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Lord Farquaad has the bisexual haircut
"Well twist my arm spank my chicken and call me a farmer"
-Dad
my bones!! feel free to look but please don’t steal my bones!!
reblog to steal her bones
we’re over halfway to stealing all of jess’ bones
STOP!!
They took the whole skellington
Congratulations to pancakeke for becoming the first living person to have their bones stolen by tumblr users.
I love how you can’t say “first person”
How to Rick Rolled your Latin teacher
Ok so
1. Look up Never Going To Give You Up in Latin (here is the one i used )
Now you can “Rickroll” your Latin friends.
2. Printed out
3. Get to class before your teacher arrives and put it on their desk
4. tell them what it is at the end of class or when they asked
5. Be disappointed none of your classmates knows what rickrolling is
Why do people listen to the advice of those wannabe ‘writers’. I mean they are not even published?
Excuse you? People can still give out valuable writing advice even if they are not published. Besides, not being published does not mean someone is a bad writer.
Explain?
I assume by being “published” you mean through a publisher and not through self-publishing. Most publishers are for-profit. Meaning they want to make money. However, they don’t like taking chances and spend money on publishing a book that might not sell well. No matter how good of a writer you are, the chances of hearing “Sorry, there is no market for your book”, are extremely high unless you have something to show for it:
Followers on social media, success of your self-published book, email subscribers, website traffic, etc. Anything that shows the publisher that your book will sell increases your chances of being published dramatically. Many times, writers are approached by the publisher!
I have had this conversation with many of my writer friends, and some of them think this is unfair. What you often see is famous people writing a mediocre book and using their fame to have it become a best-seller. Except I don’t think it’s unfair. It’s business. As a writer, you are your own business. Many writers seem to forget this fact!
Let’s take Lang Leav as an example. You might have heard of her as she was dominating the poetry section on Tumblr in ‘13 and ‘14. She amassed many followers on Tumblr by sharing her poetry. She then self-published her book ‘Love & Misadventure” and promoted it on Tumblr.
“How did you get published?
I self-published my first book, Love & Misadventure. As soon as it was listed for sale, my book began to top best-seller charts and caught the attention of two literary agents in New York. I signed up with Writers House and was promptly offered a publishing deal by Andrews McMeel.” (source)
My honest opinion about her work is that it’s poetry for the masses and that she is not necessarily an astounding or great poet. However, her first book has 38,943 ratings on Goodreads (source)
Key to success? Posting her work online, good branding, nice poetry, building a loyal following.
Let’s take fifty shades for example. (YES)
E.L. James used to write twilight fanfiction. Many people loved her Twilight fanfiction so a publisher called The Writer’s Coffee House contacted her, they changed all the names in her work, and the rest is history.
I hope this explains it a little. Publishers mitigate the risk of their investment not being profitable by publishing books that have a high chance of being successful. There are many great, unpublished writers out there sharing valuable advice. Those people not being published has more to do with them not knowing how to increase their chances of being published, rather than being a bad writer.
Currently on a bus from Nice to Paris. It’s a 13 hour drive so I am going to dump a lot of information for people who want to sell a book right now or ten years from now. The sooner you start using this strategy, the more successful you will be.
First of all, if you have a lot of reach (audience), meaning that you have a few thousands of followers on social media, and a publisher contacts you, you always want to ask them if you can self-publish first! Always! If they refuse, you really want to think twice about signing their contract. Why? Because publishers are using your followers to sell your own book to. Self-publishing gives you around ~70% profits. Publishers often offer you a contract giving you 20%. Shady af. I don’t like that shit and I so often see small authors being used like that. Yes, publishers do help with editing etc., but depending on your reach, it’s up to you to decide if hiring an editor yourself isn’t a much better option. So, always SELL to your own fans first self-published if you can. THEN, if the publisher thinks your book has potential beyond your followers, work with them and sign the contract. Don’t let them profit off your fanbase and then leave you hanging.
If you are going to write a book, you need to talk about it! A lot. At least 6 months in advance. Preferably two years. You need to build up some anticipation among your followers. You need people to be aware of it and WANT it. It’s like a book. You don’t just tell your readers the plot in 5 sentences and that’s the book. You need to build up the story. And then BOOM, Karen just turned page 170 and she doesn’t know what’s coming for her, but she’s gonna be shook and love it. Same with promoting your book. Nobody is gonna give a shit if you say: “oh hi, you didn’t know but I wrote a book. You can buy it here”. You gotta talk about it long before you publish it.
Chances are, you don’t have a following at all. In this day and age, social media is all the hype. There is this misconception that you need millions of followers to make a living online. Not true. Let me introduce you to 1,000 True Fans, an article written by Kevin Kelly in 2008. Read it. It’s eye-opening and practical!
