we ship polyvees here sir

gloriousmonsters on ao3 and my main blog. call me vic. season 2 isn't real and can't hurt me

[glorious-sinners]

want due to some kind of plot contrivance people from heaven to be able to come down to Hell in some circumstances... bc I want Val's mom to come down (possibly due to a brilliant idea of Charlie's that it could maybe motivate Valentino to act better) and all the chaos that would ensue.

Val slamming into the Porn Studio and yelling at everyone to put clothes on because his mom's curious about what 'movies' he's working on.

Someone hastily putting a hand-written sign saying 'Normal' or something over the 'Porn' on the sign.

Angel, wrapped in a trenchcoat as of three minutes ago: Yeah uh it's a movie about how I uh... get a pizza delivered but can't pay for it so... I play dice with the pizza guy to see who wins it *trying to interpret the signals Val is making from behind his mom's back* and then we both repent because gambling is wrong

Vox panicking for reasons he can't articulate and frantically going into Must Impress The Family of Date mode, which unfortunately consists of him constantly dropping references to how much money he makes and trying to make himself sound more upper-class, which doesn't work very well. Cue more panic.

Val how do I impress your mother. What do you mean STOP ACTING WEIRD. I am acting SO normal. How do I make your mom like me.

Velvette's usual issues with the concept of mothers and her baseline distaste for older women conflicting with Valentino asking her to please be nice (something neither of them thought would ever happen) and resulting mostly in her sitting around smiling fixedly and answering in monosyllables to direct questions only if she has to ever be in the same room as her.

this is kind of terrifying

Val's mother meanwhile is like mijo I would love to be proud that you're apparently rich now but it's in Hell. did you stop going to church after you left home? 🥺 why don't you want to try to get redeemed the white clown girl at the hotel seems nice 🥺 although she didn't have a priest around someone should tell her she needs a priest. how long has it been since you went to confession? 🥺

Val: mama the last thing I want to do is upset you but I don't think you could find a priest in this neighborhood that hasn't done some very specific crimes that make them a less than desirable authority figure

[hypervoxel]

Thinking about the Vees' pride parade and employee benefits and Valentino frequenting a club called Consent and Velvette being a girlboss. They call out royalty for looking down on sinners. They make a scene of giving out food at soup kitchens. The Vees have such a fake politically correct image. They're woke rainbow capitalist. Behind the scenes, they're awful, of course, we all know this, but the public isn't meant to see behind the curtain.

[whichcouldmeanothing]

"Scrooge learns the true meaning of Bisexual Awareness Week" Make Some Noise Season 3 Episode 11

[persephoneme]

can I make a somewhat gauche angel dust poll

[persephoneme]

angel dust sex poll

died a virgin and had his lapsed catholic wild phase in hell

slutting it up since the 20s in new york sitayyy

Voting ended onJun 1

[velvetteunderground]

I think Valentino was the only vee raised religious and not only that was actually sincerely fervently devout for a period of time and so now is the only Vee who resents heaven for never answering his prayers

[chopstickerz]

NO LITERALLY

And I know this may be a hot take but I think he would get redeemed first out of the Vees

[sapphorror]

it's just the way the vees are all in their own way convinced that their worth is dependent upon their ability to shape themselves into a superficially pleasing product that can be sold to others for the low low cost of their undying love and admiration. and yet they've each found two people who know them first for the ugliest, most vile traits they possess, all the reprehensible truths they work so hard to keep hidden behind camera-ready facades, and—in defiance of everything they've ever understood about the basic nature of the world—still want them absolutely and unconditionally. the sheer potency of being cared for by the kinds of people who don't care about anybody, without ever having to do a single thing to earn it... and I couldn't possibly imagine three people who deserve it less or need it more

[artbyblastweave]

Now obviously the hard part of launching a land invasion of Heaven will figuring out where they hid the hole. Finding the miniscule aperture, the hole in physical reality to which all souls are translocated at the moment of death, and then jamming something sturdy in there, getting it in reallll good and working it around until it's big enough to fit some guys with guns through. But the nice part is that the nature of Heaven means that, one, not many people get in in the first place, and two, none of them are good at fighting, because people who're good at fighting mostly don't go to heaven. Except us, when we find the hole. The point is that once we're in there's not much they're gonna be able to do. Pretty much we'll have free run of the place

