EXPECTATIONS
KIROKAZE
todays bird
Mike Driver
Not today Justin
tumblr dot com
šŖ¼

Love Begins
Game of Thrones Daily
No title available
h
occasionally subtle
RMH
The Stonewall Inn

⣠Chile in a Photography ā£

izzy's playlists!
Keni

titsay
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
I'd rather be in outer space šø

seen from Ukraine
seen from Kenya
seen from Ukraine
seen from Brazil
seen from Australia
seen from Spain

seen from Pakistan
seen from United States
seen from Spain
seen from United States

seen from Russia
seen from Italy
seen from Saudi Arabia
seen from Mexico
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Australia

seen from United States
seen from Norway
@casually-callous
the first time i heard the phrase āi need that like a hole in the headā it didnāt even occur to me that many people donāt live with passive suicidal ideation at all times so i just assumed it was a way of saying that you really really needed something and i have continued to use it that way ever since
Iris Van Herpen 'Architectonics' fall 2023 couture collection
context: my friends and i forced a capture the flag game to last an hour and a half because we had a gigantic engineer nest and the entire time i was mad-dogging the other team by saying ādance puppetā every time they talked. we ended up winning and i got this message right after
dance puppet
dance puppet
@mrpints peer reviewed
I don't know how to address this properly because I feel like every time I write about it I get the same misunderstandings from every direction.
the thing happening right now (at the very least in the US and UK) is that trans youth are actively and systemically losing access to healthcare. this has been gradually escalating since the start of the pandemic, and more young people lose healthcare every single year.
when I talk about this I tend to get two responses
"why do trans adults want to expand these experimental treatments to children who can't consent"
"providers offering care to trans adults is a step in the right direction, even if they aren't offering it to trans youth. the perfect is the enemy of the good. we can't fight our allies."
do you see how both the overtly transphobic version and the nominally "pro-trans" version replicate the same misinformation?
this is not a question of "should we expand access to trans youth?" trans youth have had access to medical transition care for a long time. what is happening is the care they already had access to is being made inaccessible and then criminalized systematically.
am I making sense? places refusing to offer care to trans youth are not "a step in the right direction" because that implies that the trend is expanding access that "begins" with trans adults and innately will gradually encompass young people. that is not the case. this is not a hypothetical thing that we can all have different theoretical opinions on. what is happening is the systematic revoking of healthcare.
the further this progresses, the more healthcare is restricted for more demographics. that's how this works. healthcare is being restricted across the board as part of the broader eugenics project. abortion is being restricted. vaccines are becoming more expensive. insurance companies are denying more treatments to disabled people. anti-fatness is surging. ableism is surging. there are active campaigns to get people to mistrust the very idea of healthcare in favor of "wellness" grifts. no one wears N-95 masks. this is the trend. it's been the trend.
I don't know how to communicate that we are not at an early step in a progressive trajectory, we are mid-stage in a eugenic order. please understand what I'm saying.
The act of simply watching people have sex is itself morally neutral. That's all porn is.
it isnāt, though. sorry if Iām missing a joke here but⦠it really, really isnāt.
It is. There is nothing wrong with watching people have sex. The morality of it depends on the context (buying porn from sex workers to watch is good, revenge porn is bad, for example), but watching people fuck? That's morally neutral. It's just watching some activities.
Almost all porn is abuse, you know that right? Most women in porn are drugged and then raped.
Even if she were paid, it would still be coercive, similarly to prostitution. You cannot buy women, or their consent. That immediately creates a coercive force that makes the consent invalid.
Ok so first of all you're lying. That is not how most porn works at all.
Regarding economic coercion, that's called having a job. But also I promise you there is a world of difference between trying to buy a person (for the love of fuck will you people ever aknowledge its not only women in porn and work conditions are a concern for EVERYONE involved) and someone making a career in porn.
Also re read what I said because you have said nothing that argues against what im saying AT ALL.
The way these people talk about sex workers genuinely makes me sick. Sex workers are not being bought, they are not owned by people paying them. They are compensated for their services or performance, like every other worker. They own themselves no matter what. They deserve dignity and respect and their work not being described in such horrible fucking ways.
And it's genuinely fucked up to tell people what they can and cannot consent to tbh? You don't get to choose that for others and then try to say you genuinely care about consent. You just want to control people.
Absolutely right. We are people, we own ourselves, we decide what we do and don't want to do. Honestly if I attach the criteria of pay and a camera to my consent, denying me that is no less fucked up than forcing that on me.
Puritanical christians/radfems and rapists/traffickers are two sides of the same coin and all ultimately working towards the goal of ruining people's lives for their own benefit.
