go to war with the pigment you have

pity anything but me except yourself / and make the paper red if you can't manage black -glyphpoems Hello! Because I maintain zero focus, there are a number of things you might know me from. Here's a helpful rundown: Right now my biggest community hobby is streaming on Twitch. We mostly play weird indie games and try to make everything into a dating sim. Old streams are archived on my Youtube channel. I'm mostly known because of my writing. I write about unusual people in unusual relationships, and publish a few short stories a month over on my Patreon. You can check out a freebie here. Sometimes I yell about mental health, primarily ADD/ADHD and depression. This is the ADHD post that I love the most, and this is where most of it tends to collect. Other things I do here include reblogging a bunch of puns and taking some dang good selfies. This used to be more of a fandom blag and I have written a heck of a lot of fanfic - primarily Homestuck, but also some Hatoful Boyfriend and Transistor. You can find all these fannish efforts over here, or there's a Master List that is somewhat out of date but better-organised by in-universe chronology. Other fandom efforts you may know me from are the Alternian Calendar and the Pesterlog HTML reference posts. I was also part of a now-defunct Psi & Suf askblog, have a promptsblog that is on indefinite hiatus, and have a blog dedicated to the OLOHverse, if any of those are things you are looking for. (I haven't written any fanfic in a while. It may still happen in the future. There's definitely original stuff coming.)

[formerlyashkatom]

Given that tumblr is on a skeleton staff and things do not seem to be trending in a good direction, if you want to stay in contact with me:

- find me on bluesky at ashkatom. I probably won't use it much until tumblr fully crumbles, but it seems to be the next social network du jour.

- add me on discord as ashkatom. I'm not much of a daily chatter and have found timezones get tricky if you're not Australian but if you're okay with those caveats go ahead! please just send me a note somewhere that you're doing so first otherwise I will stare at your request forever.

- if you want an archive of fic only and don't want to contact through social media for whatever reason, email me at [email protected]. I don't check this inbox often so it may take me a while to get back to you, but when I see it I'll dig up the documents and send them over

[formerlyashkatom]

- rebageling to add that I've also signed up for Goblin as the most tumblr-like social media I could find, though I have no idea how the fediverse works and refuse to learn

[formerlyashkatom]

for the most part I've made my peace with being single and too feral to be rehabilitated, but every so often I do wist for a partner for the sole purpose of impressing someone when I cook something real good

[scribefindegil]

Love all the posts I'm seeing about Grace getting various mobility aids and other disability supports during his life on Erid but I think we can go deeper. Rocky had a traumatic near-fatal exposure to the oxygenated atmosphere which could absolutely lead to a bunch of long-term complications, plus he was in space for decades and who knows what effects that could have on Eridian biology. We need to disable that rock.

[animentality]

[coldgoldlazarus]

[formerlyashkatom]

I've been idly investigating the possibility of chronic fatigue syndrome lately, because 'having a weird arbitrary but always low cap on Things I Can Do Per Day' seems to be pointing towards that umbrella.

I remember when Everything Started Going Wrong I looked into it then, but I swear Wikipedia specifically excluded mono as a virus that caused CFS. now it's like 'mono is the most common virus that causes CFS' and I'm just left here like YOU MOTHERFUCKER. (mono being the only Serious Virus I'd ever had, at that point.)

unfortunately it seems to mean ruling everything else out first, so I have to do a sleep study and blood tests and followup blood tests and, I dunno, a tilt table test and lose weight and swear my firstborn to Hippocrates and all this is happening right when my GP's practice got dissolved without warning by the owners going bankrupt (?). all this is to say that it isn't happening and I will forever wonder.

but I'm afraid, because it falls into the great pattern of my life, where I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine and then everything falls apart. I've been performing like shit at work because my brain is getting worse, I've been sleeping more, I haven't been able to work on hobbies. it's untenable and yet I have to ten it. there is no other choice.

also, I got mono when I was 18. it was a lovely gift from the guy who sexually assaulted me and generally I just roll my eyes about that - typical. but if it turns out that getting mono was the downfall of my entire life and cause of all my problems? I don't think anybody will blame me for finding him and beating him to death with an uncomfortable chair.