“A creator, such as an artist, musician, photographer, craftsperson, performer, animator, designer, videomaker, or author – in other words, anyone producing works of art – needs to acquire only 1,000 True Fans to make a living.”
How to get 1000 fans as a writer (also works for artists)
Your main focus should be on creating content and growing your reach (audience). Focus on building an email list and a simple website. Why an email list? For the same reasons everyone else always asks for your email when you sign up for something: so they can reach you.
Many content creators struggle with two things: algorithms and platforms dying. Instagram’s algorithm makes it so that if someone doesn’t hit ‘like’ on your content for a while, your content gets pushed all the way to the bottom of their feed. Why? Because IG wants you to stay on their app as long as possible and thus shows people the content they interact with the most first. The second reason is, at some point people are not going to use their Myspace, Tumblr, Wattpad, or Instagram account anymore. Someone might have a million followers on Myspace, but right now, if they update their profile, maybe a thousand people will see it if they are lucky. So, how do you keep reaching the people who followed you in the first place? EMAIL.
Email is fantastic for two reasons:
There are no algorithms. People see your email based on the time you sent it.
People do not change their email as much as they do social media.
So, if you ever shoutout your book or art store, you are guaranteed that everyone on your email list sees it.
I recommend MailChimp for sending batch emails. It’s free for up to 1,200 email subscribers, and that’s plenty for small businesses.
But how do you get people to sign up for your email list? Well, there are a million ways to that, but first, we need our website and we need to actually reach people!
Let’s first focus on reaching people
Create a social media account on each platform that makes sense to you. Opt for the same username everywhere to strengthen your brand. Then post your content to each and every single one of these platforms, but add in a call to action. Write a personal caption on Instagram, or write things in the tags on Tumblr. The best advice I can give to writers on Tumblr is to reblog writing prompts and write a story and include a ‘READ MORE’.
Many people don’t like to make the commitment to read something long without knowing what it’s about. A writing prompt is the perfect intro and increases the number of people reading your story.
By including a ‘read more’ people have to visit your Tumblr blog. Have a nice bio, and end your story with something personal and a call to action, this skyrockets the number of followers you will get.
Now the problem is: getting people to reblog your story. You could try DMing bigger blogs, but chances of them reblogging your story are slim. DM your followers instead and ask them to reblog your story if they want. If you don’t have followers, go through a tag of your choosing. Filter on ‘recent’ and DM those. You need to hustle a bit. It doesn’t matter if you wrote the story today or two years ago. If you think it’s good content, then you can self-promote it until it gains traction.
For Instagram: Never use popular tags. Avoid them like the plague. I would even go as far as to not use tags at all. But if you use them, only choose niche tags. Why? Bots. There are so many of them. You NEVER want bots following you on Instagram. Every time you post something new, your post gets ‘tested’ in batches of followers. 20% (this is not proven, but I feel pretty confident about this number) out of the first few people who see your post need to like it, or else Instagram stops pushing your content out to more people. Bots never like your posts. If your post fares well and stays above the 20% it gets pushed out to more people, and it will eventually land on the explore page. I don’t have much experience using tags, but if you use them, make sure bots do not target them.
Post your content everywhere. Writing on Wattpad. Art on DeviantArt etc., and always link to your website! All your socials must link to your website, this is key to build your email list.
Also, quick tip for IG, if you want to grow really fast, make sure your content is well received. Most of your post should have a like/follower rate of 20%. In the beginning, the increase in followers is barely noticeable. But once you have 1k followers, it snowballs! Furthermore, some Instagram pages, often businesses, have a terrible like/follower ratio. Less than 1% of their followers like their content. Why do they even bother with Instagram? Only a small portion of their followers see their content since so few people like it, and so it doesn’t get pushed to the feeds of the rest of their followers. Why do they bother? Email. Many businesses, big or small, use their Instagram account as a funnel to get email subscribers. Email is always more important to a business than followers for email lasts much longer and isn’t subject to algorithms, except the spam filter. However, if you are on Instagram as an artist or writer, strive for both: high engagement and collecting emails.
Now that you are having your email list, website, and your social media accounts are growing, it is time to promote your newsletter (email list) beyond the links to your website on social media. We are striving for 1k email subscribers. It’s not a lot. My advice is to message all your followers. Copy paste the same message asking them if they want to subscribe. Make it personal. I want to know who the artist or writer is. I always enjoy someone’s content more if I know the person behind it. I want to know who you are.
But, at this point, you might be wondering: why would people subscribe to my email list? What to send emails about in the first place? Think long and hard, put yourself in your follower’s shoes. If you asked me:
If you are a writer, I would love to have some bonus material send to my inbox.
Updates about your WIP.
An occasional blog post about your life.
Early bird discount on your book when it comes out.
If you are an artist:
I would love to know about the art process and what inspires you.
