Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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oozey mess
i don't do bad sauce passes
I'd rather be in outer space đ¸
noise dept.
Peter Solarz
PR's Tumblrdome
â
Kaledo Art
One Nice Bug Per Day
Not today Justin
Sade Olutola
d e v o n
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
trying on a metaphor
if i look back, i am lost
Claire Keane
will byers stan first human second
sheepfilms
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@fionathefloristfrolicsinforests
He should be in all detective shows
[Image description The background for Blues Clues with Benoit Blanc from Knives Out]
Now Iâm naht puhticularly familiuh with how everything wurks around heeuh, but I- I do buhlieve we just gawht a lettuh⌠wonduh who itâs fromâŚ
Every time you go in a public place and something ISNâT disgusting itâs because somebody cleaned it. Every time you feel comfortable using a public bathroom or sitting at a restaurant table or setting something on a gas station counter or playing on a playground itâs because somebody cleaned it.
Thank you to everyone who cleans the world, especially those who are underpaid and under appreciated.
I love how Zohran Mamdani is wearing a suit everywhere. And if he has anything else he puts it ON TOP of the suit. A basketball jersey. A high-vis vest. All worn over the suit. Heâs like the mayor character in a cartoon whoâs always dressed as The Mayor. If I didnât know who he was and he biked past me in NYC Iâd be like holy shit was that the mayor
Not to bring the serious to a very fun post, but this reaction is exactly what Mamdani is working for with his image, because in a very real way the most effective way for him to be The Mayor is if he looks like The Mayor.
This is a man who is VIOLENTLY aware that when it comes to conservatives, he is a Muslim first, a Brown Man second, an Immigrant third, a Socialist fourth, and a human a very distant fifth, if considered at all. He was also a young adult during the Obama Years and will have seen Republicans rip Obama to shreds for wearing a tan suit instead of a dark one and use literally ANY excuse they could to try and degrade his image.
Despite the fact that a mayor who wears a T-shirt and jeans might "seem more approachable" in the eyes of the average American, Zohran Mamdani knows that someone with his profile fundamentally cannot get away with that the way his White colleagues can. He has instead put in the effort to look professional and BE approachable, because not only does it make it easier for him to reach and represent his constituents, it forces everyone, including both his opponents and establishment Democrats, to engage with the work he is doing instead of judging his image. The fact that he is always seen in a suit and is recognisably The Mayor is, while also something he has fun with, a deliberate choice to ensure he is as inarguably A Professional Politician To Be Taken Seriously. The added humour of e.g. the hi-vis is a bonus, only achievable because he works so hard to Look Like The Mayor.
Writing tips:
âYou feel the bulge in his pantsâ - implies that you are feeling some guyâs penis, may be sexy depending on context
âYou feel the bugle in his pantsâ - implies that this guy has a military horn in his pants, invites confusing questions like why does he have that and how big are his pockets
Both options convey that he's horny
How dare you be funnier than me on my own post
These were too good to let stay hidden in the notes
First two have good trigger discipline. Not Notsomuch number three in line.
Number Three is ready to kill
Hello my beautiful human body! Iâve invited you here today to discuss adopting non-mucus-based solutions to common challengesâ
Me in 2006: Iâm still bitter about that
Me in 2016: Iâm still salty about that
Me in 2026, probably: Iâm still umami about that
Well, are you?. Weâre waiting.
Thereâs a lot to be umami about these days.
car is a sentient beast that eats dollars and can tell when you have money in your bank account
đŻ
Horses are also expensive horses that love to die aren't they
idk if this is an usamerican thing or not but it always blows my mind as a small european country resident that yall have many names and types of apples???? what do you mean its not just red yellow or green??? why is it so complicated??? who is granny smith????
'whats your favorite apple' 'red' 'no i mean like what type' '??????' actual conversatiom i've had with a mutual from usa
THIRTY TWO??????
Listen that doesnât even account for all the weird shit local farmers are getting up to.
