Not all âterfsâ (radical feminists) are obvious. Some of us hide our faces online so no one recognizes us. Some of us have to pretend in real life around our friends that we support trans ideology. Weâre not conservative women. Weâre not middle aged people that simply donât understand trans people.
We are the woman you work with who uses your preferred pronouns, but privately feels as though sheâs engaged in your fetish without her consent.
We are the store worker who sees your male body, but recognizes that you are wearing womenâs clothes and have long hair and knows you want to be identified as a woman, so she calls you maâam even though it goes against her beliefs and instincts.
We are that one friend who stays very quiet during discussions (hate) on J.K Rowling.
We may even be the friend that says she supports your transition, even though sheâs known you your whole life and youâve never been dysphoric, supports you even though you are engaging in stereotypes, but doesnât want to loose a good friend by voicing her concerns.
saw a tiktok where a woman was talking about men not taking her saying âstopâ during sex seriously. the comments were infested with ppl saying things like âthatâs why u need a safeword!! sometimes ppl say no but donât mean it!!â like idk about you but iâd much rather stop for no reason than be a fucking rapist.
i dunno i feel like BDSM creeping its way into vanilla sex is really reinforcing victim blaming with stuff like this.
People really donât want to acknowledge how many men are rapists. This is all too common. You saw it in MeToo discussions. Ppl would be like âwell if thatâs rape than Iâve been rapedâ âŠlike yeah sis. You too. Coercion and not listening to nos or stops. This shit is all too common. Male entitlement to sex/womenâs bodies is everywhere
After I was raped last year I was trying to explain to my beloved gender studies professor godmother that the guy was clearly entrenched in BDSM and it was like he had lost the ability to register ânoâ and genuine distress. This guy continued for 6 months to try and go on a second date because he didnât think heâd done anything wrong. She gave me the liberal line that âreal BDSMâ isnât like that. She genuinely no true scotsmaned my rapist. But to me the connection is clear. Men in BDSM have their rapist impulses validated as a âkinkâ within that community and condition themselves out of any respect for a womanâs boundaries they may ever have had.
Itâs this kind of orgasm self brainwashing that makes me so concerned not just about BDSM but the consequences of sex dolls and especially child sex dolls. While some say they are a way to satisfy the urge to harm children what Iâve seen is that it will likely make them more comfortable assaulting children and women. They can provide the practice and experience to be comfortable using the body of someone rendered unconscious to gratify oneself.
Sex is a powerful tool for brain conditioning and BDSM conditions men to be wholly comfortable ignoring âno.â And really if a man does not recognize no means no-stop immediately what makes you think heâll respect it when you say zucchini.
If he is getting off on abusing a woman, donât be surprised when he âactuallyâ abuses a woman to get off. They can easily ignore a âsafe wordâ and âsafe wordsâ can be forgotten. Women get into relationships with men they TRUST and are led to believe they need to role-play a rape-victim to excite him, and are heartbroken and violated when they were ignored and get abused by someone they trusted not to hurt them.
Here are just a few examples:
âI said our safe word but he ignored it, I said it again and he ignored it once more.â (1/6)
âNot to mention [he] didnât actually stop until I said [the safe word] like 3 times as well as ânoâ and other things.â(2/6)
âI said the safe word⊠He didnât stop. I said it again. Then I said it a few more timesâŠI lost count. He didnât stop until he was doneâ(3/6)
ââŠit hurt so I told him to stop and he said he was really close so I said our safe word⊠he said âjust hold onâ and finishedâ(4/6)
âI said my safeword and pushed away. He just⊠continued.â(5/6)
âI couldnât think of our safe word to save my life. I was screaming, telling him to stop and tried pushing him away⊠he just pinned me down even harder⊠I just feel⊠worthless and abused?â(6/6)
I thought even kinkster garbage thought that unless you have an established safe word with someone âstopâ and ânoâ are more than viable. They really are just pro rape pieces of shit.
