KIROKAZE
wallacepolsom
roma★
Jules of Nature
Peter Solarz
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
No title available
NASA
Sweet Seals For You, Always
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
we're not kids anymore.
titsay
No title available
occasionally subtle
pixel skylines
Andulka
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
tannertan36
No title available
styofa doing anything
seen from Chile
seen from Argentina
seen from Germany
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Malaysia
seen from Türkiye
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Brazil
seen from Malaysia
seen from Germany
seen from India
seen from Japan
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Iraq
seen from Türkiye
seen from Iraq
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@ebonygeist
Who IS your favourite Doctor?
I'm not really sure what a favourite is. My favourite character is the Doctor, whichever actor is playing them. MY Doctor was the second one, played by Patrick Troughton. William Hartnell was too scary and intimidating. All the others were, I understood, actors playing the Doctor. But Patrick Troughton was, for me aged 7-10, the Doctor. And still is.
my English prof teaching abt cover letters today and me trying not to bring up the luke skywalker cover letter post:
@serialreblogger here you go:
...
he got the dog to eat a pavlova
fucking son of a bitch
public service announcement that 90% of funny sourceless viral fantasy book excerpts on tumblr are from Discworld, including this one
it's been said before and i'm sure said better than i can phrase it. but really, really - if you like making "i'm going to kill myself" jokes, please try switching to being ironically conceited instead.
anytime something goes wrong, say things like "ah well at least i'm beautiful and charming and everyone loves me." when you forget something, try "my big huge brain is so smart and thinking about too many other very big wizardly thoughts you wouldn't even understand." when you're frustrated by one of your symptoms, start talking like you're in My Immortal. "Life has come for me but my eyes are beautiful pools of gorgeous fire and my hair is amazing. I stuck my middle finger up at life and told it to fuck off and it did."
just... try it for a month or two. try saying the most absurdly self-congratulatory shit you can think of.
i know it's tempting to make suicide or self-harm jokes. and for me at least, a decade ago (!) when someone suggested i stop making those kinds of jokes, i was kind of at a loss for what to replace them with. i wanted to make light of these moments, but genuinely (at the time) my first thought really was suicidal ideation. there was a part of me that even felt like ... i was kind of "making light" of that voice. that if i could say i want to die lol, it would help take the sting out of that genuine (albeit passive) desire. like i could turn my illness into a joke.
when i started complimenting myself instead, it felt awkward and stupid. it felt really, really ironic. what i was actually saying was nobody would ever think this stuff about me, that's what makes it so fucking funny.
but. the effect was immediate. first thing i noticed was the people around me. when i dropped a glass and said ah my skin is too beautiful and sleek the glass has swooned and broken for me, other people were suddenly overjoyed to jump in with the joke. rather than making an awkward moment, we'd both start cracking up. ah princess sleek hands, i've heard of you.
i was 19. i hadn't noticed i'd been making others tense when i said i want it all to end. i know now that it's incredibly hard to know how to walk that moment - do you talk to them about your concern? do you potentially make them uncomfortable by asking if they're okay? do you ignore the situation? do you help them pick up the glass, or do they need to do it by themselves? are they genuinely made suicidal over this small moment? and most importantly, how do you - without professional training or supplies - actually help?
most people want to help you pick up the glass in your life, they just have no fucking idea how to do it. they don't want to make anything worse. they don't want to make assumptions about you. they love you, they're scared for you - and being scared makes people kind of freeze up. it's not because they don't love you. it's because they do.
now when something bad happens, my first thought is how can i make a stupid joke about this. it isn't my brain saying you're a dumb fucking bitch. i spend more time laughing. i spend more time being gentle with myself. i spend more time feeling good.
and the thing is - what's kind of funny - is that you'd be surprised by how many people agree with you. the first time i said i'm too pretty to understand that, someone else said to be fair you're the prettiest person in this room. i promise - you really don't know how kindly your friends see you. but they love you for a reason. they sort of reverse-velveteen-rabbit you. your weird and ugly spots fade away and you just become... the love they want to give you.
go love yourself ironically. the worst thing that happens is that you end up tricking your reflection into actually loving you.
