DobbyKroket

[psumnt-studentcouncil]

Okay absolutely random ramble but agalkdgj

Basically, I was a SecUnit for a day LMAO

Ok that's generous, but let me explain. One of my friends decided to play Minecraft, he doesn't play Minecraft, he was struggling for a while LOL. I do play Minecraft. I had a 5yr long hardcore world, I know a thing or two. So what did my TMBD brained self decide to do?

"Hey I can be your body guard if I you need help"

I gave myself the task: keep him alive at all costs, make sure no mobs hurt him, make sure he's fed, protect this guy he doesn't know what he's doing. So, there I was, self assigned SecUnit for my friend.

Why am I bringing this here? Because

Oh my god.

I think SecUnits deserve at LEAST one (1) compensatory murderous rampage per contract. I understand Murderbot now. WHY ARE HUMANS SO GODDAMN DIFFICUT.

Please eat no the zombie's right there don't go to it there's a creeper there go away why are you not eating EAT. I made you armor PUT ON YOUR ARMOR. check your inventory again I gave you more armor and food- WHY ARE YOU DROWNING, GET IN THE DOOR, STOP DROWNING. I have three arrows on my knee, head and arm respectively, please get away from the ledge you don't know parkour.

And this human, this human in particular is smart okay? This human has a masters degree. I also, well, like him (not in a weird way), but OH MY GOODNESS GOD.

and on top of that, normal SecUnits have to do this while regularly getting their brains zapped off??? be so for real

I get it now, I get it now, Murderbot.

Honestly, if anything, Murderbot is GENEROUS with its humans. I'd be so done oh god I'd be so done.

Doesn't matter that all of Murderbot's humans have PhDs, HUMANS SHOULD NOT BE DOING SECURITY

[deadbeatmaker]

she sounds so cool I hope she leaves him and has a great life with someone who appreciates her

[otterjpg]

queen shit

[deadbeatmaker]

I am pleased to know they broke up tonight

[datasoong47]

[iconuk01]

I'm very proud of my countrymen for introducing America to the world of the proper football chant.

None of this cheerleader stuff for soccer, oh no sireee, I mean, no disrespect to cheerleaders who put a LOT of work and effort into their performances, but somehow "Rah-Rah! We're the best" from peppily gymnastic young things can't quite match the sheer power of entire stadiums of grown up fans yelling at the top of their lungs things like....

It's unclear if this one originated with the English of Scottish games (spelling of "old" as "auld" notwithstanding), but either way, well done.

And it's striking home too! :D

Sportsball holds no interest for me, but that doesn't mean I can't respect the participation aspects sometimes.

[shower-thoughts-last-responder]

My personal favourite football chant is "let's pretend, let's pretend, let's pretend we've scored a goal" *cheers at nothing"

[crtter]

”How come you’ve never seen the Amazon rainforest if you’re from Brazil?” big country

[crtter]

Here, this should make it clearer:

[crtter]

Wait, hold on, I can illustrate it in a funnier way

[crtter]

There’s around one and a half Frances between me and the Amazon rainforest.

[crtter]

I had no idea “coach” could also mean “bus” until like, a second ago and I stared at your reply in disbelief for a good minute because I thought you were telling me to do the trip in a horse-drawn carriage. I was like “Coach?! Like Cinderella?! Where would I even get- that HAS to be slower than a car!”

[nealashitposts]

I cant go to my local libary anymore because last year when I stopped by a librarian was reading a book I wrote under a pen name years ago. This book sold under 10k copies and I've literally only heard people talk about this book online *if* I went looking for it so I went up to them and tried to start a conversation like "oh hey I've heard of that book is it good?" Like hoping for some real feedback and she goes "yeah I love reading things by queer writers" and in a moment of terror I was like "oh but- hold on, I thought the author was some old hetero white guy?!" A thing I thought because I used my own dead grandpa's picture for the author pic because grandpa never had internet. I fake looked it up and was like "yeah if he was queer its not public?" And without looking up this absolute unit goes "oh the author bio is obviously fake. I'd bet my left leg the author is a west coast millennial non-binary queer who has never lived on the east coast." And then proceeded to rattle off a dozen linguistic flourishes that are specfic to the pacific northwest that are in the book and several that are nearly ubiquitous in the state where I said my pen name lives that are somehow completely absent from the book.