I was in line at Aldi and this girl with two toddlers in front of me had her card declined and she looked so fucking sad and said âlet me call my husband real quickâ and it was only 18 dollars, so I just paid for it, and she was very sweet and then as she walked off, the lady behind me said `âYou know that was probably a scam, right?â and like, even if it was, like what a sad fucking scam, right? 18 dollars at the Aldi. If youâre âscammingâ me for some Tyson chicken and apple juice and cauliflower, then just take my fucking money.Â
This happened to me, too. A woman had used WIC for the majority of her stuff (which I say from personal experience is such a long and embarrassing process) and to buy the remainder of her groceries, which included diapers and wipes, she used a card, and it got declined. I bought the other $30 of her groceries because hey, Iâve been there, and now Iâm not. She was extremely emotional and began to cry and even hugged me. My mom called me on the drive home and could tell I had been crying myself, asked what was wrong, and when I told her what happened, she berated me for being âduped.â I couldnât believe she could be so disappointed in one of her children for doing something- nice? Is that the hill you want to die on? Getting mad about people needing groceries?
I once paid for a womanâs bill at the vetâŠit wasnât a big one, but she was trying to pay for some medication for her dog, and her card was declined. And her lip started trembling, and she says âI donât get paid until Tuesday, would he be ok until then?âÂ
So I just told them to add the $20 something onto my bill, and I thought she was going to break down crying right there.
And I donât care if it was a scam or not. Just do nice things for people sometimes.Â
So this has happened to me but from the other side. Several years ago when my oldest was around three or so, I had my debit card decline at Walmart. It wasnât a scam or a mistake, I was genuinely broke. Out of money. I checked my bank and discovered I had something like 7 dollars left to my name and a hungry kid and nothing to eat at home. So I sat there trying to come up with the best way to stretch that tiny amount of money to feed my kid. Not even to feed me. I can live on popcorn or something if I have to but my kid was three and he had to eat. So there I am trying really hard not to cry while I slowly take things out of my basket to get it down to under 7 bucks, when a lady tapped me on the shoulder. I looked up and she smiled at me and started putting the things back in my cart. I opened my mouth to tell her that I didnât have the money for them but she stopped me right away and said âDonât worry about it. Itâs gonna be fine.â Then she handed the cashier her credit card and said âRing up all of it.â My kid got to eat because of her. I got to eat because of her. I had laundry soap and deodorant because of her. She couldâve just ignored me silently struggling in that line. She couldâve decided I was a scam and gone home feeling good about avoiding being duped. But instead she chose to help me and she saved us. So maybe the person struggling in front of you is trying to put one over on you or maybe they are just sad and broke and trying to figure out what to do. You get to decide which you want to believe and what you want to do. But Iâll tell yâall, no one has ever been more beautiful to me than that lady in that line who saved me and my baby. Be like her. Be beautiful.
One time, my dad and I were living the grocery store and there was a guy outside asking for money to buy some stuff to take home for his kids. It was around Christmas time. My dad asked him if he could give him groceries instead of money, and the guy immediately said yes, so my dad gave him one of everything we bought (meat, rice, some chocolates, milk, oil). At that time, my dad hadnât gotten his paycheck because the company he worked for was going through a tough time, but he didnât care, he saw an opportunity to help someone and he did.
Another time, my dad gave 50 bucks to a guy who said he needed to buy medicine for his kids. I told my dad he was probably going to spend the money on alcohol or something, but my dad said that âwhether he was lying or not says something about HIS character, but hearing someone in need and choosing not to help when I have the means to says something about mineâ.
