they’re chilling in the living room at their home in ottawa, each lying on a couch. ilya is making noise with his mouth “pspspspsps” and shane already annoyed asks “what the fuck are you doing?” and ilya replies “calling you, that’s how you call kitttens” and shane throws a pillow at him.
I have discovered the genius idea of using a screen reader to listen to HEATED RIVALRY fic while doing my chores or putting a puzzle together. There is seriously nothing like listening to Shane Hollander getting absolutely railed while I'm putting away laundry and sweeping the floors. It's what he would want. In my defense, I had to start doing this because the amount of absolutely incredible fic in this fandom is so insane that I can't keep up with it and definitely not because I have a fic addiction problem. I don't know what you mean. Anyway, here is a bunch of phenomenal fic that had me shriek-laughing and/or crying into my freshly washed clothes because the gay hockey show got me in the feelings place real hard.
HEATED RIVALRY - NO I WON’T BE CHILL ABOUT THE GAY HOCKEY PLAYERS SHOW:
Boston Boys by xpityx, ilya/shane & bears, NSFW, 58k wip
When the unsentimental financial imperative of the NHL sees Shane traded to the Boston Raiders, he and Ilya are thrown into closer extended proximity than ever before. As they adjust to life as teammates, they are forced to contend with the nature of their relationship -and must answer for themselves: is it even a relationship at all?
Phone call from a Boston jail by FlamesToDust, ilya/shane, NSFW, 16.4k
Shane gets himself into some unlikely trouble and needs to be bailed out of a Boston jail in the middle of the night. There's really only one person he can call, and it's the last person he wants to face... Set post-tuna melt in a universe where Rose doesn't happen.
high on hockey by goldengalaxies, ilya/shane & cast, 4.4k
Ilya Rozanov: Is true. You are so beautiful. I cannot believe you exist. So pretty. And I get to have you and love you and be your boyfriend- [Shane slams his hand over Ilya’s mouth, his expression panicked.] Shane Hollander: This interview is over! Cut the cameras, now! (the players at all-stars 2018 eat spiked brownies. cue a chaos + a hollanov reveal)
(Oh I believe in) Yesterday by queengoose, ilya/shane & wyatt/lisa & troy & centaurs, 9.4k
Time loops are just a fact of life to Wyatt, insane as that sounds. He’ll happily settle in for a repeat day every couple of weeks. Chances are he’ll wake up tomorrow morning and go to regularly scheduled practice. A teammate probably pissed off their wife, which is an easily fixed problem. Or, the Wyatt-Hayes-centric-time-loop-Boxing-Day-fight-fix-it-fic
biphasic by PenAndInkPrincess, ilya/shane, nsfw, 25.1k
“I’m sorry,” he says, turning heel and resisting the urge to just book it right for the front door only because he’d rather not have to explain to Hayden why he returned from a hookup with Boston Lily in men’s clothes that he certainly didn’t leave in. It’s not until he makes it halfway up the stairs to Rozanov’s bedroom that it occurs to him in a cold rush that it isn’t just anxiety that makes it this hard to breathe. “No,” he tells himself firmly, white knuckling the bannister and trying to take a deep breath just to prove that he can. It wheezes. (how the tuna meltdown is averted through the power of food allergies and anaphylaxis)
Busted by AC91, ilya/shane & hayden & j.j., NSFW, 13.2k
Hayden just wanted to surprise Shane with a guy’s night in. Shane had been flat lately, and he and JJ thought it would be nice to distract him with friendship. How they ended up stuck in a fucking closet watching Shane get dicked down harder than anyone in the history of the world has ever been dicked down, Hayden would never quite understand.
Influential by 409_conflict, ilya/shane & david/yuna, 13.9k
The problem is, no one knows how to market Ilya Rozanov's (in his own words) sexy Euro masculinity to an audience of white straight men. He needs the best. And if it happens to be his secret lover’s mother who despises his very existence, so be it.
