Faery Thoughts

I think way too much and I don’t want to keep being alone with it

[thememedaddy]

[gentlemankaden]

Would it be very pathetic to write fix-it fanfictions about reality?

[gentlemankaden]

Okay yoz know what I can live with every logic flaw, every inconsistency, every stupid or weird or not-thought-out or abandoned little thing. Except

I can’t get over the fact that Obi-Wan Kenobi - which looking at other known last names in the Star Wars universe is a rather unique last name - went into hiding, so he changed his name.

To Ben Kenobi

And it worked, to hide him.

I am not okay with that

[gentlemankaden]

I feel like something broke inside of me today.

It was a visceral feeling; my tears dried out and my scream vanished unvoiced.

And I’m wondering, are others born this way, and that’s why they never understood my fear, my pain? They’ve been broken since forever already, they never felt this, they don’t even know they’re broken? Or was I born an anomaly, a mistake? Something inside me missing, or just wrong; a puzzle piece desperately attempting to fit into the wrong puzzle?

Which is it that has broken? Which of me is it that I have lost? Which of me remains; and was this just the first break, more to come soon like a house crumbling and crumbling, to dust and less, or was it the last?

I wonder which would be worse; if I’ll have to break apart more and more, or if there’s finally nothing left of me to break.

[gentlemankaden]

After losing my mind over Imminence‘s Disconnected (from Turn the Light On) i ended up creating these two designs and I’m just way too proud

[gentlemankaden]

Okay but how did AuDHD people survive their hyperfixation-fuelled URGENT QUESTIONS I NEEEEEEEEEED TO KNOW THIS NOW before the Internet and Wikipedia were a thing?

Like, what if the library didn’t have anything on whether or not Aphrodite was ever mentioned anywhere to have a mother, or what if the library was closed or you couldn’t go to the library because not knowing your answers kills your energy so you can’t leave the house until you know but you have no Internet so you can’t know without leaving the house and maybe not even then,

Just how did they not implode from the pressure of unanswered hyperfixation questions??

[gentlemankaden]

Me, to my friend: oh look, some guy gave me these mistletoes!

My friend: what?

Me: yeah, he just dropped them on me, carrying a bag of them, and I wanted to be nice and told them how pretty they were, and then he told me he likes them too, very much so, and he doesn’t care at all how much I give him for them, and then I was kinda impressed with that business approach that I gave him what I had on me, but now my mum told me having them means I’ll marry soon, and ugh! I don’t want that, get them away from me!

My friend, whom I’ve lost a couple of words ago: uhm

Me, an aromantic asexual pining for a queerplatonic relationship with multiple fictional sapphics but aware I wouldn’t have the energy to take care of a commitment like that: please, I don’t want to marry anyone!!

My friend: you could always marry yourself

Me: oh god I don’t want a loveless marriage like that!

Anyway, how are you all holding up?

[gentlemankaden]

Yesterday I was asked to make a name + pronouns sign for a new class and for a few moments I had a moment that I would describe as veeeeeeeeery neurodivergent, because I just started thinking I HAVE NO NAME I WANT NO NAME I ALREADY EXIST IN THIS WORLD OF YOUR DESIGN SO WHY MUST YOU TORMENT ME ALSO WITH YOUR PRISONS OF SYLLABLES but then it was fine again

[gentlemankaden]

I was twenty-two years old when I learned that it is possible to be wearing clothes all day while cooking and eating, and talking to people or walking or anything, really, without feeling like throwing up

I was twenty-two when I almost cried in the changing stall because for the first time in my life I was shopping for clothes that felt GOOD and my mum was standing in front of the stall asking if the shirt or pants felt good and that I should tell her immediately if something was not okay in any way.

I was twenty-two when I realised it’s not normal to feel like shit and needing to switch into sleep wear as soon as possible because the fabric and textures of the regular clothing is just WRONG making me literally sick. I was twenty-two when I was facing the possibility of going out in clothes without wanting, needing, to tear them off, having to tolerate this horror plastered to my body.

And I’m just so emotional. Because ever since… forever, I‘ve been suffering, chipping away at what little energy I had for existing and chores of daily life I’d had in the first place, I’ve been suffering without even realising it was suffering. I thought it was normal, my normal state of existence.

[runawaymarbles]

...what is the "sex is just rock climbing" category

It was kind of a joke between me and a friend ("you wouldn't judge someone for having gone rock climbing with a bunch of different people") but honestly the more I thought about it the more I bought into it unironically because:

It is a physical activity done with one or more partners

You should only go rock climbing with people you trust to not let you fall

You should not go rock climbing with someone who is drunk or currently incapable of rational decision-making

Some people get super super super into rock climbing and do not shut up about all the places they have climbed and how many are left on their bucket list and these people are usually men between the ages of 20 and 35 and like it's fine dude I'm glad you're happy but I don't know what most of those mountains even are

While many consider it a fun activity, pressuring someone into climbing when they don't want to (or ignoring their feelings and just dangling them off a cliff,) could cause both psychological and physical trauma

There is no moral value to it whatsoever. Who you have gone rock climbing with (or whether you have rock climbed at all) has no bearing on who you are as a person. Imagine telling someone "it's not that heights make you nauseous, it's just that you haven't found the right person to belay you!" or "you need to save your first time rock climbing for someone special." That would be absurd.

For some people it is a deep and moving personal experience.

historically I have not asked myself "will this aggravate my hip flexor injury" before participating when perhaps I should have 😔

[certifiedsexed]

Certified Sex Ed Post!