Apparently there's an evolutionary theory that the reason why Africa has so much wild big-ass megafauna while the big-ass megafauna on all the other continents went extinct is because they evolved right beside humans, and knew us well enough to not get hunted into extinction.
So while everything from giant koalas to giant sloths barely had the time to think "what the fuck is that" before getting pierced by a spear and getting their bone marrow gently fed to babies and the toothless elderly, Africa had elephants who had all the time in the world to learn to tell apart human languages and teach the next generations of their herd which human sounds mean that this tribe won't hurt you, but humans who make this kind of sounds are a danger. And hippos learned to conclude "I think I'll fuck up this two-legged weird shit on sight."
That’s true about African Elephants being able to distinguish between human languages, BTW.
The original study they did on this is really cool, and it showed that not only can elephants distinguish languages, they respond differently depending on the general age and gender of the person spekaing. The researchers played recordings of different people speaking either Maasai or Kamba. All the speakers were saying the same thing, "Look, look over there, a group of elephants is coming."
What they found is that when presented with voices speaking Kamba, the elephants were supremely unbothered. The Kamba are mostly farmers, many work for the park services, and they rarely present a danger to elephants.
When presented with the voices of adult men speaking Maasai, the elephants drew close to each other and started investigating. The Maasai are largely cattle herders, and they sometimes come into conflict with elephants over water and grazing lands.
However, the elephants did not seem nervous when presented with the voices of women or young boys speaking Maasai. They were aware that only humans with deep voices were a threat to them.
They also seem to recognize that if humans are talking, they aren't necessarily a threat. Humans pursuing large game like elephants are stealth hunters. If you can hear them coming, they're probably not trying to hurt you.
Anyway, elephants are amazing and one of the creatures high up on my list of "non-humans who are probably people."
Reblogging for those fabulous details.
my favorite calvin and hobbes comic is the one where his dad just rolls up and casually destroys his entire night by pointing out some neat trivia about record players
@nightcrawler-fan
#his expression in the last panel is black comic gold #the best part is that his dad was trying to be nice
are you sure. are you sure calvin’s dad is not a seasoned elder trickster. are you sure this isn’t the exact outcome he was hoping for
ok but that’s actually canon
You forgot this one
*looks pointedly at ETD*
Calvin’s dad is basically a Calvin who has learned that he can’t get away with running outside naked or throwing snowballs at neighborhood girls, but he is still precisely the same little shit under the thin veneer of civilization.
@lyricwritesprose Calvin and Hobbes has been one of my favorite things since I could read and Calvin’s dad one of my favorite characters, but that last comment blew my mind wide open. Of course that’s what he is. Of course.
one of the most subtly delightful things about calvin and hobbes is that you can SEE that calvin is his parents’ kid: his dad is so playful and imaginative, and his mom has a heck of a temper and a good sense of what’s right and wrong. calvin is a smart, passionate, imaginative kid who gets really upset when he thinks things are stupid or unfair. he drives his parents crazy sometimes because he’s a kid. but they were probably a lot like calvin themselves, when they were little.
I am pretty sure that Mom does mention at some point that Calvin’s grandma used to say “I hope you have one just like you one day”
My perfect mashed potatoes
The secret is in the water; literally, it’s IN the water.
See, when you boil potatoes, a lot of special starches and sugars and stuff leeches out into the water. When you drain the water before mashing them, you throw away a lot of good stuff, which is a big part of what makes mashed potatoes “dry” and bland, even when you add large amounts of cream and butter and things.
So don’t throw out any water.
Here’s how you do that:
First, cut your potatoes into smaller cubes than you probably do. (I’ve left the skins on for flavor and also, that’s where a lot of a potato’s nutrients are, like protien and iron and vitamins B and C, just to name a few)
The reason for cutting them smaller (besides avoiding giant peices of skin) is so that there is less space in the pot between each peice for water to fill, so you use less water to cook them. That’s important because you won’t be draining any water, so you can’t afford to have too much water! For the same reason, just barely cover them with water when they go on the stove.
