okay but for real one of the biggest breakthroughs i had about teaching right before the outbreak and shutdowns happened was that good kids need to be corrected too. and like–obviously i knew that in theory. I knew that it should be objective and about the rules and if a kid breaks a rule, regardless of what kind of person they are, there should be the same consequences but in practice it’s frighteningly easy to rely on the categories you have created in your mind for the kind of person each of your students are and react accordingly.
and look–the categories of “good kid” and “bad kid” are false and harmful and inaccurate and we should definitely do away with them but there ARE kids who actively want to push your buttons, test your boundaries, aggravate you and who do so while looking to see if you’re going to follow through. They know what they’re doing, they expect a consequence, sometimes I think they almost want one, and so it’s easier to steel yourself to do it even as a first year teacher. Their knowledge of what they’re doing and their expectation that something should happen in response, even if it might not happen, makes the whole thing so much easier.
but correctly responding to a kid who breaks the rules without consciously trying to aggravate you, who’s doing it because they think they can get away with it but not even as a challenge and a dare, just because they want to do math homework quietly in the back of your classroom while half-listening, because they do care about their grades and they’ve sometimes even correctly decided that they can do this and still get fine grades in both classes, is so much harder. it’s so awkward because they don’t expect pushback, because usually their rule breaking is quiet, because they’re not used to it and so receive it with a sensitivity and a hurt that stings twice as hard for you.
but you do have to do it. you have to hold to the same principles for everyone or you literally are being unfair and you have to respect yourself, your time, their time, and them enough to call them out consistently and fairly. and I only managed to do this a couple of times in a few instances but I will never forget the feeling and also the way I instantly felt a deeper level of respect in them for me and a resolve to try harder and be better in them, because they do want to please and why shouldn’t I channel that into expecting more from them rather than less at every turn and reminding them that they need to hold themselves to that standard. It was amazing and I want to keep working at that.
