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[disabled-primadonna]

Hi! I'm Heishi (he/fae). I'm the host of a system, so other headmates might post here too. I'm a Deaf Siberian (link).

This is a sideblog for my disability-related posts.

My disabilities:

Accommodative Excess

Accommodative Infacility

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (combined type)

Autism Spectrum Disorder (medium support needs)

Complex Widespread Pain Syndrome

Deafness (unilateral)

Exophoria

Hyperopia (very minor, likely to recover as we age)

Misophonia

Other Specified Dissociative Disorder 1

Scoliosis (minor)

Social Anxiety Disorder

I have OCD and NPD traits, and paranoid delusions sometimes due to anxiety. I have tics and a chronically dry throat (to the point of it causing chronic pain) but I don't know what causes either of them. Also, it's possible that I have diabetes.

'Deaf 101' is my series on the basics of Deaf culture and the Deaf community. Here's the masterpost (link).

Here's the link to my masterpost of disability media recommendations.

Paraphiles are welcome here (link).

I'd be happy to sensitivity read, for representation of Deafness or any of the disabilities I have, for free (please note that I may choose not to sensitivity read works that include sex, body horror, and similar things).

Main blog: @primadonna-sys

Warning: blinkie under the cut! [ID for the gif: it has the disability pride flag in the background that says 'DEAF' in black text with a white outline. The colours of the disability flag are moving clockwise around the blinkie. End ID]

[panel2princess]

little miss echolalia would like to repeat what u just said

[flurgehbla]

little miss auditory processing disorder would like you to repeat what you just said

[disabled-primadonna]

little miss d/Deaf would also like you to repeat what you just said

[disabled-primadonna]

Recently learnt that we may have diabetes so we have to get a blood test. Normally we're fine with blood tests, but we have to fast for this one! 😭

[thefrogsarequeerandsoami]

still figuring out how to handle this situation

My little sister, like all curious kids, will ask about somebody with a physical visible disability if we pass them in public. I never quite know how to answer? I know that you're not supposed to make a big deal out of it because it can imply that people with visible disabilities are "wrong." Do I encourage her to ask the person with the disability instead of asking me, do I encourage her to ask not in front of them, etc etc etc? I want to encourage her curiosity and solidify that people with disabilities are normal people, but I also know hearing, "what's wrong with them?" is not the best feeling.

if you have advice feel free to share!

[disabled-primadonna]

Do not get her to ask the disabled person. That forces a random disabled person to educate a complete stranger on a very personal topic. It is completely inappropriate.

Do not assume anything about the person's disability. For example, if someone has a scar, do not assume how they got it.

If she says "what's wrong with them", clearly state that there is nothing wrong with them, their body just works differently. Always correct her if she uses disrespectful language.

Yes, you should discourage her from asking in front of someone, but make sure you explain why: disability in of itself is not shameful, but some people feel embarrassed or uncomfortable about their disabilities. Plus, it's just rude to comment on someone's appearance in public unless you're complimenting them, regardless of if they're disabled or not.

Your explanation of a disability should include its main symptoms* and possible causes. It doesn't need anything else, unless she asks further questions. Also: do not hesitate to say you don't know. Please, do not just make up something on the spot or assume or guess, just say you don't know. There's already so much misinformation around disabilities, do not spread any more.

*at an age appropriate level (depending on how young she is, maybe avoid mentioning death or other upsetting topics).

[disabled-primadonna]

Coining a new term!

'Deaf Noise':

The non-language sounds that Deaf people make when signing and communicating with one another. Examples:

Mumbling/muttering the spoken language equivalent to what one is signing while signing (e.g. saying "Mah nam E-ie" while signing "MY NAME ELLIE" in Auslan)

Grunting/trilling/etc to emphasise one's signing

Grunting or shouting (not words) to grab each other's attention

Stomping as an equivalent to/form of applause (especially for DeafBlind individuals)

Basically, any intentional sound or noise Deaf people make that would be uncommon or socially unacceptable in Hearing society.

[mindflamer]

honest to god we've got to start naming the elderly as a vulnerable group & calling their disabilities, disabilities. we sugarcoat and distance these things by only calling them "elderly," "old & frail," etc. most of them are disabled.

too many people completely separate disability from themselves in their mind. it's something that happens to other people. other sad people i don't want to think about. are they really even people, it's too much to bear thinking about that happening to a person... those background characters over there. it would never be me, i can't cope with thinking about that possibility.

this mass denialism of the fragility of the human body (YOUR human body) has created a whole category separate from the disabled - the "elderly." since anyone can join it if they live long enough.. no they can't be disabled. that's scary, and worse it's political. so they are just "old." so what they lost their hearing, their mobility, their heart function? that's just how it goes for old people. as if that's not a person as real as you. as if you wouldn't be devastated if that happened to you today (and it can btw). as if you won't be when it's your turn to be old, and disabled.

simultaneously the disabled are dehumanized as not people, and the elderly are dehumanized as not disabled. so the illusion of disability as separate can be upheld.

