Google getting snarky about people forgetting to switch to English AGAIN
h

oozey mess

#extradirty
Noah Kahan

roma★
EXPECTATIONS
art blog(derogatory)

pixel skylines

Love Begins

if i look back, i am lost
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
hello vonnie
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Mike Driver
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

shark vs the universe
d e v o n
Today's Document

ellievsbear

seen from United States

seen from Singapore

seen from India
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@gods-onion
Google getting snarky about people forgetting to switch to English AGAIN
Blank Space/Gorgeous, arranged and preformed by me, Gail. Lyrics and original songs belong to @taylorswift please like it it has taken me literally five days to get a perfect take
I totally get the "record takes for five days until you get it right" thing. Reminds me of the times I used to do that (with piano music)
hate when this happens
this is how kevin and holt met
I mean, they’re both right
Myths of Unova Author Notes #006: Names and their significance
Man it’s been a while since I did one of these, right?
Sadly this ain’t going to be a plot-centric one, just a fun little thing to keep you guys amused….and it is about NAMES! (Specifically, the meaning behind the names I put into the cast.)
Whether I did them intentionally or not, I thought this would be fascinating to explore :)
Warning: Spoilers will be mentioned. Also, TL;DR text.
Keep reading
As a Hebrew speaker, I have a few comments on the names.
Zach: The word Zach (זך) does have the meaning you mentioned. However, people named Zach or Zack usually use it as a shortened version of Itzhak (Isaac) or Zecharia. Isaac (יצחק) comes from the root of "laughter" (using future tense). Zecharia (זכריה) means "God has remembered".
Mimi: This is a nickname for Miriyam (מרים). The meaning of this word in Hebrew is unclear. It could be seen as a compound of "bitter" (מר) and "sea" (ים), but this doesn't make sense to me as something Ancient Hebrew would do. Rebellion comes from מרי which is kind of close. I don't see any way to derive "wished-for child" from this name in any way in Hebrew. The Hebrew words I can think of for "wish" and "child" are not even close. However, all this speculation is probably for nothing, because it was most likely originally an Ancient Egyptian name meaning "beloved". (Which makes perfect sense considering Moses and Aaron had Egyptian names too.)
Jordan: Good job with this one! I didn't realize the connection with the root of ירד but it makes perfect sense now that I think about it.
Laila: Also a Hebrew word meaning night. We have this root in common with Arabic. But as opposed to Arabic, this isn’t used as a name in Hebrew.
Jojo: Josephine isn't a Hebrew name. But Joseph is, and it has the meaning you said. There are actually different forms of the name. Yosef - "may he increase" or Yehosef - "may Jehovah increase".
Nina: I don't know why people say this means grace. The word for that is actually "chen", and nothing close to Nina. "Nina" actually means "offspring" (or specifically "great granddaughter" in Modern Hebrew). Which actually kind of works for Nina. This isn't really used as a name in Hebrew.
By the way, @doingthevoidything you would probably enjoy this comic
WTNV Ep. 114 (15/9) "Curfew is now 8 PM. No one is out after 8 PM. And no one is out alone at any hour. Sam? You’re my Deputy Sheriff now. No one goes in or out of town. Arrest anyone who does."
20/9: Puerto Rico Loses Power and Sets a Curfew
Head to the theatre and join the fight against climate change. Get your tickets now: https://fandan.co/2ucigMW #BeInconvenient
@wenevergotusedtoegypt So does he also think that all women need to be davening with a minyan 3 times a day, etc? That argument is pretty much the biggest stretch I’ve ever heard and I will never agree with it or consider it to fall within the realm of halachic thought, but it’d be at least marginally better if he’s 100% consistent in his thought. I think what really irks me about this argument is that essentially, in order to justify what a small number of women want to do, it is condemning the vast majority of halachically observant women, accusing them of neglecting a whole array of mitzvos on a daily basis. If someone wants to argue that women CAN put on tefillin, I’ll disagree with them, but ultimately it’s no skin off my back. To argue that women MUST put on tefillin etc. is a different ballgame.