But! Before you do that, put the pot on the stove with some butter, garlic, and seasonings; let the butter start to sizxle just a little then put most of a single layer of potatoes in the pan and let the brown and sear. Turn them, brown them on all sides, get ‘em fairly dark (I forgot to get a pic here because I was worried I’d burn the butter).
Ready? now throw the rest of the potatoes in right on top, and add your water, give them a stir. This way, you’re boiling in some of that lovely fried potato/french fry flavor.
Okay, so, as they cook, you may need to add a little water, not too much! ideally the very highest piece of potato will be poking just above the surface. Now, when your potatoes are really really soft, mash them directly into the water. Just pull them off the stove, leave all the water in, and start mashing. Trust me. At first you’ll think there’s too much water. If you get them mashed and they ARE a little too liquidy, just put ‘em back on the stove. You’ll have to stir often or constantly, but they will steam off additional water without losing any good stuff.
Now add some salt, and taste. Right?! And you haven’t even put in any cream or cheese or anything yet.
Speaking of which, you can use like, a third of the amount of butter or cream or anything, and they will still taste better than usual. So they taste better AND they are higher in nutrients AND lower in fats and salts! That’s a lot of win — enjoy your potatoes!
Fuck Columbus! Indigenous Rights! And happy Thanksgiving!
Me: oh yeah, if you think school photography is hard now, try imagining doing this with film.
The new girl: what's film?
Me: ... film. Like... film that goes in a film camera.
New girl: what's that mean?
Me: ... before cameras were digital.
New girl: how did you do it before digital?
Me:... with film? I haven't had enough coffee for this conversation
New girl: I need you to show me how to format the usb.
Me: format?
New girl: yeah what do I do?
Me: you... put the usb in. Then you make a new folder on it and rename it with (name, date, location)
New girl: but how do I do that?
Me: ... they dont... teach you this anymore, do they?
The lack of computer skills is becoming a problem. Like there was a period of time where the older workers in office jobs had to be brought up to speed on computers, but now a lot of the newer workers have the issue too.
There's a lot of assumed technical literacy because we had a whole generation brought up on desktop computers, but now it's one that was brought up on phones, tablets, and chromebooks. Phones are easier to use, but that means the users have never had to work around the daily problems presented by most desktop environments.
But our systems are still set up assuming the kids are "digital natives" who just already know this stuff. So no one teaches them. So a new employee walks into the office... and they just don't.
30-something here. And this is frightening for a few reasons.
Much of the back-end architecture will soon be more difficult to maintain, as those with the expertise retire or when the one guy volunteering to update a niche corner of some minute software function that holds up 1/4 of the computer world dies.
While products are made to be “easier to use” now, which has made them more accessible, they aren’t made to last, contributing to tech pollution / e-waste. Many consumers don’t know how to upgrade or repair their own tech…if they are upgradeable.
Which brings me to my next point.
I bought a new low end laptop recently. Not chrome book, but actual Windows PC laptop. I haven’t had a personal computer for a while and with a lot of expectation to “return to the office” because COVID’s over, right? *heavy eye roll*, I wanted something cheap and portable. I found a deal because a lot of low end laptops are being discounted because school children aren’t remote now. I was actually looking for refurbished but found what I wanted cheaper new, sadly.
Finding one that I knew would run the software I needed or that wouldn’t be bogged down just with Windows? A challenge. You’ve got to know what RAM, HDD vs eMMC vs SSD, cores, age of processors, and all those specs mean.
Finding one that wasn’t Windows in “S mode,” a bullshit mode that locks you into the Windows app / store for ALL software (where they take a cut of each purchase)? Even more challenging.
When I booted it up…I imagine most people just click yes through things because why not, just want to get right to it, right?
The amount of privileges I had to decline because of targeted data collection, for ad preferences and other nefarious reasons; the number of easy-to-miss “no thanks” options to decline enrollment in bloatware; the number of things that wanted me to launch the free trial, where they could automatically enroll me into a monthly PAID subscription and could report failure to add a credit card to pay for it to credit agencies (!); many of these presented as the “recommended” or default option… ASTOUNDING.
And then I still had to go into system settings and turn off additional data tracking that they didn’t even present during set-up, along with bloatware bullshit programs they wanted to always run at start-up. Because I knew where to go and find that stuff. Don’t even get me starting on fucking Cortana.
