all you new fandom members need to QUIET DOWN oh my god you're going to get us KILLED. we're happy to have you but if you keep talking about BULLSHIT like PUBLISHING fanfic for MONEY, Anne Rice is going to come back from the dead to KILL US. looking at YOU, maurauders fans, heated rivalry fans, byler fans...out here giving out interviews to news channels SHUT UP. we're going to have to start setting off firecrackers to keep the rent down.
I am pleased by people messaging me telling me that after adding a carb or protein to their snacks or meals they feel more satisfied all day. Yes, my plan is working. People are getting through their days with less hangry.
pop health science is so annoying bc it'll be like "did you know? eating strawberries will give you mega cancer" and you're like pfft whatever begone influencer. but sometimes then you'll see a reasonably credible article like "Study Shows Possible Link Between Strawberries and Mega Cancer" and you're not usually the type to follow that kind of thing religiously but idk maybe you should consider not eating strawberries? but then there's another article saying "Strawberry/Mega Cancer Study Debunked" and it turns out the original study had a sample size of 3 and was funded by Big Blueberry, and strawberries may have a small connection to mega cancer but only if you are genetically predisposed to mega cancer and eat 50 strawberries every day. so you return to your strawberry eating life. but whenever you eat strawberries in public someone tells you about the mega cancer.
I really just have to summarize Thomas's entire life:
He was in a committed relationship with a male swan named Henry for 18-24 years before a female swan named Henrietta showed up and mated with Henry.
Thomas was initially jealous of the pair and attacked them, breaking 2 of the 5 eggs Henrietta had laid. However, once the remaining eggs hatched, Thomas warmed up to them and helped raise them.
Henry couldn't fly because of an injured wing, so Thomas taught the cygnets how to fly.
When they needed to reduce the goose population in the pond where Thomas and the swans lived, they dyed Thomas's feathers red so he wouldn't be separated from Henry.
Henry, Henrietta, and Thomas remained in their happy throuple for years and raised 68 cygnets before Henry died in 2009. After Henry's death, Henrietta found another swan and flew away, leaving Thomas alone.
Thomas finally met and mated with a female goose in 2011 and had his own babies. However, another goose named George stole them and raised them himself.
As Thomas grew elderly and blind, he was relocated to a wildlife center where he raised orphaned cygnets.
His caretaker at the center described him as "pretty high maintenance."
Thomas died in 2018 at the age of around 40. He had a funeral that included a small coffin and a procession that was led by a bagpiper. He was buried under the stone where Henry was buried, the two finally reunited in death.
Before and after his death, Thomas has been celebrated as an icon of the LGBTQ+ community for obvious reasons.
So the thing is boobs really do be jiggling. If having breasts has taught me anything it is that the ladies frolic. I don't even have that large of boobs but every time I go down some stairs all I can think about is that stupid quote about boobing breastily down the stairs or whatever it is because God Damn.
But anime and video game boob jiggling is like. The most uncanny valley shit I've ever seen nine times out of ten. You would think people this horny about tits would have actually looked at some but I guess not.
What we really need is some pervert to compile the ultimate visual guide to boob bouncing physics that's just like 500 hours of meticulously organized videos of breasts of different size and shape and under different fabrics bouncing around from a wide variety of physical movements so horny game devs can finally get it right and I don't have to be creeped out by women who appear to have surgically implanted softballs in their chest under skin made of rubber bands.
Because I feel like kids of color don’t hear it enough: domestic abuse is not a part of your culture.
A lot of us were raised with the idea that “its normal for wives/children to get hit! it helps them learn– only white folk don’t get beaten when they misbehave”. That’s not true, white people aren’t the only ones who deserve a safe and abuse free environment. Black and brown people can and do have loving families.
If you’re in a situation where you are enduring abuse and people use your culture to justify it, I want you to know that what they’re telling you are lies.
as someone who studies this: statistically speaking, child abuse (including “spanking”, because all forms of hitting children are abusive) is pretty much equally prevalent in households of all racial, ethnic, and cultural backgrounds. so yeah, don’t let people use the “culture” excuse on you, but also, don’t believe others are experiencing it less just because it’s less normalized in their culture to talk about it. we all gotta work together to fix this shit.
All the black & latino ppl who joked about Miles Morales saying “Whatever” to his parents, saying that he should “know he cant get away with that like white kids can” and “lmao did he forget that he’s black/has a latina mom???”
You aren’t better behaved because your parents beat you. “Knowing your place” did not make you more dignified than white children, you were being needlessly abused.
