Hellsite Detective's Files

a place for me to file away original posts from post cases - Hellsite Detective, P.P.I -

[mindylahiris]

what if we just created a fandom for a tv show that doesn’t exist and we build it up really big and make a ton of inside jokes until the internet just accepts it as a real show and it starts getting included in polls and gets it’s own imdb page and a group of outsiders go crazy trying to find dl links

[beadyeyes]

if i had a lame ass boyfriend i would hype him so much i would make him wait out side so i could go in first and be like get ready here comes the most specialest boy ever if you dont cheer and clap for him ill fucking blow this whole building up

[whatsdifferentincanada]

[dykeofhearts]

[bl4ckbox]

[catherinebunnington]

[coolmomsvevo-deactivated2021012]

oh my GOD so i was talking to a buddy in psychology and then this kid came in who looked exactly like him and gave him a book he’d forgotten at home

and i went “holy shit you have a twin?!?” and he was like “yeah! his name is jason!” and i was like “????? i thought YOUR name was jason”

long story short i have one of them in my math class and another in my psychology class and i’ve developed a friendship with both of them but i thought they were the same person this entire time

[coolmomsvevo-deactivated2021012]

remember this post? not-jason is refusing to tell me his name and everyone’s keeping it from me so i’m just calling him not-jason

[throwupgirl]

my pronouns? i havent a pronoun to me name fore i am penniless and own nothing but me cap and some newspapers to sell ya

[geniusoflove]

wee snaw

[geniusoflove]

wee snaw

[geniusoflove]

wee snaw

[geniusoflove]

wee snaw

[geniusoflove]

wee snaw

[geniusoflove]

wee snaw

[geniusoflove]

wee snaw

[geniusoflove]

wee snaw

[leluh]

snaw wee

[geniusoflove]

you fool. you absolute buffoon. you think you can challenge me in my own realm? you think you can rebel against my authority? you dare come into my house and upturn my dining chairs and spill coffee grounds in my Keurig? you thought you were safe in your chain mail armor behind that screen of yours. I will take these laminate wood floor boards and destroy you. I didn’t want war. but i didn’t start it.

[multiverse-of-misfits]

Horse graveyard desecration vacation

.....what?

[the-nephelococcygian]

”The next morning, the swimming pool was full of furniture and palm trees. Most of the beach now seemed to be in the tennis courts: they were buried beneath a metre and a half of sand. And the beach itself was covered in massive bones. It turned out there was a graveyard for horses nearby-no, I didn't know horses had graveyards either-and the hurricane had deposited most of its contents on the beach.”

Never: The Autobiography. Rick Astley, 2024. P185

[multiverse-of-misfits]

Oh my gods.

[the-nephelococcygian]

Hello detective, thank you for never giving us up!

“The next morning, the swimming pool was full of furniture and palm trees. Most of the beach now seemed to be in the tennis courts: they were buried beneath a metre and a half of sand. And the beach itself was covered in massive bones. It turned out there was a graveyard for horses nearby-no, I didn't know horses had graveyards either-and the hurricane had deposited most of its contents on the beach.”

Never: The Autobiography. Rick Astley, 2024. P185

[writing-prompt-s]

You realize you should’ve done something about the spiders in your attic before they multiplied, gained intelligence and started a civilization. Recently they started worshipping you as their deity.

[kikuwang-deactivated20150830]

my younger cousin’s favorite quote is “mamma mia that is a spicy meatball” and he says it all the time and earlier we went outside to play basketball and he tripped and fell over the uneven concrete and i was about to say are you ok when i heard “mamma mia that is a spicy sidewalk”

[memeluvr2-deactivated20200118]

my algebra teacher is pregnant and asked my class for baby names and she called on me and i panicked and said luigi

[rnozzarellasticks-deactivated20]

I WAS ON MY PHONE IN ART AND I READ THIS AND LAUGHED OUT LOUD AND A KID NEXT TO ME WAS LIKE “WHO ARE YOU TEXTING” AND I PANICKED AND SAID “LUIGI”

[talkingllama]

GUYS THIS SHOULD BE A THING. EVERYTIME SOMEONE ASKS YOU SOMETHING AND YOU PANIC JUST SAY LUIGI

[lameburrito-deactivated20140105]

luigi! at the disco

[cheaphalloweencostume]

not to be insensitive but some of the salem witch trials were so funny bitches like “i saw her at the devils sacrament!!!” girl... what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament 👀

[talonabraxas]

‘Thoth and the Chief Magician’, 1925. Evelyn Pau

[ca314159bara]

[victusinveritas]

Petition to have Seinfeld reshot with Thoth in place of Kramer and either voiced by Michael Richards or an ibis.

Or both in the recording studio at the same time.

[thingssheadores-deactivated2014]

[mariecanker-blog]

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS. THIS IS SO NASTY. WHAT IS THIS STRANGELY SHAPED, HI RES FUCKED UP PIECE OF SHIT. SOMEONE EXPLAIN TO ME THIS DISGUSTING MASS OF WHAT THE FUCK EVER THIS EVEN IS. WHY DO THINGS EXIST LIKE THIS. WHAT THE HELL DO I TAG THIS NASTY THING. WHAT IS THIS. WHAT IS THIS

[striders]

it’s a sliced mango holy shit

[mariecanker-blog]

oh. i like mangoes. 

[undeadentropy]

Toddler response

[not-a-space-alien]

Does anyone else feel, like, a weird inhibition against starting new TV shows?  Like, there are shows I want to watch but when I think about sitting down to start it something in me goes “no you can’t just do that.”  What am i waiting for?  I feel like I need to prepare?  Brain:  You have to wait.  Me:  Wait for what???  Brain:  WAIT

[yourrealitybeyondtime]

I found out recently that it’s due to not having enough emotional or mental space to process something new. Got too much going on in your own head/real life already.

[asteracaea]

SEE YOU IN HELL, PUNK

[hortensius-deactivated20240909]

through autism and necromancy everything is possible