Crushed by CoffeeDragon87, ilya/shane & troy/harris, 2.4k
Harris needs Shane Hollander to crush a watermelon with his thighs. For charity. OR "Is charity watermelon. Has rules."
One True Love by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle, ilya/shane & troy/harris & centaurs, 23.8k wip
In which Troy doesn’t immediately post Harris on his socials after coming out, and Ilya is inspired to come out shortly after. The result? An unfortunate misunderstanding, which leaves everyone thinking Baranov is the cutest couple in hockey. Everyone other than Shane and Harris that is.
Centerfold by FlameHazel18, ilya/shane & david/yuna, 4.8k
"I knew it!" Ilya crows much too loudly, smacking Shane in the chest with the magazine. "Shane Hollander, did you buy this to jerk off to?!" Or: Ilya is tasked with helping Shane clean out his childhood bedroom. He is totally, completely, extremely normal about this.
Montreal Metros Go Broke For Woke by 409_conflict, ilya/shane & voyageurs & bears, 16.7k
They may not have any idea how to do it, but there’s no way in hell the Montreal Metros are going to risk losing their Captain to a more accepting team. Full of determination, grit, open hearts, and absolutely no savvy, this team is going to learn how to be allies, come hell or high water.
Barbe-Q&A by prailock, ilya/shane & centaurs, nsfw, 7.7k
In their first summer after being outed, Shane finally accepts that invite to Bood's backyard barbecue. It could have been a relaxing night. But Ilya's brought vodka. And the Centaurs brought questions. Might as well rip off the band aid before he signs with Ottawa. Or How many shots is it worth to know what your Captain likes in bed?
multitasking by spelling__bee, ilya/shane & cast, NSFW, 7.3k
I am in hell, Ilya thinks. He's awkwardly hard in his cup and layers of gear. He can't focus. How the fuck is Hollander functioning like this? Is he actually so gifted at hockey that he can play at this level and still have space to let the sex demon in his brain run rampant? Is this what he's like all the time?
Eye of the Storm by Lily_wing, ilya/shane & david/yuna, NSFW, 20.9k wip
When Montreal is hit by a bad storm on the night of their game, Ilya thinks Shane might let him stay the night. What neither of them knows is that Shane's parents, also caught in the storm, have had the same idea.
the top 1% (of lovers) by Anonymous, ilya/shane, NSFW, 3.5k
He and Shane are in bed together, Ilya’s lips attached to Shane’s neck as they lazily grind against each other, when Shane says, “So you’ve slept with like eight hundred women.” Immediately, Ilya stops. He releases Shane’s neck—even though it makes Shane whine unhappily—and pulls back so he can meet Shane’s eyes. “What?” “You’ve slept with eight hundred women,” Shane says. He’s a bit pink in the cheeks, but that might just be the arousal. “I did the math."
macro by PenAndInkPrincess, ilya/shane, 19.4k
(shane has a habit of sending his team's dietician his meals for approval) (the problem with this habit? he forgets to tell ilya exactly what it is that melissa does) (how the tuna meltdown is AVERTED through the power of miscommunication)
I'm Reading Your Lips (You're Speaking My Language) by some1_around, ilya/shane & david/yuna & svetlana & hayden, nsfw, 30.4k
Despite an inauspicious start, when Russia’s Ilya Rozanov learns that Canada’s Shane Hollander is fluent in Russian at their first World Junior Championships tournament, it changes everything and sets them on a different course. Instead of being branded as rivals from the very beginning, Ilya and Shane start off as friends. And, after all, a little friendly rivalry never hurt anyone, did it?