Read your blog and learn more about you.
Know when you are open for commissions again.
Get updates about your art store.
Obviously, not everyone is going to sign up for your email list. But try your best to make something special. The goal is to:
Build an email list. You will always reach those people. No algorithms or platforms dying (unless email dies, but not in the foreseeable future)
You can build a relationship with your email subscribers. This is important. By reading about your life, I will become more invested in your writing or art.
You are not selling the cheapest shoes or pens in the world. You sell art and books. Build a relationship with your audience!
I am against using extra incentives that have nothing to do with what you do to have people subscribe to your list. If you do giveaways, then make sure it’s something you sell yourself. Don’t give away a bunch of books you didn’t write or a laptop. You will get people signing up because they want the laptop, not because they are interested in you. Instead, as an artist, do a commission giveaway (people who want your art will sign up) or give a discount for your Esty shop etc., Writers: out of the people who sign up, one person can give you a prompt for a short story, for example. Or give away your book if you have already written one!
(By the way, I see some artists doing amazingly well with commissions on Tumblr already! My advice would be, if you want to keep doing this for a long time, go start your website and email asap. So that ‘if’ Tumblr dies, (at this point I am not sure if it’s even possible for this site to die) you can still reach your audience and keep doing commissions.)
Prioritize your website and email list over your Patreon
Patreon is great. As a creator I love it. However, when does someone become a Patron? For me: first, the rewards need to be good. But second, I need to care about you as a person. You can’t promote everything at the same time. It’s best to focus on one thing for a period of time. I suggest you first build up relationships with your email subscribers, so they get to know you better and give an f, then plug your Patreon.
Email subscribers are more likely to become Patrons compared to the rest of your audience because they already showed you they want to hear more from you by signing up to your newsletter/email list.
You get to collect VALUABLE email addresses first. Those are easier to obtain then having someone become a Patron. People need to pay to become a Patron, your newsletter is free.
This might look a bit counterproductive to some of you. After all, you want to go from A (content) to B ($$$) as fast as possible. But I highly recommend you implement this extra step if Patreon is one of your sources of income. You will end up with more Patrons.
Starting a website and collecting emails
You need a domain name. Preferably a .com. Name it after yourself or your brand/store. There are many ways to go about starting your website.
Here are three:
Bluehost: Bluehost uses WordPress. Take the cheapest package. You don’t need more than that yet. Might be difficult to set up for computer illiterate folks. Though GEN Y and Z should have no problems with it.
FastComet: Also uses WordPress. They claim to be the fastest. Might be hard to set up but it’s very cheap.
Wix: You probably have heard of this one. I suggest you choose the Combo package. It’s free to use, but you do want to upgrade in order to get rid of the blabla.wixsite.com at the end of your domain name. Also, do not buy straight away. They send you a ‘50% discount’ by email after you created a website within 2-14 days. Easiest to use in my opinion.
There are plenty of others out there, but these I have used and are reputable. Feel free to add your hosts to this post.
For email marketing automatization I recommend MailChimp. There are many options, but MailChimp is by far one of the most used and has therefore many one-click-install website integrations, making it is easy to set up. By the way, sending 2-4 emails a month to your list is more than enough.
Hope this helps some of you out. It’s simple but not easy. Also, give it time. You don’t get 1000 email subscribers overnight. The sooner you start the better. And, yeh, you have to put in some time and energy. In my opinion, it’s worth it. Spend 90% of your time creating, the other 10% doing the less fun stuff. If you want to increase your chances of success, being published etc, this is a good way to start. My advice would be: Don’t rely on being discovered or going viral. Rather, increase your chances of being discovered or going viral by strengthening your foundation for success.
Reading material
https://optinmonster.com/email-marketing-vs-social-media-performance-2016-2019-statistics/
https://www.lyfemarketing.com/blog/why-email-marketing/
https://kk.org/thetechnium/1000-true-fans/
https://www.theme-junkie.com/add-read-more-link-tumblr-post/
I just finished reading the first link of the reading material and what stood out is that email is seven times more likely to convert someone into a customer than social media! That’s insane! Thank you, dear person, for posting this. Going to make a website this weekend!
@elizxa-beth you really should! I think your art is amazing. A friend of mine from college does this. She has ~3k followers on Instagram and only ~400 email subcribers. She gets 90% of her comissions through email. About 12 a month! And that’s a lot since she charges anywhere from $75 to $200 for a comission. You could do the same! (:
I think I will! Thank you <3
So I created my own website with Wix today and here are some tips for anyone who wants to start a website using Wix:
1. Let Wix build a website for your first with ADI. Play around with it and publish your website. Then edit it again. Go to ‘site’ and select ‘Go to Wix editor.’ Now you have full control over how your website looks. 2. There is a small learning curve. It might be complicated in the very beginning but don’t give up. Get some snacks and work on your website. It’s actually fun. It took me around 3 hours to create mine.
