Fml

whatever

[valtsv]

executed for the crime of asking me stupid shit in this hot ass weather

[valtsv]

sentencing will be carried out at dawn because it's the only time it isn't too facking hot to be out side

[json-derulo]

for sale: Baby Shoes Stylish Infant Boy Girl Unisex First Walker Shoes Toddler Walking Crib Shoes Lightweight Non-Slip Sneakers For 6 9 12 18 24 Months Baby Shoes New With Tags New In Box Excellent Condition Never Worn

[cyphir-spacerobot]

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!

[dogpuppy]

[sourcreammachine]

the engineers designing the tesla truck

[lakemojave]

You don't like New Yawk? 🗽? Bada Bing?

[iamoutofideas]

no 🛩️

[transmechanicus]

anotha one🛩️

[thememedaddy]

[endlace]

You if bugs didn't exist

[m0nk3y-bl0g]

[homunculus-argument]

Not book smart or street smart but a secret third thing.

[luckyletd0wn]

supid

[homunculus-argument]

supid.

[cuunos]

[februarytrash]

being sad and horny is a privilege

[rainformation]

formative years? aren’t they all?

[absolutejamer]

show me a permanent self and i will show you a facade or a corpse

[miche-perez]

Every day we stray farther from the light when we could have this today, yesterday, tomorrow. 🕵🏻‍♂️ 🐸 🐷

[coughloop]

Worlds oldest haunted house has passed away at the age of 207

[coughloop]

I think you have a fundamental misunderstanding of... maybe everything actually

[boringkate]

You listen to music regularly? Why? Have you even tried quitting? Could you quit? You get music stuck in your head? Wow. You're so ruined and music brained. I bet you make your partners listen to music with you when you have sex. Music addiction has really ruined a whole generation. You know it's not realistic to expect reverb in real life, right? You're probably so desensitized that you don't even feel anything anymore when you hear a bird singing that it wants some fuck.

[paradigm-adrift]

I don't have a problem with people listening to music per se, but I do have a problem with the music industry exploiting & mistreating artists.

Personally, I abstain from all music in order to keep my hands clean but really music should just be illegal outright to protect musicians from abuse.

[terramythos]

holy shit this person in the notes

[discodyke-dogthing]

[sacred-portal]

[tangledbeast]

If it makes you feel any better, he hated it too.

[gayserblast]

This is the funniest and saddest sentence I've read all week

[brucebocchi]

[infinityundone]

My prediction for the next Benoit Blanc film is that after Marta (accused of a murder, scared but works with Blanc), Helen (pretends to be a murdered person to work with Blanc), and Jud (accused of a murder, keeps trying to confess to it and has to be stopped by Blanc), the next in line is going to be someone who has not committed a murder, but really wants to do so and Blanc has to continuously talk them out of it while also trying to find a different murderer.

[niightegoblingtyime]

I can hear it now,

Watson #4, absolutely losing it: Everyone already decided I’m guilty, and all of my problems could be solved by just becoming the person everyone tells me I am! Don’t you see? I can fix this! I just have to kill him!

A very frazzled and exhausted Blanc: Ah don’t knohw how tuh tell you this buht… no. Do nawt do that.

[squirrelstone]

Well yuh see, tha’d be uh little hawrd ta do, on accounta tha fact that he’s ahlready dead

[expertpedestrian]

[ladytengen]