Im not one for rock divorce but I gotta be honest it's the funniest shit ever
cherry valley forever
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Janaina Medeiros
noise dept.

Product Placement

★

Andulka
Peter Solarz

pixel skylines
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Xuebing Du
d e v o n
KIROKAZE
Cosimo Galluzzi
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
ojovivo
Mike Driver

#extradirty
art blog(derogatory)

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@eggs-phase-transition
Im not one for rock divorce but I gotta be honest it's the funniest shit ever
i bring a sort of “you should maybe interrogate your so-called ‘preferences’ to make sure they’re not literal textbook examples of severe unconscious bias” vibe that my woke gay friends dont really like
what this post does NOT mean
go out and fuck someone you aren’t attracted to because a stranger on tumblr said to
go out and date someone you aren’t attracted to because a stranger on tumblr said to
You’re Not Allowed To Be Gay Anymore
what this post DOES mean
if you just ‘prefer’ to avoid majority black areas of your city
if you just ‘prefer’ to read, write, think, and talk about men
if you just ‘prefer’ to socialize with people you (perceive as) your assigned birth sex
if you just ‘prefer’ to exclusively watch white-directed movies, read white-written books, listen to white-authored music
if you just unconsciously perceive men as more authoritative/competent and ‘prefer’ to be spoken to by them
this is a post about acknowledging unconscious bias. it is not a post about dating. please stop coming into my inbox and accusing me of rape apologism and telling me to kill myself. thank you
Rocky never skips leg day
the idea that a sex scene in fiction is fundamentally useless/simply for audience titillation UNLESS they’re fucking infodumping exposition while they bone or something is so funny and myopic to me. like, you really genuinely believe for real that there is NOTHING to be gained about your understanding of a story or characters simply from how they approach and engage in sex? really for real?
i'm not convinced that art only has something to offer us when we personally want to participate in the activities being depicted
disabled ppl we need to start lying to nosy people okay? you tell me i'm too young to need a cane and i will tell you point blank that maybe you should tell that to the guy who ran me over. you don't get an explanation of my health issues you get lies and depending on how much of an asshole i want to be that lie will be anything from a humble car crash to a 1 billion lions attack. mind yr business.
"i could never live like that" well maybe you'll have to because this happened overnight. yeah you heard me i was the most able bodied man in the world but then one morning bam i woke up disabled. yeah you could have that too. there's no cure either you'll just wake up one morning and now you have to live like me
"what happened" well have you ever seen looney tunes? yeah an anvil landed on me and squished me flat.
When a typeface you've banned for use on middle school science projects follows you lightyears away to an alien planet 🤦🏼♂️
Papyrus comes for us all, in the end.
I'm coming to realize how vital it is to keep a running list of shit you did in the past few weeks so that you can participate in small talk. It's literally not anything to do with them being interesting at all it's just having Something to say to give people even the barest thing to hold on to. It's so you don't get into the "what have you been up to" "nothing much what about you" "yeah same" trap. Literally just say something.
What have you been up to? Um well it's getting warmer so I've been having to brush my cat every day.
Like no it's not that interesting of a thing to say. But now they can respond to it. They could say, man yeah it really is heating up, I've been trying to think of things to do inside more often. Or, oh you have a cat? What's their name?
Like. It's Something. All you need is Something. And if you're like me and your brain immediately goes blank upon entering small talk then keeping a list will help you remember things to say.
one of my trans friends added me to a discord channel called "egg group chat" and I was starting to get very introspective before I realised they're organising a group buy of eggs from a local farm
I didn’t realise this had to be said until I came across a reel of someone in hospital but dear GOD if you’re in London during this heatwave do not swim in the fucking Thames PLEASE do not even touch the Thames I can name like five different ways you will be violently killed just off the top of my head STAY AWAY FROM THE THAMES and for that matter stay away from lakes/rivers in general and stick to safe, supervised areas of water such as swimming pools because the heat isn’t worth the risk of drowning, strong currents, harmful microbes, cardiac arrest with no help in sight etc. etc. PLEASE stay safe in this weather, especially if you’re not used to it!!
Gently tacking on that this should go for anywhere on the Thames, not just people in the London part of it.
I didn't get a PSA every bloody year in secondary school about the dangers of swimming in the Thames to not acknowledge the fact that this river's a cruel mistress regardless of where you are along it.
Good point, my bad. At no point is the Thames safe to swim in no matter where you are, please do NOT touch it!! It is a cruel and benevolent mistress who will kill you!!
I watch this video on repeat when I need to calm down my panic attacks
ages 0-7: slowly gain sentience
ages 7-12: be an ‘old soul’
ages 12-16: allow the darkness to consume you
ages 16-19: be a kid for the first time ever
ages 19-30: develop dad lore
ages 30-35: court a beautiful lady
ages 35-40: get married, start a family
ages 40-55: promise to clean out the gutters and never do it again
ages 55-60: allow the darkness to consume you once more
ages 60-75: swinger cruises with your beautiful wife