3. Wix has a built-in email sign up form and email marketing tool called ‘Shoutout’. So you don’t need mailchimp. You can still connect mailchimp to Wix if you prefer.
4. Do wait with upgrading your website until they send you the 50% discount coupon to your email.
5. Signing up for Wix is free. If you upgrade you get a free domain as well!
This is solid advice, but OP forgot to mention the two most important reasons as to why you should have your own website and create an email list. 1) a dot com domain without [.tumblr].com or [.blogger].com in front of it looks professional and conveys trust. 2) You own the website and email list. Tumblr and Instagram accounts are being deleted left and right without warning. Even some creators on Patreon have gotten there accounts banned for no reason at all other than staff messing around. No one can delete your website and email list. You have full ownership.
PSA: you are allowed to reblog this super long post to help out artists and writers!
DON’T MAKE COMMENTS ON CHILDREN’S WEIGHT
This is the fucking reason for my disorder
IF YALL SEE THIS PLEASE REBLOG IT
I took a test on like where you are on the ‘nonverbal intimacy scale’ and the average female score is 102 and male is 93.8 and I got 56 lolololol
here it is if ya want (reblog/reply w/ what you get!!)
I got a 73. Not surprised
….72….
Ayy I got 93 right on target
94. Right on!
85, not unexpected tbh
@myrxellabaratheon
Oof 70 😂 I’m a fucking mess
The fact that nobody is talking about Secret’s new commercials pisses me off
This makes me so happy ☺️
Yesssss😭 I damn near cried
I LOVE THIS OMFG
YOOOOOOOOOOO THATS AMAZING!!!!!
Can someone help me understand I wanna cry to ..I feel something went over my head
The woman in the bathroom is trans and is scared that if she comes out of the stall the women that walked in will insult or harass her. but when she comes out they compliment her on her dress instead. The add ends with saying “stress tested for women.” It means Secret is including trans women in their definition of women.
I have reblogged this three times now, each one mentioning the fact that Secret not only included a trans woman, but that they /had the other women compliment her dress and treat her with respect/. I will reblog this every time I see it because it’s so important. More companies should involve trans people in their marketing - we do exist. Props to Secret for getting in on this movement. It makes me really happy to see more of the trans community represented in daily television.
I LOVE THIS OMFG
This makes me so happy
Reblog if Black Lives Matter to you
Where are those woke white people at!?
The amount of notes this doesn’t have bothers me…
Tumblr has 30-50 million active users. Why does this not even have 1 million notes?
I have over three thousand followers and so far only two reblogged this I’m disappointed
✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿#BLM
Blacks taste the Same as whites so they should have the Same rights
^^^ cannibals for equality
An old and homely grandmother accidentally summons a demon. She mistakes him for her gothic-phase teenage grandson and takes care of him. The demon decides to stay at his new home.
It isn’t uncommon for this particular demon to be summoned—from exhausting Halloween party pranks in abandoned barns to more legitimate (more exhausting) ceremonies in forests—but it has to admit, this is the first time it’s been called forth from its realm into a claustrophobic living room bathed in the dull orange-pink glow of old glass lamps and a multitude of wide-eyed, creepy antique porcelain dolls that could give Chucky a run for his money with all of their silent, seething stares combined. Accompanying those oddities are tea cup and saucer sets on shelves atop frilly doilies crocheted with the utmost care, and cross-stitched, colorful ‘Home Sweet Home’s hung across the wood-paneled walls.
It’s a mistake—a wrong number, per se. No witch it’s ever known has lived in such an, ah, dated, home. Furthermore, no practitioner that ever summoned it has been absent, as if they’d up and ding-dong ditched it. No, it didn’t work that way. Not at all. Not if they want to survive the encounter.
It hears the clinking of movement in the room adjacent—the kitchen, going by the pungent, bitter scent of cooled coffee and soggy, sweet sponge cakes, but more jarring is the smell of blood. It moves—feels something slip beneath its clawed foot as it does, and sees a crocheted blanket of whites and greys and deep black yarn, wound intricately, perfectly, into a summoning circle. Its summoning circle. There is a small splash of bright scarlet and sharp, jagged bits of a broken curio scattered on top, as if someone had dropped it, attempted to pick it up the pieces and pricked their finger. It would explain the blood. And it would explain the demon being brought into this strange place.
As it connects these pieces in its mind, the inhabitant of the house rounds the corner and exits the kitchen, holding a damp, white dish towel close to her hand and fumbling with the beaded bifocals hanging from her neck by a crocheted lanyard before stopping dead in her tracks.
