b dylan hollis quotes, in no particular order
âItâs butter on butter. No one tell Paula Dean, sheâll bust in like the Koolaid Man.â
âThis is notâhow can I sayâRIGHT?â
âHow did you come up with these ingredients? Did you just throw a grenade down aisle six??â
âNow the chickens are implicated.â
âThe only thing thisâll rise up from is the dead.â
âOh, itâs foaming⊠please stop growing.â
âSorry hippies, Iâm with Nixon on this one.â
âHow long does sadness take to cook?â
âThey say thereâs a cookie for every occasion, and if so, then this must be the cookie for when you descend into psychosis.â
âTo those who use Celsius⊠donât.â
âIâm just gonna listen to the Texans.â
âIs the pudding related or did you just want a snack?â
âThis pie is made of beans.â
âAsk your grandfatherâs grandfather about it⊠Actually, donât. Youâd have to dig him up for that. Heâd be kinda⊠soupy.â
âIn the Great War people dug holes and threw things at each other. Itâs a bit like a childrenâs sandbox⊠just with an abundance of missing limbs.â
âThe La Croix method of adding flavor; just enough to make you realize what you donât have.â
âYouâre diluting peanut butterâto the Gulag!â
âIf I have to beat anything else in this recipe, Iâm going to be charged with domestic violence.â
âJust let that fester.â
âA lot of things start with potatoes: french fries, hashbrowns, famine.â
âMrs Kirk, youâre my hero.â
âLook whoâs fallen from grace. Shame.â
âSeriously, donât disrespect the Irish, they can be mean.â
âIt smells really festive, like febreeze in a crypt.â
âHere come the tearsâlike my mom after a glass of wine.â
âWe start with a box of lime jelloâthe Abyss beckons.â
âOne package of vanilla pudding, this oneâs French⊠Itâs given up. What a surprise.â
âI can only describe these as voluptuous.â
ââBut Dylan,â you say, âwhat if Iâm allergic to peanuts?â Repent. You and your ancestors have obviously done something to deserve such a malady.â
*mouth full* âEverybody say thank you, Judy. You did a good job.â
âNow it says we can add sprinkles for the children. Screw that, this is for me.â
âJuice of a lemonâpretty exotic for Nebraska.â
âPrunes are just plums, post-mortem.â
âThe Draugr of the fruit kingdom.â
âThis stuff is stronger than my desire to drop out of college.â