ages 75-86: be an eccentric grandfather
age 86: mysteriously disappear
age 111: Bilbo Baggins themed birthday party
wow imagine doing 3 shots
imagine doing 1 shot
part 2 to this HAHAHHA
my other phm art here
bonus (im sorry in advance)
“It's not fair.” The little ghost kicks impotently at the chalk lines around her feet. “I ain't done nothing.”
I nod, setting down my chalk and spellbook. “It does sound like there might have been a bit of a misunderstanding.”
“She took against me, that's what happened,” the dead girl says with a scowl. She looks about fourteen, round faced and spotty, with whisps of brown hair peaking out from under her mob-cap. Her face and her crossed arms have a tell-tale bluish tinge to them. A cholera death.
“I been here for don't know how long and never gave any trouble. Nobody ever complained about me 'till her.”
…well, that's not strictly true.
Number 12, Barclay Street has been attracting rumours of haunting since the mid nineteenth century.
Sounds of faint singing and crying in the corridors at night. Cold spots. Doors that open and close by themselves. Animals acting strangely. Harmless, mid to low-level stuff, typical for a bored teenage poltergeist.
Still, pointing that out isn't likely to achieve much, and certainly the most recent complaints of blood running down the walls, screams in the dark and paralysing night terrors seem distinctly out of character.
The ghost toes the chalk again, more tentatively this time. It stays resolutely unbroken.
She could get out if she wanted to. I'm not one of those assholes who brings out their full arsenal of wards and sigils for a first meeting with a level 2 spectre. The summoning circle will keep her in one place for as long as I need her to talk, but it wouldn't hold for a moment if she really fought against it.
I take it as a good sign that she's still here. Pouting or not, she's clearly willing to work with me.
“None of the others could do this,” she says. “None of 'em even saw me.” She looks up. “Are you here to exise me?”
“Exorcise,” I say instinctively, and curse myself when she flinches. “Sorry, no, no! I don't exorcise people from their homes without good reason, not if they're happy where they are.”
“I was happy. Till she started calling in all them ghost hunters.”
Mrs Delaney had been quite persistent in her attempts to 'fix' her haunted house. Most of the people she found were charlatans, of course, but I'd still arranged an appointment as fast as I could once word reached me. It wouldn't have been long before she happened upon somebody with Talent, and unfortunately not everybody in this field knows how to behave like a professional.
“I think we might be able to help each other,” I say, careful to keep my voice calm and level.
“Don't see how. Not unless you can exorcise Her.”
“Not quite what I had in mind.” I pull out my phone and scroll through my photos. “You say that you're not the cause of the most recent incidents of paranormal activity?”
A pause. The ghost gnaws on her lip. I wait, patiently, keeping my body language open and nonthreatening. “I… I knocked her coffee cup over,” she admits at last. “She was being mean and talking on her telephone, saying I done all these things when I never did! So I decided to show her what I could do if I wanted.”
“Hmm.” The ghost eyes me nervously, as if expecting me to pull out a book, bell and candle and banish her on the spot.
“I only tipped it,” she adds. “I didn't break it or nothing!”
“You shouldn't have touched it at all,” I say sternly. “But… I can appreciate that you were frustrated, so let's say no more about it.”
The ghost looks relieved.
“My point is,” I continue, “if you weren't the one making blood rain from the ceiling or tormenting people in their sleep, then what was? There's no other ghosts on the property.” I find the picture I was looking for. “You can get anywhere around the house, right? Including behind the furniture and in the backs of cupboards?”
“Yes'm.”
I hold the phone up so that she can see the picture on the screen. “I'm going to let you go free in a moment, and I need you to see if you can find anything that looks like this.”
The ghost wrinkles her forehead. “What's that when it's at home?”
“Black mould,” I say, reaching out a foot to break the binding circle. “And I'm pretty sure it's the cause of this haunting.”
Name pronunciation in the southern U.S. is hilarious man. There are no rules. There are a ton of French/Creole, German and Irish based surnames and they’re all pronounced in a way that does not necessarily reflect the grammatical rules of the original language OR English. My surname is of (more obscure) English origin and it’s pronounced how it’s spelled and I’ve had people stumble on it because, well, you’re just never sure around here…
Someone will introduce themselves and you’ll think “That was a major curveball. By the laws of every language involved, that is not how your name should be pronounced but it is your name and not my name and not my business.”
back when i lived in Baton Rouge i saw someone wearing a nametag that read "Jeaux"
Oh! Joe. That’s easy.
“Rappers only talk about their money, cars, and clothes!”
Why might someone from a group of people that historically have been denied access to wealth, now brag that they have it?
“Rappers only talk about sex!”
Why might someone from a group that have historically been denied sexual autonomy now brag about their sexual escapades on their own terms?
“Rappers only talk about drugs and crime!”
Why might someone from a group that historically have been denied the more legal means to acquire wealth and had drugs forced on their community talk about their experiences with it?
also I don't think parents "these days" are uniquely terrible, I just think neglect is showing up in new ways as technology progresses. today's ipad kid would've been wandering around in a ditch alone all day and night before. parents not wanting to have to deal with children is not a new phenomenon.