Also, it needs to be repeated again that stigmatization of sex work leaves trafficking victims trapped. They are now in an even more socioeconomically disadvantaged position than before because no one will want to help an "icky porn star" who is being exploited.
To help trafficked and coerced sex workers we necessarily must end the demonization of sex work or else you are giving traffickers the literal tools to force unwilling people into it!
One of my family members was sex trafficked. Her case became a part of state legal precedent because her trafficker's conviction resulted in an expanded definition of one of the terms used to define trafficking (kept vague for the sake of my family's anonymity.) You know what one of the biggest barriers was to her getting help?
The fact that everyone she reached out to saw her as a stupid meth head "whore" and not a person who was fucking afraid for her life.
If society had shown sex workers some basic amount of decency, she might have had the social standing to get help sooner.
remember: a big part of what "sex work is work" means is "let sex workers have workers' protections"
I got to see a change in the criminal law, in real time, that shifted the window on how sex workers are treated in my state. Agencies that tended to treat them as perpetrators, even when they were victims, had their behavior changed the most. But even the more progressive police departments, and of course any number of labor- and benefit-related agencies, also got a few notches more understanding and accepting.
TL;DR: sex workers are people, sex work is work, and the road to utopia is paved with extremely boring legislation and administrative decisions.
begging people to see rape as bad bc itās abuse and not bc sex taints women and makes them impure. which is where the language of stuff like ābuyingā a woman comes from. like there are many arguments to be made about how the current state of the sex work industry is super fucked up (not bc sex is evil but bc itās often poorly regulated and highly stigmatised- this is not exclusive to sex work but itās often a big issue within it) but you canāt make any of those while also using misogynistic language around how women are ruined and impure after sex. that langauge and viewpoint is a huge part of the reason those fucked up issues exist.
(also this obviously depends heavily based on location and exact job bc people like to forget āsex workerā is a huge category of work. someone who writes erotica is a sex worker, for example, and i fail to see where the consent issues come into play there. arguing about literally all pornography and sex work like itās the exact same thing is not particularly helpful!)
I think we can drill down even more than that.
Rape is bad because it is *a violation of autonomy* (which is the part that makes it abuse). Why am I nitpicking?
"Abuse" framing with no further qualifiers is what misogynists and whorephobes exploit to paint sex work as abuse across the board. Not specifying the abusive element invites the audience to project their own views and the general public has quite skewed views of what is rape, what is abusive.
Under these frameworks, people tend to default to "what feels icky to me" to decide what counts. So sex work? That's rape. Kink? Also rape. Being coerced outside of a sex work context? Quite resistance instead of saying no? Without consent but otherwise vanilla? Its your partner? Your friend? Well that's not rape.
But when we insist on framing things as a matter of autonomy, the misogynists' and whorephobes' frameworks entirely fall apart. Then we have the right to dictate the circumstances where we consent. Be it for pay or not, be it with a camera or not, be it kinky or not. Violation of consent remains violation consent even if they slip some cash after, even if you felt forced to perform, even if you did not resist, even if they were gentle, even if you were made to say yes.
it would suck being a new immortal. like itād be 2109 and people would go,Ā āwhat was it like seeing ancient civilizations rise and fall like that? seeing the pyramids being built? watching the expansion and growth of the new world?ā and iād just be like,Ā ānoā¦no i was born in 1991. so like, wow iām gonna see some cool stuff, but, i mean iām not that much older than just a really, really old person, you know? phones were big back then. so big. but only for like ten years, then they got like, as good as they are now. uh. rhinos existed. donāt think i ever saw one in person. cool, good talk.ā
even worse, imagine being an immortal who keeps missing stuff.Ā āWhat was it like seeing the pyramids being built?ā āFuck if I know, I was in Madagascar.ā āOh, okay. Well, how was the Renaissance?ā āI fell down a hole in Scotland and people thought I was an enchanted well for four hundred years, it was over by the time I convinced someone to get me out.ā
And now, a lesson in biases:
We barely know anything about Madagascar pre-500CE. We donāt even know whether the island had a permanent population before then, despite finding a bunch of much older signs of temporary human presence.
Malagasy mythology makes mention of the vazimba, a āprecursorā ethnic group that might or might not be distinct from Madagascarās current population.
The point is, we do not know.
So you were in Madagascar when the pyramids were being built in Egypt, i.e. during one of the most obscure, most undocumented parts of Madagascarās human history?
Oh, buddy, you better go and make a bunch of anthropologists and archeologists really happy RIGHT NOW instead of feeling bad about missing everyone elseās pet Major Event.
Itās been a decade since we left that comment and you have the best reply anyoneās left to it.