âwhether he was lying or not says something about HIS character, but hearing someone in need and choosing not to help when I have the means to says something about mineâ
a âhorrorâ movie where the main character had DID/OSDD and theyâre possessed by a demon but didnât realize because the system just thinks thereâs a new alter
Some symptoms of our dissociative disorder we experience we don't see talked about much:
- Having trouble telling apart fiction and reality because most of the time, reality doesn't feel real
- Not always being able to see other people around me as real
- Not being able to believe something really happened months or even years after the fact
- Never feeling like I can trust myself, especially my own memories
- Being terrified because of sudden negative emotions or panic over a trigger I don't understand and didn't know existed
- The sheer terror of watching my own body move against my will and not being able to stop it, being forced to just sit there and watch my own body do things I didn't choose
- Never feeling like I have full control over my own life and future (but feeling like I need to control it to an almost obsessive degree)
- Feeling like my entire life has been taken away from me because of how much of my memory is gone
- Never being able to see my own body, or even my own mind and thoughts as really mine
- Almost never being able to keep a schedule together because I never know when my symptoms are going to get worse and make it harder to function
- Never feeling like I know who I am no matter how much I analyze every part of myself
- Being constantly terrified that any second I could have hours, days, even months or years ripped away from me from dissociation and memory loss
- Never being able to be sure I didn't do something, even if it sounds like something I would never do
âOn November 23, Natalee Bingham, a friend of a Club Q victim, appeared on CNN to refute the shooterâs alleged gender identity. When asked for comment on Aldrichâs ânon-binaryâ identity, Bingham called it âludicrous,â and claimed âit was obviousâ Aldrich was a man based on his appearance.â                   But I thought you couldnât assume gender based on appearance?
After it was revealed that a shooter who killed 5 people and injured 25 others at an LGBT nightclub in Colorado identifies as ânon-binaryâ a
After it was revealed that a shooter who killed 5 people and injured 25 others at an LGBT nightclub in Colorado identifies as ânon-binaryâ and uses gender neutral pronouns, trans activists took to social media to express disbelief over his self-declared identity.
Anderson Lee Aldrich, 22, opened fire at Club Q on November 19, tragically killing Raymond Green Vance, Kelly Loving, Daniel Aston, Derrick Rump and Ashley Paugh. At least 25 others in the venue were also injured during the incident. Aldrich was arrested at the scene and taken into police custody.
Following news of the mass killings, prominent figures blamed âhomophobiaâ and âtransphobiaâ for the shooting.
California Senator Scott Wiener, who introduced a bill that turns the state into a refuge for youth and parents of children seeking out puberty-halting drugs, went so far as to blame the shooting on the use of the word âgroomerâ online.
However, a recent court filing revealed that Aldrich identifies as a non-binary individual, and therefore could be considered a member of the LGBTQ community according to his chosen status.
On November 22, Aldrichâs legal team submitted court documents stating that their client prefers use they/them pronouns and goes by âMx. Aldrichâ as opposed to âMr.â or âMs.â Aldrich. The shooter also had legally changed his name shortly after his 16th birthday, and was born Nicholas Franklin Brink.
The revelation came after days of fierce online assertions over the shooters motivations, with many trans activists blaming both conservatives and gender critical feminists for the shooting. Some took aim at conservative commentators such as Matt Walsh and Tucker Carlson, with others even directing their ire at childrenâs author JK Rowling.
âWow turns out I had never in my life experienced fury until the second I read the sentence âthe shooter now claims he is non-binary,'â tweeted Gretchen Felker-Martin. Felker-Martin recently published a novelcentered around trans-identified males graphically murdering feminists.
Some reporters even struggled to decide which pronouns to use for the shooter when reporting on the case. One CBS News clip showed reporter Karen Morfitt stumbling over her words as she attempted to use gender neutral pronouns for Aldrich, while CNN presenters speculated that Aldrich wasnât really non-binary, but was instead setting up his defense case against the hate crime charges.Â
On November 23, Natalee Bingham, a friend of a Club Q victim, appeared on CNN to refute the shooterâs alleged gender identity.
When asked for comment on Aldrichâs ânon-binaryâ identity, Bingham called it âludicrous,â and claimed âit was obviousâ Aldrich was a man based on his appearance.Â
âIt was obvious with the mugshot thatâs a man. Thatâs not a non-binary person because in no way shape or form could they appear as a woman the next day,â Bingham claimed.
Bingham called it âoffensiveâ for a âmaleâ to âplay that role,â and reiterated that it was easy to tell Aldrich was not really what he claimed to be.
The clip of Binghamâs appearance began circulating on social media, and many users were quick to point out Binghamâs hypocrisy over not respecting Aldrichâs identity because of his appearance.
Disclosure notice: @Slatzism is the Editor-in-Chief at Reduxx.
âBut I thought we canât tell anyoneâs gender until they tell us? Arenât we just supposed to believe what people say? Fairly sure Natalee is engaging in some double standards here,â one user said in response to the clip.