Two-Four-Eight-One-Oh-Eight (Ilya Hollander. Shane Rozanov.) by persimmonysnicket, ilya/shane & david/yuna & cliff, 4.8k
“He’s not sleeping.” Shane flares his nostrils—another gesture Yuna hasn’t seen in so many years. “He’s waiting for me to call a third time. Mom. Please. He’s—he’ll be so worried.” Yuna shifts her thumb and lets it drop. Is Yuna a bad mother if she hopes "Lily" doesn’t pick up?
quick, he needs more hockey! by SafelyCapricious, ilya/shane & scott/kip & carter, 10.5k
Kip sometimes teases Scott for how he prefers to stay off social media. But after some of the responses to his very public coming out, it's a survival mechanism more than not caring. Even Kip is less connected online than he used to be. So the first sign Scott has that something had happened is when his coach catches him after practice — he stayed late to help two of the rookies — and tells him that management wants to talk to him as soon as possible. Shane Hollander has been traded to the Admirals.
Boston's Shining Star by whenpigssoar, ilya/shane, 13.6k
Ilya Rozanov has decade-long beef with Boston’s other star athlete. Told in vignettes.
MORE RECS UNDER THE CUT because I have more to yell about and shove at you all in an attempt to make you drown like I'm drowning. I'm good at sharing like that.
in between a thousand and one kisses by elumish, ilya/shane & centaurs, 1.7k
Yes, Shane is like the sun come down to earth, but for hockey. Yes, he married Ilya. Thank you for noticing.
Shoe box by EtoileGarden, ilya/shane & svetlana, 12.2k
He hadn’t meant to keep them. To make it a collection. But the shoe box shoved under his bed, (next to the shoebox full of family and hockey photos, and another box of random memorabilia from his childhood,) had been getting heavier and heavier.
Shane Hollander’s Gay Sex TedTalk for Hayden Pike by isto4u, ilya/shane & hayden, nsfw, 3.8k
Shane and Hayden get drunk together and Shane lets Hayden ask all the nasty questions he’s always had about gay sex.
what happens in vegas by kryptonian, ilya/shane, NSFW, omegaverse, 7.1k
“You are in heat at award show? Why would you hide this? Why would you not call out sick? Are you—are you insane? You care this much about trophy?”
Bet On It by Airuna, ilya/shane & hayden & voyageurs & bears, 7.8k wip
JayJason @Youdon’tknowme ‘Losing a bet’ would have let them get away with so much, though… Like why are you at your rival's game? I lost a bet. Why are you wearing your rival's jersey? I lost a bet. Why are you hanging out together? I lost a bet. Why are you making him breakfast in bed? I lost a bet.
Ilya's Weird and Wonderful (Canadian) Playlist by WatermelonTuesdays, ilya/shane & ryan/fabian & david & wyatt & troy/harris & dykstra & cast, 10.5k
A 6 + 1 with six of Ilya's experiences with Canadian music, and one experience with Russian music. Featuring a LOT of Canada-isms.
animal by makemegentle, ilya/shane & cast, nsfw, suicidal ideation/themes, 3k
On the way home from dropping Sveta off at the airport, Ilya thinks about killing himself.
A League of His Own by Promised_ivy, ilya/shane (& background shane/other & ilya/other) & nhl cast, 11.1k
Shane Hollander comes out as gay after a video of him talking to Rose Landry is leaked the week before he has to go to All-Stars 2017. Shane is not going to let a bunch of homophobes scare him. Although, as Ilya Rozanov is starting to figure out, they might not be as homophobic as they all seem...
the proposal by UglyGreenJacket, ilya/shane & cast, 5.9k
Ilya: I think Shane is going to break up with me. Bood: I’m sorry…what? Hayes: You think Shane Hollander is going to break up with you? Hayes: Shane Hollander. Hayes: The Shane Hollander who learned Russian for you? Bood: The Shane Hollander who drives back and forth from Montreal any chance he gets to see you?
boring? never heard of it by noisehues, ilya/shane, NSFW, 3.5k
Shane shouldn't care about what the Centaurs have to say about sex life years into marriage. They say it's normal for it to get boring, and he can't help but disagree with how far from the truth that statement is. Until he sees Ilya laughing with Haas about it. That's when he starts to spiral. or: Shane thinks Ilya finds their sex life boring. Ilya thinks he's insane. They fuck about it.
toss and turn without me, boy by sterica, ilya/shane, nsfw, 4.2k
Shane and Ilya start sleeping over. It still takes them years to figure everything out. Or, 5 times Shane & Ilya have illicit sleepovers and 1 time they realise they can have nights like this for the rest of their lives.
