women are genuinely the greatest thing ever created, you’d be crazy not to adore them with your whole being
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Claire Keane
Keni
Monterey Bay Aquarium
almost home
macklin celebrini has autism

oozey mess
h
Cosimo Galluzzi

Kiana Khansmith
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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Doug Jones
KIROKAZE
One Nice Bug Per Day
taylor price
Fai_Ryy
official daine visual archive
No title available
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

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@cozz-mo
women are genuinely the greatest thing ever created, you’d be crazy not to adore them with your whole being
No one ever tell me anything bad about the person who runs this account.
the person who runs this account, Katie Gouldin, is an evolutionary biologist who has an EXCELLENT podcast called Creature Feature which compares and contrasts the weird behaviors of man and beast! she is super cute and funny too!
oh thank GOD
just want to add i love how much she hates elon
yeah okay ill reblog that
She is also credited by the Audubon society with coining the word “birb”
Also source for probably the best reaction image in history:
basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*
*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god
*thunderous slam dunk noise*
This website is complete shit
“the everything”
[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]
Mitch McConnell's pr team right now:
"i love being outside at night, it's so peaceful"
me, outside at night, the moment our headphones die
did anyone hear that
i think there's something out here
i'm scared. is anyone there?
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT
I bet her duel deck is fucking insane.
Piracy is a “victimless crime”? Idk i was kinda hoping there would be a victim. I want the mouse dead
Principal: What are you two doing over there?
In first study of its kind, Cambridge researchers found AI toys could misread some children's emotions.
I would take a job pushing the Sisyphus rock if it paid 20 an hour and I could wear my headphones
they are poisoning us today with a thursday poison little do they know we’ve been through a few thursday poisonings so it won’t kill us just yet
Driving around my town trying to find one single burger just one burger or a hot dog but Unfortunately everythings just rubble and twisted scaffolding upstretched and rotting and theres shit on fire and a big black ass sky
Guess i cant do shit anymore Cause the sewers are all muddied with a thousand lonely suicides... And yep, you guessed it: a dark wind blows.
I really like it when horses look like this
mr. beast in 2008
a severe thursday warning is in effect. take shelter now.