âOh so it sounds like we donât need to declare or recognize pronouns any more, we can just go by looks. Right?,â another user questioned.
The narrative that Aldrich is claiming to be non-binary as a legal maneuver to secure leniency during the trial began circulating across social media shortly after news of the court filing broke. Many trans activists are now claiming that Aldrich is only pretending to be non-binary, citing evidence such as family members using he/him pronouns to describe him on social media.Â
Trans activist and alleged sex offender Eli Erlick repeatedly misgendered Aldrich on Twitter and claimed he is âplaying the media by lyingâ about his gender identity.
âUsing queer and trans self-determination ethos against us is a disgusting but effective way to further harm our communities.â Erlick stated on Twitter. In the past, Erlickhas criticized those who accurately identify him as male, despite some anecdotal evidence that he leveraged his own self-declared transgender status to avoid criticism for alleged crimes he committed.Â
The debate amongst trans activists about Aldrich not being âauthenticallyâ non-binary are in contrast with long-standing assertion that trans activists claiming the only requirement to being ânon-binaryâ is to self identify as such.
A viral tweet from September asserted that non-binary people âdeserve to be respected without having their identity picked apart.â
The situation with Aldrich resembles recent controversies surrounding non-binary actor Ezra Miller.
Miller, known for his roles in The Flash and We Need to Talk About Kevin, became the subject of international outcry after numerous disturbing incidents came to light.
Miller is alleged to have committed multiple acts of violence against women, some of which were filmed and well-documented. In 2020, Miller was caught on video choking a female fan in Iceland and throwing her to the concrete. Earlier this year, Miller was reported to police by a Hawaiian woman who stated he had hit her in the head with a chair.
Most disturbingly, the mother of a young woman took to Twitter to report that her daughter had been effectively kidnapped by Miller, who had groomed her from when she was a minor, and plied her with illicit drugs.
Environmental activist Sara Jumping Eagle told her followers that her daughter, Tokata Iron Eyes, has not had a phone since January of this year, and that her family has been unable to locate her.
Yet despite all of his controversies, activists on Twitter asserted that Millerâs non-binary identity must be respected regardless of his improprieties. The actor uses the pronouns they/them/it and zir.
Similarly, earlier this year, internet celebrity Christian Weston Chandler, known more commonly as Chris Chan, appeared in court charged with raping his own 79 year old mother.Â
During the court proceedings, people on Twitter began posting about the importance of not misgenderingChandler, who identifies as both a woman and a lesbian.
In addition to those outright denying Aldrichâs identity, some claimed it was âsuspiciousâ for him to have begun using they/them pronouns only after his arrest.Â
Trans activist and writer Katelyn Burns tweeted: âI just think itâs very convenient that the first time anyone on the planet has ever heard of you preferring they them pronouns is just after youâve been arrested for shooting up a queer bar.â
But womenâs rights advocates were quick to retort by pointing out that criminals identifying as transgender following an arrest, conviction, or incarceration was a relatively common occurrence.
Responding to Burns, one Twitter user wrote: âItâs almost like gender identity ideology allows males to do as they please and then claim trans status to avoid the repercussions. Most (transwomen) in Scottish jails only discovered they were trans after they were arrested. Funny that.â
Many pointed to a study published in the British Journal of Criminology which speculated that âthe transitions of transgender people might be an attempt by pedophiles or other sex offenders to access cis-women in the female prison estate.â The same study found that a large percentage of men who identified as women in prison detransitioned upon release.Â
âSo, the Colorado shooting suspect is identifying as ânon-binaryâ with âthey/themâ pronouns. Many desperate for this inconvenient info to go away are claiming âtheyâ are just gaming the system. Possibly true. But havenât gender critical women been warning about this for years?â tweeted podcaster Stephen Knight.
The motive for Aldrichâs horrific actions have still yet to be determined by official investigation, despite the array of online speculation. So far, it has been revealed that the shooter had a traumatic upbringing with both parents having criminal backgrounds.