Technology has gotten bad. Even 10 years ago, it was a couple simple agreements not to pirate, using software at your own risk, etc. and that was it.
Now? Waiving rights, arbitration, hidden terms that could leave you owing money if you don’t uninstall it, data collection to link accounts and literally track every move / your exact location / your usage, attempts to personalize ads through your specific searches, inability to block cookies unless you download a Google app!?, four pop ups for every website, as the default?
It is scary how much tech that was designed to increase productivity and make life easier has become yet another way for corporations to track us, sell to us, and sell their data on us, even potentially incriminating us.
Oh, and heaven forbid you know what you’re doing and try to upgrade or repair your equipment yourself. Warranty voiding? Should be illegal, may be illegal in some areas, but they still tell you it’ll void your warranty. Good luck finding the parts. Using non-OEM parts will void the warranty too…by design.
I did not survive Windows Vista era to deal with this bullshit.
I did not survive
Windows Vista era to
deal with this bullshit.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
Anyone have any resources for technology literacy for beginners?
Yes! @aquadraco20
General basic safety
How to avoid ransomware, malware, hacks, and how to maintain good data privacy.
https://www.getsafeonline.org/
^ this has intermediate information (as well as beginner info) that I think people who grew up on the internet benefit most from (so it won't tell you what a phone is, or how to press the power button to turn on a computer). I recommend all sections the personal section under the top drop down (except the one aimed at children).
https://edu.gcfglobal.org/en/internetsafety/
Same deal as above, with quizzes and additional topics.
https://www.digitalliteracyassessment.org/
^ this one is mostly video and audio which some people might helpful
HTML
https://www.w3schools.com/html/default.asp
W3schools is a well known free resource for coding. I recommend HTML because it gives basic website building capabilities, so you can create a neocities website for example or even edit your Tumblr theme. You can also learn CSS (used with HTML to make prettier websites) and Python (used to make programs).
Touch typing
Touch typing is using the home row on keyboards. It allows people to type faster than pressing individual keys one at a time, like on a smart phone.
https://www.typingclub.com/
This site has lessons, and honestly looks much nicer than the program I learned to use touch typing with.
https://www.how-to-type.com/touch-typing-lessons/how-to-type-home-keys/
This site has lessons and practice tests and speed tests to measure progress. In middle school I was taking a practice test about three times a week and a speed test once a week for about fifteen minutes each time, if that helps.
---
These three areas are the main things people were taught in computer literacy courses.
I also recommend checking your local library or other educational resources (like local colleges, your current college/highschool/middle school etc, the college you graduated from). These can have in person instructors which can be super helpful. Feel free to send me any questions and stuff, if I don't already know I'll try to find out and share where I found it!
Helpful things I've done with my windows computer to make it safer/more efficient:
Installing Malwarebytes/enabling windows defender
Creating a backup of my computer on a hard drive
Setting permissions for apps to start on startup
Getting a password manager
Installing a web browser that isn't chrome
Changing old passwords into better, more secure passwords- especially websites that have debit card info
I hope this helps :D
Hello everyone because this is my diary and I can’t stop thinking about this I want to share that the front door to my family’s farm house was broken and the only way to get inside was to climb onto a ledge 3 or 4 feet off the ground, using a stepladder
And I grabbed my 84 year old grandmother (who is NOT senile and does not, in theory, need to be monitored like a toddler) by the shoulders and I spoke to her clearly, in Spanish, “Abuela, promise me you will not try to climb up and down without help. If you feel like going outside I WILL HELP YOU. As many times as you need help. We’ll get the door fixed but until then you do NOT go up or down that ladder without me or my mom helping you. I want you to look me in the eye and PROMISE ME. Because I love you and I’m worried you’ll get hurt. Do you understand? Do you promise?”
And she said all the right things and, as it turns out, LIED TO MY FACE because 12 hours later she (my 84 year old grandmother) jumped (THREE FEET) down onto solid concrete (THREE FEET DOWN) and fucking tucked and rolled like a paratrooper onto the grass, through some miracle, completely unharmed, and when I found her lying there I shrieked “ABUELA? SALTASTE?” (YOU JUMPED?) whereupon she (84) looked up at me and calmly said “Claro” (of course, or, obviously)
I do not know how she has not shattered every bone in her body but she got away with it without even a bruise. Anyway we fixed the front door.
