k but imagine Rocky wanting to learn about how humans became the apex predators of their planet so he has Grace “hunt” him in the biodome as an experiment and during it he thinks Grace isn’t trying or taking it seriously which is bad bad bad because this is for research purposes
only for Rocky to get more and more tired as the experiment goes on just to realize that Grace isn’t which makes him panic so he puts as much distance as he can between them and finds a (hopefully) safe spot to sleep and when he wakes up the human is crouching over him like “got youuu” and Rocky has never shrieked so damn loud before in his life
sooo this inspired me and then prev's tags did too:
so there's a mini fic under the cut I smashed out in like an hour. kinda low effort but whatever. might keep it going on ao3 with more little experiments
At some point, Grace of course realizes it's living in a zoo enclosure. Then comes a Discussion.
"Rocky."
It sat Rocky down and brought up the subject by being uncharacteristically blunt and saying "Look, I would've appreciated a heads-up before becoming a zoo attraction."
Which sent Rocky into a total panic - it told the xenology team to not let Grace know! Now Grace is going to be offended or mad about being a zoo animal! There's no way to sugarcoat this! - and had it screeching out apologies. It won't be able to withstand Grace being mad at it, because the last time Grace was mad at Rocky Grace ignored Rocky. IGNORED. The silent treatment had grated so bad on Rocky's nerves it felt like it was going to go insane.
"ROCKY! CHILL OUT!"
Rocky slows. Grace is still kneeling from where it had settled after first saying 'we need to talk' (worst words in the universe, by the way). Rocky doesn't get any closer, just fiddles nervously with its fingers.
"Rocky, look. This isn't- I'm not mad about it. Honest! I kinda…" It rubs the back of its 'neck' with a hand. "Kinda already figured it out a while ago."
Grace laughs, flashing its 'teeth'. "I mean, we'd do the same thing on Earth if this was all reversed. I get it! I'm an alien, I knew this was a possibility."
"Along with dissection," Rocky grumbles. "And starving to death. Does not mean good thing. Does not mean Grace happy about it."
"But I am! Look, Eridians are learning from me, right?"
Rocky hums a begrudging confirmation.
"Then I'm happy about it! You know me. Once a teacher, always a teacher. Plus, it could be worse."
That is true, all of it. Rocky sighs. "Okay. If Grace is sure Grace not mad at Rocky…"
"I'm sure, buddy. C'mere." Grace reaches forward and wraps Rocky in a 'hug'. Rocky accepts it, reciprocates, feeling the familiar noises of Grace's organs.
"Team will ask more questions," Rocky warns. "Want to do experiments on Solean behavior."
"Oho, boy. I'm looking forward to that."
And Grace isn't lying, and neither is Rocky: within days of the conversation, the xenology team is approaching Grace and asking many more questions about Solean things, especially enrichment and differences between their respective biological functions. They already were, of course, but something seems to have emboldened them.
What everyone finds absolutely ridiculous is Solean hunting, though.
"Sorry," Historian Lilith wheezes out. It's almost laughing too hard to keep going. "You're saying- you- Soleans just walk your prey to death? And you became the apex predators on your planet? How does that work?!"
Every other member of the team present is cackling, including Rocky: Grace alone stands sober, pouting in the way it does when it's offended.
"What's so unbelievable about that?! It's a very effective way to hunt!"
Rocky snorts. "Grace lying. No way walking is efficient! Ambush is better. Example!" And Rocky lunges playfully for Grace, relishing the squeal and the scramble backwards. Then Grace stands up taller. "Okay! I'll show you. Who wants to get hunted?"
Everyone instantly steps back, leaving Rocky at the forefront. Figures. All that talk about how it's not realistic and yet they scatter at the idea of being the prey. Frankly, Rocky can't blame them - nobody wants to be hunted, after all, especially by an alien that breathes oxygen - but it raises a hand anyways. "I volunteer. Grace hunt me. Then we know truth once and for all."
The grin that split Grace's face somehow seems even creepier than usual. It goes off to prepare, murmuring about contacting the substitute teacher that takes over when Grace gets sick. Huh?
Rocky disregards that and prepares by simply making sure the atmosphere suit is fully ready. It knows Grace isn't really going to hurt it, but it has to reassure several members of the xenology team and Adrian, who's come to watch, of that fact. "Seriously? It's Grace. Grace won't hurt me. Grace can't even hurt me!" It starts to mutter about how ridiculous they're all being when someone points out that Grace could potentially break the atmosphere suit with the abundance of rocks in the enclosure, trapping Rocky in the deadly Solean-safe atmosphere, which stops Rocky dead.