[phireads]

You know when you have two big end-of-year essays due but seven months ago, you sent your best friend a meme and he asked you to “save it for a rainy day”? And because you have a total inability not to commit to the bit, you knit and duplicate stitch the meme for his birthday? No? Me neither…

(I found the original grid on Pinterest, as posted by @xenophrenia (who appears to be on here too!) but I’m not sure if this was a repost so I’m happy to give credit if anyone knows the original poster)

[rubypomegranates]

“People ask me, “Have you tried yoga? Kombucha? This special water?” And I don’t have the energy to explain that yes, I’ve tried them. I’ve tried crystals and healing drum circles and prayer and everything. What I want to try is acceptance. I want to see what happens if I can simply accept myself for who I am: battered, broken, hoping for relief, still enduring somehow. I will still take a cure if it’s presented to me, but I am so tired of trying to bargain with the universe for some kind of cure. The price is simply too high to live chasing cures, because in doing so, I’m missing living my life. I know only that in chasing to achieve the person I once was, I will miss the person I have become.”

Alice Wong “Disability Visibility: First-Person Stories from the Twenty-first Century”

[slunch]

tl;dr: all "algorithmically" pushed stuff on a newsfeed is mostly ads. nothing that's really surprising form this vulture article, but it is dismal and makes me grateful for one website where you only see things from people you follow WITHOUT horrible short-form video content

[bitchking-of-angmar]

The Feed Is Fake

What if every viral song, movie, meme, influencer, and celebrity drama in recent memory was the result of a stealth marketing campaign?

https://web.archive.org/web/20260515113210/https://www.vulture.com/article/social-media-feeds-chaotic-good-projects-clipping.html

Have a paywall free link to the source!

[formerlyashkatom]

Ricotta-polenta cake with lemon-rosemary syrup

Bake ricotta polenta cake with lemon-rosemary syrup using this recipe, a foolproof dessert that’s irresistibly moist, fragrant, and deliciou

also I made this cake for the humans at Biscuit's gotcha day party and I would highly recommend it, it's one of those vaunted cakes that is gluten free but doesn't suffer from Being Made Gluten Free, just kind of Is Gluten Free. it's delicious and moist and tastes pleasantly Like Fancy Cake, but the accompanying syrup is so so overwhelmingly tart that it flashbangs your tastebuds. this received rave reviews from all tasters.

the only two changes I made were baking it much longer (something about making it in cast iron made it need much more time despite the internet assuring me of the opposite) and whipping the egg whites before mixing the other wets so I didn't have to wash the beaters.

[notlayingroses]

Everything I read about recovering from burnout is like “it takes months or even years to fully recover” and it’s like okay…. I have a weekend before I gotta clock in on Monday

[formerlyashkatom]

everybody say happy gotcha day Biscuit!!!!

[formerlyashkatom]

my resolution to not become a youtube essayist generally holds up well but is suddenly a hair's breadth from snapping anytime I remember sk8 the infinity exists

[formerlyashkatom]

to be clear if i receive even a modicum of encouragement i will buy a greenscreen.

[formerlyashkatom]

god help me i simply cannot stop myself

[formerlyashkatom]

my resolution to not become a youtube essayist generally holds up well but is suddenly a hair's breadth from snapping anytime I remember sk8 the infinity exists

[formerlyashkatom]

to be clear if i receive even a modicum of encouragement i will buy a greenscreen.

[huariqueje]

Sign of spring (Detail)   -   Kaii Higashiyama

Japanese, 1908-1999

Woodcut , 30.6 x 42.2 cm.   12.05 x 16.61 in.

[formerlyashkatom]

my resolution to not become a youtube essayist generally holds up well but is suddenly a hair's breadth from snapping anytime I remember sk8 the infinity exists

[formerlyashkatom]

the unmatched awfulness of Ten Minutes Before Job Interview

[midnightnautilus]

I haven’t even seen this movie but I need you to see this Letterboxd review of The Housemaid - the discord server I’m in and I have been losing our minds over it

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Well now I really want to watch this movie.