At 16, Aldrich filed a legal petition in Texas seeking to âprotect himselfâ from his father, who had a criminal history including domestic violence against his mother. Aldrichâs father is an MMA fighter and porn actor who is reportedly addicted to methamphetamine.Â
Formal charges are to expected to be brought against Aldrich at his next court hearing, set for December 6.
By Shay Woulahan Shay is a writer and social media content creator for Reduxx. She is a proud lesbian activist and feminist who lives in Northern Ireland with her partner and their four-legged, fluffy friends.
It is possible to mourn the dead and point out the hypocrisy of the TRA response to a shooter with pronouns.
Wow, anger and frustration at people claiming to be something you are when you feel they obviously aren't? And the harm you can see it bringing to your community?
I hate that capitalistic image of woman who is thriving is a woman who âgets toâ endlessly indulge in her appearance, have expensive clothes and makeup and spend her time in salons and she still doesnât eat a lot or want anything but to be desirable, because this is the worst nightmare scenario. To be so completely distanced from your own humanity and desires, you invest all your time and resources to reducing yourself into a male fantasy which only gets you worthless male attention.
When I imagine women thriving, I see them owning the entire world, I see them powerful and strong, climbing and jumping and laughing, I see them looking exactly as they do, none of them even imagining to change something on their bodies. Theyâre smug and filled with desires and they chase them without guilt or shame, they eat whatever they want without a second thought that it might make them less valuable in anyoneâs eyes. They donât waste their time on anyone, they have their own property and community, they owe nothing to anyone, they donât need to appease anyone, nor are they afraid of anyone. They donât need to become desirable, they know theyâre wanted and desired by default, just by being alive, just by existing. They love and get loved in return, but they have places their heart feels content and full even when out of love. They bow down to no one. They donât know what makeup is. Theyâre wild and uncontained. They create their own living space and their own environment. Theyâre adored and respected regardless of their age. They take credit for everything they do and wear it with pride.
If the idea of women thriving isnât filled with at least this much freedom, power and love, itâs not worth my time.
I remember watching a youtube video about a feral lady who built her own home in nature and lived on her own, using fresh spring for water and cooking on the floor of her house (which looked beautiful), and a guy was interviewing her and went âIsnât this inconvenient tho? To have to light a fire every day, before you can even make tea?â and she shot back âIsnât it inconvenient for you to work 8 hours a day just so you donât have to light a fire?â and I was shook. This lady knew whats up while we were still babies. Legendary savage.
âWeâre in 2019.
Female hair is CENSORED everywhere. You donât see it on TV. You donât see it in magazines or adverts.
There is an injunction of society for women to remain âsoftâ and completely hairless. Just like a little girl. I donât believe thatâs a coincidence.
Young, skinny, hairless girls have been very popular in the media for years and it makes me wonder. Whoâs behind it all? Whoâs perpetuating this message about women looking like adolescent girls? It sometimes feels rather paedophilic. It worries me.â
â Camille Alexander. Musician (2019)
âYears ago I did think about getting laser hair removal for my navel hair, but then I realised Iâd be paying a couple of hundred pounds just to conform to expectations that I donât even care aboutâ Iâd much rather use the money for a holiday or circus lessons! I think thatâs one of the things which annoys me so much about society and the mediaâs expectation for women to be basically hairlessâ theyâre pressuring us to invest serious time and money and endure pain. Itâs a double standard and itâs unfair.
Being able to accept your bodyâ hair, scars and allâ is freeing. I remember seeing my Aunt Glynis dancing to reggae in the 90s with her armpit hair showingâ she looked so confident, happy and free. As a child, I couldnât put my finger on âwhyâ, but I can now. On a practical level, it feels pretty darn good when I consider how much time, money and pain Iâve saved by accepting my body as it is. I like to think that that memory of my aunt being free and totally comfortable in her own skin is one that I can emulate and pass onto other girls and women.