It's all a misunderstanding, my love. I wished to serve the god of the dark wood like the rest. Forgive me. My hands are much older than the rest of me. Forgive me.
the concept of the most dominant intl football team in sports atm getting taken into extra time by a 40 yr old and someone that got recruited thru LINKEDIN
“Why don’t you use ai” idk man beyond the obvious environmental and “this machine causes psychosis and encourages people to kill themselves” thing I think asking the equivalent of a solid D student who is also a pathological liar if they can answer my question/do the work for me seems pretty fucking stupid
I know this is a jokey post (rip OPs notes) but a fursona is typically an animal REPRESENTATION of YOURSELF, not an external animal that is strongly meaningful to you and your life/journey.
I've seen daemon and familiar proposed, but to keep in line with the cursedness of the original post, may I suggest: spiritual tamagotchi
I'm going to put my thoughts regarding the S3 Good Omens finale behind a cut. This is just me turning over my thoughts.
However, I believe in not yucking someone else's yum, so if you didn't enjoy the finale and have strong feelings about it, this probably isn't the post for you.
I was late to watching it because of work commitments, but I sat down on discord with some friends, some who had seen it, some who had not. I had not gotten spoiled, but I had seen mixed reviews.
I knew the following things: that Terry always said it would end in the South Downs, that MSheen said that the ending would be controversial, and that fandom was deeply divided on the end of season 2. I also knew that the pacing was likely to be horrible since we went from six episodes to 90 minutes, but on that front I was actually impressed.
I am someone who loves imperfect stories with imperfect endings. I think messy stories are so very human, and despite our main characters being immortal, I have never forgotten that Good Omens is about humanity.
You see, in the book, Crowley and Aziraphale were bystanders. The story itself was about humanity. Their love was less for each other and more for all the funny little inventions humans created over time. In fact, I remember diehard fans being upset that Season 1 of Good Omens focused so much more on Crowley and Aziraphale than the actual ongoings of Armageddon like in the source material.
That is not to say that I didn't love Crowley and Aziraphale in the show. I would not have dedicated years of writing about my blorbos if I didn't. I just think the decision they make at the end is entirely on brand for them and really brings it back to what the story is about -- humanity and free will. I honestly could not think of a more Pratchett ending.
I want to talk about Aziraphale first and the things I both loved and hated: Aziraphale never apologizing. Aziraphale in general. God, his behavior pissed me off but was so entirely on brand. "I'm willing to overlook that," and "I need you to forgive me." Never acknowledging the hurt Crowley felt head on. Aziraphale has always been constipated about his feelings, and the way he approached it all was hamfisted and exactly as I would expect. I think we would have seen more groveling and even a proper conversation if we were given 6 episodes, but none of this felt out of character for him. And then he did show his love for Crowley when it mattered most by letting Crowley choose.
I loved God telling him he was messy, that he was lazy and gluttonous and prideful, and I loved that Aziraphale said it was true, but it did not negate that he wanted what was best for humanity. And I don't think God ever meant this in a scolding way. They were more amused than anything, I think, but it highlights Aziraphale as an imperfect being with good intentions. If an angel can be these things and also still be good, doesn't that bode well for the rest of us?
I also love that Aziraphale does not get his wish in the end. How many times have we seen Crowley give in to Aziraphale? Removing the stain from his jacket, the West End magic show, saving his books, helping Aziraphale stop the Second Coming even though he was heartbroken. Aziraphale bullies and cajoles Crowley into a lot of things, but when Crowley says he wants to free humanity and actually grant people free will, Aziraphale doesn't argue at all. He let Crowley lead when it mattered.
I also love that what Aziraphale wants is not the selfless thing. Aziraphale is inherently a selfish being. He wants Crowley. But he's willing to overlook that (sorry, will not let that one go).
And Crowley wants him back, but he also wants something so much bigger.
Hooo, where do I begin with Crowley? Crowley has always been a rebel and a loner, neither part of Hell or Heaven. We see him questioning God when he finds out about the plans to destroy humanity all the way back at the beginning of the unvierse. We see him fighting for Satan's side after the last battle, still in Heaven, still with his regular eyes, still not fallen. Even then, he was against the angels but not with the demons.
We see him enacting out God and Satan's bet with Job while manipulating the situation (the goats, the children). I think he would have done all those things regardless of if Aziraphale showed up. Had Aziraphale said no to raising Warlock and stopping Armageddon the first time, I still think Crowley would have gone off and tried it anyway alone. The book describes him as an eternal optimist. Aziraphale provided him company and made his life less lonely, but Crowley has always marched to his own beat.