Yep, I think he thinks women are obligated in tefila b’tzibbur. I don’t know what he thinks about ma’ariv. Certainly, when I was at Hadar, we all prayed together for shacharit and mincha, and for maariv when we were in yeshiva after tzeit.
I do not know how he interacts with the wider world of observant non-egal women either in practice or ideology. You can contact him using the email form on the Hadar website to ask, if it’s something you’re curious about Also, in the article I linked beforehand, I do think that towards the end he does talk about how it would be inappropriate to decide in one fell swoop that all Jewish women were sinning by not putting on tefillin?
That argument actually has sound halachic reasoning behind it. It’s basically the same argument that's used by ashkenazi poskim to say women should lean during the pesach seder.
Using this argument, of course you would have to say women are obligated to pray three times a day, just like men. However, this isn't the extreme example I would look for. Even if this argument isn't used, Rabbi Tucker still says women should really pray three times a day. This is what basically all the Rishonim say. There are also several modern shutim who also say this specifically. (He quotes Bnei Tzion, Divrei Yatziv, and Bnei Banim.) Basically his conclusion is that women really should pray three times a day, unless they are really busy with, say, a house full of children they have to take care of and can't concentrate. Of course this applies to men too.
It's a Rabbi's responsibility to teach people the correct halacha, regardless of whether it means condemning the vast majority of halachically observant people. Although usually when rabbis do this, there will be a "limud zechut". In this case, women have much to rely on if they don't put on tefillin. There are many reasons why expecting all women to suddenly start putting on tefillin is a bad idea. Rabbi Tucker admits this and talks about this in the article. He in fact doesn't think this kind of change should happen overnight. He's just fighting to create space for women to make the journey towards tefillin in a way that honors its complicated past. (Please don’t judge him too harshly before at least reading the article, I’m sure condemning women for not keeping mitzvot was not his intention at all)
He's definitely not making this observation only to justify what a small number of women want to do. He uses the principle that women of today do not fall into the category of "nashim" for many halachot. I'm sure this is one of the major principles behind Halachic Egalitarianism.
(Links for everyone who missed the rest of the discussion: 1 2 article on gender and tefillin)
tag urself I’m pesach
some mixture of pesach, tisha b’av, and yom kippur
How Lord English’s Defeat Was Achieved
Whilst talking to a friend I was suddenly struck by a realization that I think explains the precise nature of how Lord English was defeated. I’ve already spoken a little about how the destruction of the Green Sun should not have depleted his Clockwork Majyyks, and therefore shouldn’t have made him any more invulnerable. Here is my take on what I think happened, and how it explains not only the ending, but the entire plot of Homestuck (seriously).
I’ve already spoken a fair bit in the past about Homestuck’s underlying themes in relation to the comic’s name. At first, when taken literally, “Homestuck” appears to be named for only a very small portion of Act 1, when John is literally “stuck in his home”. He is able to leave later on, so he’s no longer home-stuck, right? Now, my take has always been that this depends on your definition of “home”. Homestuck is a story about people leaving behind “homes” of various scope. John leaves his house, yes, but then he leaves his universe, his session, and ultimately his fundamental reality behind. He becomes unstuck from canon itself. From what more is there left to become “unstuck”?
Let’s remind ourselves what the “treasure” juju does. I mean, obviously we know that Caliborn initially used it to seal the souls of the beta kids, and then later Vriska deployed it against Lord English. But what else does it do? John put his hand through it and it became distributed throughout the canon of Homestuck. This is an ability with a very specific scope; he is distributed not throughout reality, but throughout Homestuck itself. There’s a reason why it is shaped like the Homestuck logo; the ultimate weapon is a gateway to Homestuck.