[artbyblastweave]

Update! So we forgot about God

[anarqueeen]

Turning the cuck chair around backwards to show I'm not like your other, boring cuckolds

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

*youth pastor voice* you know who else got nailed while all his friends watched? that's right,

[billbug]

there's a lot of stigma associated with it but personally being a wacky cartoon villain never prevented me from finding love and fulfillment in my life

[velvetteunderground]

I think of Valentino as someone being terrible about consent no matter who his partner is, but in different flavors. With the souls he owns their consent just genuinely doesn't matter because they're his things. A bed doesn't consent for you to sleep in it, you just do it.

I think he turns on the charm publicly, and that includes one night stands with people whose souls he doesn't own. I think he almost always takes the reins and pushes what he wants, and generally people are too starstruck to say no, or realize that he's not technically asking. And if someone feels bad or conflicted or even is able to recognize his behavior for what it is-- so what? What could they possibly to do him?

For the people closest to him (namely Velvette and Vox, which is what really interests me) I think he thinks he's doing them a favor. Their wishes and desires do matter to him, and he knows that pushing things too far will have real consequences, but he sees it as his duty to figure out what Vel and Vox secretly desire and then force them to admit it, no matter what they say.

[duckiewashere]

You freaks can have some past staticmoth to tide yall over while college is kicking my ass rn

They’re very special to me 💙

[radioactive-earthshine]

You've heard of multi-shipper now get ready for multi-headcanoner: where multiple interpretations of the same character coexist in your head and they are all great.

[prodepresanti]

I've been haunted by the vision that Brighter should have been about Vox rising into power IN HELL, going from a confused sinner to the very top, without selling his soul, just manipulation, determination– and we could have seen just a glimpse of how he met Velvette and/or Valentino, just a quick nudge

[starlightpassing]

The Vees are champions at parallel play

[alastoressays]

Very important to me that reality in hell is a little bit fluid, a little wack. Valentino’s wings fold around him, as long or short as he needs them to be, defying topology, rolling into sleeves and then unfurling in an instant. Don’t try to follow the lines and planes because the geometry gets non-Euclidean. Sometimes Alastor is wearing shoes and sometimes he has hooves jutting through the good leather—but the soles go back to normal eventually so he doesn’t complain. He’s ripped Vox open several times before and it’s always a tossup if he’ll find a flesh heart or a circuit board in his chest—he has to think had about the taste of iron so the fluid spilling out from between his wires tastes like blood and not WD-40. When Nifty runs it seems like she has six skittering legs. Zeezi is always just too big for whatever room she’s in, regardless of its size. Velvette’s plastic fingers bend seamlessly like real flesh while her wrists joints seize if grit gets in them. Pentagram city is too small for its inhabitants. There are entire neighborhoods you might never know about because you have to know about them to get there. The streets bend and twitch and groan. When someone sings the lights change and the scenery shifts. Injuries hurt more if you expect them to, confidence can buy invulnerability. There is no fixed truth; Hell isn’t a place, its the collective dreaming of the dead and the damned and the demonic, a whirling surrealist strangeness only given some measure of solidity by a hefty dose of angelic power and the sheer number of thinking creatures who dwell within it.

[goth-queen]

[hypervoxel]

Obviously it's completely valid to project onto fictional stories and characters, and ignoring canon to reinterpret things in ways that are more interesting to you is very fun and I do this all time time myself. It's fine and good and makes fandom more interesting to bring your own rewrites and ideas to the table.

[hypervoxel]

But also :/ only when I do it.

Everyone doing this in ways that don't appeal to me specifically is consuming canon wrong and writing meta that is soooo rooted in their own ideas that they should just write original fiction instead 🙄

When I and the people I agree with do it though it's elevating canon to new heights.

[glorious-sinners]

Mood, but also I'd something that makes a difference for me is whether people like... Know they're diverging from canon

>'this is the stuff I came up with, I don't vibe with canon, this part is the only canon I acknowledge' <- hell yeah brother, same

>'this is how the character is and I give no sign I know it's not canon' <- ehhhhhh