Leo at a nightclub, 1998
One Nice Bug Per Day
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if i look back, i am lost
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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Sweet Seals For You, Always

JBB: An Artblog!

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Janaina Medeiros
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we're not kids anymore.
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@goldfish855
Leo at a nightclub, 1998
☀️
the virgin Joseph, the chad God, and the Stacy Mary
I hope he wins the lawsuit, a police officer was finally doing the right thing and they penalize him for not being a racist monster!
his name is stephen mader and not only did he refuse to shoot, he actively wanted to help the man (ronald ‘rj’ williams) because he could tell that he was only acting out because of mental illness. rj williams was suicidal and holding an unloaded gun and, while mader didn’t shoot him, a fellow officer (ryan kuzma) did and murdered him on the spot. here is the source and here’s to hoping rj williams gets justice
“Saying the words ‘Just shoot me’ sent up the red flag that he was just trying to harm himself and no one else … That’s what made me make my decision. He needed help” I hate this fucking world. The guy was actually trying to do his job by actually desculating the situation the right way (desculating these days apparently just means shoot them) and was fired for “failing to eliminate a threat.”
Dr. Joy DeGruy: Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome
She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters. She even baked replicas of her own twin daughters.
Tampons are a “luxury item”
Once I worked as an intern in the state capital. One of the representatives I worked for was this middle-aged guy. And he hated the tampon and napkin machines in the women’s bathrooms. Hated them. He insisted that they weren’t necessary.
I found out why after I’d been working there, oh, about a month. My period started suddenly, as it sometimes does, and I asked to excuse myself to go to the ladies’ room. He wanted to know why. I told him.
He started ranting about how lazy women were. How we wasted time. How we were so careless and unhygenic, and that there was no call for that. He finished by telling me that I certainly was NOT going to the ladies’ room and that I was just going to sit there and work. He finished this off with a decisive nod, as if I’d just been told and there could be no possible argument.
“If I don’t go,” I said in an overly patient tone, “the blood is going to soak through my pants, stain my new skirt that I just bought, and possibly get on this chair I’m sitting in. I need something to soak up the blood. That’s why I need to go to the bathroom.”
His face turned oatmeal-gray; an expression of pure horror spread across his face. He leaned forward and whispered, “Wait, you mean that if you don’t go, you’ll just keep on bleeding? I thought that women could turn it off any time that they wanted!”
I thought, You have got to be kidding.
Several horrified whispers later, I learned that he wasn’t. He actually thought a) that women could shut down the menstrual cycle at will, b) that we essentially picked a week per month to spend more time in the bathroom, i.e. to goof off, and c) that napkins and tampons were sex toys paid for by Health and Human Services. I didn’t know the term then, but he believed that tampons were dildos. Which was why he and a good number of his friends considered them luxuries.
And that’s how, at twenty, I had to give a talk on menstruation to a middle-aged married state representative who was one of my bosses. American politics, ladies and gentlemen.
That’s.., that’s insane.
what the fuck did i just read
Say what?
as funny as people think the whole “kink shaming” thing is, what we define as kink shaming is often just people oversimplifying an issue, promoting their own savior complex, & erasing the stories of survivors tbh
not all kink is helpful for survivors obviously, a lot of it wasn’t helpful for me (though some was and is), but that doesn’t mean you get to just parade all over the fuckin place with your ridiculous (horribly cisnormative and heteronormative, by the way) reductive statements about kink, BDSM, etc.
and if you talk down to grown women who use it as a healing tactic and try to tell them that their boyfriends are abusers, you’re being a piece of shit who is a) defining an entire relationship that you are removed from, b) erasing her sexual agency, c) erasing her experiences, and d) being an entitled jerk-off who thinks that reading some radfem theory makes you an expert on the fuckin world
i’m all for being kink critical–it’s what i’m all about. but i'm not here for people who just want to be cisnormative & heteronormative because it makes them feel good about themselves
So these pro kink-shaming blogs I’ve seen so many people reblog lately really bother me. Like I agree that people need to examine and look at sexuality and that it can be tied into harmful socialization. I also agree that the kink community really needs to takes steps to address abuse and oppression within it. The problem is that so many of these blogs take away power from survivors by claiming that if you engage in a certain type of activity that it is always harmful and abusive. As someone who was abused this really pisses me off because you are comparing the shit I went through and endured to someone who engages in consensual activity?
This bothers me on a fundamental level because there are survivors on my dash (who articulate this way better than I do) who have reclaimed their bodies and sexuality and who enjoy kink, and to say no that they are still being abused and they can’t feel empowered or happy in the relationships they are in because they involve kink is one again removing agency from survivors and victims of abuse. Your engaging in the same freaking narrative that society spews over and over again where someone who is abused can’t know whats good form themselves and needs to be directed by others for their own good. That’s not a radical new thing its the same old shit we hear over and over again just wrapped up with a fancy new bow.