So you know. Got read for fifth and didn't even find out if she liked it.

[parakeet]

Today I saw a leaf that looked like a frog and I was like haha nice and then it hopped because it WAS a frog and I started crying bc life is really full of everyday miracles including but not limited to experiencing frogs

[deathwarlock]

you got camouflaged dude. If you were frog prey...... hoooo boy

[mallowmaenad]

[penandinkprincess]

when you're the crazy lady in a tinfoil hat at work because you have a reputation for not using ai and then you get to watch when the heavily-ai-built tool everyone was encouraged to put very important work on breaks and now they don't really know how to fix it or when it'll be operational again because they don't fully know how it was put together in the first place

[penandinkprincess]

a BIG problem has been found in another ai-built tool that's now going to have to be pulled and fixed as well

[carlyraejepsans]

she sent him to die among the stars. she made sure the ship's system knew exactly how he liked his coffee.

[carlyraejepsans]

good idea👍 I'm gonna sexualise her instead

[eulers-babe]

for no reason whatsoever here’s a reminder that if you consider yourself a leftist/punk/abolitionist/anarchist/radical in any sort of way and get called into jury duty, you are to become the most square person on earth during the jury questionnaire!!!

don’t be that guy who says fuck the police in the jury questionnaire! that just gets you sent home! if you want to generate change, interact with the case and use your jury vote for good! ESPECIALLY if it’s a high profile case!

[libraryogre]

Remember, when you're on the jury, a good "that cop's story didn't add up" will sway a lot more Chads and Karens than "fuck the police."

[damnfool-of-a-took]

Had jury duty, can confirm!

An innocent man is home with his family instead of spending his kids' whole childhoods in jail for "resisting arrest" when none of the cops could agree on why he was being arrested in the first place. (But it definitely had nothing to do with him being a Black man in a nice car, honest! 🙄)

And it still took like two hours of delibration after we'd heard all the evidence because one lady was so gung ho about believing everything the cops said, even when not a single goddamn one could agree with their own testimony, let alone their colleagues'.

Pointing out all the inconsistencies and admitted misconduct and letting people slowly come to their own conclusions as the trial played out was fucking hard, I won't lie. I can be patient, but it doesn't come naturally to me.

But. Yelling about how this was obviously a bs case would have shut everyone down and made them stop listening. Asking questions and letting people discuss how the cops tried to make xyz sound suspicious but it was totally normal, or about how if things played out the way the cops said then logically events should have proceeded in a totally different direction, and positing different theories that actually lined up with the evidence presented?

That got people thinking, and everyone realized that for a variety of reasons we all had reasonable doubts that the defendent had committed any of the crimes of which he was accused.

Being able to raise reasonable doubt among a jury of one's peers saves lives. If you get the chance, take it.

[genderkoolaid]

"Jury Room / The Holdout" (1959) by Norman Rockwell. One of my favorites of his. Particularly the gendered dynamic he depicts here.

[changing-my-username]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Every summer I forget how much I fucking love spiders I’ve drunk one every day this week

[goblinwithblankets]

Drinking spiders??!

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

You put ice cream in a glass and pour soft drink over it. It creates a thick layer of delicious foam on top of a sweet, creamy drink with ice cream in it.

And yes I did attempt to get a picture by googling “Australia spider” like a fucking moron.

[thecybird-deactivated20250228]

I think that’s called a float in the states. Although we usually plop the icecream into the glass after the soda. Similar effect though.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

We wouldn’t be able to call it that because the word is way too easy to confuse with a floater, which is a meat pie floating in a bowl of pea soup. It is every bit as delicious as a spider though. I should get some pies and pea soup.

[kitstacean]

I would like to announce that this is not a standard Australian food, it’s exclusively a South Australian one and the rest of Australia is just as appalled as the rest of the world.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

It’s not our fault that the rest of Australia is incorrect about food.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#WE HAVE SPIDERS IN AOTEAROA and they serve CUNT#im gonna steal ice cream from work this weekend and make spiders with it. i will steal the fizzy from work also#i fucking hate my boss 

Living your best life I see

[blatantescapism]

“average person eats 3 spiders a year" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in South Australia and BADLY misinterpreted our survey question,,

[mariaalenkoshepard]

[northern-punk-lad]

Being prime minister of the uk has a higher regret rate than being trans

So the solution is to ban prime ministers

[northern-punk-lad]

[systlin]

Incidentally, if you are fishing any stream or river in the Mississippi river watershed and catch any fuckers that look like this;

DO NOT THROW THEM BACK FOR FUCK’S SAKE. 

