my silly little cesspool

she/they, you can call me nat 18+ doing bisexual wizard shit - pfp is from @nipuni

[systlin]

My asshole son (Muffin the cat) has been on a diet, on account of him being overweight. I've been losing my fuck damned mind because he is not losing weight, even when sticking to the vet reccomended diet.

Found out that the dickhead (affectionate) has figured out that the food is in the utility room cupboard. He has figured out how to hook his claws into the door, pry it open, and get into the fucking cupboard at night, where he then shoves his head in the bag and eats as much as he wants.

He then exits and closes the fucking cupboard like the genius little goddamn prick he is.

[systlin]

Update; my fluffy 25 pound dickhead of a Maine coon mix Disapproves Strongly of the child locks on the food door. Loudly. Is now attempting to figure out how to work a child lock with his enormous crime paws.

[dogpuppy]

[teaboot]

My faceblindness is JUST enough that I'm not certain if this is Hugh Laurie or just a scruffy white guy with blue eyes but he's DEFINITELY doing the Hugh Laurie mouth thing so I'm about 70% certain it is

[rclipseatron]

No that's definitely Hugh Laurie.

[teaboot]

Oh thank god.

In that case, "You have to pay for liquor, but water's on the House"

[greelin]

1bedroom/1bath’s being $1800+…… we have to start lighting landlords on fire. i’m so serious

[isuggesteatingtherich]

i have a suggestion

[arson-heritage-posts]

I'm also supportive of the initial proposal

[isuggesteatingtherich]

[isawken]

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

[bluelois]

Blue Lois

[isawken]

can i help you

[redmarge]

Red Marge

[isawken]

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[isawken]

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

[vamptits]

they want you to make fried rice

[memser]

who is "they"

[vamptits]

the wok left

[solongandthanksforallthefish42]

how am I supposed to make fried rice if the wok left

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[slothful-rabbit]

I laughed so fucking hard at this

[paint-lady]

[gael-garcia]

An Oppressed People Is Always Right (1974) by Nils Vest. Made in collaboration with the Palestine Cinema Institute (watch)

[charlesoberonn]

Female Dwarves - With or without beards?

With beards

Without beard

Voting ended onJun 9

[charlesoberonn]

Child Dwarves - With or without beards?

With beards

Without beards

Voting ended onJun 9

[charlesoberonn]

Baby Dwarves - With or without beards?

With beards

Without beards

Voting ended onJun 9

[charlesoberonn]

They shed their baby beards to make room for their adult beards. Like with baby teeth.

[pangur-and-grim]

Queer Books and Authors are at a Breaking Point

Authors, agents, publishers: every part of the industry is seeing the strain of five years of escalating anti-LGBTQ censorship.

[pangur-and-grim]

if you'd like to show support, here are some upcoming queer books:

When Life Gives You Corpses is a brilliant YA about a cursed praying mantis who falls for a young witch. Yield Under Great Persuasion is a raunchy, but surprisingly sweet story about two men repairing their relationship. Fabulous Bodies is a horror story about a queer rockstar rising from the dead.

This is Where the Future Bleeds is a fantasy set in a vividly imagined land, where two women (who happen to kiss) are the key to healing the broken sky. You're No Better is a story about a teen struggling in the shadow of his murderous parent. Oil on Canvas is about a woman who finds disturbing paintings in the home of her dead mother.

and then here's a list of 26 queer books by Black authors set to publish this year, and a 10 upcoming books by trans authors. if you want to fight back against queer censorship, use your wallet! or (if that's not an option) you can contact your local library and ask them to stock a copy.

[starofhisheart]

Happy pride to those 5 seconds where Charlie Swan thought Jacob was coming out to him in the most insane way possible

[squeakitties]

[pepsimansthickjuicymeatyschlong]

new type of guy just dropped

[powerburial]

this is standard issue uncle

[fremulon]

call me a patron of the ass library the way I'm checking out that butt

[demon-goblin-thing]

I just ate a red white and blue, bomb pop flavored oreo. This might be the most white people shit I've ever taken part in

[10001gecs]

I need to suck you off until you’re groaning like a beached whale 🫣

ok you can give me a blowjob but take the time to think of a more sexy simile please

[10001gecs]

😭

[manuciruja]

awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?

[natalieironside]

A magical girl anime about 3 classmates who are granted the legendary powers and personas of Negative Nancy, Nervous Nellie, and Debbie Downer

[cipheramnesia]

Debbie Downer is famously responsible for imploding the Titan sub

[cipheramnesia]

Nervous Nellie goes into her magical girl transformation sequence and when it ends she's just a horse.

[orteil42]

given the current climate this pride especially i feel i must mention that i love my trans friends, i stand with trans people in the fight against transphobic legislation and those who would enforce it, and this blog is not a good place for you to be if you do not vibe with that