Now, to be fair, the demon wouldn’t ordinarily second guess being face-to-face with a hunchbacked crone with a beaked nose, beady eyes and a peculiar lack of teeth, or a spidery shawl and ankle-length black dress, but there is definitely something amiss here. Especially when the old biddy lets her spectacles fall slack on her bosom and erupts into a wide, toothy (toothless) grin, eyes squinting and crinkling from the sheer effort of it.
“Todd! Todd, dear, I didn’t know you were visiting this year! You didn’t call, you didn’t write—but, oh, I’m so happy you’re here, dear! Would it have been too much to ask you to ring the doorbell? I almost had a heart attack. And don’t worry about the blood, here—I had an accident. My favorite figure toppled off of the table and cleanup didn’t go as expected. But I seem to recall you are quite into the bloodshed and ‘edgy’ stuff these days, so I don’t suppose you mind.” She releases a hearty, kind laugh, but it isn’t mocking, it’s sweet. Grandmotherly. The demon is by no means sentimental or maudlin, but the kindness, the familiarity, the genuine fondness, does pull a few dusty old nostalgic heartstrings. “Imagine if it leaves a scar! It’d be a bit ‘badass,’ as you teenagers say, wouldn’t it?”
She is as blind as a bat without her glasses, it would appear, because the demon is by no means a ‘Todd’ or a human at all, though humanoid, shrouded in sleek, black skin and hard spikes and sharp claws. But the demon humors her, if only because it had been caught off guard.
The old woman smiles still, before turning on her heel and shuffling into the hallway with a stiff gait revealing a poor hip. “Be a dear and make some more coffee, would you please? I’ll be back in a jiffy.”
Yes, this is most definitely a mistake. One for the record books, for certain. For late-night trips to bars and conversations with colleagues, while others discuss how many souls they’d swindled in exchange for peanuts, or how many first-borns they’d been pledged for things idiot humans could have gained without divine intervention. Ugh. Sometimes it all just became so pedantic that little detours like this were a blessing—happy accidents, as the humans would say.
That’s why the demon does as asked, and plods slowly into the kitchen, careful to duck low and avoid the top of the doorframe. That’s why it gingerly takes the small glass pot and empties it of old, stale coffee and carefully, so carefully, takes a measuring scoop between its claws and fills the machine with fresh grounds. It’s as the hot water is percolating that the old woman returns, her index finger wrapped tight in a series of beige bandages.
“I’m surprised you’re so tall, Todd! I haven’t seen you since you were at my hip! But your mother mails photos all the time—you do love wearing all black, don’t you?” She takes a seat at the small round table in the corner and taps the glass lid of the cake plate with quaking, unsteady, aged hands. “I was starting to think you’d never visit. Your father and I have had our disagreements, but…I am glad you’re here, dear. Would you like some cake?” Before the demon has a chance to decline, she lifts the lid and cuts a generous slice from the near-complete circle that has scarcely been touched. It smells of citrus and cream and is, as assumed earlier, soggy, oversaturated with icing.
It was made for a special occasion, for guests, but it doesn’t seem this old woman receives much company in this musty, stagnant house that smells like an antique garage that hadn’t had its dust stirred in years.
Especially not from her absentee grandson, Todd.
The demon waits until the coffee pot is full, and takes two small mugs from the counter, filling them until steam is frothing over the rims. Then, and only then, does it accept the cake and sit, with some difficulty, in a small chair at the small table. It warbles out a polite ‘thank you,’ but it doesn’t suppose the woman understands. Manners are manners regardless.
“Oh, dear, I can hardly understand. Your voice has gotten so deep, just like your grandfather’s was. That, and I do recall you have an affinity for that gravelly, screaming music. Did your voice get strained? It’s alright, dear, I’ll do the talking. You just rest up. The coffee will help soothe.”
The demon merely nods—some communication can be understood without fail—and drinks the coffee and eats the cake with a too-small fork. It’s ordinary, mushy, but delicious because of the intent behind it and the love that must have gone into its creation.
“I hope you enjoyed all of the presents I sent you. You never write back—but I am aware most people use that fancy E-mail these days. I just can’t wrap my head around it. I do wish your mom and dad would visit sometime. I know of a wonderful little café down the street we can go to. I haven’t been; I wanted to visit it with Charles, before he…well.” She falls silent in her rambling, staring into her coffee with a small, melancholy smile. “I can’t believe it’s been ten years. You never had the chance to meet him. But never mind that.” Suddenly, and with surprising speed that has the demon concerned for her well being, she moves to her feet, bracing her hands on the edge of the table. “I may as well give you your birthday present, since you’re here. What timing! I only finished it this morning. I’ll be right back.”
When she returns, the white, grey and black crocheted work with the summoning circle is bundled in her arms.
