dirt enthusiast
blake kathryn
AnasAbdin
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
taylor price
No title available
tannertan36
almost home
Peter Solarz
will byers stan first human second
i don't do bad sauce passes
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
tumblr dot com
h
🪼
DEAR READER
Cosmic Funnies
One Nice Bug Per Day
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
No title available
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
seen from Switzerland
seen from Russia
seen from South Africa
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Thailand
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from Germany
seen from Poland
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
@dcmainlybillythoughts
Howdy there and welcome to my DC themed blog!
I'm sure you can read my user to figure out my name but I use the sign off MBT on asks since this isn't my main blog. You can just call me MBT on this blog since my name is so long.
While this blog is used for DC, if you wish to see more of my stuff or learn more about me, you could find my main blog at @spiderswebcircus.
Whatever this is, I spedran this in a school day.
conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 56 (masterpost here)
Tim: investigating the sex crime rings is the worst, but you gotta admit it does open your eyes to how... wide, the range of people's specific tastes are.
Damian: ok i'm not touching that box. that's clearly a box of uncleaned sex toys; im a minor, that's all you Nightwing.
Dick: *disgusted* mmmmm..... *whining* i'm gonna get a disease,
Tim: you're literally wearing gloves; we need to take some stuff back for DNA tracking.
Dick: well that's easy for you to say, you don't have to look through the used stuff!
Tim, unsympathetic: -listen i wanted to raid this place yesterday, before the orgy. you made us wait, you can deal with the consequences.
Damian: what are you looking at Red?
Tim: come see.
*a beat*
Damian: *snort* holy fuck, how many different ones are there?
Tim: that's what i mean, like who decides to manufacture this?!
Dick: *sounding slightly ill* what are you two looking at? i don't want Robin too deeply involved in this case, guys, he's just supposed to be lookout.
Damian: Red found the lube stash. we're seeing how many different flavours there are.
Tim: i feel like if banging isn't that satisfying for you on its own, then the problem is probably something way different than the flavour. i don't think these would help.
Damian: honestly if i was sucking dick and i tasted blueberries it would probably take me out of the mood, just from pure confusion.
Dick, aghast: ROBIN. i don't wanna hear you talking about that kind of thing?!
Damian: i'm almost fifteen, Nightwing.
Tim: *abrupt laugh* ok, you turned fourteen like two months ago-,
Dick: EITHER WAY TOO YOUNG.
Damian: *snicker*
*dull clattering*
Tim: HOLD ON, EVERYBODY SHUT UP. ok i found the winner. ladies and gentlemen, bakewell tart flavoured lube.
Damian: *cackles* no way,
Dick: guys, stop messing around. we don't know when they'll come back.
Tim: my thing about flavoured lube is that, like; somebody at the factory has to check the flavour is right before they roll it out to the public, right? so do you think- *snicker* do you- somewhere out there, there is a guy whose job is literally, 'eat lube'.
Damian, holding back laughter: ah, my dream job.
Tim: *cackle*
Damian: do you think it's accurate?
Tim, pointed: ...i dunno..,
*three seconds of silence*
Dick, wary: what are you guys doing over there?
Tim: i mean... it's still sealed and unopened, nobody's touched this one.
Damian: i will give you five dollars.
Tim: five dollars is not worth eating strange foraged lube from a crate in a warehouse, Robin.
Damian: ten.
*a beat*
Tim: yeah ok.
*faint uncapping noise*
Dick: woah hey hold on- OI- PUT THAT DOWN- YOUR DAD IS A BILLIONAIRE WHATDOYOUNEEDTENDOLLARSFOR-
creepy tim drake you will always be famous
Is it okay if I use your artwork of the bill x Damian "Damian gets a poket" story as the background image for my podfic of that story?
