arson is a family tradition @djdunda - Tumblr Blog

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datasoong47

princessdonut

wild that reddit is monopolizing on our fandom content. i propose 3” inseams

princessdonut

very good point 👆 the text supports 2” inseams everyone

lettuce-king

Absolutely devastated realizing that Donut and Mongo are quite literally just a reference to those shitty early 2000s memes of a cat riding a dinosaur

douche-canoe-regatta

with glasses even...

itsclydebitches

DCC Carl is the Guy™ of all time. 6'3 ex-coastguard trained in hand-to-hand combat. Was 100% gonna fight Bea's rich lawyer dad for custody of her cat, Princess Donut. Religiously hits the gym 2-3 times a week. Is completely at ease saving the world in heart boxers and, when necessary, completely naked. Also embraces his luscious long hair. Has the uncanny ability to combine, bend, and break game rules to suit his needs. Despite his intelligence, still regularly falls back on "bomb the shit out of it" as a solution. Curses like a sailor. Says "I love you" with no hesitation. Has surrounded himself with competent, scary-ass women and when they go, "Carl you fucked up" his response is, "Yeah, I did. I'm sorry." Ultra daddy issues. Works hard to never become his father. The two times he prioritized ~sexy lady~ over survival he was literally charmed. A friend to everyone who has his and Donut's back, be they human, alien, sluggalo, goat, or sentient sex doll head.

Did murder a bunch of goblin babies though. And allegedly jerked off a crab.

Ah well. No guy's perfect!

alyssathestormwitch

shidaresakura

Using this when I need to explain the tone of Dungeon Crawler Carl

ohbo-ohno

bringing this to tumblr because a realer thing has literally never been said

important-cat-pics

effbombmom

hero cat fights the power

beardedmrbean

Next up someone is going to claim that the Narnia series isn't kids books.

Kids books is probably not the best way to word it, you can enjoy them at every age, including your childhood, as you get older you may find new truths in them, but they're still good for any age.

cookingwithroxy

I want you to understand this. I NEED you to understand this. My mother read me the hobbit as bedtime story, and I started pushing myself to read before pre-school so I could in fact read the hobbit for myself instead of having to wait for bedtime.

I didn't do so right away but jesus wept I PUSHED myself to learn to read SPECIFICALLY so I could read The Hobbit! It is, in fact, a children's story! And children only see page count as 'there is a lot of this fun story to read!'

unfortunatelymerlin

bbc merlin has a lot of faults but i do think the way they blithely ignored the existence of christianity was very funny of them

literally-irreverent

"#'old religion' they said. and then simply said nothing of a new religion" yeah Uther Pendragon, noted athiest. Entirely agnostic court. It's crazy that there's no belief system backing anything up. Like, we're going to get by on vague prophecies but also prophecies are magic which is evil. Divine right of kings but no divinity. Mirrors and mirrors but no windows.

violentfille

tags by @thanatologist

eraserheadadult

when i was a kid i had moments of being so fucking diabolical because i realized at some point the best way to leverage power over my family was to do shit that would make everybody late

eraserheadadult

our house was in the middle of nowhere surrounded by woods so when i decided i didnt want to wear dresses anymore if we were going to some event & my parents insisted i had to wear a dress i would just go hide in the woods. was so committed i almost made us miss a flight once bc my mom packed a dress in my suitcase

i only promised to stop doing this if my parents got me formal boys clothes to wear which eventually they did. i don't feel bad about resorting to violence bc i asked politely and they said no. proud of 10 yr old me for evil annoying lesbian behavior

the-prophesied-disco-gay

5th grade was the last time I wore a dress for school pictures. When my parents attempted to force the issue for 6th grade, I climbed onto our roof and pulled the ladder up after me. My dad borrowed the neighbors ladder. As soon as it touched the roof I pulled it up too. By the time I had 3 ladders they were willing to negotiate, and 2 hours late for work.

max1461

ostensible-adult

[Image ID: a tumblr tag reading "problems that can be avoided if you simply treat your child as a human being with the right to make decisions on what they wear". End ID]

pronouncingitwang

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

yokowan

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

le-jardin-inculte

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

shithowdy

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

whitachi

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

araceil

At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.