It hasnât always been received well though. At Lambeth County Fair one year, a friend of a friend was seriously freaked out when he saw my armpits. He asked me âwhatâs wrong with you? Why would you do that?!â, which was pretty amusing but bewildering. It reminded me there will always be people out there who may react and judge me like that. Thankfully, the opinion of people who think like that means very little to me! For me having hair and not caring is a bit like being part of a secret club. When you notice someone else who is resisting societyâs expectations and staying hairy you feel solidarity and respect. Itâs nice to be part of that.â
â Isabel (2019)
âAs a teenager, I remember trying to stuff myself into a box of what a girl should be like. It always felt uncomfortable; padded bras, shoes that hurt and shaving rash. Running, swimming and climbing have helped me to see the strength and resilience in my body and to love it for what it is. Growing my armpit hair has been a recent experiment and the longer it gets, the more I like it! I like the way it looks & feels. It has given me a new respect for myself. So I say, embrace growth & if it pleases you, let it all grow!â
â Jess (2018)
âShaving, epilating or waxing hurts. I was tired of suffering, trying to adapt to the image of a âbeautiful young womanâ society is selling us. Everybody told me to shave. As a teenager, itâs a huge subject among girls; where do you shave? What method are you using? It takes so much time and costs so much money (the majority of hair removal products are also not recyclable). All of these reasons coming one after another motivated me to stop shaving. I would often have irritated skin after shaving and being a very sporty person, the sweat and the friction of my clothes would cause pain.The worst thing was having sex on the second day after shaving my vulva. I didnât understand why women would suffer and waste so much time on hiding who they really are. By showing my body hair on stage, I would like to stimulate and change peopleâs point of view. Iâd like to motivate women to make their own choices.â
â Darian Koszinski. Circus artist (2018)
âI stopped shaving completely when I was a teenager because of two instances. The first? I got tired of all the time wasted on maintenance and the discomfort that came with it. The second was when I went on a few multiple week-long backpacking trips; it would have been extremely inconvenient to spend hours ripping my hair out, so I let things grow. Being so close to nature let me dive deeper into and re-examine the relationship with myself and the world, acting as a mirror. In nature, there is wild; it is as beautiful as it is untamed. How could it be anything other than that? I felt so relieved and free when I let it grow out. It felt like being able to breathe. It was incredibly comfortable too. I felt a confidence and boldness returning, like I was replenishing some kind of primal power. I will say that a very pleasant side effect of having armpit hair is its ability to ward off rude people whom I wouldnât care to interact or associate with anyway. Because the people that care about that sort of thing and make it a point to say how disgusted they are, are precisely the kind of people that I donât want in my life.â
â Kyotocat (2017)
âAt this point in life, I feel that the real question shouldnât be âwhy did you let your armpit hair grow?â But actually, âwhy did you shave in the first place?â Please celebrate your body! Own who you are and be that! Those who celebrate who and what they are, are creating a much open and safer space for those who are struggling to understand who and what they want to be in life. It might be easier said than done but give it a try. Weâll then help create a healthier and understanding society with less bullshit than there already isâŠâ
â Alex Wellburn (2017)
âI never stopped shaving because I never started.
I do remember my mother shaving when I was younger and I thought that was pretty unnecessary since she was a strict muslim.
I later realised itâs a thing women do to look more desirable to men.
It really irritated me that the people who reacted negatively to my natural armpit hair were men.
Like it was the most disgusting thing in the world. It really gets on my tits.
This is just one more reason that I donât shave it off. It belongs to me and I donât make noise about the âuglyâ; hair on men which are sometimes pretty painful in the eye⊠But youâve got to get over it and donât let these idiots get under it.
I would recommend growing it to any women.â
Everything is like âQUEER historyâ and âList of QUEER young adult booksâ or âTop 10 QUEER moviesâ and queer this and queer that and for the love of god please just say LGBT.
âLGBT doesnât include my identity. Queer does.â If the term LGBT doesnât include you, then youâre straight. Congrats and get tf out of our spaces.
âLGBT doesnât include everyoneâ yes the fuck it does. You can only be 3 sexualities (4 if you include asexual).
âThe community has reclaimed itâ YOU might have. You donât speak for the entire community. You can call yourself queer, but DO NOT refer to the entire community like that (ex: âthe queer communityâ)
Queer literally means strange, odd, weird, freak, etc. Itâs used to prove a point that gay people arenât normal. By âreclaimingâ it, youâre agreeing.