Criticize the kink community, there is a lot the needs criticism. Encourage people to examine their sexuality and to understand that sexuality is not magically protected from being affected by socialization or criticism. But at the same time understand that there is not one narrative of sexuality and survivors. Understand that what may be harmful to one person is not to another, that people have should search and examined and found that things which may not be good for you are helpful to them. And let use have our own narratives instead of trying to dictate how we heal and what healing looks like to us.
Kink critical people...
Y'all need to explain to me how you can rationalize saying kink based relationships are abusive and then go on and treat many of the people in them like you do. This is one of my biggest problems with many of the kink critical stuff I’ve seen, people will explain how kink is abusive and how it encourages and replicates societal patterns of abuse and I can get that but then one paragraph down y'all call people who engage in kink sick or twisted or ill. The last thing you would ever do to an abuse survivor is shame them like that, you would never tell someone who has been abused that because they don’t want to leave, or they say it’s okay, or they justify their abusers actions that they are sick or twisted. Like I’m not even going to go into detail on how ableist it is to equate something with abuse and then say whoever likes or participates in it is mentally ill because y'all wanna talk about the abuse society perpetuates and normalizes based on stereotypes go look up the rate of violence against people with mental illness.
All of It skeeves me the fuck out as an abuse survivor because it makes all my alarm bells ring. It makes me feel like you are using my life as a platform to prove your point without giving a fuck about me. It also skeeves me out because that kind of “I’m trying to help you it’s for your own good and if you don’t immediately agree with me your a sick freak” type stuff is exactly the thing many abusers including mine use to get victims to do what they want. Y'all are pretty much using the script that abusers do and it’s really shitty because instead of actually being able to look and think many people who have been through that will just react how they have been conditioned to, with automatic agreement, and that’s really fucked up.
Theres straight up Cognative Behavioral theraputic benefits that can come from using kink to lessen the trauma imprint of certain survivors. Maybe some of y'all can talk and think your way through your past abuses, but I was able to use the kink community to finally engage with my sexuality and help heal.
These kink shaming radfems choose to negate the lived experience of hundreds of thousands of women and are more abusive than any Dom or Sub I've ever met. Disagree with them and try to engage based in your own narrative and they literally tell you to fuck off and kill yourself.
...to think your approach and argument is anything but internet trolling is hilarious.
Anti kinksters: We care about rape victims!
Also anti kinksters: *calls everything they don’t like rape, watering down the meaning and impact of the word until it means nothing*
Another thing I saw that annoyed me was anti-kink people declaring that cause kink involved pain that it was automatically unhealthy.
First not all kinks involve pain, there is a whole hell of a lot out there that doesn’t involve pain but is very much kinky.
Second even if kink does involve pain so does a hell of a lot of other stuff that I don’t see anyone campaigning against. Like marathons and most other sports, ballet, playing guitar before you get the right callouses, and hell if you’re me breathing to deeply can lead to pain.
Third people are allowed to do stupid and unhealthy things. Its their right to do what they want with their body.
everyone with fucking sense: hey plz legalize maryjuana and release the black people who are jailed over it
capitalistic hellscape: mmmmnooo kant dew that fdskhkjfh
everyone with fucking sense: uh why the fuck not?
capitalistic hellscape: hhrnnngngghhhh uhmmmm …. THE DOGS NEED JOBS CANT TAEK AWAY DOG JAWBS HecKin PUppER needS WeRK
Hey……..bdsm sucks. No amount of “aftercare” makes beating someone ever ok
The worst part about the concept of “aftercare” is that it implies that caring is something special you get after you let your partner abuse you. I want to scream at every BDSM practitioner that caring and tenderness is the absolute minimum. Affection and gentleness is what happens in a normal relationship. Abuse is not. And no amount of aftercare will ever make up for the abuse suffered by subs.
This aftercare bullshit is just so men can escape accountability, just like being all lovey after abusing a woman. Wow…they’re so similar? Makes you think.
When trauma has informed your brain to process all affection and sexual touch as violence there needs to be some cognative behavioral approaches to figure out the rules of engagement circumstance has created. This ignorantly assumes so many things and is condescending as fuck. I can flog my sub and kiss and hug him throughout the whole thing, and playing with that range of emotion and experience does not make me an abuser. Or our play abusive.
But please, continue to generalize and delegitamize the lived experience of fucking thousands of individuals trying to understand themselves and connect.
“Jet Boy, Jet Girl”: punk couple making out at The Vortex, London, in 1977, as captured by Karen Knorr & Olivier Richon, from their series “Punks!”.
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