Certified Meta Monster

bi | she/her | 29 | multi-fandom | I over-analyse media for fun. Sometimes I write. Most of the time I don't know what it is I'm doing.

[pixlerelish]

My toxic trait is that no matter what I need three hours to myself at the end of the day to do absolutely nothing.

[wifegideonnav]

“bits to use in everyday conversations”

[status-quo-hater]

I think one of the funniest abortion stances I've heard was from my parents neighbor. He's a like, hard-core libertarian viking larper guy who is very tall and very fat and very bald.

He believes a fetus is human with a soul, but also its "basically attacking the woman's body" so if she wants to get rid of it, that's "basically self-defense". He compared it to shooting a home invader. So he supports abortion not as healthcare, but as killing a baby in self-defense

[status-quo-hater]

Y'know I'm so glad someone reminded me of this. Because this was also discussed.

My stepmother did NOT like the way her Libertarian Viking Neighbor framed pregnancy as the fetus "attacking the woman". She incredulously told him this was extremely disrespectful to expectant mothers to portray pregnancy as so violent and negative.

Libertarian Viking Neighbor's response was that people consensually hurt each other all the time, and "there's like a whole community about that, with the acronym the one that starts with a B" And his reasoning was that if the mother was consenting to bring attacked by the baby, it in fact wasn't violent and negative because there was consent.

He brought up people consensually hurting each other, didn't go for one of the obvious answers like boxing or body mods or something, no he went STRAIGHT TO BDSM and he DIDN'T EVEN REMEMBER THE ACRONYM

[javascript-official]

I am sorry I am not very good with bussiness, is it good when the market looks like this.

[javascript-official]

you people have one joke

[madlori]

I enjoy it immensely when a commenter addresses all of Tumblr as "you people" as if they aren't here at the devil's sacrament with the rest of us

[theblogginggoth]

By Czeck writer Karel Čapek, inventor of the term ‘robot’ as well!

[nadiacreek]

This is one of my husband’s favorite short stories. He quotes it from memory. I’m pretty sure he can recite the entire thing from memory.

[elodieunderglass]

This is a tremendously impactful short story and every time I see it, it serves as an excellent reboot button for my state of mind.

[one-hell-of-a-sheep]

why does oscar wilde take 150 pages to write something he could literally say in a paragraph

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

gay

[yurious-george]

compelling argument

[mossadspydolphin]

what does this say about victor hugo

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

no he was just french

[jam-the-hologram]

R.R Tolkien?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

autistic infodumping

[elden-12]

Put this together and I dread to think how long a novel by an autistic gay Frenchman would be. :p

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

[wolfer-aid]

shoutout to the color red

[wolfer-aid]

was going to call red fans “redheads” then remembered that’s taken. considered “redpilled” and remembered all of human history at once and fell into a deep coma

[brightlotusmoon]

(#shout out to the color red best color with unfortunate associations)

You see, because col- *gunshot*

[naamahdarling]

*rushes you to the children's hospital*

[illuminopseudonymous]

this post has only gotten better

[jakeperalta]

not using AI genuinely feels like the rest of the world is experiencing some kind of mass amnesia. if someone says they never use it, the immediate response is that can't be true because "everyone" uses it to write their emails or answer their questions. saw a comment suggesting that not using chatgpt to write an essay is "like the 90s". girl I graduated in 2021 and we weren't doing that! how is it that everyone has suddenly forgotten that they were entirely capable of doing these things all by themselves for their entire lives up until the past few years!! am I going crazy!!!

[okayyoureacab]

Hexagon Quilt

[thestuffedalligator]

The urban fantasy show I actually want to see is a hospital drama with a dedicated wing for supernatural illnesses.

Vampirism. Lycanthropy. Cheap spells gone wrong. A woman brought in for her prenatal has to be told her baby is a lindworm. Someone is literally being followed by the anthropomorphic personification of the Black Death.

Someone somewhere out there is having their perception of the world irreparably shattered by the knowledge that magic is real, and at the other side is a team of doctors who have to roll their eyes and pull out Grimm’s Complete Fairy Tales because some high school kid tried to go Carrie with a cheap spellbook and turn all the kids at prom into frogs, and the doctors have to wrangle a couple dozen teenagers into admitting if they have a true love who can break the spell.

[sindri42]

I want the hospital director to be some dark entity that feeds on human misery but figured out that if you successfully treat the source of the misery then instead of hunting you down as an abomination the humans start bringing more miserable people to your house en masse and things kinda got out of hand from there.

[omicronus-1326]

Grimm's Anatomy

[arabellesicardi]

[meanplastic-deactivated20140215]

me in 70 years

[headrubs]

how many elmos must die

[koriinku]

101 elmos

[typette-deactivated20150825]

cruelmo deville

[theoriginal-offical]

THE ORIGINAL??