It is entirely believable to me then that when Aziraphale says, "There's only one thing I want (you)," Crowley says he wants to dismantle the system. He's an anarchist, and I am all for it. Crowley is the most fair of all the characters in Good Omens. He has the strongest moral code that never waivers throughout the series. He loves Aziraphale so much, but he's seen the end of the universe and realizes it will never be enough until humans are given a fair go of it. I would have been massively disappointed if Crowley had not put humanity first.
And then there's Asa and Anthony. I do believe there could have been an ending that allowed humanity and Crowley and Aziraphale to exist. That said, I still loved what we were given. I could not fucking stop grinning the entire time I watched the ending. Then I read some discourse and thought maybe I would change my mind on a second watch, but by the time I got to the ending once more, I was mush all over again.
Was it cheesy? Yeah. Was a bookshop AU a bit fanservicey? Absolutely. Did I still love it? 100% despite those things. It was wonderful to see Crowley without all the baggage. It was wonderful seeing them dressed like Book!Omens sitting under Terry Pratchett's portrait. It was wonderful hearing Asa talk about his mother without the trauma and fear.
And then removing Good Omens from it entirely, it was just nice to see a meet-cute between two mdidle-aged men in an absolutely normal way. They were just two people having a flirt in the middle of the road without any fear or shame. I watched it and felt relief. It was so healing for me.
I love stories about people growing old together, living a mundane life. I've imagined it in my head. Maybe Asa was socially awkward, had a few boyfriends but nothing ever lasted. He had just settled into the idea of being a bachelor for the rest of his life. And Anthony, who was charming and a bit suave (even with his terrible hair), was perhaps divorced. Maybe he had a couple of grown kids. Maybe he and his partner split because he was a workaholic dedicated to his career as a tenured professor, but now he was coming to the end of his career and realized there could be more out there.
In the South Downs, they felt so worn-in, like a favorite t-shirt, comfortable. The sassiness, the honesty, the peace. It didn't feel at all like a cop-out to me. It felt like the thing Crowley, the demon, wanted for humanity from the very beginning.
Also, I have this theory that even Crowley and Aziraphale's universe was not the first. I think God has been watching their favorite soap opera on repeat, changing the variables. Crowley and Aziraphale are God's favorites, and Satan realized that too in the end. Does that mean God stacked this deck too despite promising they wouldn't? It's very possible, but we will never know, and I enjoy that ambiguity.
And regardless of how you feel about it, I may be reductive when I say it's just a story, but it's just a story. This has been the most amazing fandom. I've made such good friends for life, found a place for myself that I haven't found in the real world, been able express myself in ways that I never thought I would, and have played in a sandbox with infinite possibilities. I have read and will read a 100 stories more that are better written than Good Omens, that steer these two in unfathomable directions.
As a human, I hope I am living in that second universe with Asa and Anthony. I hope I have the free will to make my own decisions, write and create what I want, and have the privilege of being part of one of the best fandoms ever. And we'll all live happily ever after.
Having rewatched the finale, let me say: it hurts so much because they were so close.
Not just as in "Aziraphale and Crowley were close to happiness", but as in "they were so close to writing a good ending". There are so many interesting themes. Michael being tired of trying to make Heaven run smoothly when the men-shaped angels in charge are incompetent. Aziraphale forgiving Michael, which made me realize how crucial forgiveness is to him, and how it makes him different from other angels. Angels are not forgiven when they make mistakes. They are sent to hell or killed with hellfire. Forgiveness is not an angelic trait, it's an Aziraphale trait, because he truly believes that love and forgiveness can change things. And Aziraphale's struggle doesn't differ from Michael's all that much, because he too is tired from constantly trying and failing to do the right thing (they just have vastly different ideas of what the right thing is). These were all interesting themes that deserved an epilogue that wasn't "let's just get rid of both you and the system, to make a new version of you that is not traumatized any longer".
Crowley getting a confrontation with Satan was great actually. And I wish Aziraphale had gotten some closure with God as well, instead of being insulted and seeing his love be called predictable, messy and silly.
And as for their final decision, I still think it is stupid, but if they really really wanted to go that way they should have let Aziraphale and Crowley kiss. The scene just calls for it. When Aziraphale turns back to Crowley after managing to hide his pain (and how I loathe the fact that my angel died as he lived, repressing his feelings, without a real chance to ever speak freely about what he wants), it would have been so poetic if he just grabbed Crowley by the lapels of his jacket in one last, desperate kiss. Not to convince him to change his mind, but as a goodbye, as a "I'm with you, even in death".
They had the times and scenes to make this better, but for whatever reason (Neil Gaiman's writing? Prime's censoring something? I guess we'll never know) they didn't.