Lord English cannot be destroyed by conventional means, he can only be defeated by the exploitation of glitches in Paradox Space. So far, the glitches in Paradox Space we have seen have taken a very specific form also; metacanonical altering. Caliborn jams sparkle dust in the game cartridge, and .jpeg artifacts appear across the comic. John sticks his hand in the the juju, he gains the ability to use a retcon glitch. This is how one “glitches” Paradox Space, they interact with the narrative itself; with Homestuck itself. The juju allows one to do this, and this is why it’s so powerful.
Here’s my hypothesis. The weapon/treasure juju does not have three different abilities, it has one. We’ve been seeing it as 1. being able to trap four souls, 2. being able to impart retcon abilities, and 3. having an offensive ability to be used against Lord English. In reality, these are all one ability! The ability to act as a gateway to the Homestuck canon!
Caliborn did not seal the four kids within the juju! He sealed them within Homestuck. This is why the comic is called “Homestuck”! The kids are literally trapped within the narrative by the power of the juju. But, this power is also how Lord English is eventually defeated! Here is what happens in the [S] Act 7 flash.
Vriska activates the juju, it grows big and the kid’s symbols flash on its surface.
The symbol on the victory platform flips around, and turns white, the same colour and size as the juju. A door appears on its surface.
A door also appears on the side of the juju facing Lord English! This is not a coincidence. There are two doors here, one leading one way, and one leading the other way.
Homestuck is ending. By that expanding convention of the Kids, John in particular, escaping their bonds, then there is one more bond for them to break, one more door for them to pass. They need to leave the comic itself.
This is what the white juju with the door represents! The door on the Kid’s side leads out of Homestuck, whereas the door on English’s side leads in.
The kids will get to live on in a happy life beyond the narrative, possibly in the extracanon epilogue, the Paradox Space comic, not to mention fanworks. English will not. Caliborn gaining his power is shown at the moment of his defeat because his timeline is cyclical, marked by two circumstancially simultaneous events; his birth and his defeat. Similarly, the kids leaving Homestuck and Lord English “entering” it are two circumstantially simultaneous events orchestrated by the juju. Lord English has become trapped within Homestuck. While the comic may end for the kids, and they can move on, English is forever trapped within a loop of destruction, held by the bounds of canon.
The reason the juju flashes with the kids colours is because it is preparing to release them, but not to fight English, it is preparing to release them from Homestuck itself, by the comic’s ending.
This is why the comic had to end right after this moment, because otherwise the kids would not have escaped and English would have more canon scope throughout which to dominate.
This is why the juju is white, this is why the Act 7 curtains are white. White is the colour of Homestuck itself, as shown in the text for the logo displayed in the flash in act 1. The white curtains close on the comic, the white juju acts as the gateway into canon.
Perhaps the Green Sun had influence that reached beyond the canon (Paradox Space comic)? If this was the case, the English can no longer use it to access anything outside the canon, because Calliope destroyed it.
This is what Homestuck means. The clue was hidden in the name all along. This was a story about four kids who had literally been trapped inside their own story, and escaped it, trapping their unkillable villain inside it as it ended, meaning that he could spread his destruction no further. Of course Lord English can no longer cause harm within Homestuck, if Homestuck itself has ended! What an appropriate way to defeat an undefeatable villain in a comic where fourth wall breaking and metacanonical interactions with the main narrative are such an integral plot device.
Here is Hussie, deciding to kill off Lord English the only way he can; by ending his own comic. If the ending seemed abrupt to you, this is why.
That magnificent bastard.
i don’t like fantasy books where someone is like ‘but i don’t want to be king!’ and their gandalf-figure says ‘ahhh… but that makes you Super Qualified’ listen putting people in positions of leadership simply because their heart is pure is no way to run an empire!!! i would rather stick with someone who was kind of evil but knew how to run the national health service, not Michael the Virtuous who is really aces at slaying dragons but a bit rubbish when it comes to international trading partners, thankyouverymuch.
