welcome to the chaos

I mostly just reblog stuff

[royalninja]

Visit Original Link

@chefpyro

[gatorzaeder]

Take my gay cats, Tumblr!

This is part 1, the next part will be gender identity centered :)

[keroa]

reblog if AAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[numahachi]

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[phuiscribbles]

啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊  啊 啊 啊

[jukun]

[valbrandur]

[ddemotivators]

AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

[minervafloofderg-migrating]

[thegreenwolf]

[itsadragonaesthetic]

This is such an abstract type of comedy I don’t even know how to handle it

[shencomix]

[tooltiptailcoat]

i keep seeing people dousing their poor caine plushies

[raisans-art]

Prev | Next | First

Making sense, in the "more"and "less" variety

Enjoy!

[sabrebash]

dreamed there was this big moth with the soul of a 3 year old girl in it and when she wanted to be held she’d do this

[tsarina-anadyomene]

i kind of hate it when they cast the same 10 superstars who are in literally everything in a movie. celebrity-sickness

[tsarina-anadyomene]

not every movie needs to be an ensemble cast of timothee chalamet, zendaya, tom holland, robert pattinson, and anya taylor-joy

[lunarblazes]

i bet it feels good as fuck to start swaying on your feet after overtaxing your magic reserves

[dreamyfreakout]

this happens to me after working a five hour shift tho

[diamantefangs]

[xeansicemane]

This is kinda ominous ngl

[vexwerewolf]

Gotta compliment him on his reflexes. No hesitation. Just described exactly what he was seeing, regardless of what it was.

[wherefore-whinnies]

[VD: A weatherman is giving a report and pointing to a map, saying "feel like temperatures really take a tumble too, because after the storm-" before he is interrupted by the screen going black and then displaying a picture of some baby spinach. He says, "um," then immediately points to the screen and confidently announces, "this is baby spinach." /End VD]

[kaity--did]

Tonight on My Husband Doesn’t Know How to Baby Talk

“Ma’am, are you aware that these, right here are your hands? They belong to you. And you get to decide what happens with them. So when you use these hands to pull your binky out of your mouth that is not necessarily a dad problem. I’ll fix it obviously i just want you to acknowledge it’s not my fault”

[kaity--did]

Husband: ma’am it has been reported lately that you do in fact have tiny little toes and a little button nose, do you care to comment?

Penny Rose: Babbles in Baby

Husband: RIVETING!

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: Does that High Pitched Baby Yell ™️

Husband: Let it out friend! Feel your feelings!

[kaity--did]

Me: Hehehe silly husband doesn’t know how to do baby talk

All of tumblr collectively at my husband:

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: does a sad baby scream

Husband: you don’t even have to understand taxes yet! I can explain them but you’ve got several years before that’s relevant!

Penny Rose: wide eyes, staring at her father, almost intrigued

Husband: I lied to you Penny your mother does our taxes. Do you want to know about arbitration? I know all about arbitration.

[kaity--did]

THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND

yes he just walks around the house and talks to her like this

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: Cooing as twinkle twinkle little star plays

Husband: Now Penny there is a lot of misinformation out there in the world and I hate to tell you this but the moon is in fact not made of cheese. That is a conspiracy theory pushed by Big Dairy.

????

[kaity--did]

Husband: Holds Penny Rose up to her reflection in the microwave

Husband: you see Penny Rose! This was the M. Night Shyamalan twist! You were mirror baby all along!

[kaity--did]

FYI this is how you get a Deals Warlock if you were wondering

[justplainsalty]

I have follow up questions:

1) Did you participate in baby talk to make up for your husband's deficit, or did you also opt to speak to the Deals Warlock like a very tiny adult from babyhood?

1a) If you participated in baby talk with Penny, did she ever do any code switching with you while she was learning to talk (I mean, babyish talk back to you but fully formed adult like you share with us to Lawyer Dad)?

[kaity--did]

I didn't baby talk with her very much either! I think I squealed at her more than my husband did.

Something funny that has happened is that while she formally calls me Mama when she's answering me in passing she does call me "My Darling Love" and I don't know for sure but I think it's because I call her and her father "my loves" and her father calls me and her "darlings" and she's created a mash up 😂

So I'll say "okay penny it's time for bed" and I'll just hear "okay my darling love!" 😂

[kaity--did]

Everyone is always so so kind on this post but I do want to warn you all that this did in fact lead to an insanely verbal child, and if you choose that life you have to commit to that life.

Penny Rose is now 5 years old and she

1. Starts talking the moment she opens her eyes to the moment she passes out at night

2. Asks, and I am not exaggerating I counted, an average of 892 questions a day

3. Does not accept "I don't know" as an answer to said questions, will usually have a follow up question as to why you don't know OR a suggestion on how we can find out together

I pay for limitless data and have 709 Google tabs open on my phone at all times

[biglawbear]

I've been following Penny the Deals Warlock for years and I think if she chooses to she would grow up to be an awe inspiring lawyer

[kittyote]

when youre aromantic you still get dead wife flashbacks but its just about that really fucking good sandwich you ate last week

[normystical]

wedding dresses are white specifically so that if the bride goes axe-crazy you can rest assured you will see the blood stains all over her and it'll be sick as fuck

[dragon-in-a-fez]

never going to be over that time I was trying to explain polyamory to my mum, and she said "I just don't understand how someone could be in love with two people at once" and I gave her my the-cognitive-dissonance-is-causing-me-physical-pain face and she said "what??" and I very quietly said "mother....you had an affair...."

[storyweavingspider]

So I got outed as polyamorous to my mom by one of my partners when I was 18, and she turned to me and went “oh, whats polyamory?”

And lil me, panicked by Baby’s First Outing and wholly unprepared to answer this, responds with “it’s like what dad does but with consent”

She thought it was funny but I was mortified 😭

[fraseris]

no matter how bad things are going at least you aren't watching instagram reels right now

[foone]

Important rules for the "age verification" era of the internet that we're living in:

1. Do not do age verification.

2. If you have to do age verification, cheat. Do not under any circumstances give them your real ID.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

3. do anything you can to help others cheat, especially the young people targeted by these rules.

[fangorn-forest]

her eyes were the sickly green of the sky before a tornado, and to his horror he discovered she could throw cows around just as easily

[that-house]

to his horror? weak shit. outta my way gayboy im boutta get it

[that-house]

all of our trobles seem so small from up here