It's Atmosphere Specialist Superman, well-known to be paranoid even at the best of times. Eridians have no 'faces' like Soleans, but Rocky deliberately rotates towards the idiot just to hammer in the absolute stupidity of what Superman just said, and then smacks Superman so hard several team members have to pull it off of the scientist. It's swearing and screeching the entire time, and it takes a few Earth hours to calm down properly.
The very idea of Grace deliberately hurting Rocky in such a way - when Rocky knows for a fact the scars from the Adrian Incident are still fully apparent to the Solean senses, when Grace spent months freaking out over every little sneeze or cough Rocky made when in the prototypes of the atmosphere suit - is preposterous. Grace would never ever hurt Rocky like that, would never do anything to expose Rocky to its atmosphere ever again even accidentally. They're both so very careful about it. Rocky is still steaming about Superman's insinuations when it walks inside Grace's enclosure.
Grace is waiting by the airlock. Rocky huffs. "Unfair. Go farther. Too close for start, cheater."
Grace holds up its hands in the almost-happy movement ("When I put my hands up like this, this means surrender.") and steps away a good distance. It's still smiling. "Not gonna matter, Rock," it calls. "I'm about to get you back for alllll those times you ambushed me on the trip here."
"Yeah, right!" Rocky shifts, preparing to run. "We see who is better predator."
"Ready?"
"Ready!"
"GO!"
Rocky bolts. The sand is hard to traverse, its arms slipping both from the xenonite covering and the loose grains, but it already knows it's a faster runner than Grace. And when it clicks to see where Grace is, Grace is so far behind it's laughable. Oh, this is gonna be easy.
Rocky reaches the edge of the biodome, a little worn out from the run. Luckily, it just had a sleep cycle, so it won't need to sleep for another few Solean days. Grace is out of range. HA!
It meanders back closer until it can hear Grace, leisurely strolling along the beach. "What wrong, Grace? Too slow?" It calls out.
A ripple of laughter comes from Grace. "You'll be eating your words soon enough." It sticks its hands in its pockets.
Rocky snorts, and decides to continue to be a little shit. It goes back and darts around Grace, mocking it, staying juust far enough away where if Grace lunges Grace won't even be able to touch it. Grace does give chase eventually, but Rocky just carefully climbs up the cliff face. Damn, humans are stupid! Every time Rocky thinks they're not so bad, Grace does something like this. It's not even chasing Rocky! It's just slowly following.
The biodome cycles over to night, Rocky can tell by the click! of the flashlight Grace carries. It settles on top of the cliff, enjoying the sounds of Grace trying its damndest to climb the cliff. Technically it's well past the time Grace should be asleep, but they're both too stubborn to call quits and the xenology team isn't in a hurry to interrupt this glimpse into Solean hunting methods.
Rocky has to run again when Grace reaches the top of the cliff and starts to chase it again. This keeps going, Rocky running and mocking Grace, Grace just continuing on, unshakable. Rocky only starts to worry when night falls again and Grace is still able to catch up to it!
It yells to Grace, who's a slightly shorter distance behind by now. "Grace need sleep."
"Grace has slept." Grace shouts back. "Remember, I can wake up easily. I've been sleeping and eating regularly, I promise."
"Good!" Rocky lets itself feel some relief that Grace isn't neglecting its health for this experiment. Then it goes right back to insults. "Then Grace have no excuse to be so slow!" It makes a 'fart' noise in Grace's direction and scuttles off, laughing at the offended sound Grace makes.
Day comes again, and Rocky gets frustrated. What in the actual fuck?! Something's not right. Grace has been at this for two Earth days and nights now. If Grace was going to catch Rocky, shouldn't that have happened by now? Is Grace even taking this experiment seriously?
Well, Rocky does know Grace is taking it seriously, because Grace is doing it. Hasn't given up. Hasn't called it quits. So the only reason why must be because this persistence way of hunting is, in fact, not effective, and Grace is just too stubborn to admit it! HA! Get wrecked, Grace.
Frustration turns to glee, which then curdles into nervousness as the day still goes on with no sign of Grace stopping the pursuit. They've both been running in circles: the biodome's not that big, all told, and Rocky can't access a quarter of it due to the fake ocean. No matter how long Rocky runs, there is always the inevitable appearance of Grace on the horizon, and Rocky refuses to entertain any other notion than that the reason for it is the small space. The alternative is too scary to consider.
