So I made a few…dozen…posts on twitter about my experiences being neurodivergent. They’re a roughly 60/40 split between being autistic and having adhd with heavy overlap. They take the form of a parent in denial saying “My child is neurotypical” and the response of “Your child is X” where X is a common neurodivergent experience phrased as if coming from a teacher.
(I’ll be updating these as I make more)
Your child was a pleasure to have in class
Your child can’t focus unless they’re playing with something
Your child has awful handwriting
Your child is tapping their foot through class
Your child just needs to apply themselves. They can clearly do the work but keep making silly mistakes
Your child had a breakdown over not getting all their homework done
Your child is quiet and struggling to stay on task
Your child thinks school was indistinguishable from torture but struggles without the structure
Your child needs outside structure or they can’t figure out what to do first
Your child hears the CRT TV noise (double this if they hate it)
Your child needs to cover their ears any time you use a blender
Your child wants to know where that buzzing is coming from
Your child can tell if the fridge has been opened recently from the other room
Your child can’t wear rough or slippery fabrics
Your child hates any texture beyond flannel (any other distinctive texture works too)
Your child hates tags on clothing
Your child overheats in thick socks
Your child wears sportswear but hates sports (@checkerfired1 on twitter)
Your child thinks water has a strange texture
Your child finds showering exhausting but also doesn’t want to get out at the end
Your child can’t stand the feeling of oil on their skin
Your child sat in the dark from noon til sunset before starting their day
Your child thinks sunlight is ‘too much’
Your child forgot they were hungry halfway through making dinner
Your child has had midnight new years pass by because they forgot to wait for it
Your child can’t keep a grasp on time
Your child is confused about how it’s already evening
Your child has over 50 tabs open in chrome
Your child can only ‘wing it’ because they always forget what they planned to say
Your child made a list of what they needed to do and forgot to check it
Your child came up with a ‘my child is neurotypical’ post but forgot
Your child can’t focus without background music
Your child thinks everybody is exhausted after conversations
Your child drinking caffeine is like a roulette wheel in its effects
Your child struggles thinking while seated
Your child likes to constantly be chewing on something
Your child finds crowds overwhelming
Your child finds existing at night less exhausting
Your child is reading this in the middle of the night
All of your child’s friends live on the opposite side of the world because they can’t maintain a traditional sleep schedule
Your child had midnight new years pass by because they’re normally awake well past then even as an adult
Your child has trouble quieting their brain to sleep
Your child is extremely klutzy
Your child’s phone typing is riddled with typos
Your child felt guilty for bumping into the table
Your child is painfully uncomfortable watching shows with awkward situations
Your child cries even thinking about somebody being in pain
Your child is extremely trusting with new people they just met
Your child has lots of mood swings
Your child hates compliments because they’re sure they’ll disappoint and alienate anyone who thinks anything good about them (from @MaebyIsSweet on twitter)
Your child shares extremely personal experiences with people they just met
Your child can talk for hours about the same subject without getting tired
Your child learned nonverbal communication from the family dog/cat
Your child gets frustrated because people can’t understand them
Your child has been discussing the same topic for 30 minutes without taking a break to breath
Your child tends to speak repetitively - they may feel somewhat scripted
Your child feels like an alien sent to observe humans
Your child cries when instructions aren’t clear enough
Your child communes with animals because they make more sense than people
Your child doesn’t see the point of small talk
Your child finds comfort in the scriptedness of small talk
Your child is anxious about misreading people’s intentions
Your child is anxious about contacting somebody because they think it’s too last second
Your child gets frustrated when instruction manuals skip steps
Your child is constantly anxious about misunderstanding
Your child needs subtitles to hear anything
Your child has times they struggle to make words
Your child asks for the same meal every time they come home
Your child watched a single movie more than 3 times in one day
Your child feels anxious watching new movies or tv shows
Your child nearly has a stress breakdown if plans change last second
Your child’s anxiety spikes every time you ask them a question
Your child has a favourite song they’ve listened to for a week straight
Your child finds split second decision making stressful
Your child gets anxious if they don’t exactly follow their daily routine
Your child can pick up accents easily
Your child grew up wishing they could just go live in the forest away from people
Your child gets anxious when you ask aabout their day
Your child emotionally relates to fictional characters more than real people
Your child has said ‘I just don’t have the energy to act human right now’
Your child has described people as ‘just too much’
Your child was so ashamed of being different they tried to reshape their personality so people would like them
Misc ones I haven’t really sorted yet
Your child is protective and doesn’t like anybody new coming into their room
Your child wishes it was easier to get up and do what they need to
Your child is confused by how other people relate to their gender
Your child thinks their functioning is an inconvenience to people
Your child is either ‘on’ or ‘off’ and there is no in between
Your child gets stuck in excitement feedback loops with their friends
Your child is convinced they just aren’t working hard enough
Your child is on their third hobby this week
Your child spaces out randomly during the day
Your child considers every step of getting dressed an individual task they have to do (from @sisi7304 on twitter)
Your child differentiates between food they like and food they think is good (@sweetmoonpigeon on twitter)
Your child has severe imposter syndrome about whether they’re neurodivergent ‘enough’
Your child isn’t sure what they’re supposed to do to be a man or a woman
Your child’s fingers and toes change colour in the cold