“I found these designs in an occult book I borrowed from the library. I thought you’d like them on a nice, warm blanket to fight off the winter chill—I hope you do like it.” With gentle hands, she spreads the blanket over the demon’s broad, spiky back like a shawl, smoothing it over craggy shoulders and patting its arms affectionately. “Happy birthday, Todd, dear.”
Well, that settles it. Whoever, wherever, Todd is, he’s clearly missing out. The demon will just have to be her grandson from now on.
this is so sweet. it made me want to hug someone.
i had to
I WOULD WATCH SIX SEASONS AND A MOVIE
Okay but she takes him to the little cafe and all of the people in her town are like “What is that thing, what the hell, Anette?” and she’s like “Don’t you remember my grandson Todd?” and the entire town just has to play along because no one will tell little old Nettie that her grandson is an actual demon because this is the happiest she’s been since her husband died.
Bonus: In season 4 she makes him run for mayor and he wins
I just want to watch ‘Todd’ help her with groceries, and help her with cooking, and help her clean up the dust around the house and air it out, and fill it with spring flowers because Anette mentioned she loved hyacinth and daffodils. Over the seasons her eyesight worsens, so ‘Todd’ brings a hellhound into the house to act as her seeing eye dog, and people in town are kinda terrified of this massive black brute with fur that drips like thick oil, and a mouth that can open all the way back to its chest, but ‘Honey’ likes her hard candies, and doesn’t get oil on the carpet, and when ‘Todd’ has to go back to Hell for errands, Honey will snuggle up to Anette and rest his giant head on her lap, and whuff at her pockets for butterscotch. Anette never gives ‘Todd’ her soul, but she gives him her heart
In season six, Anette gets sick. She spends most of the season bedridden and it becomes obvious by about midway through the season that she’s not going to make it to the end of the season. Todd spends the season travelling back and forth between the human realm and his home plane, trying hard to find something, anything that will help Anette get better, to prolong her life. He’s tried getting her to sell him her soul, but she’s just laughed, told him that he shouldn’t talk like that. With only a few episodes left in the season Anette passes away, Todd is by her side. When the reaper comes for her Todd asks about the fate of her soul. In a dispassionate voice the reaper informs Todd that Anette spent the last few years of her life cavorting with creatures of darkness, that there can be only one fate for her. Todd refuses to accept this and he fights the reaper, eventually injuring the creature and driving it off. Knowing that Anette cannot stay in the Human Realm, and refusing to allow her spirit to be taken by another reaper, so he takes her soul in his arms. He’s done this before, when mortals have sold themselves to him. This time the soul cradled against his chest does not snuggle and fight. This time the soul held tight against him reaches out, pats him on the cheek tells him he was a good boy, and so handsome, just like his grandfather. Todd takes Anette back to the demon realm, holding her tight against him as he travels across the bleak and forebidding landscape; such a sharp contrast to the rosy warmth of Anette’s home. Eventually, in a far corner of his home plane, Todd finds what he is looking for. It is a place where other demons do not tread; a large boulder cracked and broken, with a gap just barely large enough for Todd to fit through. This crack, of all things, gives him pause, but Anette’s soul makes a comment about needing to get home in time to feed Honey, and Todd forces himself to pass through it. He travels in darkness for a while, before he emerges into into a light so bright that it’s blinding. His eyes adjust slowly, and he finds himself face to face with two creatures, each of them at least twice his size one of them has six wings and the head of a lion, one of them is an amorphous creature within several rings. The lion-headed one snarls at Todd, and demands that he turn back, that he has no business here. Todd looks down, holding Anette’s soul against his chest, he takes a deep breath, and speaks a single word, “Please.” The two larger beings are taken aback by this. They are too used to Todd’s kind being belligerent, they consult with each other, they argue. The amorphous one seems to want to be lenient, the lion-headed one insists on being stricter. While they’re arguing Todd sneaks by them and runs as fast as he can, deeper into the brightly lit expanse. The path on which he travels begins to slope upwards, and eventually becomes a staircase. It becomes evident that each step further up the stair is more and more difficult for Todd, that it’s physically paining him to climb these stairs, but he keeps going.