I guess technically she didn’t lie because I told her not to use the stepladder by herself, I never made her promise not to jump!!!
The thing that kills me is that this is how old people DIE. They fall, sometimes from much shorter distances, break their hip, go to the hospital, and never come back out.
I banished her outside for a bit, for her jumping crimes, and very nearly hung a sign around her neck that said “I LOVE SCARING MY GRANDCHILDREN TO DEATH BY BARREL ROLLING OUT OF AN UNFINISHED BALCONY DOOR”
Here I am climbing through the same door for reference
NOOOOOOOOO
So, let's go over everything Wizards of the Coast is trying to do this coming year.
>Erasing everything that made DnD fun
>Sanitizing everything to appease a minority of leftist puritans
>Making anyone who wants to play DnD pay microtransactions
>Making anyone who makes anything based off of DnD pay royalties to Wizards of the Coast
I hope the company fucking crashes and burns, Hasbro failed to claim TSR as their own now we just need it all to crash and burn so TSR can make a big comeback.
Wait, what do you mean Microtransactions? For a tabletop game? HOW?
Hasbro executives believe that the Dungeons & Dragons brand is heavily under-monetized, with moves [...]
They're planning on making all DnD content switch over to digital only eventually, meaning any source material can only be accessed through DnD beyond, and the ones being charged won't just be the DMs, it'll be players too as they'll lock everything behind a pay wall that you need to pay into to play.
They'll most likely disable any ability to share the content with others, meaning each person wanting to play will need to buy access to the content.
BTW the new DnD CEO was a former Microsoft employee who was instrumental in implementing ever more microtransactions in video games.
They’ve switch the President of the D&D portion of WotC a couple times over the last few years. Mearls was an idiot, but then they replaced him with Ray Winninger, a guy who at least had some background in RPGs and Tabletop hobbies, but was clearly hired because of his background in trying to force tablet and app integration into games (which failed). Things under Winninger apparently didn’t impress the higher-ups. New guy, Dan Rawson, is a nepotistic pick from the current WotC President, Cynthia Williams, who also worked at Microsoft with Rawson. Williams is the one above being quoted about not monetizing their brands enough, Rawson’s entire career has been monetizing and e-commerce.
WotC has been a fucking terrible company for years. There’s been more than enough reasons to dump them entirely over the past decade, but over the past few years they’ve made a dedicated effort to prove that it can absolutely get worse. They’re currently trying to sell piece-meal content from their books on the DNDBeyond website.
Individual feats, stat blocks, items, and anything else they can break up. It’s cheaper to just buy the whole thing instead, but this shit shouldn’t even be an option. They’re doing this because they’re trying to see what they can get away with. They will try worse. They will do worse. They will try to stamp out competition.
People will make excuses that they can just keep playing 5e and keep using homebrew, but they need to stop making excuses for why it’s okay to support WotC indirectly and WotC will continue to see what they can get away with because not enough people will have abandoned them to make an impact on their profits.
The link above has:
Players handbook 5e (color and black & white copy)
Dungeon Masters Guide 5e
Monster Manual 5e
Deities and Demigods
Moon over Graymoor
Character Sheets 5e
note: all are in pdf format!
Thought I'd share all of my bookmarks I've saved for DMing, that I've been collecting for a year now. This all exists on a Google Document..
Tons of resources for DM's including music!
More fun resources! ^
Includes: Dungeon Masters Guide 5e, Monsters Manual 5e, Players Handbook 5e, and the oneshot campaign Moon Over Graymoor.In English.
That link has lots of different formats! ^
Fuck corporate greed! Ya'll have fun and stay nerdy!
Got any older stuff? Like ADnD and 3.5?
not at the moment, but I will try to find some stuff and share links!
