I Hate Everything

No, seriously

[fluidpuck]

Two fair men lie in water warm and slow,

As brothers are they joinēd heart to heart;

But Cupid hath not struck them with his bow;

Lest that be thought, they sit five feet apart.

[curiousobsession101]

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

[gloiytr]

How is it so impossible to find a group to play d&d with?

[island-delver-go]

A friend of mine just shared this on facebook and I’m losing my mind

[stydiaherondale]

just imagine the jokes LMAO

[pietriarchy]

[asexualgeorgecostanza-deactivat]

[joey-wheeler-official]

[piss-bong]

[canopycapers-deactivated2022111]

[schmendrick-lamar-deactivated20]

[journeymanfool]

[filmnoirsbian]

Is there rly any softer scene than when o'malley sees duchess and falls in love with her at first sight in the aristocats, complimenting her at every turn and climbing into a cherry blossom tree to make the flower petals snow gracefully down on her? How dreamy 🥀💕

[filmnoirsbian]

This Is Love 😍😍

[phantoms-lair]

Not to mention when he found she had kids, he was thrown for a second, then proceeded to not only still help her, but dote on them too.

[pitviperofdoom]

“Not all men” you’re right, Abraham DeLacey Giuseppe Casey Thomas O’Malley would never.

[probablyvampirerpgideas]

Make a Vampire character who’s lived through several waves of the common language’s development and can’t let go if certain gramatical habbits from different time eras.

So like, thou ist a horrid creature, an absolute cur, but go off i guess

[anachronistic-cat]

… can i use that phrase irl?

[probablyvampirerpgideas]

Absolutely you can and I encourage more uses of similar phrases that just completely fuck up the chronology of the english langauge. I wanna hear 15th century english mixed with surfer speak mixed with current age internet lingo like all the time.

[the-argumentative-viper]

Like this? Well my dude, seems like a weasel hath not such a deal of splean as you’re toss’d with. Chill already, you’re not valid.

[nuttersincorporated]

You are an unrighteous, bastardly gullion. Heaven truly knows that thou art false as hell. When you die, I will face God and walk backwards into hell just so that I can beat your ass in the afterlife too.

[fromthemindofatwentyorotherlycan]

I love the idea of a vampire who’s language travels back in time as they get pissed.

[take-a-dip-in-the-deadpool]

I grieve for thee in these trying times. Alexa play Despacito

[bardbreakfast]

Reading these is like literary whiplash

[lostsometime]

Is it possible that affecting an exaggerated voice of some kind is just Elf Culture in the world of the adventure zone?  because it seems like it’s not just taako. when the boys meet elves, talking in a natural register is the exception, not the rule.

with lup, it could just be “oh that’s a family trait,” but Magic Brian, Edward, and Lydia all have very similar vocal patterns. And Jenkins, who I almost forgot was also an elf until I relistened, has a different but equally ridiculous voice.

all i’m saying is, maybe taako wasn’t goofing when he said he was glad to hear magic brian “talk normally”

[smashing-yng-man]

[socialistexan]

Mean while, Roger Waters, the guy that literally wrote the album The Wall is doing this at his concerts:

This is on the level of Paul Ryan saying he liked Rage Against the Machine and then having Tom Morello telling him to fuck off.

[we-are-rogue]

“There’s a way of both not giving a fuck about what people think, but giving a fuck about PEOPLE.”

— Taliesin Jaffe / Talks Machina for Critical Role C2E26: Found & Lost

[mysharona1987]

[skinnyorganicchemist]

[monkeysaysficus]

Reblog to support jar-opening lesbians

[washingtoncapricorns]

Or just jar opening women. I open jars for my bff.

[longowatchrepair]

[oncelerfucker69-deactivated2019]

my politics summed up

[rslashrats]

*step step step*

ive come to give you Rat Power

[e-seal-deactivated20210319]

me? I can have Rat Power?

[rslashrats]

Yes, All May Receive My Wondrous Rat Power

[mazarinedrake]

Donald Trump is exactly the kind of person that Jesus would have thrown out of the temple and beaten with a stick, and the fact that so many self-identified Christians want to put him in office tells you pretty everything wrong with white American Christianity. 

[sillysadskeleton]

Because Jesus had authority at temples and beat people.

[theprettiestboy]

I 100% can’t tell if you’re joking here but he actually did chase people out of a temple at least once for using religion for their own selfish gains, complete with literal table flipping and improvised whips

So really it’s not that he would have trump thrown out as much as he would storm in and accuse him of turning his father’s house into a den of thieves before upending a table on his head

[legolokiismighty]

Dude, Jesus not only chased them out, he broke stuff they were selling, let loose all of their animals, and fucking flipped all the money-changing tables.