May I present the best apple:
the world is so big and beautiful
Psych is such a weird show bc in a lot of ways it's constantly asking, "can you forgive your father? even tho he could never forgive you, can you forgive him?" and the thing he could never forgive you for was not meeting his exact very specific expectations. And the answer keeps being yes you can, because not doing so is worse. You tried and it hurt more. You tried and it made you more miserable. You forgive him because he's all you have most of the time, and its somehow less complicated than whatever you have going on with your mom. You can forgive him but you can't forget, and then one day he realizes that he was wrong and there was nothing he should have taken as a slight about you, but you both just never acknowledge this paradigm shift in your relationship bc it'd be more awkward then fighting again for the millionth time. So things get better but you never say why, you never acknowledge it unless forced and somehow you forgive him more than your mom who you were never even half as mad at.
But also it's about breaking and entering into sea world and making a janitor think you killed your best friend so you can escape, it's about gaslighting your coworkers into thinking you are the dumbest man alive, it's about only closing a mystery when it's as funnt as possible and making sure everyone else around you is as baffled as possible. It's about childhood and nostalgia and growing up in the most chaotic way you can. It's about people being killed with a t-rex skull, it's about slapstick and committing to the bit and being the silliest messiest bisexual on tv in 2006-2014.
It's about a son and his father and forgiveness and somehow also they are in a circus tent trying to find out why a corpse was launched from a cannon. And also there's an extended musical episode that makes it onto my personal Spotify year after year
If you're comfortable accusing anyone of faking disability, you're not a real ally to disabled people
One time when I was a kid a group of girls and I had to treat another student for hypothermia by ourselves because she had so many invisible health issues that the adults we asked for help didn't believe us. The student in question was actively hallucinating. When I finally ran for help the people I grabbed were slow as shit to respond, casually joking about how "dramatic" the person in question was.
The kid was picked up by an ambulance 30 minutes later.
Now as an adult working in security I get SO MANY folks- upper-middle aged mostly- coming to me to 'rat out' people they think are faking it.
I was once sent into a bathroom because a client demanded that the "fucker won't get out, so good drag them out"- I was NEVER going to do that, so I did a wellness check instead. You know who it was? A person recently released from the hospital after a car accident. They had a hole in their skull and major hearing loss. They couldn't answer the owner because they couldn't HEAR the owner.
Another time about a homeless man who got around town by kicking the ground from his wheelchair. "You know he doesn't actually need that thing, his legs work fine, it's just for pity points"- Oh, so he's not paralyzed, his wheelchair is performative? Funny story Dale, I actually know that guy, he was backed over by a truck and has chronic pain from his shattered pelvis. But sure, let's make him stand up and walk everywhere so nobody feels too bad for him and tries to help him or something.
"She doesn't need that scooter, I've seen her get out of it."
"Look how fat he is, because he just rides around and refuses to get up."
"She doesn't really need that cane- she comes here without it all the time"
Sincerely, truly, from the bottom of my heart- as someone who isn't physically disabled but hears this shit all the time- fuck off
Imagine the level of whimsy I could reach if I just had $5M in my bank account rn
FUCK THIS LOL
Google is transforming Search from a list of links into an AI-powered experience filled with conversational answers, autonomous agents, and
The era of the âten blue linksâ is officially over.Â
At its Google I/O conference on Tuesday, Google unveiled an AI-powered overhaul of Search centered around a reimagined âintelligent search boxâ â what the company describes as the biggest change to this entry point to the web since the search box debuted more than 25 years ago.
Instead of returning a simple list of links, Google Search will drop users into AI-powered interactive experiences at times. Google is also introducing tools that can dispatch âinformation agentsâ to gather information on a userâs behalf, along with tools that let users build personalized mini apps tailored to their needs.
The resulting experience will no longer look much like how people envision Google Search, which has long been defined by ranked links to websites that have the information you need.
With the revamped Search experience, the new search box simply expands to accommodate longer, more conversational queries, rather than making you decide what type of search experience or mode you want to choose at the start of your query. It will also have a new AI-powered query suggestion system that goes beyond autocomplete to help people craft more complex and nuanced queries, Google says.