Genuinely, one of the measures that's stopped book banning the most when districts implement it, is having the would-be banners fill out a form that demonstrates if they've read the book or not. Like where they have the summarize the plot and characters and do a mini book report and give a review. It stops them in their tracks. This is why in my high school, every time someone wanted to ban a book it ended up going nowhere. There was one where a conservative student wanted to ban the manga "Legal Drug" for having a marijuana leaf on the cover, then got the form that required them to actually read and either balked, or read it and realized it was not pro-drug at all. (The other one that reduces book bans even further is "requiring the would-be banner to be affiliated with this actual school in some way, either by being a student, faculty/staff or a parent of a child at the school" because the vast majority of bans are "activists" with no affiliation with the school who just travel around trying to do this in districts all over the U.S. IIRC a few years ago someone crunched the numbers and just 51 parents were responsible for all the book bans that year nationally. 51! In a country with 50 states, with over 300 million people total!)
Laws like this indeed do a lot to stop fascist book censorship. They can also help legally protect librarians from getting fired or harassed for keeping books on the shelves! Some states like Rhode Island have already passed these laws. If you're in a blue state, look up whether you have laws like this on the books. MAYBE your state is trying to get one passed right now, like New York's Freedom to Read bill. call your state elected officials to voice support for it.
SIMPLE GUIDE:
Body Horror: Things that cannot happen in real life. EX: The Thing, stomach mouths, eyes on hands, etc
Gore: Fresh injuries, often severe. EX: Severed leg, gutspill, deep gashes, etc
NEITHER: Healed injuries and burns, congenital differences, missing appendages, etc. If I could theoretically go to the store and see that character browsing the isles- It isn't body horror or gore. That's just a person. *AND the amount of people that tag, not just fictional characters, but real human beings as body horror is staggering. Its not solely a fandom issue, ableism and bigotry against anyone that looks sufficiently "different" is prevalent in real life and has devastating consequences.
(Modified) from my comment left on this post.
People need to understand that the point ISNāT ābeing single is not a failure if youāre aromanticā, the point is being single is not a failure full stop.
You can be allo and be single; itās allowed. You feeling attraction doesnāt mean your priority NEEDS to be finding romance (it can be! But it also can not).
Being single should be normalized no matter what your romantic/sexual orientation is. It isnāt a tragedy.
how eerie to hear they're going to remake carrie. how eerie to hear they have made the mother into some kind of gentle well-meaning figure.
carrie is almost explicitly about the cycles of abuse. it is almost explicitly about how women and girls are taught to reproduce the patriarchy. it cannot be isolated from either message.
it shows cruel teenagers not as a random whacky plot point but instead to highlight that we are taught to mock other girls for not being fuckable; lest we ourselves be considered not-fuckable. we will eat our own kind to survive. nobody helps her because to help carrie would be to turn against the patriarchy.
carrie's mother has experienced abuse at the hands of her husband and religion not as a "sad backstory" but instead because it lampshades her behavior when she then turns and abuses her daughter while citing that same religion. we are forced to ask the question: what is the difference between the patriarchy and religion? aren't they both systems of control? we often see mothers as being the "ultimate" in innocence and kindness - but this book challenges that narrative. abusive mothers exist, and and always have. abusive women exist and always have. white women, after all, love voting for donald trump.
men are almost absent from the book, but their presence lingers. it feels almost like the red mark made after a slap - the men do not have to be there; the women will continue to abide by the rules without question. it is a devastating, haunting condemnation of the notion of feminine fragility. it accurately asserts that women are cruel, are capable, are power-hungry - and often are hiding behind perceived innocence to mask that cruelty. the abuse carrie experiences rests in a doubled betrayal: it is because of another woman. the supposed "sisterhood" is revealed to be thin, a guise of equanimity that is only offered to the "right" type of girl/woman.
many of us were not the right type of girl.
to go back on these main and obvious themes of the book - to rewrite the mother as some caring and sad creature is... a curious choice. i can't explain it, but it feels almost like censorship to me. it refuses a deeper meaning of the book (and one that questions the patriarchy) in favor of the incredibly thin plot of "what if scary girl had scary powers." i literally don't even know what level of misogyny it is that we have to defang everyone around her in order to tell her story. i'm baffled by it.
in the era of trad wives endlessly posting abusive content of their children online - the adaptation had plenty of meat to modernize her mother. in the era of AI and revenge porn and social media - there's a huge amount of space for a competent writer to play around in. after all, if the abuse is recorded and posted to media - and as the audience we're watching it without interfering - the story is now about us. it asks us who we are comfortable bullying.
it's okay if you feel like you don't have the writing chops to talk about how many religions are abusive and tacitly enable domestic violence. it's okay if you feel like you couldn't write a believable teenage bully. it's okay if you're just interested in "scary girl has scary powers."