That’s an Asian Carp, and they ARE invasive. The Iowa DNR encourages people to catch, kill, and eat as many as possible. 

They’re also tasty as hell, even though they’ve got lots of bones. 

[systlin]

Also, yes, this fish has weird eyes that are set real low and look downwards. 

It does not have two eyes on the same side; it just has a mark there that looks sorta like one. 

Another pic;

They mostly eat plants, but sometimes will get snagged when line fishing. But, they also do THIS;

Midwesterners being who we are, we immediately knew what to do; BOWFISH THEM SHITS

And INVENT THE SPORT KNOWN AS ‘SCARPING’, which is just netting them out of the air/smacking them with baseball bats/spearing them with pitchforks/ect while waterskiing;

[thatweirdlittlegothgirl-deactiv]

See…I’m good with a bow…but not that good. I AM however much better with a net and having the prey come to me. …Does anyone want to take me to go Scarping?

[systlin]

You can also use a shotgun

The DNR actively encourages all inventive ways of killing them off that people can come up with. There’s no limit on them, so you can fill up the boat. 

And they’re DANGED tasty. Nice mild firm white flesh. 

[cerulean-beekeeper-deactivated2]

Only in American might you go shooting fish off the back of a moving boat.

[numberlover1729]

for the environment, yeah.

[peashooter85]

These things are a menace and they desperately need to be exterminated! They are a non native species that have devastated the ecosystem of the Mississippi River and are proceeding to invade all connected tributaries. They literally eat everything and reproduce leaving entire rivers lifeless wastelands. If they enter the Great Lakes it will be an ecological nightmare. For the love of all that is good and holy start murdering them with prejudice before it is too late!!!!

[kasaron]

Hogs, and Asian Carp are KOS in America.

Good eating, and everyone, including mother nature will thank you.

[moth-doe]

They are also a huge factor in the extinction of the Axolotl in the wild

EAT EM BOYS

[spontaneousmusicalnumber]

In The Road to El Dorado there is only really one inexplicable thing within the plot. Miguel and Tulio plausibly bluff their way through or slip out of most situations. However, I’d never figured out why the volcano actually stops erupting when Tulio commands it. 

The conclusion I finally came up with is that the actual gods were watching their big entrance go down, and thought “oh, this’ll be hilarious”

[sweetvantass]

theres a lot of evidence throughout the movie to say that the armadillo (whose name is bibo) is a god.

they first find him in the jungle, where an armadillo has no business being

they find the entrance to the city, while being followed by him

he is present when the volcano starts to erupt (previous concept art also showed him in the background actually stopping the eruption)

miguel and tulio sucked ass at the ball game, so they used Bibo as a ball. He ricocheted himself all over the place and defied physics to get into the hoop every time

they come up with the flood plan to stop cortez when bibo pushed a glass over in front of them

[famouslysleepy]

YOUR TELLING ME THEY USED GOD AS A BASKETBALL?

[kittydesade]

New contender for worst children’s hospital design just dropped.

[ominous-signs]

Official ominous sign

[goblinchief]

Sent a 12 year old on a fake Hero’s Journey last week and holy shit he actually did it

[hippy-craic]

[shamebats]

The (European) sun is a deadly laser, stay safe everyone

[unfuckablebogtroll]

☝️🤓 it’s because the further you move toward the earth’s poles, the lower the angle of the sun is at the hottest parts of the day, meaning the radiation hits your whole body, causing it to feel 10-20 degrees warmer than the thermometer reading will tell you. People from tropical climes, aka close to the equator, are used to the sun’s radiation hitting a much smaller target- their head and shoulders.

Also the further you move toward the poles the more pronounced the difference between the length of day and night is. Worst part of a far-north (or south) heatwave is it doesn’t get dark long enough for meaningful cooling.

It’s not the heat. It very literally is the sun.