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@genderwithsemder
Hello I’m SEM this is a pinned post
I’m over 30
It took me years and yet instantly to figure out I wanted to go on T
That was November 29, 2022
Posts aren’t rebloggable because this is more me working with my own thoughts
But feel free to respond or ask questions
Thank you
ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to put no effort into my appearance
Nonbinary people are so cool I wish our rights were taken seriously haha
your twenties are not "late" to start hrt. that is a normal time to start hrt. your thirties are also a normal time to start hrt. your seventies are pretty late to start hrt, but not too late. like, statistically, that's at the end of the curve. but if you are not dead, it is not too late for hrt.
The thing about being trans is that once you come to terms with it it’s really just whatever but The Cis People insist upon being weird about it
Once you’ve been out of the closet for a while and are surrounded by people who are at the very least neutral and respectful about the trans thing it just becomes a whatever part of your life and all these people claiming that you’re ruining society and passing laws against you kinda feels like a swat team storming into your house while you’re just eating spaghetti.
Bro why are you banning me from using the bathroom I’m literally just eating spaghetti
I need us to understand that the sentiment of "its actually more radical not to transition" genuinely hurts people its not just some vague internet phenomenon. It set my transition back years and I've talked to so many trans women who've felt the same.
Like I want us to be accepting of all types of transition social and medical but I need us all to remember how vulnerable we are pre and early transition. When the world is telling you don't transition and makes it really hard to do and then you go into our niche online spaces to seek refuge and you see post after post talking about how its actually really cool not to voice train or change your wardrobe or cut your hair or seek out surgery or even get on hormones, that only reinforces the messaging of the transphobic society we live in.
I know it started from a good place of wanting to push back on the horrible transmed rhetoric that was everywhere in the 2010s but it reaches a point where it instead keeps us isolated and miserable and makes us accept our isolation and misery as something aspirational or noble. I dont know how to find the middle ground more than anyone else does but it hits a point where it stops just being comforting those of us who cant or dont want to transition and instead denies to social support and encouragement so many of us need to seek these things out in the first place.
Please transition. If you're miserable now forced to live as a man or a woman when you know you're not, please do it. Contact a doctor or friend who can help you get hormones today. Find a barber or hair stylist or even cut your own hair in the mirror if you want to give it a go. Order some panties or boxers online if your current clothes make you miserable, maybe go look at dresses or men's jeans with a friend or even by yourself. Watch a few videos on how to raise the pitch of your voice and practice when your home alone or with a friend. Please transition.
There is still time. It's never too late to transition.
I don’t like how I’m kinda expected to rewrite the first 20 years of my life just because I’m trans. I was the eldest daughter in a black household. I can’t go back and edit my history to say I was the eldest son, cuz that doesn’t accurately convey the certain standards I was held to. I was the only girl in my engineering class. I can’t leave out the “girl” part. It recontextualizes the entire situation. I don’t think either of those facts invalidates my current gender and I don’t think trans people should be expected to rewrite their own history in fear of that
Every trans person is within their right to talk about their own experiences but there is an alarming pattern that goes like
“I have no memories of middle school. All i can recall from high school was my suicide attempt. The day I started HRT is the first day I smiled since childhood….anyway here are my objectively true thoughts on the gender binary.”
Like I do not think this is any sort of theoretical framework so much as it is a trauma response, and while I think folks so damaged by their experiences are owed compassion, I do not think they are owed legitimacy for what is THE most unhealthy projections masquerading as analysis.
I hope everyone in that situation finds space to vent and connect with others, but I will simply not be humoring the conclusion that suffering correlates to trans enlightenment and that anyone who feels differently about their own pasts is not only wrong but a liar sent personally to destroy you.
“Any association with my AGAB is distressing” unfortunate, but sure!
“Anyone who is not distressed by association of their AGAB is wrong/a liar” no
“I was never a boy, I was always a girl.” A fair way to view your life.
“YOU were never a girl, you were always a boy.” Not necessarily true for others
“I didn’t choose to be trans.” Many don’t! Makes sense.
“No one chooses to be trans.” Not true! Many do.
“Here is proof I was ‘always’ a boy.” Getting into slippery territory, but ok.
“Male Brains are—“ im gonna stop you right there.
“I didnt/dont” “for me, I__” “when I___, this happened” ✅
“NO ONE__” “EVERYONE thinks__” “all trans girls__” “everyone AFAB__” “the __ experience” “one or the other” “the opposite gender” “testosterone always__” “estrogen never__” ❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌
The trans men and mascs of Transexspress— or TransSexPress— Issue #1 (1996), a 90s UK trans and gender bend zine from Leeds.
Found on the Internet Archive (image IDs in alt text).
i hate that nonbinary people can't be, like, nonbinary.
whatever we do, we can't win. we can't be seen as actually nonbinary. people binarize us and often mock us or get aggressive or dismiss and ignore our nonbinaryhood or something else.
if we don't medically transition, we are "just cis trenders."
if we do medically transition, we are "just [binary trans] eggs."
we are "technically transmasc or transfem anyways" if we don't use these terms.
we are lumped together with binary trans men and trans women if we do use these terms. our nonbinaryhood is ignored or seen as some kind of "gender-lite."
we are aggressively pressured to disclose if we're AFAB or AMAB, TMA or TME, transmasc or transfem, "boy nonbinary" or "girl nonbinary." and if we refuse to answer, people get double mad at us and pick something for us anyways.
if we show the slightest hint of something that could be interpreted as binary gendered, we are immediately binarised.
if we put a lot of effort into looking the most ambiguous or androgynous or neutral, people still try to find something. and they become aggressive. people often EXPLODE [PT: explode] when they can't gender someone by glance.
our ways of expression are constantly mocked and ignored (like neopronouns, nonbinary-centering labels for gender and orientation, basically all things that are associated with nonbinary people).
but if we choose more typical ways of expression (for example, use "he/him" or "she/her" pronouns), people use it to ignore and dismiss our nonbinaryhood.
we just can't win, and it's upsetting.
Day 1 on T my dick is to my ankles I just deadlifted 2,000 lbs
Your testosterone is natural? Mine is imported and designer. Loser.
[shaking a transmasc egg by his shoulders] your existence as a man is not anti-feminist, the world is a brighter place with you in it. nothing of value will be lost, you don't deserve to spend your life in a closet, the most radical thing you can do is to exist authentically. i will always cheer for you, i will always celebrate you.
there are people with genders you will never comprehend and people fucking in ways you will never understand and people making art you just don't get and that shit RULES
this applies even to the genders you think are cringe or "why cis people dont take us seriously" and kinks you think are gross and scary and the art you think is disgusting and pornographic btw
[shaking a transmasc egg by his shoulders] your existence as a man is not anti-feminist, the world is a brighter place with you in it. nothing of value will be lost, you don't deserve to spend your life in a closet, the most radical thing you can do is to exist authentically. i will always cheer for you, i will always celebrate you.