Small collection of various dnd 3.5 books
Okay that link has:
Complete Adventurer
Complete Champion
Complete Divine
Complete Mage
Complete Psionic
Complete Scoundrel
Deities and Demigods
Draconomicon
Dungeon Masters Guide
Fiend Folio
Magic Item Compendium
Miniature's Handbook
Player's Handbook
Savage Species
Shining South
Spell compendium
I believe that is the complete collection and it has different formats available.
Ideas I found on tumblr and have since incorporated into my worldview:
God regards humans the same way humans see insects: tiny, fleeting, largely insignificant and almost completely harmless, yet inexplicably terrifying.
God had no idea what would happen when he created creatures with free will - he had never done that before, and now his omnipotence and omniscience does not fully cover their actions. God controls all and knows all, except for whatever you're about to do next.
And sometimes he will wake from his godly sleep, hearing us skitter in his creations, chewing holes into his Divine machinations, like so many mice within walls, and he can't even think to himself "oh God what are they up to, now?" because there is nothing higher he could pray to. The creator of the universe is alone with the abomination he has made, and we're not stuck here with him - he's stuck here with us.
Gc2b Binders No Longer Reputable
I've been away, so y'all may already be very aware of this, but I want to make sure it's stated on this blog because it's been The Brand for yeeeaaars: the quality of gc2b binders has been going downhill the past few years. People who bought from them prior and recently can attest to how poor the quality has become. The binders are just not the same. The material isn't comfortable and, more importantly, the fit just isn't good. People who've tried recent gc2b binders, even those who've been binding for years, are suffering from back and muscle pain, stiff shoulders, soreness, etc. regardless of fit. The material just doesn't seem to be suitable for binding anymore. It is also degrading really quickly and binders are wearing out in a matter of months. It is no longer worth it to buy from gc2b.
If you want some sources on this, check out the reviews here on trustpilot with people talking about this.
You'll want to keep your eye on brands that are still doing good work: Spectrum Outfitters (UK), For Them (seems to be a hate it or love it company; I know some who swear by them and others who feel they dont' really sell actual binders - just sports bras/lighter compression tops), Shapeshifters (good custom work and larger sizing), and Underworks (best budget brand).
For people in or near Germany I can recommend Undrowear! they also sell other underwear (including tucking panties). Their sizes go up to 5XL
I don't know how well they fit bigger sizes (I'm a large) but for me the fit is great and I've had almost no discomfort wearing my binder, whereas with my old gc2b binder I had frequent aches in my ribs and back
i am once again hyping amor binders. they're on the pricey side, but the quality is BONKERS good, and if you're in the larger end (i was a 36H before top surgery) they have a line specifically designed for larger chests, which offers elastic around the bottom to keep everything from slipping out (i always slipped out of my gc2bs even when they were good) and FULL RANGE OF MOTION IN THE SHOULDERS with a racerback that's still wide enough to be supportive.
they're australia-based so if you're stateside like me it takes a bit of time and money to ship but GENUINELY they're worth it
Thanks so much for these additions!!!
Gandalf, taking a hit from his joint: Did you guys know that mithril is super expensive? Like insanely valuable? That it’s very much a finite resource mostly plundered from the earth and invaluable due to its many uses? And also Sauron has most of it so it’s now lost to its Elven and Dwarvish makers? And to think Bilbo’s precious gift of mithril mail is probably sitting in the local Useless Dumb Artefacts Museum. Just makes you think lol ...