Jesus 100% would have been chasing Trump out with a table leg.

[iwasawas-strings]

Canon Jesus 10000% better than fanon Jesus

[elodieunderglass]

Canon Jesus did some very weird shit. Like, just before throwing the market out of the temple, he stole a donkey, then cursed a fig tree because it didn’t have any fruit on it. The next day, or possibly immediately, everyone was amazed that the fig tree he had cursed was withered. He must’ve been in a fuckin weird mood. Going through a Dark Period. The Chaotic Mage of Light losing his shit just a little bit.

“So, what the fuck was that, Jesus?” someone asked as they’re all looking at the horribly withered corpse of the poor cursed tree.

“The power of prayer,” Jesus said absently.

“… wait, is cursing literally a form of prayer? Because some Wiccans are going to be really upset about that, like, they have a whole threefold law thing, is this… okay?”

“Listen,” said Jesus, “If I tell a mountain to get back in the sea? The mountain will get in the fucking sea. Do you want me to tell you to get in the sea?”

And they were all like, “Good demo, Jesus. Good lesson.”

Meanwhile, he was having the aforementioned public brawl in the temple.

Just keep that in mind during this election cycle - viable answers for What Would Jesus Do include flipping tables, stealing animals and striking down shrubbery with magic, all in one week.

[cumaeansibyl]

Before Holy Week in the church calendar comes the lesser-known festival of Christ Doesn’t Give A Fuck Week

[angryschnauzer]

I now have a mental image of Jesus as Negan from the walking dead, dolling out justice on religious heathens with a table leg studded with nails.

[mastreworld]

The fig tree incident happened because he was hungry and couldn’t find any fruit on it. Anyone who’s experienced low blood sugar can relate to that tantrum.

[writernotwaiting]

Jesus was hangry.

[disastergeek-deactivated2018120]

I believe this is my favorite post ever.

[damselindeduction]

My favorite part of the “flipping tables at the temple” story is that before any of that went down, Jesus went out and wove his own whip with which to drive these people out.

I like to imagine him being just so angry, muttering under his breath while he braided together the scourge.

These mofos come into MY Father’s house…

[cheeso]

theres no difference between exercise and black magic both of them hurt your body at first and drain you of energy but the more you dabble in it the more powerful you become

[urulokid]

this is the most inspiring thing i have ever read

[captain-acab]

dnd item: an enchanted hot tub that compels its occupants to confront each other over any grievance they have been holding onto

it’s called a j’accusi

[skywalkerchick1138]

“Those poor boys”

“She deserves to be punished too.”

“I’m not saying I support rape, but-”

“Sorry to say - she deserved it.”

“She put herself in harm’s way”

“But if she was fingered, then that’s not rape.”

“She ruined their lives.”

[super-secret-bi-spy]

“Well she didn’t exactly say ‘no’..”

“Yea, but did you see what she was wearing?”

“Boys will be boys!”

“She should know better than to drink at a party…”

[minimalistfish-blog]

Cannot not reblog.

[captain-ak]

“She should have tried to enjoy–”

[thosekidswhohuntmonsters]

“She’s just saying something now for atten-“

[skreeee34982047]

boy am i glad this has so many notes

[fandom-is-my-middle-name]

“But he’s a dude. That’s not ra-”

  “He should’ve enjoyed it.”

“She must’ve lead him on.”

“But she orgasmed. That means she liked it - “

[winchester-cas]

“She’s slept with so many people! She’s a slut-“

[emeraldmercury]

“Get over it, at least you’re still a virgin”

“Women can’t rape because…”

“Be grateful it wasn’t a man!”

“I’m sorry she hurt you but don’t call what happened to you rape, it’s an insult to the REAL victims…”

“You weren’t raped, you’re just lesbophobic.”

[erynspencer2187]

“She shouldn’t have posted provocative photos!”

[erynspencer2187]

“She shouldn’t have been dressed like that … she was asking for it!”

[erynspencer2187]

“It’s the woman’s responsibility to not put herself in dangerous situations, she should have been more aware.”

[the-glitter-acetylcholine]

reblogging because it’s gotten even better since last time

[larissaloki]

I love this post!

[i-am-already-panicking]

“Well he paid for dinner, she kind of owed him.”

“She’s his wife, it’s her job to please him.”

“Oral isn’t rape.”

“Well he wasn’t armed, she could have walked away.”

“Guys can’t be raped, they love sex!”

“She didn’t fight back; it wasn’t rape.”

[narfoonthenet]

A good post

[ap-kinda-lit]

the day I do not reblog this is the day I’m buried six feet under