.

Matt’s teacher is Stick. The turtle’s is Splinter.

Matt’s enemy is the Hand. The turtle’s is the Foot Clan.

It was originally a dark, edgy, turtle themed parody of Daredevil.

[gotinstarblog-deactivated201512]

[half-black-phillip]

I’m so mad because this worked

[britney2007spears]

help me roger

[telanu]

Reblogging myself because

Originally posted by gifs-for-the-masses

[luthienebonyx]

Reblogging myself because… what was that? Five minutes?

O_O

[riskpig]

………my friend has made me curious

[maryburgers]

help me roger

[maryburgers]

Update: after I reblogged this someone messaged me offering me tickets to the sold out Hausu screening with a Q&A and autograph session with the director

[zombbeans]

These never work for me, but here’s to trying.

[strangenewclassrooms]

I don’t believe in these things

But last time I reblogged one ten/fifteen minutes later I got a call offering me a job

But I reblogged it because I was waiting on hearing back from the job. So there you go.

Roger is cute.

[sugared-violets]

Eh Roger is cute I might as well

[secondlina]

That fish is so happy it makes me happy.

[cinnappo]

Reblogging myself because I reblogged this yesterday and got promoted today!

[mysweetminiaussie]

oh what the hell…lol.

[thefitally-deactivated20170430]

this is important

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

ROGER WORKS

[unuthasbook-blog]

Roger please work your magic I need it now more than ever.

[xiaodanart]

jonathan sims, everyone.