[freckles-and-books]

“In the spring of 1940, when the Nazis overran France from the north, much of its Jewish population tried to escape the country towards the south. In order to cross the border, they needed visas to Spain and Portugal, and together with a  flood of other refugees, tens of thousands of Jews besieged the Portuguese consulate in Bordeaux in a desperate attempt to get that life-saving piece of paper. The Portuguese government forbade its consuls in France to issue visas without prior approval from the Foreign Ministry, but the consul in Bordeaux, Aristides de Sousa Mendes, decided to disregard the order, throwing to the wind a thirty-year diplomatic career. As Nazi tanks were closing in on Bordeaux, Sousa Mendes and his team worked around the clock for ten days and nights, barely stopping to sleep, just issuing visas and stamping pieces of paper. Sousa Mendes issued thousands of visas before collapsing from exhaustion.

The Portuguese government—which had little desire to accept any of these refugees—sent agents to escort the disobedient consul back home, and fired him from the foreign office. Yet officials who cared little for the plight of human beings nevertheless had a deep reverence for documents, and the visas Sousa Mendes issued against orders were respected by French, Spanish and Portuguese bureaucrats alike, spiriting up to 30,000 people out of the Nazi death trap. Sousa Mendes, armed with little more than a rubber stamp, was responsible for the largest rescue operation by a single individual during the Holocaust.”

—Homo Deus: A Brief History of Tomorrow by Yuval Noah Harari

[argumate]

it’s vaguely heartening that petty acts of bureaucratic obstructionism have saved lives as well as cost them.

[greate-laziness]

i just realised I've never shared my crochet projects properly here so here they are! In chronological order)

An aroace scarf! I finished it back in September and it'd my first finished project in 10 years! The one I'm most proud of because I'm aroace myself and can make my merch! I think it's great (it's a long post under there)

A sapphic scarf! First time I experimented with sewing crocheted parts together. Also the first time I made a flower and I think they turned out great! I enjoyed making it even if I'm not sapphic myself and just really liked how it looked

My first crocheted animals ever! The frog was the absolute first and then I made the little octopus. I don't have any photos of them not together and now they live in mt friends' houses. They look kind of silly but I like it that way and wouldn't change them. I think it's the eyes

A seahorse! Made in genderfluid colours though the pink was lighter than I thought it would be when I ordered it. I'm still very pleased with it and it was my hardest project as of yet. It's coloured this way to honour the supportive people in the tumblr queer community. There were many ideas about flags and I'm still in the progress of making some but I believe i can finish them because everyone is very supportive and inspiring.

My first ever reversible octopus! I made it just yesterday and while it looks more like a ghost (i think it's the face) I still like it very much. I wanted one for a long time because they look very fun and making one myself was very rewarding) i am in the process of making another one and I'll see about some other faces to make because there are so many possibilities out there!

This is all for the finished projects I have but I've made a lot of simple flowers and I'm now looking for ideas where to use them. If you happen to have anything on your mind i would love to hear it!

[gentlemankaden]

Heres a question to those calling themselves artists but using AI to generate stuff based on stolen art by real artists: is it really art if there’s not three identity crises, that one nervous breakdown you went wild during and can’t remember what you were thinking because what the hell did you there, five panic attacks, severe imposter syndrome in multiple crippling stages just about everywhere and a projection of all the issues you face and don’t know how to articulate so others will understand and actually help you plus a bit trauma dumping from your childhood in there?

Is it really?

[byjove]

there is this controversy going on on TikTok where a girl made a video about how she is unemployed and disabled due to currently going through cancer treatment and how the loss of SNAP benefits was going to effect her. and the MAGA crowd found her and ripped her to shreds because she was a young “healthy-looking” girl with dyed hair. the most baffling part was all of the people saying things like “My dad had cancer and he worked EVERYDAY until he died! No excuses, you lazy bitch!” which is soooo wild. it is crazy how many members of the conservative ‘blue collar’ crowd love to brag about being fucked over and killed by capitalism. that is not a flex, quite the opposite, if anything that is insanely pathetic and sad. maybe your daddy would still be alive if we had socialized medicine and better sick leave policies but no, he worked himself to fucking death and you want a 20 something young woman to die the same pathetic fate. we need to start telling these people ‘that is so sad, I feel sorry for you’ instead of pretending this is in the scope of good work ethic. because it’s fucked up the things they’re going through and patting themselves on the back for. maybe if they felt less proud of being fucked over by the system, they’d work to change it.

[beaft]

being on the aro spectrum would be a lot easier if being single wasn't made to feel like a literal death sentence

[beaft]

it's all very well to say "friends are just as important as romantic partners" but in practice this simply is not the case lmao. you can share a flat with a friend but it's expected that sooner or later that friend will meet someone and will move out to go live with that person instead. if you're hanging out with friends you can bring your partner along but your friends can't come on a date night with you because that's third-wheeling and it's weird. you can know somebody for most of your life and still be second-best to some guy they met on tinder 6 months ago. you're meant to just accept without question the fact that your friends will prioritise time with their partners over time with you. being single is treated like a problem that needs to be fixed. we casually use expressions like "just friends" or "more than friends". everything we read and watch reinforces the idea that romantic love is what gives life meaning and therefore your life is meaningless without it. i try to keep my chin up but my god it is bleak out there

[gentlemankaden]

I love how in most fanfics cantering Zuko it’s either an AU going „nope Canon makes Zuko too sad let’s see how to mess this up so he can have friends in the GAang earlier!!“ or „Zuko‘s redemption arc from canon was beautiful art already but have you considered this existential dread reflecting panic attack stuff he could be going through during said redemption arc? Let’s focus on that!“

I mean obviously there’s so many fanfics and many more tropes but I think these two happen fairly often, which is wonderful because they happen to be exactly what makes me so addicted to AO3

[gentlemankaden]

It’s good to have friends because otherwise my therapist would not know about me as much as she should