"Why did I say that?" and other unhelpful 3AM ponderings by aimee_s, ilya/shane & scott/kip & carter, 1.2k
"I’d show up for any dude who’s that brave." Carter Vaughn has never said anything homophobic in regards to Shane Hollander. He even sent him a message of support after him and his now-husband got outed. Knowing that doesn't really help right now, though.
Antipathy by AC91, ilya/shane & david/yuna, 9.7k
Yuna can’t help it. There’s just something about Ilya Rozanov that rubs her the wrong way.
Yuna Hollander Figures It Out by beautifulduckweed, ilya/shane & yuna, nsfw, 2.1k
Yuna is waiting for her son to finally come out and tell the truth: that he's in love with his teammate and best friend of the last eight years, Hayden Pike.
Frottage at the Cottage by dntat, ilya/shane & wyatt & hayden/jackie & david/yuna, NSFW, 17.1k
5 times Ilya tries to fuck his husband, and 1 time he actually does.
Little Brother by fandom_commitment_issues, ilya(/shane) & alexei, 4.3k
Leaving after his father's funeral is the last time Ilya plans to be in Moscow. Alexei comes to say goodbye.
#OneGoalDoesNotBuiltACareer by Airuna, ilya/shane & hayden & troy/harris & bears & centaurs, 9.8k
But Ilya’s not here. And Shane is bored. Or. Shane spends a post game interview explaining that his husband is the best captain in the league and accidentally starts a hashtag.
on tuna melts and first names by UglyGreenJacket, ilya/shane & centaurs, 2.8k
“Today,” he says loudly. “Today, I will tell you about the time Shane got jealous because Tro–” “NO, Ilya,” Shane interrupts him, and Ilya greatly enjoys watching Troy’s head snap towards Shane, who glows like a freshly picked tomato. And that’s fine, really. Being Shane Hollander’s husband means he has so much material to work with. “Okay, well, what about the time you bought us a sex building?” he asks, and barely gets the sentence out before Zane Boodram makes a loud exclamation.
Breaking News: Your Mutual Is Ilya Rozanov by thingcalledlove, ilya/shane & harris, 1.4k
Ilya sends out a tweet...from the wrong account.
afraid, yes, but by spelling__bee, ilya/shane & david/yuna & irina & svetlana & galina, NSFW, suicidal ideation/themes, 14k
This was what tended to scare Shane the most, when Ilya was unwell: the gradual loss of him, despite being physically there. He would go quiet, blank, slow to speak and slow to respond, nothing like the pulse of intense energy and liveliness that sparked in him at his baseline. Shane missed him, when he was away in that place. It was not a place Ilya could always describe, and it was not somewhere Shane could rescue him from, or even join him in for company. So Shane waited, every time, for him to come back. He always came back. That was the only relief in it.
the tricks out of our sleeves by outherenow, ilya/shane & scott/kip & cliff & bears, NSFW, 54.8k wip
“Is Boston even interested.” Ilya scoffs at him like Shane is an idiot. “Is sky blue? Is water wet? Is English stupid language? Yes, Hollander, of course we want best player in the league.” Ilya mutters more in disgruntled Russian and Shane gets up off the couch to Google Russian lessons on his ipad while continuing their conversation. Or, a Shane goes to Boston story.