And, even scarier, Rocky can feel a sleep cycle is imminent. It's exhausted. All the running it's been doing must have brought the sleep cycle on sooner. And Grace, last Rocky heard, still shows no sign of tiredness. Urgh!
Rocky pushes itself just a little harder, until Grace is far beyond Rocky's range of hearing and Rocky is well hidden: Grace is still on top of the cliffs over by the outer wall of the dome, while Rocky's down below nearer to the water. Then it finds one of the caves. It knows this cave in particular is the science cave, where the xenology team has been watching on the camera feeds and listening to this whole debacle, and where Grace usually goes to talk to the xenology team about things.
"I have to sleep," Rocky manages. "Can't keep going." It collapses, and the world vanishes. No worries. Grace won't catch up, and if it does, it won't think to look for Rocky here.
When Rocky wakes, it first hears a clamoring from the observation room. Many voices shouting over one another in panic. It sends a spike of fear through Rocky, and it taps at the floor to hear better - and nearly has a cardiac failure then and there, screaming louder than it's ever screamed before in its life.
Grace is standing right. over. Rocky. Looming, really, and it's never sounded taller or more ominous.
"Hiiii."
Then Grace plunges down, wraps its arms around Rocky. "Gotcha!" It opens its mouth and presses it to Rocky's carapace, leaking saliva all over the suit and pressing its tongue to the xenonite as if it's trying to eat Rocky.
Rocky shudders in disgust and cusses Grace out with every word it knows, smacking it lightly with an arm. "CREEPY! Scared Rocky, nearly kill Rocky with heart attack! No no no bad Grace! BAD BAD BAD GRACE!" This is not the first time this has happened, but it's the first time it's struck such raw fear into Rocky.
Grace is laughing, sending vibrations through Rocky's body. "I told you," it says in that light singing kind of voice it likes to do. "I tooooold youuuu! Persistence predators, baby!"
"That no count! You wait until I fall… asleep…" A horrible idea begins to dawn on Rocky. "No." There's no way. There's no way. It's too awful to think of, and yet it's the only possibility.
"Well-" Grace settles back, crosses its legs underneath it and turns towards the window to the observation room: where, by the way, everyone's gone silent with their own realization of what exactly Grace just did. "You guys didn't let me finish explaining earlier. See, a lot of prey animals on Earth are very fast for short sprints, like Rocky here." It gives Rocky a noogie. "But they can only run for so long before they have to stop moving to catch their breath. So humans evolved to be able to endure long stretches of exercise without having to stop for air. We chase an animal, track it using its footprints or the direction it was going in, keep following it, and then eventually when the animal's forced to stop, we catch up and kill it for our food. So that's what I just did!" Grace flashes its teeth again. It's terrifyingly happy about all of this.
Meanwhile, Rocky quite literally cannot move from fear. Grace has sparked fear before: their first meeting, when Rocky had no clue what to expect but it certainly wasn't some squishy cold bag of meat that breathed oxygen of all things; over Adrian the planet, when the ship had been sent into an uncontrolled spin and Rocky had known what it would have to do to save Grace and Earth and Erid all at once even if it meant death; for a few moments when Rocky had been floating in its tomb, the original Eridian ship, and had heard a cracking-thumping sort of noise coming from outside.
All of those instances were tiny bits of dust next to this type of fear. The revelation that Rocky's wonderful and clumsy friend could have, just now, very easily killed Rocky in Rocky's sleep and that its species did so regularly was the singular most horrifying concept anyone could ever have imagined. Grace probably had no idea that the Solean way of hunting was the stuff of the worst Eridian horror stories. Something that just kept going, kept chasing you until you were forced to rest? Fucking WHY?! WHY, of all the aliens Rocky could have EVER brought home, was it a species THAT HUNTED LIKE THAT?! WHY?!
"That-" it weakly starts - still feeling like it was about to, as the Soleans say, 'shit its pants' - "Very… nice, Grace. Thank for demonstration."
It crawls out from under Grace's arm. "Back soon," and lunges for the airlock. It needs… more than a little bit of processing time. That whole thing was fucking disturbing.
Grace just waves, oblivious to Rocky's internal turmoil. "See you later, Rocky!"