[artsekey]

Listen to me. I. Will die. On this hill.

My grandparents lived to 98 and 103. Read that again— 98 and 103. My grandmother died 5 months ago and was born in 1923.

She was extremely wealthy. My grandfather left her millions. She paid about 13,000 a month for her care.

And her nurses abused her. She could do nothing. She could not speak for herself, feed herself, clothe herself, and the humiliation they made her endure was disgusting. When she tried to express discomfort, they gave her drugs to “keep her calm” (keep their shift easy). We fought like HELL to hold that fucking place accountable. The only reason we were aware is because we hired a private nurse on her behalf, too.

The elderly are a massive, extremely vulnerable, and disabled group. You cannot leave them out of your advocacy, you cannot leave them out of the conversation. “They’re loud, they smell, they’re opinionated, they’re rude, they make me uncomfortable”. I don’t care. I don’t care! They need your advocacy too! I want you to think, if my grandmother— who was in the best retirement home she could afford, with a personally hired third-party nurse to step in where the other carers failed, had such abhorrent care… what about everyone else? What about all the elderly who don’t have a support system?

Don’t leave them out.

[disabled-primadonna]

In Australia, the government very recently undid a decision they made to reduce funding for elderly care and it took so much advocacy to convince them. Y'know what elderly people had to endure because of the reduced funding? Many people couldn't afford to shower every day. People had to pick which days they could afford basic hygiene. Australia is a first-world country, and many elderly people were denied access to SHOWERING DAILY. Most elderly people are disabled and they NEED our support because the government is far too keen to ignore them.

[scumbyug]

People of colour don't have to smile through racism and gently correct you

Trans people don't have to smile through transphobia and gently correct you

Nonbinary people don't have to smile through exorsexism and gently correct you

Intersex people don't have to smile through intersexism and gently correct you

People don't have to smile through their oppression and correct you with gentle voice and simple words. A black woman getting angry and loud at anti-black racism is not less deserving of your attention. A trans man being rude to someone spreading transphobia is not less deserving of your attention.

Be loud. Be angry. Be obnoxious. You don't owe anyone pretty smiles or kind words or the benefit of the doubt.

[writing2changetheworld]

Disabled folks don't have to smile through ableism and gently correct you

[disabled-primadonna]

Deaf folks don't have to smile through audism and gently correct you

[luxiomahariel]

[dhddmods]

-Mockery of appearances associated with deformities or disfigurements

-Mockery of speech patterns or behavioral patterns

-Mockery of "useless" products (aka products that help disabled people)

-Mockery of people with "childish" interests

-Making fun of brain damage

-Making fun of small brains

-Making fun of or demonizing plurality

-Stigmatizing cluster B, schizospec, or paraphilic disorders. Misusing the terminology. Throwing around words like narcissist, psychotic, psychopath, sociopath, pedophile, zoophile, necrophile, etc

-Misuse of the words empathy/sympathy

-Constantly joking about psychwards

-Constantly joking about lobotomies

I could go on and on...

[thisisparamisia]

Its child predator, not pedophile.

It's beastiality, not zoophilia.

Its corpse desecration, not necrophile.

"You're being pedantic!" People tell me, even those within mental health movements themselves.

So is it pedantic when people point out that narcissistic is not the same as "egotistical/self-absorbed/emotionally abusive"?

Is it pedantic when people point out that psycho, psychopath, and sociopath aren't the same thing as "criminal/abuser"?

Is it pedantic when people point out that schizophrenic, psychosis, and delusional aren't the same as "quirky/lying to oneself"?

Is it pedantic when people point out that ADHD and autism are not the same as "being quirky"?

Is it pedantic when people point out that low/no empathy/sympathy is not the same thing as "being cruel"?

Is it pedantic? Or are you just unwilling to admit that paraphilic disorders are stigmatized, and that thousands of non-offending paraphiles get demonized by your statements?

Is it pedantic? Or are you just unwilling to recognize that most predators do not have para disorders [link], and that even those who do are predatory because they're bad people, not because of their condition?