but maybe, i don't know, choose a different fucking story?
some replies:
#true crime is one of those genres where when its done well and when its done ethically#it can be really important in highlighting things like police corruption and false confessions and institutional bigotry etc.#documentaries like 13th or the thin blue line#or podcasts like unjust and unsolved#theyre so well done and done ethically and done with a purpose beyond entertainment#but then theres this other entire side of the genre which is just like tragedy porn and exploitation#people making entire documentaries or podcasts about tragedies without ever even contacting the family to ask for permission#glorifying serial killers#random tiktokers trying to solve murders in real time#i mean thereās that damn tiktok psychic who used tarot cards to communicate with god in order to solve a murder and then accused a random#woman of committing the murder and having an affair with one of her students#its so insane#i dont even know what the solution to it is because i dont think writing off the entire genre is the best option#because again theres very good true crime pieces and a lot of those pieces deliberately shine a light on police misconduct and give voices#to people who should have them or highlight cases that neither the police nor media paid any attention to#but something has to be done to stop all the exploitation and cruelty#it reminds me of wwii documentaries where there are some amazing documentaries out there#and then theres the shit the history channel does with all their nazi documentaries
can i speak my truth is this a safe space
not to save my fucking LIFE will you ever get me in a hot yoga class
i don't CARE how many of my friends fall victim to the propaganda and talk about how cleansed and renewed they feel afterwards
like HELL will you EVER get me into an exercise done in ON-PURPOSE HOT ROOM
DEATH FIRST
So I do 3D modeling and printing as a hobby, and a few weeks ago I designed wheel guards meant to prevent office chairs from running over cables and clothes... or your pet's tail.
I got the idea from cowcatchers old locomotives used to have.
Anyways, yesterday I uploaded the model to Thingiverse, and just hours after uploading it, the Community Relationship Manager of the whole website left a comment suggesting I enter the model into a competition that's currently being held on the site.
So I did... and now it's in third place not even a day later. First place is $500, but the competition still has a month to go.
Then the Community Manager contacted me again, telling me they want to feature my model in anĀ upcoming design promotion.
Just, what is happening? I mostly made this thing for myself in, like, an hour, and now it's suddenly super popular? This is all a little bit overwhelming šµāš«
Other models I worked on for weeks didn't get nearly as popular. I swear, it's impossible to predict what people will like.
Anyways, if you want to print the wheel guards yourself, you can get the model here or here.
I also made a quiet version you can stick furniture felt pads on.
today i would like to be ok. today i would like to have a soft & slow day. today i would like to finish a song. i would like to hold my cat & tell him he's my sweet & handsome old man a million times. i would like to giggle at an entertaining youtube video & seek out an album i've never heard before. i'd like to make some tea & sit outside with the wind for a while. i'd like to write another dried up streambed of consciousness post to greet my corner of tumblr & say hello & good morning & i hope you get to be happy today. i'd like to let somebody know that i love them
did you know that i love you?
this is free advice for anyone else with a mother who likes to pull a "yeah, she doesn't want to give me grandchildren" in front of other people to try and shame you for not wanting kids
if you hit 'em back with a very genuine, "yeah, she's really disappointed i won't let her use me like a broodmare," then EVERYONE gets to be uncomfortable about someone else being mad they can't use your body for their own wants <3
it did take a few repetitions until i finally progressed to, "yeah, she's really sad i won't let her pimp me out as a broodmare," but it did eventually make her stop completely
so y'know
when in doubt, wreck the vibe for everyone
you've heard of "quiet quitting," now I'd like to introduce you to the next level, The French Work Ethic:
Do exactly what you're paid for and nothing more
Absolutely refuse to be available to contact when you're off the clock
Never prioritize work over your own health, wellbeing, or family because that would be insane, it's just a job.
Have a little glass of wine
Take as long as you feel like for lunch
Deeply understand that work doesn't matter
Make sure your boss your boss knows they're always your second priority ā¤ļø
š£ļø Hey, young Americans:
Old Millennial American speaking here. I need you to adopt this mentality as early as possible and hold to it. The older you get, the harder it is to begin this practice and claw back the extremely unhealthy effects of a workaholic lifestyle. I am speaking from 20 years of experience.
This does not mean having a shitty attitude at work, or not doing your job, or relying on co-workers to carry your water.
This means you do what it says above. It also means not making work and productively your entire personality; not tying your productivity to your value; and not becoming so emotionally enmeshed in your work and workplace so that you are living and dying by what happens there.
Good luck out there. American workplace culture is mostly designed to work you to death. Moving against that tide can be challenging, so having a healthy mindset is important to living a life not consumed by your paid labor.