Gimli, a dwarf who has lost most of his people’s cultural artefacts: ... I’m sorry Bilbo was given what and did what with it
Frodo, secretly wearing Bilbo’s mithril mail at that very moment but only after nearly 70 years of it sitting in the Useless Dumb Artefacts Museum gathering dust because Bilbo had no idea his cool shirt was worth approximately the net value of their entire country:
Lord of the Rings is a comedy
my dnd party has run into an npc who may or may not be evil and may or may not decide to betray us and the dm was in chat today like “just so everyone knows…not addressing this comment at anyone in particular…his favorite colors are red and black…wink” so now i’m desperately trying to get a real physical friendship bracelet done before session tomorrow in the vain hope that i can somehow stop this npc from trying to do a murder on my party
UPDATE: the npc was in fact a shapechanged adult black dragon with violence and conquest in his heart. however he did let merry put a friendship bracelet on him and then when she was like “hm okay how big is your wrist in dragon form” he was like “you wanna see?” and then turned into a dragon and let merry measure him for a second, dragon-sized friendship bracelet. the dm described him afterwards as being deeply confused as to why he did this or let any of this happen to him. call that the merry effect
this guy is now a recurring npc because merry was SO determined to make him her friend that it actually somehow worked. he cast dream to talk to one of my party members like “hey…how’s it going…how are the tieflings in the party…not that i care…also i’m not lonely. bye” and the player was like “is he still wearing merry’s friendship bracelet in this dream” and the dm was like “yeah…”
fsdfjhskdf the dm just sent us all this image
Au where Logan Patton and Janus are formally taught mages/magic users who learned from a young age to use ingredients, rituals, and spells to cast magic. Aka magic normies if u will
And Roman and Remus are informally taught mages/magic users who learned from a young age that their magic can be wild and trained but never fully contained. They cast with a constantly changing array of resources and are the kind of spellcasters that rarely ever cast magic spell the exact same way twice, regardless of the fact that it works regardless. Aka magic cowboys/hillbillies, if you will.
And then there's Virgil. The (begrudging) Chosen One. Bestowed with great magical power at like age 16.
One problem, Virgil was a normal kid before this, so. He's got No Training. At All. Somehow, This doesn't seem to interfere with just. Fucking casting magic at will. What are special casting ingredients? What are special spells? "What do you mean you can't just normally block a fire attack at will?? I have?? It's easy?? Your pulling my leg right Logan???" "I cannot express to you how much I am not even close to lying to you about that, Virgil."
Aka Virgils magic is close to broken levels of OP and his actual weaknesses involve teenage angst, spite, and hubris. The powers that be told him to go save the world, and he hunkered down in a bathtub, fully clothed, flipped the world the bird, and said "no." And. The powers that be cant actually revoke his powers now. Whoops.
The others are just glad to befriend this grumpy lump of shadowy teenage destruction with little pushback. (Virgil is a food motivated cat. No I will not elaborate.)
Yes, but what a shame, what a shame the poor groom’s bride is
uh… Thor?
Some people will have no fucking idea how funny this is if they haven’t heard the story.
It is a LITERAL thousand-year-old myth that once, when a giant stole Mjolnir to force Freya to marry him, Thor somewhat successfully impersonated the goddess of love and beauty (with Loki as his lovely handmaiden full of excuses as to why she ate an entire ox at dinner) and participated in a fake wedding to get it back.
Please observe Freya’s chariot cats supervising the whole thing going “Gods are so dumb this will never work.”
Look at Loki helping in this version–he looks so excited!
Hemsworth and Hiddleston would have been so down to portray this
We were robbed of this scene and I feel it in my blood.
The best thing about this story is that Thor really doesn’t try, at all.
Like he puts on the dress, he keeps his mouth shut, but that is where his contributions to keeping up this ruse end.
Loki is the one who has to come up with an explanation for why the blushing bride has just finished off half the banqueting table and washed it down with four full barrels of mead (“Freyja was so excited for the ceremony, she hasn’t eaten in a week!”) and, when the groom takes a peek under the veil, why she’s glaring at him with such clear murder in her eyes (“she’s er… tired. Like super super tired. Hasn’t slept in a week.”).
Thor barely restrains himself from slaughtering everyone in the room until his hammer comes out, and then he grabs it and uses it to slaughter everyone in the room.
Depending on how you read the scene he’s either genuinely unaware of how women are meant to act (or potentially too Masculine to restrain himself) or he’s just so full of contempt for Loki’s plan that he refuses to put in more than the very bare minimum.
Or Freyja is Just Like That and Thor thinks he is doing a particularly good job impersonating her - she is a war goddess after all.
Reblogging for that last addition - I’d never thought of that but now that you mention it I wholeheartedly believe it.
Especially after Thor and Loki proposed that she just marry the giant, she apparently flipped out at them and they immediately had to back off like “okay nope plan B!”
Thor is probably patting himself on the back for portraying Freya’s normal expression so accurately.