Centaur of Attention by MeesterHollander, ilya/shane & hayden & cast, 10.6k
The missing scene before TLG where Ilya gets traded to Ottawa, and Hayden starts to get suspicious. Set before "Dinner with Hayden"
lost in translation by constellaetions, ilya/shane & hayden & anya & cast, NSFW, 19.2k wip
Ilya Rozanov has a gift. He can speak to animals, which has earned him an incredibly successful career as a pet psychic, and far too much information about what people do when they think their pets aren’t watching. Shane Hollander has a problem. His cat, Pork, is permanently miserable. After exhausting every sensible option, Shane turns to the supernatural for assistance. After their first appointment, Pork grows visibly happier - his cat’s found a hobby and renewed sense of purpose for achieving his only goal: to destroy Ilya for good.
Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Idea by niinis, ilya/shane, nsfw, 5.6k
“Just stick your dick in. Make it fit. Can you do that?”
Access by AC91, ilya/shane & hayden/jackie & david/yuna & j.j., nsfw, 7.8k
Shane makes some changes to protect his privacy. People notice. *5+1 of Shane establishing his boundaries. AU where Shane and Ilya were never caught at the cottage.
Troy Barrett vs The Babies by hollanddays, troy/harris & ilya/shane & ryan/fabian & scott/kip, omegaverse, 15.8k
Five times Troy (unwillingly) held someone else's baby, and the one time he held his own. or: please don't let Troy Barrett hold your baby.
Shane and Ilya are those people who watch the Olympics especially the summer Olympics and think they would be good at every sport. So in 2024 Harris makes them do a YouTube series trying out different summer sports (the one least likely to injure the teams star players, no way they are getting on a horse) expecting it be funny to see professional athletes struggle at a sport. Only it doesn’t work out that way. Every single sport Harris has Ilya and Shane try they are surprisingly good at. Not like they could switch right now and compete at the top, but a definite feel that if only they had played that sport when they were young then they could be at the Olympics. Harris posts the videos anyway, because it’s summer so it’s nice to have some Hollanov content. The internet loves it and there are tons requests for the rest of the Centaurs to try the same sports.
canon is what happens in the text. e.g. merlin tries to poison morgana
a headcanon is a fact that you have personally made up as an elaboration of canon. it is your invention. e.g. i think morgana and gwen had a teenage lesbian situationship before the events of canon. or, i think modern morgana would love evanesence.
an interpretation is how one reads the existing text. it is not an invented fact nor is it a headcanon, it is a reading. e.g. i think merlin tries to poison morgana out of misplaced self-hatred. or, i think that one line was delivered with suppressed malice and shows a nuanced relationship.
fanon is the general fandom’s accepted headcanons and interpretations that elaborate or recontextualize canon. e.g. merlin is a badass waif and morgana is a bitch.
these are all different words with different meanings.
Way down the line, when they're leading Ottawa to another Stanley Cup, Ilya gets slammed too too hard by some eager new player. He's knocked unconscious and Shane practically flies from the box to the ice, watching as the EMTs intervene and carry him out on a stretcher.
Yuna goes in the ambulance with Ilya — Shane can't get out of his skates fast enough to run over in time, so he drives a few minutes behind them — and she calls Shane to keep him updated. It's fine, it's all fine, Ilya is already semi conscious and talking to them both. Shane's mind goes to all of the worst places anyway.
They lose service when they get in the elevator, but Yuna still sends out a text message with the room number. Shane speeds faster and then bolts through the hospital.
When he finally sees Ilya, minutes later, already in a blue hospital gown and connected to an IV but conscious and beaming up at him, Shane breaks into tears.
"Don't cry, solnyshko," Ilya says. "Come here," he holds out the hand that's free from the needles and Shane takes it.
"I have something important to ask you," Ilya tells him. It suddenly feels so serious. Shane's heart drops.
"Will you come to my cottage this summer?" Ilya says in a sing-songy voice, using his best Canadian accent. "Don't go to Russia. Come to my house, we'll have so much fun..."
Female characters who are the sole voice of reason <<<<<<< Female characters who think of themselves as the sole voice of reason but who are actually just as insane as those around them