Tim: Dick, no one else is even in the running. please be so fr right now
Damian: What are you arguing about?
Dick: Damian! Damian can do it! He’d be great at it.
Tim: No, Damian’s gonna follow his paternal grandfathers lead and be a doctor. Everyone only has to take on ONE element of Bruce. Try again
Jason: They are arguing about which one of us should be the newest representative for the Justice League for when Bruce finally conks it.
Damian: That would be an honor no? Richard you would be a competent ruler.
Cas: Leader
Damian: Whatever. I assume Timothy will be taking on WE in the event of father’s passing, so wouldn’t Jason also be in the running?
Tim: No i called dibs on Jason
Jason: What? What are you talking about. You can’t call dibs on me. What if I want to run the Justice League?
Tim: You don’t. You are going to run the Wayne foundation. Take from the rich give to the poor. Modern day Robin Hood—Very on brand for you. Don’t worry I have the contracts and everything ready.
Jason: …
Jason: Ok deal. Sorry Dickie, looks like your going to rule the interplanetary alliance :P
Dick: I don’t wanna!
Tim: What, do you wanna switch?
Dick: Well, no—
Tim: Also you’re the only one that makes sense.
Dick: I’ll do anything else, please that’s too much responsibility.
Tim: Okay. Be Batman.
Dick: …
Dick: Yea never mind. Running the Justice League won’t be that hard.
Damian: Wait so who will be Batman?
Cass: Dibs
Damian, Tim, Jason, Dick: Fair
Bruce, who’s been sitting at the dining room table with them the whole time: Are you done dividing my assets and responsibilities between yourselves now? Can we eat our dinner?
why would 8 be brought up if it’s EVEN in a post about ODDS??????? the post said “every single ODD number has an ‘e’ in it” not “every single number with an ‘e’ is odd” what the fuck
I remember one time I got INSANELY high off of edibles while playing Among Us, and it quickly became apparent to the other players online. I forget how honestly but literally anything "sus" I did was ignored by everyone because I was so fucking high. I tested this theory by standing in front of a body and the person that actually reported it didn't even mention me. The funniest part was when I was trying to do wires, I kept fucking up over and over again, so I was just standing in front of wires for actual minutes trying to figure it out. A small crowd of players gathered around me to watch and would get mad every time someone reported a body or emergency meeting because "she's never going to get her tasks done if you keep interrupting them." I don't think anyone cared about winning at that point, they just wanted to see the high crew mate succeed in her tasks.
Not ever crying is POWERFUL. Healthy? No. But when you have a character who never cries who just fucking loses it?? Holy shit
All this to say, Batman's children are manipulative as hell when need be. Some of them definitely can cry on command, but if they do so too often, the effects lessen, so they choose wisely.
Who do they manipulate with these crocodile tears? Their overprotective, very intimidating, very no-nonsense father, of course.
Dick, age 11, accidentally flips into Superman, which is essentially like running into a wall and winds up faceplanting on the floor: Owww
Superman: oh sorry, buddy! But y'know this is why Batman told you not to do those flips in the halls-
Dick, embarrassed and afraid Batman is going to yell at him, immediately starts crying: B! B!
Superman, panicked: no, no, shh, hey, it's okay, I'm sorry, here let me help-
Dick, sobbing: no! You'll hurt me again!
Batman, appears out of nowhere: What. Did. You. Do.
Superman: he ran into me, I didn't-
Batman: is your name not "super" man? Could you not use your "super" hearing or "super" vision or "super" speed to get out of the way?
Superman: he's fine! It wasn't my-
Dick, bravely through his tears: my head hurts
Batman, gently: do u think u have a concussion, chum?
Dick: I d- don't know I just wanna go h-home
Batman: of course, we'll go home now and after dinner we'll get ice cream, just the two of us. How does that sound?
Dick, sniffing: okay
Batman, whispering to Superman: if u ever so much as touch a hair on my son's head again I will pour boiling liquid kryptonite in your ears while you sleep. From now on you are dead to me. I'll see you in hell, Clark Kent.
Superman: bruce that seems a little extreme-
Batman: another word and I'll guarantee after I'm done with you, your funeral will have to be closed casket
Superman:
Batman: okay, chum, let's get you home! *picks up his child*
Dick, peering over Bruce's shoulder at Clark with a small smile, mouthing: sorry, Uncle Clark, love you
Superman muttering to himself: heaven help us if he adopts more children
Bart: what r the chances the Justice League won't blame us for this?