Yeah sure, I don't really mind as long as you give proper credits for my stuff
I honestly forgot about that artwork because it's not something I'm super proud of anymore, just because it's a little old now and I've improved, but I'm glad it can still serve a purpose for somebody else :)
the sillies coloured hehe
rule: add a song for each letter of your username and tag as many people as there are letters! (thanks for the tag @bluef1ferrari-blueseas)
I - I Was Made For Lovin' You - Kiss
M - Manchild - Sabrina Carpenter
T - Holding Out For A Hero - Bonnie Tyler
R - Rät - Penelope Scott
Y - YMCA - Village People
I - I Love It - Icona Pop
N - Nasty Fog - Sir Mix-A-Lot
G - Großvater - S.T.S
S - Slipping Though My FIngers - ABBA
O - obsessed - Olivia Rodrigo
V - Video Killed The Radio Star - The Buggles
E - EInmal um die Welt - Cro
R - R U Mine? - Artic Monkey
Y - You're Gonna Go Far Kid - The Offspring
V - Von Party zu Party - SXTN
E - Everybody Walking This Land - Paul Cauthen
R - Radio Ga Ga - Queen
Y - You Give Love a Bad Name - Bon Jovi
H - Ham kummst - Seiler und Speer
A - A Little Bit Harder Now - She Wants Revenge
R - Rich Girl - Gwen Stefani
D - Dtmf - Bady Bunny
im not tagging that many people so @rqulmqck @maybemoltenlava
I'm about to regret my long ass username. Do I even know this many songs? Do I even know that many people? But thank you @dc-dorito for the tag
D - Disobedient from Steven Universe the Musical
C - Crush Culture by Conan Gray
M - Magical Doctor by Maretu
A - Affection Addiction by VolcaloKAT
I - I Hear a Symphony by Cody Fry
N - Nobody by Mitski
L - Love Like You from Steven Universe
Y - You'll be Back from Hamilton
B - Best Friend by Rex Orange County
I - I Love You Like An Alcoholic by The Taxpayers
L - Line Without a Hook by Ricky Montgomery
L - Lone Star by The Front Bottoms
Y - Your Stupid Face by Kaden McKay
T - This is Love by Air Traffic Controller
H - Honey Lavender by ieuan
O - Out of my League by Fitz and the Tantrums
U - Under our Spell from My Little Pony Equestria Girls
G - God-ish by PinocchinoP
H - Horrible Kids by Set It Off
T - The Bidding by Tally Hall
S - Scrawny by Wallows (My theme song fr)
21 letters means 21 song and 21 tags. Hot dam. If I tag you and you've already done this bc you were tagged by somebody else I apologize.
@wolfsbanesparks @cerealboxlore @und3adazrxel @doc-anders @crocro-dyle @stupid-newt @robs-your-robins @famouslysleepy @suzukiblu
I know that's only 9 but I deadass don't think I know other people. At least any other people that I'm not worried about annoying with an @.
That’s his son y’all <3
New funny scenario where nobody knows the bats are related:
Nightwing and Batman end up having a very animated argument in a public hero space, Watch Tower, Titans Tower, take your pick, which leaves onlookers very concerned. While all the animated movements and wild gestures are coming from Nightwing, Batman still seems very clearly displeased and unwilling to back down in this interaction.
Enter the wonderful boy wonder, Robin (Tim Drake), followed by his friends of your choice. I prefer to imagine Young Just-Us for Bart but pick anybody you want.
Robin is not alarmed by this argument. He can tell by looking at Nightwing and Batman that this isn't really a serious argument, it's not even about cape stuff and neither of them will care tomorrow, it's just that both of them are being petty and stubborn and want to win.
Robin doesn't care about that though, the only thing on his mind is "Man, I could use a sucker right now." So he gets a sucker. Robin walks straight up to Batman, pulls aside his cape, opens his utility belt, rummages around in it for a moment, pulls out the flavor of his choice, opens the sucker, puts it in his mouth, and shoves the wrapper into Batman's chest without a care in the world.
Batman and Nightwing don't even really acknowledge him. They're aware Robin is there because they both glanced at him as he approached and Nightwing is being careful to not hit him while gesturing but neither of them are really paying full attention to him.
He considers just walking away right then but decides to do everybody else in the room a favor and grabs 2 more suckers from Batman's utility belt and sticks one into Batman's mouth and one into Nightwing's mouth. Not a permanent solution but it stops them from talking for a little bit since they don't want to throw away the sucker Robin gave them and neither of them want to sound stupid trying to talk with it in their mouths.