Googleâs AI Overviews will also allow users to ask follow-up questions in AI Mode, beginning Tuesday, the company noted.
went to a new optometrist today wearing my squid facts âsave our freaksâ shirt from @sarahmackattack that has a strawberry squid on it. and i wasnât even thinking about it but the optometrist walked in and he was like âoh what does your shirt sayâ so i showed him and he was like âoh thatâs neat!â and then i thought he might like to know about strawberry squid eyes since they have weird eyes and he is an optometrist and all. so i was like âyeah itâs actually a real kind of squid called a strawberry squid, their eyes are really cool because they have one big yellow-green one and one small blue oneâ and he kind of gasped and went âoh my god thatâs so interesting i wonder why they have that. do you know what their retina composition is like?â and i watched as he minimized my chart on the computer and started looking up images of strawberry squid and then he googled âstrawberry squid retina compositionâ and he was like âsorry weâll get to your eye exam in a moment i just really want to find outâ LMAO 10/10 optometrist experience will be returning
Hell yeah
The funniest thing about how maids are depicted in a certain kind of fiction is that, like, at least half the time the people who ostensibly own the place don't even really seem to want them to be there? It's often genuinely unclear who their actual employer is, or whether they're getting paid at all â it's like looking at a universe where if you build a fancy enough house, maids just show up, like rats.
Imagine such a universe. And they immediately begin setting everything in order the way they please.
Because they show up any place suitably fancy, they show up in the wizard's tower and start organizing the books and cleaning out the cupboards of reagents. Even dungeons that have too much class run the risk of attracting a small pack of maids who'll clean the place up and make it- shudder- livable. Totally ruins the use of a dungeon.
Nobody hires them. Nobody lets them in. But once a pack of maids are established, you can't be rid of them. The ones inside let in others. Money or goods disappear like a hidden tax. Carefully hoarded supplies get turned into fancy meals and clothes, whether they were supposed to be used that way or not. Every barracks is as plain as possible to try to avoid summoning such a curse.
The wizard who lives in a leaky hut on stilts might be miserable in wet weather, but at least he knows that the dragon dung for his experiments won't get thrown out with the garbage.
This is a simple matter of harmonious methods of coexistence having been neglected. The vast majority of maid packs (or "staffs") are not in fact wild, but feral, and are comparatively easy to re-domesticate if you know what you're doing. Why else do you think they're called "domestic servants"?
But maids require enrichment. You don't have to worry about space â a staff will generally only move into an area that's already large enough for its needs â but they still want to feel useful. They need ingredients for meals and materials for clothing, but if these are provided and it is clearly communicated which stores contain the supplies they need, they will be absolutely meticulous about sticking to them. Managing such matters is easier if you can promote one of your maids to Cook or Butler: these senior positions in a staff server vital regulatory functions in keeping the rest of the staff from either becoming bored (which can cause them to get inventive in undesired ways) or overtired (which can cause internal conflict). A settled staff will either promote its own senior members, or ask you to make the selection. If you can achieve both, so much the better: a well-matched Cook and Butler pair can be among the most potent organising forces on forty-five planes of existence. Note that, in smaller staffs, a Housekeeper may arise instead of a Cook, but is perfectly capable of performing most of the same jobs. Lack of Senior Staff is the number one cause of maid friction. If items are being misfiled or moved from day to day, this is a result of not allowing your staff to spawn seniors.
Learning to live with a staff certainly comes with a period of adjustment may make your dungeon livable, yes, but they were bred to serve the aristocracy and as such have an innate understanding that some living areas are meant to be fancier than others â so show them that some areas are for residents, some for staff, some for guests, and some for prisoners and they will maintain each accordingly. Maids are also capable of being effective dungeon guards, being naturals at observation and stealth. They won't be overpowering prisoners or intruders, but they are perfectly able to trap them and you may even find your staff developing rare "battle-maid" variants.
Your reagent cupboards will be cleared out, yes, but if you put a sheet out nearby with a heading such as "reagent inventory" then you will find that rather than thrown out they will instead be organised, and you'll get a list detailing exactly how much of which reagents you have in stock, too. You're worried about your dragon dung being tossed? Have a quick word with a maid and ask for a container to keep it in. Don't expect to be presented with such a thing â rather, within a day or two you'll walk into your workshop and find that a dragon dung bin has quietly been installed, labelled, and filled.
Valuables going missing is a concern. Labour must be rewarded and maids know this as well as any human. The trick here is to either leave a labelled pay packet out regularly or, if you've managed to obtain a Butler or Housekeeper, speak to them directly and explain how to draw from your designated treasury. (Look, you're of a social stratum to be maintaining a mansion, castle, or arcane tower. You have a treasury, even if you don't realise it yet. You may have to ask your Butler to oversee its organisation in the first place, though.)
In short: once a pack of feral maids moves into your property, yes, they are difficult to get rid of â but treat them well and you'll never want to.
starting a collection