So basically you prefer Pharaoh to Moses
Looking to sell this goat. It’s only little, so asking price is 2 zuzim ONO.
Would you consider trading it for a cat? I’ve got a nice one, doesn’t eat much …
If you are willing to exchange for a dog I have one. It doesn’t bite, much…
Sounds perfect! I have a stick i’m sure the dog will LOVE to fetch <3
I will be having a bonfire maybe you can bring the stick to the bonfire and play fetch with the stick there.
I’ll bring enough water bottles for everybody! Always important to be properly hydrated.
We may get to see the cows that sometimes graze in the field across from where the bonfire will be.
So be careful not to spook them.
Oh hey, if we’re having a bonfire maybe I’ll bring some steaks and stuff to grill? I can get a good deal if we invite my friend the butcher.
My spooky friend’s been asking about your friend. He’s a bit grim, but everyone hangs out with him, eventually.
I’m only going if The Big Guy is invited. I’m guessing your spooky friend is related to Him, so I’m in.
Rabbi Tarfon says, The day is short, the work is great, the workers are lazy, but the reward is immense, and the master of the house is knocking at your door. He would [also] say, It is not upon you to finish the work, but neither are you free to desist from it.
Pirkei Avot 2:15-16 (via witch-of-habonim-dror)
i know that people being on their phones has become like a symbol of apathy and uncaring but so many people i know use social media to share love. like yesterday i got to watch a wedding livestreamed to everyone who couldn’t make it. i’ve seen my friend slowly learn how to cope with being a teen mom because of a massive outpouring of “mumblr” support + tips. i’ve seen my friends come out as gay, learn to cook, discover the flaws in their feminism, work for social change, make good life choices, go to amazing places, develop passions, form educated opinions, learn to love themselves. i’ve seen people post the bravest recovery posts and shy political posts and everything in between.
and i don’t honestly care how edgy you think your art is. what you’re telling me when you draw grey people looking at a white screen is that you don’t care what happens to the other people in your life.
but i do. i care about the boy i’m in a long distance relationship with, but i also care about people i’ve never met. i’ve been following some people for three years and genuinely care about their experiences. i’m glad you’re still in touch with the people you love, even if you’re not paying attention directly to me! i get happy when you finally dump him! i’m sad when your cat gets sick! i give a shit.
i don’t think technology is taking empathy away from us. i think it’s changing it.
that doesnt seem right
…in a MILE
golly, you’re right. never did think about it that way. I was a-countin and recountin my feet and never could quite make heads nor tails of it
me every morning, to my limbs: when are these colonies gonna rise up??
emotional labor: what it is and how to do it
this is a really great article about some really great articles. (read it!- but the takeaways I want to remember + refer to personally are in excerpts below.)
http://freethoughtblogs.com/brutereason/2015/07/27/emotional-labor-what-it-is-and-how-to-do-it/
# Partnered Life
* Am I checking in with my partner to see if they had a rough day? * If so, am I stepping up to make their life easier in other ways (cooking, cleaning, etc.)? * Am I open and clear about my wants, and not forcing my partner to guess/drag it out of me? * Am I contributing constructively to planning of meals, events, trips, etc? * Am I actively trying to make my presence feel safe for my partner? * Do I try to do nice things for my partner without being asked (flowers, treats, etc.)? * Do I take care of my own administrative life (paperwork, bills) without needing to be repeatedly reminded? * Am I supportive of my partner’s decisions, big and small? * Am I respectful and validating of my partner’s emotions? * Am I vocally grateful when my partner goes out of their way to do something nice for me? * Am I nice to my partner’s family [if that’s a thing they want]?
# Third Party Relationships (Familial & Otherwise)
* Do I remember to make phone calls and visits to people I care about and want to have relationships with? * Do I remember to send cards to people I care about? * Do I send thank you notes to people to acknowledge their emotional labor for me? * Am I actively sensitive to and supportive of people who are experiencing a difficult time (death of spouse/child/pet, etc.)?