Now that the immediate problem is solved, Robin walks back over to his friends to find them looking at him in bewilderment. And Robin's only response is a very confused "Did you want one?"
random gotham villian: so, what are your real names? tim (running on 3 hours of sleep from the past week): shhhh don't tell him jason villain, writing: jason... jason: great fucking job tim villian, writing: tim... duke: duke: duke jason & tim: confused and angry bat glares duke: what? i felt left out villian, writing: ...duke
And we are still going strong with our boy! I love him just so much damn it
Post inspired by Growning Pains by welcometojalytown on AO3
Dick Grayson presently de aged and getting ready for patrol: What's up everybody, I'm currently dressed in my first Robin suit and I'm about to go out on patrol and laugh from the dark before jumping criminals and giving them the horrifying experience other goons had a decade ago. Welcome to jackass.
Bruce: My son would have made a great NSA communications operative. Drop me in the middle of the Kahndaqi desert, hide me on top of Nanda Parbat, bury me in the goddamn timestream, and somehow, some way, he'd find a way to call me and ask me for a favor.
Duke Thomas and Jason Todd my beloveds
*the batboys on patrol, bored during a stakeout and arguing about who's been failed by the most parental units*
Tim: i dont think death should count as failure, so Dick only gets one.
Dick: yeah- well we all have one by default, because, y'no,
Jason: -look B isn't evil but he is an idiot and idiocy should count as failure.
Bruce: ...you guys know i'm on this line, right?
Damian: hush father, we're discussing.
Tim: so i get two, because i have the Drakes and then B. can my B count as two though? like, i had B normally and then i had B in the depths of grief; like that should count as-
Damian: no, no, absolutely fucking not Drake, you can't use that cop out-
Dick: -yeah, no, i call bullshit. Tim you have two, suck it up.
Jason: it really doesn't matter, literally none of you are going to even come close to beating me. i got the Todds, i got B, i got the Haywoods, i got Talia,
Tim, failing horrible at holding back laughter: yeah- yeah Jay, don't take this the wrong way but does anybody love you?
Jason: i- *wheeze* man fuck you Replacement-
Dick, also laughing: yeah- littlewing, at this point maybe you're the problem.
Jason: *cackles*
Tim: can we even count that as four though? surely if we're counting Jack and Janet as one because they're a couple then B and Talia should also be combined into one?
Damian: no, no, they should be separate. not only are they no longer together but they were attempting to parent completely separately. that's two.
Jason: yeah, fuck you! tryna lower my tally-
Tim: oh please, he's only agreeing with you so he has two instead of one!
Damian: i think you'll find i have way more than two, i far outrank you Drake.
Dick, giggling: sorry, sorry- you far outrank him at what, not being loved correctly?
Damian, fully seriously: i don't care how shit the competition is, Grayson. i'm fucking winning.
Tim: it's bullshit! you're literally the only one that wasn't adopted by somebody else! you have two at most Damian, stop lying.
Damian: well, no, because Todd should be one of mine.
Jason: EXCUSE ME?!
Dick: oooo~
Damian, raising his voice over the yells: LISTEN- listen. growing up in the league you were the only authorative male figure that was present in raising me before i came to Gotham. there is no way you wouldn't count on the board as a father figure.
Jason: NO, I'M NOT- i'm not fuckin' arguing that, you're my kid, end of. but how the fuck did i fail you?! i was great!
Damian: you literally passed me off to father and then disappeared for a year so you could go 'fuck shit up' with Arsenal and Starfire.
Dick: OOOO~
Jason: ...I- shut up Dick. I- *laughs* ok in my defence that was my version of a gap year-,
Damian: and it was my version of child neglect, you're going on the board.
Dick: suck it, littlewing!
Tim: *cackles*
Jason: yeah yeah- that's still only three for Damian, i'm still winning.
Damian: Grayson should also be on my board.
Dick: UM? HOLD ON-
Jason, instantly: OOOOOOOH, NOT FUCKIN' LAUGHIN' NOW, ARE WE GOLDEN BOY?
Dick: HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE HERE-
Tim, enjoying this way more than he should: no, no, Dick the kid has a point, you literally had custody of him when B was lost in the timestream, you definitely count.
Damian: i rest my case.
Dick: HOW THE FUCK DID I FAIL?
Jason: SUCKS TO SUCK DICKFACE.
