AtomWave AU: ‘misunderstanding’
Ray opens the door of his apartment one day to find a hot fireman stripper standing there, telling him something about a gas leak and a check that needs to be performed.
Ray’s not particularly surprised - Felicity has been threatening to call a stripper for his birthday if he didn’t stop working and get out a bit more… and Ray has just spent thirty-seven hours non-stop working on his schematics. So yeah. Felicity probably brought her threats to life.
At least she knows Ray’s type; the ‘fireman’ is in a costume that could be considered normal firefighter attire instead of those ridiculous fake ones, and he’s hot, but not conventionally - not like an all-too-perfect GQ model, polished up and gleaming with oil all over buffed-up muscle. Ray has a very particular type when it comes to men, and this gruff, scowling older guy filling out Ray’s doorway like a walking mountain is it.
With a sigh he invites the guy in, and offers him something to drink, because Ray hasn’t had any water in maybe half a day and when his vision goes dark, he thinks that maybe he should, if he wants to enjoy the show Felicity bought for him. Fainting in the middle of a strip-tease is likely frowned upon.
The guy’s scowl darkens when Ray can see again, and he grabs Ray’s arm and manhandles him into the kitchen, pushing him down on the barstool. He gets Ray that glass of water, and then stalks to the fridge and makes Ray a sandwich, clattering around loudly and grumbling something under his breath and Ray is oddly turned on by the stripper making himself at home here. The sandwich is pretty good, too, or maybe that’s just Ray’s extreme hunger speaking - his stomach growls and the guy watches him with a frown and his huge arms crossed over his chest, and Ray smiles at him, because he’s grateful, and strippers usually aren’t paid for caretaking so Ray will have to make sure to include a huge tip. Somehow. He’s not sure he’s got a lot of paper money on him… maybe he could write a lot of hundred-dollar checks instead, or something? He doesn’t ask, because that would probably be rude, just finishes his sandwich and then asks the stripper if he likes cupcakes - Ray is pretty sure he has some left over from when he was in the ‘baking-to-clear-his-head’ mindset.
Another weird look from the stripper later, they’re both munching on cupcakes, and Ray learns that the man’s name is Mick. It sounds normal enough that it doesn’t necessarily have to be a stripper name, and Ray pretends that it’s real (even though there’s a big possibility the full name is ‘Mick the Dick’ or… something). Mick keeps watching him like he’s trying to figure Ray out, and it makes Ray nervous, so he starts talking about anything that crosses his mind - until he sees Mick’s frown deepen again and the man interrupts him mid-sentence.
“Wait. It’s your birthday?”
“Well… yeah. Weren’t you told?”
“Ah,” Ray’s smile falls a bit, “well I guess it’s not like you can do more for me just because it’s my birthday, right?”
Mick frowns, again, and Ray is becoming used to that expression. It’s actually kind of… hot, on Mick.
“What would you want me to do?” he asks, and Ray blushes because the guy sounds a little confused - the way he asks that question is definitely not the sexy ‘tell me what you want’, but more of a very awkward ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about’.
“I’m sorry!” he blurts out. “I didn’t mean to imply that you’re a sex worker just because you’re… you know. I mean, not that there’s anything wrong with being a sex worker - but you’re not, and- are you?” Ray asks in the end, because maybe he’s jumping to wrong conclusions here and he doesn’t want to dig himself into an even deeper hole here.
Mick stares at him, in silence, for about ten seconds before he’s launching across the table and Ray’s eyes widen in the split second before a hot mouth descends on him, tasting of cupcake frosting and basically melting his brain one sensual swipe of a tongue at a time. He half-chokes on an embarrassing mewl that escapes his throat when Mick bites his bottom lip, just a bit on the rough side (just the way Ray never knew he wanted), and he tangles his hand in the firefighter jacket - but then Mick is pulling away and his eyes are a thing of wonder, all bright with the promise of everything he would very much like to do to Ray.
“If that is what you want me to do,” the firefighter-slash-stripper huffs, voice shot to a gravelly mess and Ray feels every syllable down to his bones, “you’ll definitely need a shower first, pretty boy.”
“…and that is the story of how Mick got laid while casing a building,” Len finishes smugly, and Mick scowls at him from the corner of the warehouse, pointedly cleaning his gun.
Lisa is laughing so hard she’s not making sounds anymore, red in the face and eyes full of tears. When she finally regains her ability to breathe (or wheeze), she turns to Mick as she wipes her cheeks with the back of her hand.
“Oh my god. I never knew you were such a softie. But all it really takes is a pretty face and a sob story about a lonely birthday, is that it, Mick?”
“Did he tip? Did he put a twenty in your pants?”
“Shut up or you’re not getting any leftover cupcakes.”
“You’re meeting him again?!”
Mick decides not to respond. He’s most definitely not bringing either of them any of Raymond’s baked goods.