They dedicate a full episode to this climb; interspersing the climb with scenes they weren’t able to show in previous seasons, Anette and Honey coming to visit Todd in the Mayor’s office, Anette and Todd playing bingo together for the first time, Anette and Todd watching their stories together in the mid afternoon, Anette falling asleep in her chair and Todd gently carrying her to bed. Anette making Todd lemonade in the summer while he’s up on the roof fixing that leak and cleaning out the rain gutters. Eventually Todd reaches the top, and all but collapses, he falls to a knee and for the first time his grip on Anette’s soul slips, and she falls away from him. Landing on the ground. He reaches out for her, but someone gets there first. Another hand reaches out, and helps this elderly woman off the ground, helps her get to her feet. Anette gasps, it’s Charles. The pair of them throw their arms around each other. Anette tells Charles that she’s missed him so much, and she has so much to tell him. Charles nods. Todd watches a soft smile on his face. A delicate hand touches Todd’s shoulder, and pulls him easily to his feet. A figure; we never see exactly what it looks like, leans down, whispering in Todd’s ear that he’s done well, and that Anette will be well taken care of here. That she will spend an eternity with her loved ones. Todd looks back over to her, she’s surrounded by a sea of people. Todd nods, and smiles. The figure behind him tells him that while he has done good in bringing Anette here, this is not his place, and he must leave. Todd nods, he knew this would be the case. Todd gets about six steps down the stairway before he is stopped by someone grabbing his shoulder again. He turns around, and Anette is standing behind him. She gives him a big hug and leads him back up the stairs, he should stay, she says. Get to know the family. Todd tries to tell her that he can’t stay, but she won’t hear it. She leads him up into the crowd of people and begins introducing him to long dead relatives of hers, all of whom give him skeptical looks when she introduces him as her grandson. The mysterious figure appears next to Todd again and tells him once more he must leave, Todd opens his mouth to answer but Anette cuts him off. Nonsense, she tells the figure. IF she’s gonna stay here forever her grandson will be welcome to visit her. She and the figure stare at each other for a moment. The figure eventually sighs and looks away, the figure asks Todd if she’s always like this. Todd just shrugs and smiles, allowing Anette to lead him through a pair of pearly gates, she’s already talking about how much cake they’ll need to feed all of these relatives.
P.S. Honey is a Good Dog and gets to go, too.
the last lines of the show:
demon: you’re not blind here – but you’re not surprised. when…?
anette: oh, toddy, don’t be silly, my biological grandson’s not twelve feet tall and doesn’t scorch the furniture when he sneezes. i’ve known for ages.
demon: then why?
anette: you wouldn’t have stayed if you weren’t lonely too.
demon: you… you don’t have to keep calling me your grandson.
anette: nonsense! adopted children are just as real. now quit sniffling, you silly boy, and let’s go bake a cake. honey, heel!
honey: W̝̽̂̿͂͝Ọ̮̹̲̪̋ͦͅO̸̘͔̬͊F̜̫͙̟͕͖̙̋ͫ͌͗
that addition is a+ :)
THE ONLY ENDING I WILL EVER ACCEPT FOR THIS
Every time this post shows up on my dash, it gets better (and more heart wrenching. Y’all! Stop cutting the onions okay?!).
If ever don’t reblogging this, I’m either dead, dying, or buried under cat.
This is why I love Tumblr so much! Thank you all for collaborating on this prompt and turning it into something beautiful <3
Writing Advice: it doesn’t matter if an idea has been done before. It’s never been done by you. So long as you do it well, and in your own way, it’s a wonderful contribution.
*slams fists on table*
THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED
*flips table*
BEST FRIENDS TO LOVERS
*Kicks chair*
ENEMIES TO LOVERS
*throws lamp across room*
HELP I NEED A FAKE BOYFRIEND FOR MY EX’S WEDDING
*rips down the curtains*
THEY’RE FAMOUS AND THEIR FANS SHIP THEM
*clutches wine glass so hard it shatters in my fist*
THEY WERE ROOMMATES
oh my god they were roommates
AND THEY PINED MUTUALLY
YOU’RE FROM THE ROYAL FAMILY AND I AM JUST A SIMPLE SERVANT
THEY BOTH HAVE A SECRET THAT RELATES
THEY ARE ENEMY AGENTS
EVERYONE THINKS THEY’RE ALREADY TOGETHER
THEY DON’T REALIZE THEY’RE SOULMATES
Anyone who wants to write their own take on something that’s been done a million times should DO THE FUCK OUT OF IT.
Here’s something to get you started:
http://fencer-x.tumblr.com/post/155588510141/the-big-list-of-cliches
So, this list used to be freely available on cliche_bingo’s LJ comm, but the comm is many years dead and the moderator has deleted, and th
Important about the Tumblr “Purge”
Tumblr has made and official statement on twitter about what’s going on:
We’re committed to helping build a safe online environment for all users, and we have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to media featuring child sexual exploitation and abuse. As this is an industry-wide problem, we work collaboratively with our industry peers and partners like NCMEC to actively monitor content uploaded to the platform. Every image uploaded to Tumblr is scanned against an industry database of known child sexual abuse material, and images that are detected never reach the platform. A routine audit discovered content on our platform that had not yet been included in the industry database. We immediately removed this content. Content safeguards are a challenging aspect of operating scaled platforms. We’re continuously assessing further steps we can take to improve and there is no higher priority for our team.