Kon, sarcastically: yeah, they probably won't even notice
Bart: cmon, we stopped the alien invasion! That counts for something!
Cassie: we leveled the city!
Bart: the league has done way more damage- no one got hurt!
Cassie: the! Whole! City! After ignoring direct orders! Wonderwoman is gonna kill me, and Batman is going to kill all of us-
Tim: no. He won't.
Kon: do you have a plan?
Bart: he does! I can see it in his face!
Cassie: they'll be here any second, Robin, if you're going to do something-
Tim: i know! I'm trying to concentrate, I haven't perfected the technique yet.
Kon: what are you talking abou-
*Superman, WonderWoman, Flash, and Batman appear dramatically*
Bart, whispering: whatever happens, I'll never forget you guys, I regret nothing
Cassie, also whispering: don't let Conner give a speech at my funeral
Kon, angry whispering: rude as hell. I'm going to tell them it was your idea now
Wonder Woman: Hera help us. How did this happen?
Flash: yikes. Yeah, this is... not great
Superman: an understatement
Batman: Robin, report!
Tim:
Batman: Robin?
Tim: *starts sobbing*
Everyone, shocked:
Batman, extremely alarmed, immediately by Robin's side: are you injured, Robin?
Tim: *incoherent crying noises*
Batman, gently: talk to me, buddy. Are you okay?
Tim: *cries harder*
Wonder Woman: clearly, the children have been through much trial. Conversations of consequences can wait until after recovery.
Superman: woah, hold on, you believe those crocodile tears?
Flash, glaring at Superman: seriously?
Superman: Bru- Batman, he's faking!
Batman, harshly: not now, Superman
Superman: but-
Batman, hissing: not now!
Batman, calmly, sweetly: I'm going to pick you up now, son, is that okay?
Tim: *nodding, crying, immediately clinging to Batman like his life depends on it*
Batman, cooing soothingly: you're safe, I'm not mad, i think we've both earned a break for the day, it's alright *picks up Robin and starts walking away*
Tim, over Batman's shoulder, makes eye contact with his teammates and gives a subtle wink: *resumes crying*
Superman: there! You all saw that right? Right??
Wonder Woman: *glares at Superman in disgust*
Bart, heartbroken: can I go check on Robin later? I'm really worried about him
Flash: aww, of course, kiddo!
Cassie: he's been through so much, please, don't blame him
Kon: If anything if we had listened to him this wouldn't have happened
Cassie: can I stop by to check on him, too?
Wonder Woman: though we've much to discuss, the loyalty and friendship you feel for your companions is admirable. You will be allowed to support each other, of course. I know how it feels to worry for a friend.
Kon: And I'll-
Superman: no. You're grounded
Kon: what?
Superman, crossing his arms: I'm not falling for it. I know.
Kon, looking helplessly at the other heroes: but... he's my best friend
Wonder Woman and Flash both scowling at Superman like they're ready to physically fight him:
Superman: you gotta be kidding- the answer is no!
Superman:
Superman: stop looking at me like-
Superman:
Superman: fine! Fine, yes, you can go!
*Bart, Kon, and Cassie silently cheer*
Superman, under his breath: how do they get away with it every time
I think Tim Drake is so powerful in my mind because almost everyone else had greatness thrust upon them while he actively sought it out when he really didn't have to. There are demigods, clones, aliens, metahumans, people who never asked for power, often people who never wanted powers at all, or superheroes forged by horrific trauma that lead them down an inevitable path.
Tim literally could've minded his own business and went on his way. He had no real connection to that world. Hell, even Steph was drawn in bc her dad was a villain. You could even argue Barbara had a connection through her cop dad. But Tim's parents were normal and totally removed from all that shit. His life was normal. He was privileged! And he knew that! He could have happily continued on his way per usual.
The only reason he became a hero was because he was a kind-hearted, idealistic kid, with an admittedly parasocial relationship with Robin.
And he knew (though not nearly to its full extent) that stepping into the world of heroes and villains meant a difficult road. It meant trauma that he otherwise would never have to experience. Hard work. Pain.
And, sure, it's cool and fun to be a part of that world at times. But that was never a dream of his. It's a selfless act that would have been much easier not to do. He did it for Batman, for Gotham, not for himself. He did it because he felt it was the right thing to do. His character is a moral compass for the batfamily. And that's who he is at his core.
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