When will ya'll admit that you're unwilling to give up the concept of an "evil disorder"?

[PT: Is it pedantic? Or are you just unwilling to admit that paraphilic disorders are stigmatized, and that thousands of non-offending paraphiles get demonized by your statements?

Is it pedantic? Or are you just unwilling to recognize that most predators do not have para disorders [link], and that even those who do are predatory because they're bad people, not because of their condition?

When will ya'll admit that you're unwilling to give up the concept of an "evil disorder"?]

[this-is-anti-masculinity]

This is your reminder to not demonize para disorders on this account, and that you will only be warned ONCE before being blocked.

[disabled-primadonna]

Flagpole Sitta Disabled

[ID: 2 Flagpole Sitta Disabled flags. Both flags have 4 stripes; a brown one at the top, and a black one at the bottom. The first flag's second stripe is a medium-dark green, then the third stripe is a dark brown-green. The second flag's second stripe is lime green, then the third stripe is dark forest green. End ID]

A term for disabled people who identify with the song Flagpole Sitta by Harvey Danger. Intended for disabled people whose experience of disability/disabilities are aligned with the lyrics of Flagpole Sitta.

[disabled-primadonna]

I hope every disabled person who has been murdered by a caregiver rests in peace. I hope they all know they are loved and remembered. We will not forget. We will not forget and we will not stop fighting until every disabled person can live happily and peacefully.

I hope every disabled person, living or dead, knows they are loved. I love you. I understand you. The world is changing, progress is being made, and one day, we will no longer have to live in fear. One day, we will not need a disability day of mourning.

I love you. We will survive. Keep going.

[deaf-and-disabled-vents]

This is a blog for Deaf and disabled people to vent about:

Being Deaf

Being disabled

Audism

Ableism

Intersectional discrimination including ableism and/or audism

This blog is run by Heishi from @primadonna-sys, a DeafDisabled host of a system.

General rules for interacting with this blog:

Be kind and respectful towards your fellow disabled and Deaf people. This is a safe space for all of us.

If you are Hearing and abled, do not comment or add anything when reblogging, including in the tags. This space is not for you, do not treat it as such.

Do not ask me for information unless it is about how to deal with discrimination or how to use this blog. This is a vent blog, not an educational one.

Discrimination is not allowed. You may talk about internalised bigotry, but other than that I will not accept bigoted behaviour or language. This includes (but is not limited to): racism, transphobia, ageism, homophobia, sexism, and intersexism.

Rules for submitting posts and sending asks:

When adding a link, state that it is a link so that screenreader users know. Example: read this (link).

If necessary and possible, tag trigger warnings using the format stated at the bottom of this post. If it is not possible for you to do that, it's okay, I will.

You do not have to be polite when venting, you may be mad and rude.

I will tag trigger warnings using the following format: #tw trigger. Example: if I am tagging a warning for cats, I will tag the post like this #tw cat or #tw cats.

If you require a trigger warning for something specific, that wouldn't be triggering for most people, please let me know and I will tag it.

[disabled-primadonna]

Using my evil narcissist powers to manipulate you into being my friend by being nice to you and saying I like you. /silly, joking

[disabled-primadonna]

Listen, I don't know how to tell you this, but disabled people don't actually need to be polite when educating you for something you should already know.

I'm not being an asshole when I tell you that obviously we don't use American Sign Language in Australia. (/directed)

I'm not being an asshole when I tell you not to push me when I'm in my wheelchair without asking.

I'm not being an asshole when I tell you you're being ableist.

Disabled people don't owe you shit. I'm not going to be respectful to you when you're not respectful to me or other disabled people.

[disabled-primadonna]

#Maybe we should have the same ‘tone policing is bad!’ energy we have for everyone else for disabled people as well

#idk why disabled ppl are expected to be 24/7 nice abt everything when everyone else doesn’t have to be

(From pavo-oceiius)

Absolutely!

[disabled-primadonna]

Just discovered Deaffest. Holy shit this is the coolest thing ever. Totally check it out if you're d/Deaf.

[disabled-primadonna]

Having ADHD is wild 'cause what do you mean I just finished But I'm a Cheerleader and I immediately search up 'what are the two countries you can advertise medicine in'?

[disabled-primadonna]

Bro I want a deaf dog so bad. I wanna give them a sign-name and teach them to respond to their name and watch them get excited when I sign 'park'. I wanna teach them 'treat' and 'good boy' and I just. I just wanna communicate to a pet in the easiest, most natural language for me like hearing people can.