Fight me Helen

I’m just trying to bribe myself through residency with memes and dogs

[ganondorf]

i think this captures the defining pathology of the collective social media psyche right now. we are in the thrall of people who are wantonly cruel but who also demand to be coddled at all times in every way

[konohahater]

car is a sentient beast that eats dollars and can tell when you have money in your bank account

[konohahater]

🎯

[hiveswap]

Horses are also expensive horses that love to die aren't they

[beemovieerotica]

remember when this was the craziest thing politicians ever said

[evilwizard]

this could work. we never tried it

[decamarks]

Thinking of becoming a guy that thinks wolves are the most badass and aspirational animal, but about ants. Like wearing t-shirts about being loyal to my Queen and training to bench 5x my bodyweight. Studying ant warfare. Posting shit like this

[penny-anna]

Finance department asking the real questions

[penny-anna]

The answer here is, obviously, that in the world of Cars there would be no such thing as 'car insurance' as we understand it because cars are people. However, they would refer to life insurance as 'car insurance' bcos it would be a solid goof. Ergo the wrong answer is winning.

[penny-anna]

Decided that since this is displayed in the shared office space we're all invited to participate and went through to add a vote, forgetting that one of the managers from a different office is working in there today, had to explain to him who Lightning McQueen is.

[allandnot]

Tbh, I'm more interested in the competition between Leibnitz and Digestives?

Or is it a "how many times were they mentioned" sort of thing?

[penny-anna]

Oh that's the biscuit world cup

[penny-anna]

It's not actually Leibniz Vs digestives, as you can see it's Leibniz Vs nice and digestives Vs party rings

[penny-anna]

Lady Juniper of Finance was an AI generated picture of a dog dressed in Tudor fashion. She was removed from the flipchart some time ago.

[tobiasdrake]

One thing I will always appreciate Fullmetal Alchemist for is the fact that they let Roy Mustang be complicit in genocide.

Mustang is an Atoner figure. Something that plagues Atoner figures is when writers are too precious about the characters we're meant to like to actually let them be guilty of something serious.

The Atoner might be trying to make amends for their involvement in the Great '87 Hotel Massacre, and then three seasons in you find out what happened. And it's like, "I drove a taxi to the hotel, and the KILLER was in it! I ferried the killer to the hotel! That makes me responsible, and now I must atone for being nearby while the killings took place! And also vanquish the real killer who is the villain for this season."

Or maybe the Atoner did do the killings but they were under mind control the whole time and would never, ever have done it in their right mind.

But FMA said no. Mustang, Hawkeye, Hughes, even Armstrong to an extent though he suffered a breakdown and fled during it. They did that shit. They followed their orders and they did that shit. And it haunts them.

Roy did that shit. And his atonement, his grand ambition, is to see everyone responsible for that shit brought to justice for their crimes. Including himself.

That is how you write an atonement plot.

[celbrini]

weezing at this random addition to the nhl trade liveblog

[agnesmontague]

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

[stellarskyes]

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

[agnesmontague]

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

[segamascott]

[thepromiscuousfinger]

I love very specific cakes

[easily-evi]

I had to redraw this cake 🍰

[sweaterkittensahoy]

A companion:

[hylianane]

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

[maseratus]

Now a functionally suicidal character saying “I will live for you”. Now that’s a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.

[mousidy]

now how about a functionally suicidal character saying "I will sell hot dogs for you"

[mousidy]

[bisthefairy]

Hotdog vender lays down their life to protect their suicidal partner, who then takes over the hotdog stand to carry on their memory...

[maightymai]

[cipheramnesia]

It's like talking to a 2010 Old Spice commercial with you people

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[ozempicofficial]

[animentality]

[thescufflehut]

It's hard to play blanket fort with a cone. :(

[dragon-in-a-fez]

the thing about "no one is talking about this!" posts is that at best they are weird guilt trips trying to make you feel personally responsible for the fact that you haven't heard about one specific thing happening that no one has mentioned to you. at worst they are just wrong because the op turns out to have no idea what people are talking about because they've never listened to another person in their life. either way I am not reblogging that

[hellenhighwater]

Mayhem is at her first physical therapy appointment and I guess they're gonna shoot lasers at my cat

[hellenhighwater]

When she develops super powers it's over for all of us

[hellenhighwater]

I sent this photo to my coworkers/secretary to explain why I'm not in the office this morning, and when I walked in this afternoon:

Truly the best secretaries in the business