WidgetAlley: “Huge one for me, especially in reference to mental illness or trauma or disorders: are you doing your own emotional work?This means asking for support and accommodation for your feelings and your illness if you need it, and negotiating with your partner about your needs, but also not making your problems theirproblems. If you have depression or past trauma, tell your partner– don’t make them guess. Ask them to make reasonable adjustments to their behavior and interactions if you can, or if you’re not sure what you need, just keep them in the loop as much as you can.And then, do your own work and get to a doctor, a therapist, or another appropriate person who can help you in a solid professional context. It’s reasonable and sane and wonderful to ask for support and love and reassurance, but don’t make fixing your own internal workings your partner’s problem any more than you can help it.”
wintersweet: “Do I pause to observe the context (my partner’s body language or current activity, what’s been happening today, etc.) before I involve my partner in something me-focused? (Whether that’s a request or a touch or whatever.)”
HotToddy: “How often am I saying knee-jerk defensive things like “I forgot,” “I’m trying,” “I’m doing my best,” “It’s not a big deal,” vs “Oops, shit, I’m sorry, let me [take independent action and come up with my own fucking idea for how I can finally make this change that you’ve repeatedly told me is important to you and that I’ve said I would do but still haven’t].”
The important thing is that there’s a balance….This isn’t a be-all end-all list, and different people’s situations have their own particular needs and restraints. I encourage you not to get too hung up on any particular item on the list, and instead focus on the concept itself.
I strongly suspect that the emotional labor imbalance underlies part of the problem men often say they have with forming and maintaining friendships with other men. When neither of them is able to rely on the other person to do the emotional labor, relationships fall apart. In friendships and relationships with women, men are able to trust that we’ll handle all that messy feelings stuff.
I also suspect that this underlies the fear and anger with which some men respond to women’s emotional unavailability. That’s not to excuse the manifestations that these emotions often take, but to explain them. I empathize with this, because it must be terrifying to feel like you can’t deal with your own stuff and the person you thought was going to help you is refusing to. It must be especially terrifying when you don’t even know where the feelings are coming from, when you can’t even tell yourself, Okay, this is scary because I’ve never had to do this for myself and now it’s time to learn how.
Emotional labor becomes bad when certain people are expected by default to be responsible for the bulk of it even though we’d rather be focusing on other things if given the choice. It becomes bad when it’s invisible, when it’s treated as an assumption rather than as something that the participants of a relationship intentionally discuss and negotiate together.
Remember that one way in which imbalances in emotional labor manifest themselves is that it always ends up being the job of the person who does the bulk of it to start these conversations and to let you know that they’re overwhelmed by the amount of emotional labor they have to do. End that cycle. Be the person who brings it up and ask your partner if this is okay for them. Remember that a lot of people who are doing the bulk of the emotional labor, especially women, might initially try to claim that it’s okay when deep down they feel that it isn’t. Leave room for them to change their minds as they feel more comfortable with you, and don’t pull the “But you said before that it was fine” thing.
I absolutely recognize that this work is not easy. If what I’ve described sounds exhausting and overwhelming and maaaybe you’ll just let your girlfriend/friend/etc deal with it instead, I get it. It is hard. But it would be a lot easier if that labor were distributed more fairly. Emotional labor isn’t a silly fluffy girl skill. It’s a life skill.
It’s hard, too, because most men have been intentionally deprived of the language and tools to even think about these sorts of issues, let alone work on them. That’s why so many men don’t even know what emotional labor is, and why they have no idea what to do when they feel really bad except find a woman and outsource the labor to her–often without even realizing why they’re doing what they’re doing. As I said before, this sounds absolutely terrifying and I do not envy men in this regard.
But you can’t get better at what you don’t practice. Start the tough conversations. Pause before speaking and intentionally observe your partner’s body language. Ask yourself, “What could I do to make life easier for her? What things is she doing to make life easier for me, without even being asked?” Spend some time listening to your own emotions and learning to name them before rushing to either unload them on someone else or drown them out with something that feels better.