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

did i tell u guys i got into an argument on twitter bc i said foxes are dogs and someone tried to bring up their actual fuckin. classification or whatever and i just said “foxes are dogs cause they are fluffye” and they kept arguing with me. the entire time i was like “you will not survive the immigration to tumblr you are lucky we are not there right now”

[neopolitanfox]

This is especially funny because they aren’t even right. Foxes *ARE* dogs.

[trojanhorse8-2]

No they aren’t.

[supreme-leader-stoat]

yes they are. because they are fluffye.

[trojanhorse8-2]

OK yes they are.

[mr-deep-downer]

Dog

[jooshthepunished-deactivated202]

Dog

[utah-mountain-drifter-deactivat]

Different family, but same order as @pictures-of-dogs

[zarabithia12365-deactivated2022]

No, they are the same family. They are the same kingdom, phylum, order and family. They separate at the genus.

They’re a dog.

[birdsareblooming]

yeah they’re fluffye

[dacavendishtime]

theyre literally not dogs theyre not even fluffy. can we get science tumblr over hear or what!?

[birdsareblooming]

checkmate athiests

[ajarofpickledtears]

fluffye

[pa-pa-plasma]

okay but they literally are dogs, for those who are confused

[stele3]

If foxes are dogs, then so are wolves, coyotes, dingoes, jackals, and several other extant and extinct species.

Behold! A dog.

[lemon-badgeress]

of course it’s a dog you buffoon. it’s fluffye.

[findingfeather]

Why on earth would someone think “BUT IF THEY’RE DOGS SO AR -”

Like yes of course wolves are dogs, where have you been. Jackals are excellent doggies! So are coyotes. Why is this confusing.

[theknightlywolfe]

I love that this is literally two completely different arguments running simultaneously.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

That guy up there who said they’re not even fluffy was thinking of sharks

[thebelovedlion]

sharks are also dogs. ravenous water dogs, but still dogs

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Sharks can NOT be dogs they are SMOOTH

[porcupine-girl]

Tags via @jenroses

[gabyluvsxena]

sharks are smooth dogs

[grubby-gerblin]

BEHOLD, a SHARK

[bamboozled-bumblefuck]

17 clown car pileup 84 injured 193 dead

[memewhore]

[2urban2fantasy-deactivated20241]

Woman murders man in broad daylight

[theknightinslippers]

[halorvic]

[no-one-offical]

‎

[crypticgoose3]

beautiful like to reblog ratio on this

[drtanner]

That's because people are reblogging it every time they see it. Like I'm doing right now lmao

[peterfromtexas-deactivated20250]

Reenactor throws a spear at a drone

[supapoopa]

What a time to be alive.

[tenthcorner]

“The medieval warrior, realizing the consequences of his impulsive act, immediately approached the owner of the drone and offered to pay for the damage.

The owner of the drone was so impressed by the brilliant attack that he suggested organizing a competition for bringing down “dragons” with short spears next year.

Drone owners have another year to develop a unique “dragon-like” design for their flying machines.” (x)

[kineticpenguin]

I am 100% cooler with this knowing that the spear-thrower realized “oops maybe I shouldn’t have done that” and tried to make it right, and that the guy who the drone belonged to was cool with it

[brunhiddensmusings]

just so everyone knows, this has already been memorialized in a runestone

[stephendann]

Everything about this post blesses those involved with a +4 on their next Today is Good Day roll

[fromaliminalspace]

a rough translation of inscription on the runestone:

On the seventh day of May in the year of 2016 on hither spot the mighty warrior Ulf hath slain a dragon with his spear.

so yeah, happy birthday to this dragon-slaying event and to it only

[nonlinear-nonsubjective]

Happy Ulf Hath Slain A Dragon With His Spear!

[starcut-sand]

loveeee characters who think they're likable but not lovable. characters who know they have surface-level admirable or alluring traits and so make sure to highlight those traits so that nobody looks closer to see what's underneath. characters who know they're hot or clever or cool and use that as a suit of armor so that no one ever gets close to them, because when they strip bare and show their vulnerability they're not any of those things, which means they have nothing left to make up for who they inherently are

[birds-and-friends]

Flying is effortless, landing can be a little bit harder, Cornell Lab / DoC (northern royal albatross) (part 1)

[taylors-a-goblin]

There’s so much about this. The tumble itself is so irredeemably funny. The child stops asking for food and just stares in silence as the adult completely beefs it. The adult, absolutely ashamed, wandering off screen, refusing to make eye contact with the baby.

Perfect 10s all round.

[mrsterlingeverything]

Feeling so normal about this