Damian: you called me short that one time and it severely effected my self esteem. emotional abuse.
Jason: *cackles*
Damian: you also also passed me off to father again, so you are also complicit to his damaged attempt at parenting.
Bruce, offended: Damian-
Dick: what are you- YOU WERE TEN. YOU WERE SHORT. ALL TEN YEAR OLDS ARE SHORT.
Tim, instantly: Billy Batson.
Dick: WH- ok first of all, he's only tall part-time, and second of all THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS-
-
*Two-Face, across the street, listening to them yell through the open window of their stakeout spot*
Goon he was scheming with: ...sir, should we shoot at them or someth-?
Two-Face, holding up a finger: shh, i wanna see who wins.
Some douchebag influencer decides to challenge one of the Waynes to an MMA fight, and he goes with Tim.
Big public announcement, making a big deal of it, mockingly suggesting the Waynes can donate the proceeds to charity, so long as Tim gets in the ring with him, and people are like, Tim? Tim Drake-Wayne, smallest of Bruce Wayne's kids, so baby-faced he looks like a high-schooler even in his early twenties Tim? And there's a huge kerfuffle, people calling the influencer out for going after someone way smaller than him, being a coward by not picking Bruce Wayne or even Dick Grayson, and people egging him on to beat up Bruce's 'girliest' kid and betting Tim will back down and "Daddy Wayne will just bring out the lawyers".
And then Tim says "yeah sure". And yes he DOES set it up so that the proceeds will go to the Neon Knights program, thank you very much, and he doesn't really hype up the fight or seem that worried about it online, and the influencer is talking constant shit and posting videos of him training to get ready to "beat little Timmy's ass", and he keeps trying to goad Tim online but the most he gets in response is Tim going "k".
The day of the fight, the venue is packed, the whole Wayne clan is there to cheer Tim on, medics are on stand-by for when Tim gets badly hurt, and everyone is So Ready for This. And the influencer is a big guy who's in shape, and he's won a few fights already, and Tim looks itty bitty next to him, but also he's a lot more fit than people were expecting? Like he's got more scars than people expected (which was zero) and he's got good muscle tone, and he squares up like an actual fighter, but he's still way smaller than the other guy.
Then the bell rings and Tim wipes the fucking floor with the influencer. He's fast and ruthless, and the influencer gets maybe two hits in before Tim is in his space and climbing him, locking his legs around the guy's neck and throwing him to the ground with his momentum. The fight is fast, which people expected, but it's because Tim hammers the guy and takes him down before he knows what's happening, which people did NOT expect.
Afterwards, people are trying to break down the fight and figure out what the FUCK happened, and one retired MMA fighter admits he pretty much knew it was going to turn out like this.
"Bullshit," the other commentator goes. "Bullshit! How could you have possibly known that Bruce Wayne's kid was a fighter like that?"
"One," the guy says, grinning, "the kid's a Gotham native. Gotham natives fight tooth and nail, even the richer ones. Two, he's said before in interviews that he took self-defense classes as a kid."
"Oh bullshit, plenty of kids take karate classes growing up-"
"Yeah, but 'plenty of kids' don't have a non-meta kid sidekick running around their city. You know how Star City has some of the best youth archery classes in the country? And how that came about after Speedy came on the scene?"
"Oh my god," the other commentator mutters. "Drake's a fucking Robin fanboy, isn't he."
The retired fighter grins wider. "Is he ever. So he's been taking self-defense and martial arts classes from a young age. Then he got taken in by Bruce Wayne, who's first son was raised as a world-class acrobat before Wayne took him in, and since then he's become an Olympic gold medalist for gymnastics, and now he's Tim's big brother.
"And the piece de resistance," the fighter says gleefully, "head of Wayne Enterprises R&D and close personal friend of Bruce Wayne is Lucius Fox, who's daughter briefly dated Tim and who's oldest son is Luke motherfuckin' Fox, one of the best MMA fighters I've ever seen."
"Oh my god," the other man repeats.
"So on top of learning martial arts for years, that's two people directly in Tim's circle who are top-tier athletes, who I'm damn sure wouldn't have let him in that ring without knowing how to handle his shit."
"...So Brad's lucky he made it out of that ring with all his bones intact."
"Damn lucky, even."