I do not exaggerate one little bit when I say that if more and more men learn to do these things, we can change the world.
a reminder to myself: intersectionality exists, and as in every kind of labor, disabilities can affect a person’s ability to perform these things. if i can’t do some of these due to spoon issues that doesn’t immediately mean i am Bad.
Agreed. And as in every kind of labor, sometimes inability to perform a given task means a need for more training/education in how to do it, and sometimes it’s temporary and/or conditional, and sometimes it just requires some specialized arrangements to make it feasible, and sometimes it really does mean “literally cannot ever do this particular thing, should not be expected to.”
And even in that last case, there can always be workarounds. If someone literally cannot ever do a particular thing, there may be some other way to fill the need for that particular thing – or that particular thing can by arrangement become someone else’s job and the first someone can compensate by taking on something else. Or whatever arrangement works to everyone’s satisfaction.
As OP says, negotiation and discussion is key to making this kind of thing work so that everyone gets what they need and nobody is carrying too heavy a load.
id wreak mayhem for a really good scifi where sight was considered as exotic and numinous as telepathy by the protag species
#everybody else uses sonar or long whiskers and that thing with the sensing electrical impulses#meanwhile: humans can ‘see’ which is a thing which is like and yet unlike ordinary perception#it would also only ever come into play in the same frivolous ‘VULCAN STRENGTH’ sort of way as Spock’s extra attributes#for maximum effect vision would be faithfully written as 100% an asspull in the best way
what the fuck dude this is awesome i want this too now
Okay, but what about those deep sea fish that produce light at a wavelength that *only they can see.* Predators that can somehow sense you in a completely undectable and unfathomable manner to you; they might as well be psychic.
YES, EXACTLY–vision is SUCH an asspull?? Sometimes it’s “"dark”“ and we can’t see anything. And also we’re impaired for plot reasons! Sometimes ALIEN WEAPONRY or otherwise-innocuous ship components are ”“too bright”“ and we yell and try to hide, subject to some sort of obscure, tortuous imperative. The rest of the time we can UNERRINGLY tell when anyone is trying to play pranks on us, the names and emotional/physical status of EVERY SINGLE BEING IN THE ROOM (or, when outside civilized warrens, ”“line of sight”“)–and yes, of course, can’t forget about our nigh-mythical fighting arts revolving around insane dodging skills.
And SNIPING. And also, god, fuck–don’t forget about completely arbitrary “”””atmospheric disturbances””” (fog, smoke–the new “ionic interference”) ALSO plottasatically rendering our abilities moot.
Plus, some people have more powerful Vision than others, but some people have a very short effective range of Vision. However, humans have come up with devices that “change the angles of refraction” of the “light” so that the naturally impaired have their skills enhanced–but they can always be knocked off their faces or be broken.
Also some people are terrible at normal Vision work, but have excellent night vision and are skilled at working under adverse conditions.
Oooh, and human art is almost entirely Vision based. Think about non-seeing aliens trying to access the majority of human art!
IM!!! SCREAMING!!! GLASSES. Glasses are SUCH another great Weird Alien Gimmick. God–you get all used to your Human friend and their bizarre abilities, you just start to really trust in and rely on them in tight places and problem-solving a little bit, then you get fucken marooned on a fucken planetoid somewhere and they just in this very small little voice, after you have pulled them from the wreckage and sat down to go over your options, inform you that they’ve lost their glasses.
Oh my god and an episode where we’re up against Evil Humans and our heros turn to their humans like ‘you can see them, right, you can tell when they’re near? you can counter them?’ and our hero is genuinely shaken and worried— they’ve got high-tech military mechanical enhancers, the devices strapped to their heads let them see anywhere, they can operate in near-absolute ‘darkness’, they can operate in near-lethal ‘brightness’, they can see through walls— not doors, not glass, but walls.
