maniacal mishaps

maggie-24-awaiting the release of this mortal coil

[autie-j]

Me walking away from the stadium with my giant soup bowl after I realized I misheard and it's not actually called the soup bowl

[freegiftjones]

one time i was making potato soup and i needed broth for it but i was out of broth. but in my dog food cabinet there was a carton of chicken broth that i had bought for my dog. now the box did say HUMAN GRADE and the ingredients were just bog standard chicken broth. it did say something about joint health for dogs on there. but the ingredients were normal. i even compared the ingredients list to some normal person broth and they were the same. so i did put dog broth in that soup and it did taste completely normal. but i did use the dog broth.

[chicknparm]

[trueka]

adding highlights to my drawings while not knowing or ignoring where the light source is

[jessebloom]

at a certain age i’m gonna have to stop looking for an older woman to take care of me and starting looking for a younger woman to take advantage of me

[tanadrin]

So one of the things that can apparently contribute to kidney issues in cats is if they eat too much dry food and don't drink enough water; cats are adapted to get a lot of their water from their food since they're originally desert animals, and might not get enough water if they don't eat wet food. Unfortunately, Dozy won't eat wet food no matter what; she categorically refuses to touch the stuff. So a few months ago, we were looking for ways to get Dozy more fluids, and my wife noticed at the pet store a cat drink--basically meat broth with some floaty bits in--that was low-protein and meant for cats with kidney issues. So we figured, worth a try, right?

Great news: she loved it. Super tasty apparently. Great success. Along with the kidney-sensitive treats we found, it was a nice way to supplement her diet. Unforseen long-term consequence though: she loved it so much she began demanding it throughout the day. Like, would come up to us and meow, and meow, and meow, and not stop, until we got up, went to the kitchen, and got her some cat drink.

And by doing so on demand, we have unfortunately created a monster: no matter what we are doing at home, Dozy knows that if she sits next to you and meows, 1) you know what she wants, and 2) you know that she will not stop until you get it for her now. And when you do get it, she gets extremely excited. She will bum rush the kitchen door as you enter. She will run around your feet as you open the can. She will let out the creakiest, crunchiest, most nails-on-the-chalkboard meow you've ever heard if she thinks you're not going fast enough.

I do not begrudge her this. It is gratifying to care for a creature whose most ardent desires are so simple that it is this easy to fulfill them. But I am a little sad, because I know in my heart that I have never loved any comestible as much as she loves this cat drink. She has a pleasure of a purity and intensity that I will never know.

[the creacher in question]

[teaboot]

Nothing on earth could have prepared me for the fucking face of Dozy

[littered-letters]

The face of Dozy struck me with divine inspiration. I have never felt so compelled to create.

[liberalsarecool]

Stay engaged.

[loveridden1999]

[shetheyslain]

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

[tatters-the-bat]

Are they like..... Yknow.... [Goes to do a hand gesture but forgets I'm a wizard and I accidentally cast Lv50 lightning bolt]

[itwashotwestayedinthewater]

[itwashotwestayedinthewater]

happy decade to the horrible beast i have wrought

[cybervom1t]

new compliment just dropped

[fullmetalfisting]

I know that “fwiw” means “for what it’s worth.” I know that. But every time I read it, my brain translates it to “fwom what I wemembew”

[elmyraerased]

[fieldexplores]

Never Learned - Gator Days

[twenty-fourth-order-simulacra]

...the alt text?

[innerchildabortionclinic]

you know what, now that I think about it- how much behavioral differences between young boys and girls are completely manufactured? by that I mean, how many would exist without the concept of women being subordinate to men? do boys actually struggle to behave more in school or do they struggle with the amount of women in authority positions? I don't believe we're actually so different at a young age once you get down to it

[northirish]

Vote for me and I will make werewolves real

[northirish]

Top scientists wil work hard round the clock to make it a reality

[northirish]

Bottom scientists as well

[toskarin]

oh my god it hurts

[toskarin]

and it's going to hurt forever

[toskarin]

every now and then I see people passing screencaps of these posts around, and in the months after I made this post there were people checking in on me assuming I was going through grief or depression or something

to set the record straight, the context is that I had covid and was bleeding from my throat and lungs, but for some ungodly reason, I was feverishly driven to drink lemonade and kept screaming and writhing because I was pouring fizzy lemon juice on open throat wounds

[xiranjayzhao]

Can't Wait For

Dashcon 2 3: Empire Dashcon 2 4: The Ballpit Queen Restoration Dashcon 2 5: Revolution 2 Electric Boogaloo Dashcon 2 6: Cringe Nepo Nephew Era Dashcon 2 7: Toronto Commune (this is gonna be the saddest one) Dashcon 2 8: The War to End All Wars Dashcon 2 9: Minions Ice Cave Timeskip So We Don't Have to Do World War II