Please please please, for the love of everything, stop spreading fear in our community. They are not purging your blogs for having NSFW content. If your blog gets deleted and you didn’t have any of the above mentioned content, or something that could be percived as such, then please contact Tumblr Support to regain your blog. They can be contacted via the form here.
Please reblog so people stop spreading false information and cause unnecesary fear.
I’M DOING AN EXPERIMENT
CAN TRANS BOYS BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN STRAIGHT?
Hey there,
May I ask for just a moment of your time?
I’ll be in need of your help, I gotta prove something to my parents…
PLEASE
READ CAREFULLY BEFORE LIKING/REBLOGGING, THE INSTRUCTIONS TAKE MAIN PART IN THE EXPERIMENT
<3
GUYS!! SOME OF YOU ARE STILL LIKING+ REBLOGGING THIS POST!!
Please, READ THE INSTRUCTIONS BEFORE DOING ANYTHING!
<3
REBLOG IF YOU THINK TRANS BOYS CAN BE GAY/PAN/ACE/ETC.
LIKE IF YOU THINK THEY CAN ONLY LOVE GIRLS CUZ “THEY’RE BOYS”
Thank you so much <3
20gayteen Pride Asks
1. What is your sexual orientation?
2. What is your romantic orientation?
3. Which pronouns do you use?
4. Have you come out to friends?
5. Have you come out to family?
6. Do you have a pride flag that fits your identity(s), and if so, which one?
7. Have you ever experienced queerphobia?
8. Are you flamboyant or more quiet?
9. Who was the first person you came out to?
10. What age did you come out?
11. How long have you think you’ve known you were queer?
12. Have you ever been to Pride parade(s)?
13. What is/was your biggest fear of coming out?
14. What annoying questions do you get (like how do you two have sex, aren’t there only two genders, etc…)
15. Who is your Gay Icon™️?
16. Which queer artist is your fav?
17. How many queer relationships have you been in?
18. Have people at Pride ever harassed you because you weren’t the typical gay/lesbian, or were in an opposite gender relationship at the time?
19. Are there any other queerfolk in your family or friend group?
20. Which color of the rainbow are you?
Feel free to send me asks, or tell me a bit about yourselves! Happy Pride everybody💗💜💙
Ask away!
ABSOLUTE WARNING, REBLOG THIS ASAP.
this is a bit of an emergency BAD NEWS AHEAD If you use Tumblr, backup your stuff right now and make a post redirecting your followers to another account, Twitter or something like that Apple removed Tumblr from the App Store because their porn bot problem got too big, and they don’t allow explicit NSFW apps Tumblr, like the galaxy-brained geniuses they are, are going on a spree and deleting lots of NSFW blogs Even famous artists like cutesexyrobots and eigaka got their blogs purged, so ACT QUICK
@eemamminy
Blogs arent getting deleted on purpose and yall need to stop starting mass panick literally right now cause its annoying
So hey. Try spreading this to your purged friends.
Tell them to contact tumblr.
And get their blogs back.
Coming into a fandom late
Coming into a fandom early and watching it become an angry clusterfuck
Being in a dormant fandom that suddenly comes alive again after a new book/movie
Don’t forget about those who come in the midst of a fandom war.
Accuracy at its best
Being in a fandom and not even knowing there’s a war going on…
all of this shit…lol
When You’re Not In The Fandom But You’re Nosy AF
When you get into a fandom only to discover it’s dead
This gets better every time I see it.
@fuboos-mess
Being in a dead fandom…
Or being in such a tiny fandom that it feels like youre the only one
The accuracy hurts.
Being in a fandom that had a shit ending.
When you’ve been fangirling long enough, you’ve experienced all of the above.
Being in a fandom meant for kids.
This just gets better..
@mi-kleos
When you realize that joining the fandom has ruined you
Fandom hell in general
Yes.
This^^^ just… ALL OF THIS.
Being in so many fandoms that you don’t even know what’s going on
THIS IS THE SKULDUGGERY FUCKING PLEASANT FANDOM IN ONE POST!!
Trying to recruit people to your fandom
Annnnnnndddd it’s back
Being in a fandom which has so many antis
I’ve probably reblogged this before, but that was before these great additions.
Being in a fandom that actually works together
Why is this so true? All of it.
being in a fanbase but all your mutuals suddenly turn into Kpop blogs
I always enjoy it when a good post comes around again and has been improved by the reblogs like the years for a fine wine.
Being in a fandom when shit goes down and everyone has different opinions
When you are in a fandom and don’t care for others people opinion…..even if they are right…(believe me, I have met several of those)
Being in a fandom you never meant to join
I love this. and it’s gotten better
After abandoning a fandom you’re still a little bit emotionally invested in….
THIS IS A TUMBLR RELIC! ALWAYS REBLOG!
These are are just so accurate it hurts
Well, that is one way to pass the time during a rain delay
This is the quality content I live for