Then we have a heroic scene where the crew’s human is the scrappy, desperate underdog for once instead of the cool and collected superbeing. It is super cool. The human and the captain probably mack wildly on one another in medbay after this. Roll credits.
Person 1: I dunno, dude. This ‘light’ stuff sounds like a bunch of mumbo jumbo to me. I mean, how do we know it’s even real?
Person 2: Seriously, how can something be a wave and a particle? That doesn’t even make sense.
Mysterious Human: Even if you cannot perceive the light, you can feel its warmth–
Person 1: Oh my god, please shut it with the mystical hoo-hah. You’re insufferable.
Mysterious, somewhat exasperated Human: the ‘light’ enters the sensitive paired apertures in our faces, passing through biological lenses and chambers to stimulate specific nerves we call ‘rods’ and ‘cones’. one set of nerves tells us the volume of light we’re perceiving, while the other estimates the wavelength frequency. the total input creates in our mind a continuous sonarscape of immense complexity, where we can perceive ‘textures’ that are impossible to understand with mere sound or touch. this is why my people’s communication devices are small, flat, silent boards: we ‘read’ the patterns of light they emit as language and ‘watch’ the patterns of light they emit as sonarscapes.
Captain: okay…. sounds fake, but okay…
And they just keep on making up new bullshit rules for how light works, like
Navigator: Warp drive engaged. We are approaching 90% of the Lorentz limit.
Human: What now?
Navigator: Oh, uh, it’s really complex, but lemme try. So, matter can only move so fast through space, right? Like absolutely, nothing can ever ever possibly go faster than like about 3 hundred million meters per second–
Human: Ah yes. The speed of light.
Navigator: …oh for fuck’s sake.
Captain: My god! Time! Has… frozen!
Human: Fuuuuuuuuck.
Captain: What?
Human: Remember how light is a wave and a particle?
Captain: Yes, we mention this every episode.
Human: Yeah, light’s frozen along with everything else. I can’t see shit.
Captain: My god! Our sonar doesn’t work either! The soundwaves— they can’t propagate through this frozen air! We’ll have to use just our whiskers!
Human: Fuuuuuuuuck.
The fanfiction for this show has to be amazing.
“Shh. Don’t try to hide your needs, Captain,” Hue Mann soothed. “My sight has told me all about your traumatic memories of the war.”
“What?” Captain gasped. “But…how…?”
“The light knows all,” explained Hue. “Time slows down at the speed of light. It sees all of the past..and all of the future.”
“And what is it telling you now?” questioned the Captain.
Hue leaned in close. “It tells me, ‘Mate with them now, you lovestruck fool!”
“Damn you, Hue Mann. Damn you and your penetrating ‘eyes.’”
“Oh,” breathed Hue, voice husky and sexual. “That’s not all my eyes can…penetrate.”
goddamn, you people amaze me.
I love the idea that the protag species has telepathy as ‘boring normal standard’ senses and they can’t understand why human thoughts seems so strange, fragmented, occasionally blank… until they realise that a great of human thought is ‘visual’ and so can’t be heard…
“Lori, what do your Human eyes see?”
“Coupla billboards, and it looks like it might rain.”
This keeps getting better
This is so cute. Your human crewmember is getting a crush on another human. Time to observe the humans’ weird yet endearing courtship rituals.
“Tell me all about them! What do you like about them?”
“Well, they have these amazing eyes…”
“Yeah? Better at the the wavemapping thing than yours?”
“…I don’t know how good their eyes are at seeing. They’re just this beautiful shade of brown.”
“Wait. You wavemap each other’s wavemapping organs? And have opinions about what nice frequencies they refract the waves at?”
“Yes? What’s so strange about this?”
“I thought your ‘vision’ was passive. Do you listen to each other’s ears too? And like the smell of each other’s noses?”
“Like you’ve never touched someone’s whiskers with your whiskers.”
“…That’s different.”